Before Jamie-Lynn Sigler gave birth to her first child, she thought the early days of motherhood were going to be euphoric and effortless. But in reality, they were a struggle. After battling feelings of intense sadness or feeling incompetent as a mother, she was diagnosed with postpartum depression, the most common childbirth complication, affecting 1 in 9 women, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Protection.
During her second pregnancy, she was much more candid about her experience and opened up to her friend Jenna Parris who also just so happened to be pregnant with her second child. Recognizing a need for a platform where mothers can have honest, vulnerable, relatable conversations, Sigler and Parris started a podcast called Mama Said. Thirty-five episodes and three million downloads later, they’re now at the helm of a full-fledged business.
Below, Sigler gets real with Create & Cultivate about balancing her burgeoning business with her career, her family life, and her health.
CREATE & CULTIVATE: Earlier this year you started a podcast called Mama Said, which discusses everything it means to be a mom. Why did you decide to start this podcast? What conversations are you hoping to have? Tell us everything!
JAIME-LYNN SIGLER: After I had my first son, I struggled greatly and silently. I thought early motherhood was supposed to be blissful and effortless, and while there were many moments of absolute joy looking at my beautiful baby boy, I also had feelings of complete inadequacy and loneliness. Breastfeeding was hard, not sleeping was hard, and I didn't realize at the time, but I was suffering from postpartum depression.
Since I wasn't openly talking about these things (because not many women I knew were), I thought I was a bad mom. I thought I wasn't cut out for it, and I would actually feel bad for my precious Beau, that he got stuck with a mom like me. As he grew, and I did too, things changed and shifted and improved, but I never forgot that dark time. When I had my second boy, Jack, I was better prepared. All the struggles were the same, but this time I opened up. My friend Jenna, who had her second baby at the same time as me, became my person. We talked so openly about what we were going through, and while the conversations were heavy at times, they were always hilarious.
We realized that moms out there (especially new ones) could really use this type of candid talk to see that they weren't alone. So we started shopping our idea around! Two months later we signed a contract, launched our first episode in February 2019, and here we are. 35 episodes and over 3 million downloads later, and we see an actual brand and business that we have created.
Podcasting has taken the world by storm and you are riding that wave. What lessons have you learned by tackling this media and creating your own show? What advice can you share for those thinking about starting their own podcast? How hard/easy is it?
Podcasting is basically letting people in on an intimate conversation. The best advice we received, from our mentors over at the LadyGang, was structure. Having segments has allowed us to really find our groove, all the while being open to talk freely with our guests in between. It has been incredibly helpful. We also always invite our guests to choose a topic of their own, if they want, so it allows them to be passionate about the conversation, and the show turns out better. Jenna and I work really hard on each show, but once we are actually recording, its the easiest job in the world.
“Having people see that I can live a very full life, despite my limitations at the moment, keeps me going and makes me proud.”
When you hit a bump or hurdle in your career, how do you #FindNewRoads + switch gears to find success?
It’s a combination of surrendering and regaining control. I have found in my acting career, during the slower times (which are the frustrating and often heartbreaking ones), I try and find a way to surrender to the universe but also control what I can. What that means for me is trusting that work will come, but in between, I get back in acting class, reading books on acting that I love, watching a million films... just really getting re-inspired to remind myself why I love it so much.
You've opened up recently about life with MS and revealed that you lived silently with the disease for 15 years. You've been such a positive role model and spokesperson for MS. What advice can you give to others who are balancing their health with their career?
I wish I had a handbook for this. The truth is, I have really good days, and bad days too. I have to take really good care of myself in order to be able to live out my dreams as a mom, wife, actress, etc. The key is to remind myself of this when I am having a low moment. Life happens. To all of us, chronic illness or not. Self-care is not an easy concept for me. I am so much more comfortable burning the candles at both ends so I can be a present mom and friend, but that’s just not possible for me.
I compare my body to a car. I have a certain amount of "gas" in my tank each day, and I have to carefully allot where I put my energy. On days when I have nothing going on, I do everything with my kids. Everything. But on the days when I have to show up for other roles in my life, I just know that I have to rest more and hand over certain responsibilities to others. It’s not easy for me to see my nanny take my kids to the park or fun places and having to stay home to rest, but I am a MUCH better mom when they come home. And I know that, in the end, it makes all the things I want out of life much more possible. I am always reminding myself of the "put-your-oxygen-mask-on-first idea." A healthy mom and person mean a more present mom and a stronger actress.
You are very candid and honest in the way you share your life on social media from living with MS to raising kids and just simple, real-life moments. Why did you decide to take this approach and connect with your audience in this way? What impact has it had?
I always feel like I am so bad at the whole social media thing. I try to be as open as I can, without focusing too much on one area of my life versus another. I share my struggles so others feel less alone and so I can get things out of my mind and out into the universe, but I also chose to share the joy and simple things as well. I am not going to sit and wallow about my MS all day or post pictures of my kids’ every move either. My hope, in the way I share my life on social media, is that I appear relatable, positive and honest. Having a community of others that have similar struggles (and TRIUMPHS!), has helped me so much in this journey I am on. I truly believe social media can be a wonderful source of connection and community when used properly.
We talk about money a lot at C&C so we'd love to know, what was the biggest money lesson you learned since launching your business? What money advice can you share for new entrepreneurs reading this?
I have saved, saved, and saved for most of my life. I always take at least one nice vacation a year, and I budget when necessary because it makes me feel more in control of things. It has allowed me to now start investing in some funds and companies I believe in. Whether it’s a minimal or substantial investment, I feel so proud of the way I have handled things, especially when having children. I also defer to accountants and people I admire for advice, but I always remind myself of the quote my dad has always told me, "Limit your should have, would have, could haves, and you will never wonder ‘what if?’”
Who in your field most inspires/influences you? How this person shaped your career? Why?
My manager. He respects my choices and goals, while also being frank about the money part of this business and how sometimes you do things for the paycheck to buy you that time before the next big role comes.
What about your job makes you feel the most fulfilled? Why?
Hearing from people that they feel connected and understood by me. From sharing things about motherhood to living with MS to acting, having people see that I can live a very full life, despite my limitations at the moment, keeps me going and makes me proud.
“I share my struggles so others feel less alone and so I can get things out of my mind and out into the universe. But I also choose to share the joy and simple things as well.”
What's a mistake you made in your career or business and what did you learn from it? How did you turn it into an opportunity?
Not doing enough research before making a big decision. It’s been a while since I have done anything like this, but I have learned the hard way that there is power in saying “no” and listening to my gut. It has never led me wrong.
With success comes opportunity, but that also means you have your hands full. What keeps you inspired and motivated to keep going even on your most challenging days?
My kids. Plain and simple. I want them to see a mom who works hard in all aspects of her life but will always be there for the fun too.
Success is such a broad term and it means something different to everyone. How do you define success?
Success means, at the end of the day, I am proud of my choices and I know I tried my best. Even if things didn't go my way. Trying my best makes me feel fulfilled and successful.
What is the #1 book you always recommend? Why?
The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. In a way, it takes all the pressure off life. It allows you to really see the world through a different lens. I re-read it every year and even have a tiny copy of it that I carry in my bag.
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