You're Only Cringe 'Til You're Successful
🗓️ LEX NIKO POSTED TO THE GROUP CHAT APR 23, 2026
CAREER & PERSONAL BRANDING | LEADERSHIP & IDENTITY | COMMUNITY, NETWORKS & SOCIAL CAPITAL
This is one of my favorite things to remind people of, in the challenging moments that we all inevitably face. I first heard this sentiment from the lovely Audrey Peters, who frequently shares this phrase on her popular social accounts. She has faced some tough critics as a luxury Tiktok creator but it has not stopped her from amassing an audience of over 1 million fans and partnering with global brands from Wella Hair to Rhode to Alo Yoga. She continued to lean in to who she was and bet on herself, in spite of the cringe factor, and as a result, has built a career in a lane all her own.
I say all of this to get one point across before we go any further. Every person you admire, from the founder, the creator, the executive or the artist, had a version of themselves that was deeply, and wonderfully cringe.
And if you truly want to be successful, there is no secret sauce. You don't get to skip the cringe part. Nobody does. And if I’m being honest? The cringe is kind of the whole point.
Betting on Yourself Is a Rite of Passage. Not a Personality Type.
There's a story we tell ourselves about the kind of person who bets on themselves. They're bold. They walk into rooms with a confidence that takes up space before they've even arrived. But that's not actually how it works.
Betting on yourself is not a personality trait. It's a practice and it looks different for everyone. For some, it's launching the business. For others, it's sending the cold email, posting that first video, or raising your hand in a meeting when you're not sure you have the answer. The scale doesn't matter. What matters is that you do it at all.
No matter what you're building, at some point you're going to have to look inward and decide that you're worth the risk. That decision is one of the most important ones you'll ever make.
Take Comfort in the Cringe. Everyone Goes Through It.
In my first Group Chat newsletter, I talked about The Year of The Try. And here's the refresher I want to remind you of: The discomfort you’re feeling isn't a signal that you're doing something wrong. It's actually a signal that you're doing it at all.
Putting yourself out there, requires a tolerance for awkwardness that most of us were never taught to build. We were taught to wait until we felt "ready." So we avoided it. We tell ourselves we'll start when the timing is better or when we have more experience.
But ready doesn't come unless you just do it.
And one of the most useful shortcuts I know? Find the people who already have what you want. Study their habits. Understand how they move. Yes, fake it 'til you make it! It’s a starting point from where you can begin and course correct. Because you cannot course correct something that you never started.
Practice doesn't make perfect. Practice makes possible.
Find Your Ritual and Make It Repeatable
Quick Storytime: I once worked with an executive who had convinced themselves they could not speak on camera. It was a full stop, non-negotiable. And to get them over that obstacle, I had to understand how to speak their language and meet them where they are. So we made a plan. We committed to creating one piece of content a week, wrote simple scripts and blocked dedicated content time at the same time each week. We did as many takes as it took. We treated it like an exercise program (The Athlete Mindset). And yes, we faked it til they made it. Slowly something shifted and the executive found their groove. Not because the fear disappeared but because they learned how to move beyond it. The people who win over time aren't the ones with more confidence, they've just built better systems.
Take some time to reflect and ask yourself: what do you need to push past the resistance? What habits, rituals, or environments actually work for you? Who do you admire and what can you learn from what they do?
There's no universal answer. The work is figuring out what moves you and making it non-negotiable. The Athlete mindset. The Year of The Try. Whatever you want to call it, I hope you have started to realize that the common thread is showing up again and again. However imperfectly, oftentimes uncomfortably, and yes even when it’s cringe.
And there’s a line that lives rent-free in my mind, that I look to, whenever I need to dig deep. Emily Sundberg said, "You cannot compete with people who are having more fun than you." That line seriously lives in my head rent-free for a reason. Because joy is a competitive advantage. You have to find your why, and have fun doing it. You have to accept the cringe, and have fun in spite of it.
The Journey Is Literally the Point
I know. I know. This is the most cliché thing anyone has ever said. But I'm going to say it anyway, because I didn't actually believe it until I lived it:
The destination is not the point. The journey is.
I have learned more about who I am, who I want to be, and how I want to show up in this world through the process of getting here than I have from actually being at this moment of success. The self-knowledge, the inner strength and clarity, all came from the journey.
I hope this resonates with many of you because if there’s one thing I reflect on and know for certain, it’s that it took me a really, really long time to stop fighting the journey and start appreciating it. It’s something that I wish I understood sooner. And I often wonder where I would be if I learned that surrender earlier.
Which is exactly why I think it's the most important thing I can leave you with.
There is so much joy and growth in betting on yourself, to any degree, however cringe, however you want to define that. Trusting that you've got you, when it comes to whatever it is you're trying to figure out, has been one of the greatest privileges of self-discovery in my personal and professional life. No matter what has happened, I realized, I’ve always been able to count on myself to figure out the next step. Not because I always knew the answer but because I trusted myself and kept going anyway.
So the journey should be fun. And I know not all of it will be, but as a whole, it should feel like yours. Like something you chose, something you're building, something that lights you up even on the days it exhausts you.
You're only cringe 'til you're successful. And even then, you're still a little cringe! You're just more proud to own it.
Be cringe. Bet on yourself. Big or small. It's one of the most important things you'll ever learn to do.
