How to Heal Your Relationship With Money

November 12, 2020
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Money is emotional. 

Think about how excited you were as a kid when someone gave you money to buy a treat from the ice cream truck or how rich you felt when you started your first job in high school. 

How does money make you feel today? 

If money talk makes your palms sweat, you are not alone. Our relationship with money is incredibly personal and rooted in our upbringing. No matter how you grew up, beliefs about money are ingrained in you.  

Most people struggle with their relationship with money, but when that money feels directly tied to our business success, it can be even more challenging to heal. As an entrepreneur, you not only have to think about your finances, but also what money means for your business.

Entrepreneurs just starting out may fall into two camps when it comes to their relationship with money: The “you gotta spend money to make money” camp, or “I’m afraid of spending and losing what I have” camp. Both are common setbacks for entrepreneurs.

And the thing is, both may be limiting you. It limits growth in your business, limits your wealth, and limits the success—however it means to you—of your business.

When I started my business, I was so nervous about outsourcing because I didn’t want to say goodbye to a chunk of revenue. With my corporate mentality, I was accustomed to making a certain amount of money and keeping a portion of that money. As an entrepreneur, I had to overcome the fear of investing in order to grow my business. 

As a financial and investing coach, I work with powerful corporate women and bad*ss women entrepreneurs. They know how powerful money, as a tool, is and understand that it is vital to their success in business. However, like many of us, they have a natural inclination toward feelings of scarcity around money.

But that doesn’t mean that they (nor you) don’t have the power to shift their mindset to a place of abundance. 

Beyond the numbers in their bank accounts, the women in my program walk away feeling confident when it comes to money and investing.

This is the ultimate goal: Getting to this abundance mindset and confidence level, and it takes real work which goes beyond reading books or listening to speakers. It takes a lot of unpacking. 

Like anything, our relationship with money is directly tied to our behavior. Whatever your money mindset is currently, it is influencing your actions, and those actions lead to both good and bad results.

If you feel like money is running your life, you are struggling to generate more income, or just feel overwhelmed with finances, here are some steps to heal your relationship with money and turn that intimidating, confusing topic into one that empowers you.

1. Explore your limiting beliefs.

A limiting belief is a false belief that you learn by making an incorrect assumption about something in life.

When we are children, we are like human sponges. We absorb everything we see and hear from the adults in our lives. What we learn gets stored in our unconscious mind and our brain recalls the information when needed. The important thing to remember is that your thoughts and beliefs may not be things that YOU believe at all, they’ve just stuck with you into adulthood.

If you see a couple in a Ferrari and think, “Ugh, that’s so flashy and greedy,” ask yourself what makes you think those people are greedy? Do you know them? What if they’re philanthropists that donate a quarter of their income to charity and you’ve falsely labeled them as greedy. Half of the battle with money is becoming aware of your existing beliefs and understanding where they came from. 

Some of the limiting beliefs I see surrounding money are, “I’ll never have enough money,” “I could never afford that,” “Wealthy people are greedy,” or “I will always have debt.” While you may not realize that these thoughts are impacting you, they determine your relationship with money. 

Sit down with a notebook and a pen, grab your beverage of choice, and settle in. Now, think about how you think about money and write those thoughts down. Then, ask yourself where that thought came from. Is it a belief of your own? Was it adopted? Then ask yourself if you believe that thought to be true or false. 

2. Reframe and create new beliefs.

When a piece of information or a thought comes to us, we either disregard, question, or hold onto it as a belief. This step is all about deciding what YOU believe and what beliefs you are ready to let go of.

Find evidence contrary to the false beliefs you have identified. For example, instead of thinking, “I’ll never have $10,000-revenue months in my business,” what if you told yourself, “I’m not yet hitting $10,000 revenue months, but I’m on my way.” Notice the difference in how that feels? Reflect on what you actually believe, and write the reimagined thought down next to the old limiting belief.

Another tip is to come up with supportive money mantras that will help you feel more positive and less stuck when it comes to money. Some examples are, “I am WILDLY worthy of MASSIVE abundance!” or “The more money I make, the more it magically flows into my life!” 

3. Gain clarity and direction. 

Once you really have a chance to sit with your limiting beliefs about money and revisit them, it’s time to take action. Without goals or a direction, you won’t have milestones to celebrate with a dance party or know where you should be directing your energy. 

Let’s say you’re an entrepreneur, and you decide, “I want to have consistent $10,000-revenue months.” That’s a great start, but that goal should be clearer and more specific. Visualize the path you need to take to get to that larger goal. Do you need additional support? If so, what type? Do you need to set aside money for marketing? A mentor? A new offer?

Consider the concrete steps you will need to take to achieve that financial goal along with the costs (including time, mental labor, overhead costs, etc.) associated with each step. 

Getting clarity on your goals will allow for more celebration and less stress. After all, finances are a lot more fun with a celebratory glass of Champagne in hand. 

4. Build your confidence.

You are a bad*ss boss lady who is an industry leader, and you’re a force to be reckoned with. That confidence you bring to sales calls and speaking events should be the same confidence you bring to your finances. It just takes some practice. 

The most important step to healing your relationship with money is letting go and stepping into your confidence when it comes to your business and your money. You have to jump in. It’s time to put your CEO hat on, feel inspired by your new money story, and be fearless in making money decisions. Your business will skyrocket and so will your confidence.

About the Author: Lisa Seery is a money and investing coach for entrepreneurs and high-powered corporate women. She leverages her 15-year career in investment management and her education as a health coach to educate and empower women to become confident investors, own their money story, and heal their relationship with money.

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