Influencers Share How to Celebrate Confidence and Beauty

photo credit: Jessica Bordner Photo 

How do your beauty and confidence line up?

It was a hot topic of the day when we gathered in Miami for our Create & Cultivate x Clinique “Best Face Forward” panel. Attendees received makeovers and tried out the Beyond Perfecting Foundation + Concealer, enjoyed drinks and had new headshots taken before sitting down to get inspired by our panelists.

Joining C&C founder Jaclyn Johnson on panel were an awesome array of women in the beauty space in Miami.

Annie Vazquez, is a fashion, travel and beauty expert and journalist who has been coined as one of the pioneers of Miami’s fashion blogging community.  She is the founder of The Fashion Poet and was voted Miami’s Top Fashion Blog by the New York Times.

But that doesn’t mean that she went into the her career fully confident.

“When I first started, I was a journalist,” Annie shared on panel. “When I moved over to blogging I asked myself, ‘Do I really want to do this? Do I really want to put myself out there for criticism?’” Her internal answer was, “Let me just do it.”

You learn to do what you want and not worry about who is going to leave you a comment. It’s a business. And even at the end of the day, if this isn’t your business it’s important to have self-love.

Martha Graeff, is a former model, stylist and Womenswear buyer for Harvey Nichols. Fashion and beauty are in her blood.

But she also had to work on building confidence.

“When I was a model,” she shared, “I would go to twenty castings and hear no. There are so many other beautiful girls. And you’re always hearing no. No. No. No. You’re not good enough. That girl has better skin. It’s always rejection. Modeling breaks you. But it also makes you stronger because you deal with rejection constantly. When I stopped modeling and started blogging I felt a hundred kilos off my shoulders.”

When it comes to negative comments online, they all agree that there have to be boundaries. Hugette Montesinos, is the Editor in Chief and Creative Director for DISfunkshion Magazine. She is also a trained life coach and college professor.

“With this mega-digital era, we don’t set boundaries any more,” Hugette shared. “For me, I have to set boundaries with what I consume-- and what I allow into my life, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.” When it comes to social media, the EIC explained, “I’m not going to aimlessly browse. I’m going to connect and share.” She furthered, “You obviously don’t have control over what comes into your inbox or private messages but you do have control over whether you chose to entertain that thought or not. We have so much more power over our thoughts. For me, every time something negative comes it, I’m able to say, ‘I’m not going to entertain this thought and I’m going to bounce it out.”

It’s one of the reasons she started DISfunkshion. “I started the mag because there was nothing out there that I could enjoy and read,” she explained. “The motto and thought-process was to create a movement that looked at beauty from the inside out. Than from the outside in-- which is what culture teaches us.”

photo credit: Jessica Bordner photo

Martha piggybacked on this idea a bit explaining, “We post our best photo on Instagram. We use five different apps before we post it. Maybe we’re not really happy, but we’re smiling.” She says meditation has changed the way she feels about everything-- and before she wakes up and checks her phone, she meditates. ‘It’s really changed the game for me and the way I see other people’s lives.”

“We need to celebrate how we’re born,” Annie added. “And that’s it.”

Daniella Ramirez, is a Miami-based blogger and the founder of Nany’s Klozet. She was born in Caracas, Venezuela, moved to Miami to attend college and hasn’t left! “When I was growing up it was all about perfection,” she said. “I remember being 9 and in my ballet class. My teacher told me, if you’re not skinnier by tomorrow, you’re not dancing.” She says it’s not the same anymore. “If you had told me 12 or 13 year old self that I would be working with brands and having this careers, I would have said, ‘I’m not tall enough for that, or I’m not skinny enough for that.’ But the world is changing and we’re accepting different body types and beauty and it’s what we should continue to do.”

“It’s also super important for us to normalize, ‘normal,’” Hugette added, to the nods of everyone on panel.

How do you feel about beauty? And how do your beauty and confidence line up? Share in the comments below!

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What Success & Authenticity Mean to YouTube Star Ingrid Nilsen

In the world of YouTube there are those considered to be “top of their game.” Beauty blogger Ingrid Nilsen is one such name. Her charm and smile are infectious. As is her honesty. "First of all," she says in a recent "July Favorites" upload, "I just have to say that I am on my period." 

“I don’t see myself at the top as much as I see myself as successful,” she tells us when we chat a few weeks later. “Those are two different things for me. I think that my success is rooted in the intention of helping other people and moving in the direction of love. Everything that I do in my life revolves around those two intentions.”

Ingrid has followed that intention from the very beginning of her jump into YouTube. Now 27, she uploaded her first video over seven years ago. It hasn’t always been smooth vlogging. The wwwaves are rough and first videos can be choppy. Ingrid’s first upload has been described as painfully awkward, something that makes her laugh now, but in and of itself is a success, having started video blogging as a way to get over a fear of public speaking.

“That,” she says, “has kept me rooted and has made me feel truly successful. You can have millions of subscribers, you can, numbers wise be at the top, but you can also feel really unhappy being there too. That’s why I don’t equate being at the top with my success. I felt really successful from the beginning.”

“Reflecting on that, recognizing and accepting that,” she says of the initial video, “will carry you through difficult times you’re bound to encounter.”

She’s had her share. She first got into makeup to deal with the passing of her father. It became a way to express what was happening inside of her. “Experimenting with makeup was a way for me to navigate my grief from losing my father when I was a teenager,” she says. It’s also why she doesn’t agree with the idea that you can’t be a makeup blogger and authentic.  “I think behind every person wearing mascara, lipstick, foundation… is a story that’s waiting to be told.”

"I don’t equate being at the top with my success. I felt really successful from the beginning.”

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“I talk a lot about being comfortable with yourself,” she says when we talk beauty standards and authenticity. She comes up against a fairly standard argument, those who say that the two are mutually exclusive. “I think beauty standards in general are harsh and I wish our standards were simply acceptance and love-- the world would look very different, but people think makeup is used as a mask,” she says, “and it can be. But for so many makeup is used as a tool to navigate something internal. And if this is the tool that helps someone navigate something inside of themselves, let them have it. Let them have this outlet. It’s so important.”

She does acknowledge that there is much more pressure for young girls. "There is definitely a lot more," she says, "because there’s more information and access,”  

"When you become completely consumed by these images-- which, is not to put anyone consuming the content at fault because there is just so much and you come across it without even trying to look for it-- it has an effect on young people. It makes them feel like life is a competition and love is a competition, and that beauty is a competition. It’s not. I think that digging into and trying to find a deeper awareness of yourself is really important to navigate this world we live in. This stuff,” she adds, “isn’t going to go away.”

Though she's a "beauty" blogger, dishing on winged eyeliner and lipstick hacks, Ingrid feels "the most beautiful when I’m crying." She tells us. "I may not feel that way the entire time, but I'll remind myself, this is the moment when I feel the most beautiful because I’m completely exposed.”

“Everyday, whether it’s a good day or a bad day I look in the mirror and see myself. I’m not always thrilled, but I see myself , I'm grateful for that. That has not always been the case.”

Still from "Something I Want You to Know."

In her coming out video titled, “Something I Want You to Know,” Ingrid told her subscribers the she was gay. The video has over 15 million views to date. "I'm gay," she tells the camera, laughing and crying, "it feels so good to say that." 

Though it felt “natural and important" to her, it was also "a big step in bringing my audience closer and letting them in. I didn’t want to hide. I didn’t want to shut them out."

"YouTube has been a space where people can be themselves, and be themselves in whatever light that is that day and receive acceptance," she says. "I think that’s why it’s why it’s so accepting of the LGBQT community. It’s rooted in authenticity and acceptance at its core."

Receiving acceptance is a huge part of why she keeps doing the work and sharing herself with the world. “I give a lot, but I also receive so much from the people I meet and the comments I receive online. I am fueled by the people in my community who care and accept me.” 

Even with success she’s not immune to impostor syndrome. “I’ve felt this so many times, but those feelings are coming from a place of fear. Everything I have and love in my life right now are all things that once completely terrified me. So I think the way I work through those feelings of, ‘I have no idea what I’m doing’ or ‘why are people following me?’ stems from my willingness to surrender to my mediocrity. I’m not going to be good at everything. Getting to that level of humility takes work."

“A lot of times of what you really want is on the other side of fear,” she notes. You have to go straight through, there’s no shortcut.

"I am fueled by the people in my community who care and accept me.” 

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When it comes to her work, she's found, not a shortcut, but a bit more balance. In the beginning she was shooting, editing, and posting the same day-- a grind that wore her fine. “When you’re doing that for years,” she says, “it can really take a toll on your general well being.” Now she does a quarterly brainstorm with Eileen, who manages her day-today. They "brain dump" ideas and then really hone in on the forthcoming season, events, and holidays.  When possible she likes to shoot a month in advance.

“I think that there is always a balance,” she says about creating content. “Content that your audience wants but doesn’t require you to lose your authenticity. There’s always a sweet spot and I try to find that sweet spot."

She was “a lot more stressed out,” in the beginning. “I was pumping out as much content as I could, whenever I could, and the turnaround was much faster.” But she knows that the work she put in at the start, what she calls an “I will not stop mentality,” is what got her where she is today. “Having the experience of a one-day turnaround was essential to my growth.” 

Today she is committed to being her most authentic self. "You have to know where you stand and what you feel comfortable with." So how does Ingrid know what she’s comfortable with? “Sometimes what I’m comfortable with is being uncomfortable," she says, "especially if it means that I’m moving in the direction of emotional bravery."

She doesn’t know exactly what’s in her future, but she does know that "it will be exciting." She credits this to moving "in the direction of truth and helping other people. I would love to figure out a way to make something that’s tangible-- a product, book, or something that I can put into people’s hands and have them feel the energy that I put into my work and my life every single day.”

Ingrid will be joining us on panel at #CreateCultivateATL-- there are just a couple of ticket left!

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