Doing Too Much Led To Work Exhaustion- Here's How I Bounced Back
As an entrepreneur, it’s easy to feel like you need to be doing it all, and all the time. However, this mindset has the potential to put you on the fast track to work exhaustion- aka burnout!
If you’re currently in the midst of burnout or feel like you’re on your way there yourself, know that there's hope for recovery and avoidance altogether. We spoke with 15, high-achieving women who’ve experienced burnout as a result of doing too much all at once. Luckily for them (and for you), they’ve since bounced back by implementing more sustainable strategies to ensure they are thriving both personally and professionally.
You are capable of doing a lot, but you don’t always have to be doing everything. Take the advice from these successful entrepreneurs.
Katie Ward
Owner of Katie Ward Photography, a brand, editorial, and portrait photographer based in NYC and the Hamptons.
My experience: I experienced severe burnout at the end of 2021. I am the primary parent and primary earner in my household and I had been exclusively pumping for a baby, spending three hours a day driving my older child to and from school, as well as working more than full-time. I ended up having to dip into savings to take two months off to get back to baseline, sleep, and figure out my priorities. The biggest strategy I employed was to significantly raise the prices of my offerings. Doing so enabled me to work 25 to 50 percent less, while still being able to support my family both financially and emotionally.
My advice: Sometimes there is no avoiding burnout, especially with the unrealistic expectations that society has placed on everyone, but more specifically on working moms. But there are tools we can use to get through it. Focusing on getting enough sleep, eating regularly, and finally getting a therapist who I felt comfortable opening up to helped me a lot.
Ashita Shah
CEO of Arunashi, a combined 11th-generation fine jewelry atelier that specializes in rare and one-a-kind gemstones.
My experience: Burnout is real. With kids and an active social life with work dinners and friends, it was like the hamster wheel with no end in sight. Outsourcing and hiring a good reliable team for me was worth the weight in gold, from managing life at work to managing the home and the kids. Time management and planning have also been extremely helpful. With a monthly brain dump and a short daily list of goals, it allows me to get to the finish line in smaller chunks versus being overwhelmed by it all.
My advice: Hire. I can't tell you how much sanity and peace of mind this will bring to you. Hire to manage all the things you can't do—from filing papers, to creating and managing schedules for home and personal life, to answering general emails—so you can focus truly on what you can do. Hiring a few great individuals is all it takes to stay ahead of the curve and not feel like you are gasping for air.
Dorothy Kolb
Founder and CEO of dk east associates, providing clients with customized business strategies, financial confidence, and a curated network of professionals, experts, and allies.
My experience: Because I'm in the service space as a fractional CFO, I'm always working for others. I pride myself on my bespoke offerings but it has also, on occasion, left me feeling unsupported, tapped out, and burnt. As a single mom of four, I also need to be fully myself for my sons. Burnout has manifested itself in me feeling empty, crushed, and useless. I have built up a network of colleagues, experts, and allies who I can rely on not only for referrals but for help. Referring along parts of work not only allows me to source the best for my clients but allows me to take a break knowing my clients are in amazing hands.
My advice: It's so important to have a bunch of resources. Now and then you just need to refer out some work to someone you fully trust so that you can regroup. Trust me, it pays itself back in multiples.
Rossalvi Marte
Founder and CEO of Marte & Co., a consulting agency specializing in business marketing and branding for personal and lifestyle brands.
My experience: The first time I experienced burnout was in my corporate career. This was a mental burnout since I’m a mom of two toddlers and I did not have time for anything after work. I would bathe and feed my kids quickly so that they could be in bed as soon as possible. After starting my business, I experienced burnout again because I said yes too many times when I should have said no. What helped me the most was working with a naturopathic doctor and life coach at the same time. Making time for self-care is also now a non-negotiable for me.
My advice: Spend time thinking about what drains your energy and what boundaries you need to start implementing in your life today. Block time on the calendar for true self-care and commit to it.
Mellinda Abbott
CPA at Abbott and Company LLC, a boutique accounting firm working alongside successful entrepreneurs to ensure their growth and success.
My experience: I would say I was a member of the “I can do it all” club until my late 40s when divorce and a health scare forced me to stop and evaluate. I learned to be sure that each day I focus on the things that are meaningful to me—the ones that put a smile on my face and feel good.
My advice: Pause, sit with yourself, and identify what is important to you. If you are not healthy and happy, no one else in your life will be either.
Shay Paresh
Founder and CEO of SHAYDE BEAUTY, a skincare line made with melanin in mind.
My experience: I’ve had several burnout moments throughout my career because I overextended myself. It’s important to re-evaluate your priorities and learn to set boundaries. Learn to say “no” more often. Saying no allows you to say “yes” to the commitments you want to make!
My advice: Set aside time to disconnect and participate in an activity you truly enjoy, such as attending your favorite workout class or connecting with a community that is personally meaningful to you. It’s vital to surround yourself with the right people, personally and professionally.
Ashley Rector
Founder of Laura Alexandria Marketing, a female-powered social media micro-agency working with venture-backed businesses to expand their reach on social media.
My experience: Burnout is very real and very scary. I was a practicing attorney for several years while simultaneously running a side hustle focused on building authentic communities. I thought I could do it all and that I had no boundaries. I hit a breaking point where I mentally collapsed and couldn't handle it anymore. I had to take a step back, identify the things that brought me joy, and evaluate how I was spending my time on a day-to-day basis.
My advice: We are a sum of all of our small actions. When you start to skip things that fill up your bucket here and there, you don't realize that those actions of putting yourself last add up tremendously. So don't skip the morning indulgent coffee, the 10 minutes in the park with sunshine on your face, or the manicure.
Carlye Morgan
Founder and CEO of Chalonne, creating luxury Apple Watch bands for women, hand-crafted in France with the finest leathers, gemstones, and solid gold.
My experience: Growing up, I was told that women could have it all—they could have a career and a family and life could be wonderful. But in reality, I found that balancing a career and a family was incredibly challenging. Around the time my daughter was four years old, the long hours, stress, and politics at my corporate job began to take a toll on me emotionally and physically. Since many factors in my work environment were completely out of my control, I decided to take control of my own destiny and walk away, which was one of the hardest decisions of my life. But once the weight of my stressful job was lifted, I was able to get back to myself and reinvent my career on my own terms as an entrepreneur. Granted, it was a very risky thing to do. But sometimes, you have to take a great risk to get a great reward. I have not regretted it for a moment and in hindsight, I just wish I had done it sooner!
My advice: It’s incredibly hard to do the same thing for many years, feeling like a hamster on a wheel. I would recommend attempting to make a lateral move to a different position within your company. I did that successfully for years and it helped keep things fresh and interesting.
Belma McCaffrey
CEO of Work Bigger, a career coaching platform for high achievers who want to find their purpose.
My experience: One of my most significant burnout experiences happened when I was working full-time at the largest news organization in the world. At the same time, I had my first son and was working to launch my first coaching business. I was trying to "have it all"—the success, the family, and the business. I didn't know it at the time, but my self-worth was based on my level of success and achievement. It was this harmful belief that led to my burnout. My No. 1 strategy was to take a pause and rest, and work on my self-worth and my confidence.
My advice: Understand where your burnout is coming from. One place to start is by identifying your emotional triggers. Emotional triggers are events or experiences that trigger a negative emotional response. These can show you what you need to heal so that you can learn to work from a healthier place. You can learn to set boundaries and say no, which is critical for getting your power back.
Jenna Sereni
CEO and Founder of HandsDown, the shopping platform built for communities and friends.
My experience: Burnout is so very real, and especially as a parent and a founder, there is so much to juggle in the pressure cooker that is this career. That said, after 15 years I think I’ve finally unlocked my escape when it comes to burnout. If you’re going to be taking on a big job, an exceptional challenge at work, or a new project, first check in with yourself and think about the balance you’ve been able to create as it relates to your personal self-care. What brings you peace? What makes you feel at ease? For me, it’s a 30-minute daily morning workout, short meditation, and monthly mani-pedi. My No. 1 priority when setting up my day, my travel schedule, and my personal vacation schedule? It all revolves around my self-care needs. Because ultimately, if I don’t take care of myself, we’re at risk of it all unraveling.
My advice: Find what brings you peace and makes you feel at ease, and make that a priority. I promise, carving out that small amount of time will be worth the effort in setting up the habit. Two helpful resources are Think Like a Monk by Jay Shetty and Atomic Habits by James Clear. Read these two books and you’ll be on your way to a lifestyle that prioritizes your personal health, setting you up to crush it in your professional one.
Michelle Glauser
Founder and CEO of Techtonica, a nonprofit that helps women and non-binary adults with low incomes overcome barriers to entering tech careers.
My experience: As someone who founded an intensive tech education nonprofit and managed it while working another full-time job, I have both personally been affected by burnout and advised many people dealing with it. Even during the toughest times, I make sure to get enough sleep and regular exercise, because no combination of other things can make up for the foundation sleep and exercise provide. I also found that identifying the feelings I have and sharing them—whether with a friend or in my journal—helps me process and move on. When you care so much about the work you do, you have to remember that your value isn’t defined by your level of productivity. Be intentional, consistent, and unapologetic about taking time to recharge.
My advice: When you feel the most overwhelmed and in danger of complete burnout, it usually feels like the worst time to take a break, but it’s the most essential time to take a break. I recommend everyone use a trauma-informed tool we recently implemented at Techtonica called a WRAP, or Wellness Recovery Action Plan—create, share, and stick to a personal doc that lists what you will do regularly to maintain wellness, what triggers a stress response for you, signs that you are overwhelmed, and what you will do to recover.
Felicia Kashevaroff
CEO of Tend Task, a newly imagined tool for household organization.
My experience: My experience with burnout came during my years as a stay-at-home mom. Since I wasn't "working," I felt compelled to prove my worth by joining every committee and acting as room mom for all three of my children's classrooms. I planned fundraisers and sat on nonprofit boards—important work, but did I need to do it all? My partner couldn't understand that these responsibilities, combined with the mental load I was carrying at home, were simply too much. Ultimately, his refusal to value my time and contributions forced me to do it myself. I learned to say no more often and started exploring the meaning of equitable partnership.
My advice: My most meaningful advice is to value your time. It's your most precious resource. Say no without guilt and call on your friends, family, and your partner if you have one to support you when you feel burned out, or feel burnout approaching.
Emily McDonald
Co-Founder of My Founder Circle, a community for early-stage female founders to help them launch and scale their companies.
My experience: I faced major burnout with my first start-up, The Stylist LA. I was working more than 80 hours per week, raising investment, and ran a large team. I always put myself last. These factors resulted in massive burnout. I realized I needed to put my needs first. I needed to prioritize sleep, exercise, and healthy eating, which in turn made my work even better. Working 80-hour weeks wasn't helpful in the long run, even though it felt like it at the time. Putting myself and my mental health first is ultimately so much more productive for my business.
My advice: Remember to give yourself grace. Find a confidante, a therapist, or a business coach who you can be 100 percent honest with. Open up to them about how you are feeling and have them assist with strategies to get through it. Take a step back and give yourself space from the office, from your work, or whatever you may need. Try and move your body, get some sleep, and put your phone down. All of these things help when going through burnout––but they also help in avoiding burnout. Remember: there is so much more to life than work, even though it's hard to see when you are in it.
Marika Adamopoulos
Founder of Marika Creative, an agency specializing in stunning visual experiences, boldly and strategically supporting global businesses to increase their revenue.
My experience: As both a creative and an entrepreneur, it shouldn’t come as a surprise that burnout is a familiar place for me. Especially when I was first getting my business off the ground, I was working eight days a week, 57 hours a day. I didn’t take a true vacation for three years, and, at one point, I was taking on up to 20 photo projects a month. This pattern and the stress it induced led to some pretty significant health challenges, bringing me to a place where I was forced to make some changes.
My advice: Schedule your rest time and plan all your work-related tasks around your non-negotiable “you time.” Burnout is fairly easy to avoid if you set up a structure in your days, weeks, months, and years where you create the time you need to work through internal battles, lay on the couch and do nothing, lift at the gym, or whatever you need. As someone who’s experienced burnout many times, a big piece of overcoming it is realizing that it is okay to step away from your work, and to realize that you’ll be more successful and productive if you do step away for a time. Talking this through with a coach, therapist, or strong friend to help you get to that understanding internally can be really useful, and can then get you to the place you need to develop the rituals that will work best for you.
Katherine Sprung
Founder of Sprung On Food, a series highlighting food and beverage companies and featuring food conversations with musicians and public figures.
My experience: I've owned and operated Squish Marshmallows, a small-batch artisanal marshmallow and confections company, for eight years. When you're a sole owner of a bootstrapped business, you wear an incredible amount of hats, and you're working non-stop. After seven years of running the business, five of which I ran a brick-and-mortar retail shop with pop-ups and satellite locations, I was burning out quickly, especially going through the height of the pandemic. For me, the best way to give myself the freedom I needed and not completely run myself down, was to not renew my lease and close my brick and mortar, basically changing the model of my business.
My advice: Evaluate what you're doing, and where you're putting your time. For so long we've been told to "hustle," "no days off," and "sleep when you're dead." Those are all the things that are burning us out. My favorite mantra has always been to be the tortoise, not the hare. If you're driving yourself full force, not stopping, you're not only going to crash and burn, you're going to miss out on life. We often think that the business that we're in, or building, is the only thing that's happening and unless we're only sleeping three hours a night and working around the clock, nothing will get done. Sure, we could all use more hours in a day, but what we need to do is shift our mindset and give ourselves more grace. Slow down, work hard, but allow yourself room to breathe and live outside of your work.
About the author: Gesche Haas is the Founder/CEO of Dreamers & Doers, a private collective that amplifies the entrepreneurial pursuits of extraordinary women through thought leadership opportunities, authentic connection, and access. Gesche's been featured on Bloomberg TV, CNNMoney, The New York Times, Huffington Post, Business Insider, Forbes, Fortune Magazine, Refinery29, Broadly/Vice, and other major media outlets, as well as at the United Nations, where she spoke during the sixtieth session of the Commission on the Status of Women.
4 Ways to Prevent Work Burnout
Don’t crash and burn.
Photo: Polina Zimmerman for Pexels
Free time is costing us more than it seems. Drake knows. And so do we.
In part, this is because all of our illusory free time has been sucked into the vacuum that is the all-encompassing work life. 24/7 availability is the norm. You aren't taking a mental health day because your car-peer (AKA your career peer) hasn't taken a single sick or vacation day. And you're answering emails from the time you wake up to the time you go to sleep. But no one, not even your boss, is immune to burnout.
So if you're smiling on the outside, crying on the inside, we feel you, and we don't want you to get to that point. We know the usual steps to avoiding burnout (grab a coffee and go for a walk around the block, make sure to fit in a workout, and take your lunch breaks), but there has to be something more, right? There is.
Here are four ways to keep your mind healthy in the midst of the career grind.
1. Identify What You Need From Your Career
We have various needs when it comes to work. There are some employees that excel in high-pressure situations. Others need a much more consistent day to day. However, six virtues have been identified as important to keeping our headspace happy at work:
You can be yourself. Enough said.
You’re told what’s really going on. Transparency within the workplace makes you feel like you belong and matter to the company. You want to feel like you're an important
Your strengths are magnified. If you're constantly being told what you're doing wrong, without doing tasks or being given the option to show your strengths, you're going to feel like a failure all the time. And your star is going to burnout when it enters the work atmosphere.
The company stands for something meaningful—to you. Think about what is meaningful to you. It matters when you hit the hay if you feel like this next point…
Your daily work is rewarding. Feeling discouraged day in and day out is one of the biggest contributors to burnout.
Stupid rules don’t exist.
2. Focus on the Rule of Three
To-do lists are as never-ending as the stream of information. If you feel the heat of burnout on your back, narrow your focus. At the beginning of the day, aside from your to-do list, write down three things that you want to accomplish before the moon takes its spot overhead. When you set small challenges that are within reason, you will feel purpose heading into the following day instead of discouragement.
Aristotle wrote about the rule of three in his book Rhetoric. To simply the concept, the philosopher said that people tend to more easily remember things grouped by threes and that threes are funnier, more satisfying, and more effective. It's a writing rule that you can apply to work.
3. Switch Up the Order of Your Day-to-Day
We get into the habit of answering emails in the morning, brainstorming in the afternoon, and taking meetings in between. The monotony of doing the same thing can wear on the mind. If you think of your brain like your body, you know that you have to switch up exercise routines to see a difference and avoid adaptation. Your brain is the same, and if you want to get out of a creative rut, or move away from the burnout cliff, make simple switches that workout different parts of your brain at different parts of the day.
Brainstorm creative ideas in the morning. Creative thinking is facilitated by the interaction between the left and right interior frontal gyri.
Answer emails around 11 and give your temporal lobe a workout. The temporal lobe is the part of the brain that controls reading and visual recognition.
4. Take a Break From Tech
I think about Don Draper a lot. And not because I have a thing for Jon Hamm or want to drink at work. Rather, I think about the days he spent sitting in his office, brainstorming ideas, his imagination unrestricted and unfettered by tech.
When I find myself stumped, I'll scroll Instagram. Mistake. This usually makes the problem I'm stumbling over worse, I get more frustrated and less able to concentrate. If you feel like you've landed in the same brain-melting position, it's time to do what I call "the Draper."
It's kind of like work meditation. Turn off tech. Hone in on that beautiful brain of yours and don't get distracted by the pinging and the dinging.
This story was originally published on April 19, 2019, and has since been updated.
MORE ON THE BLOG
4 Accomplished Women Share Their Secret Weapon for Supercharged Immunity
Zero hype, just honest herbal wellness customized for your life.
We live in an age where workplace burnout is now officially recognized as an “occupational phenomenon” and anxiety is at an all-time high. As the work/life pendulum swings out of balance during these uncertain times, people are searching for answers in a bid to restore a sense of calm and focus.
That’s where Mab & Stoke comes in with their simple but powerful mission: to make people feel their most amazing selves. And they’re doing just that with their made-to-order, customized herbal super tabs that are putting wellness back into our hands, literally. But this isn’t just another supplement selling empty promises. Their team of artists, explorers, scientists, and makers are done with waste, hype, and bad practices. They want results so they reinvented herbal wellness for modern life. Isn’t it time someone took the guesswork and grind out of amplifying wellness?
So what is it exactly? Well, these individually prepared herbal super tabs are created from a specially-selected blend of potent herbal extracts, including everything from Ashwagandha to Asian Ginseng, Elderberry and Lion’s Mane, Reishi, and more. You simply dissolve one in water, tea, juice, or a cocktail (if that’s your jam) either morning or night, or whenever you need a pick-me-up. To find a Mab Tab made for you, fill out their quick quiz and their herbal experts will get to work crafting your new BFF.
To learn more, we tapped several influential women who have been using the herbal super tab to hear their perspective on the super tab, how it’s positively impacted their health, and their daily self-care and wellness practice to maintain calm and balance.
Separate from their unique custom blends, Mab & Stoke just launched two new Readymade Mab Tabs today—Calm and Immunity—so keep reading to the end to learn more and add to cart for supercharged health.
“
Do what your body is showing you it needs to feel complete—that’s a practice I do daily.”
Photo: Alex Palombo
On her morning routine…
The latest iteration of my morning routine, amidst the new normal of social distancing in the face of the coronavirus pandemic, is certainly different. I’m prioritizing my internal health as much as I have historically placed importance on my physical health and strength. It’s no longer enough to just hit the gym. I want to make sure my immune system is as strong and sound as possible. I’ve started using Mab Tabs with a dash of honey as my morning drink in place of coffee, then I work out outside with my TRX and battle ropes while following the Be Exceptional Fitness virtual training program, and then I get to work for the day.
Many of my clients are rethinking what brand innovation means to them in this climate and are realizing there needs to be a focused effort on business continuity and strategy to prepare for the unknown which means lots of sedentary time that I’m not accustomed to. My time is currently spent drafting and stress-testing crisis response scenarios. Working remotely means even more conference calls and video chats and lots of time at the computer, so I try to make sure to end my evening with essential oils and a little mediation practice to reset and calm my energy.
On dealing with stress…
My tips for avoiding burnout at work are to have and promote open lines of communication, clear expectations, delegate to the most capable and always inspire transparency. In that scenario, it’s hard to be unhappy unless you’re not adhering to the principles you’ve set for others. So much of burnout is a misalignment of expectations and an underestimate of bandwidth. I try my best to avoid doing either. As long as I’m happy and healthy, I have no stress.
On her self-care practice…
Self-care to me is synonymous with self-love. Self-care is an active exercise of replenishing and nourishing the parts of your mind, body, and soul as needed. Sometimes it’s a massage, other times it’s a therapeutic chat about life, or you're doing something to fortify an area where you feel weak. Do what your body is showing you it needs to feel complete—that’s a practice I do daily. My self-care routine keeps me feeling consistent with myself so that I can show up consistently for others.
On her top confidence-boosting tips…
Trust your intuition, know if you’re there you belong, and always know that you can create #ThePathRedefined on your life because you’re in control.
On how Mab & Stoke has positively impacted her health…
I’ve recently started using Mab and Stoke’s Mab Tabs as a daily supplement in addition to my vitamins. It’s easy to implement into my daily routine and comes packed with the natural ingredients to give me a homeopathic approach to Immunity support and better living.
On her favorite drink to drop a Mab Tab in…
Hot water and honey!
On her one piece of wellness advice…
Stay active so you can #BeExceptional!
“
After spending 20 years in the corporate world, I found myself completely burned out… Turns out, self-care is a secret weapon.”
—Melanie Whelan
On her morning routine…
I set my alarm for 6 A.M. every morning. My 10-year-old son typically beats me out of bed so I need a few minutes of quiet before we leap into the day. I try to start each morning with a 10-minute meditation on my Calm App which I love. I keep clear quartz in my bathroom for manifestation and intention. It's next to my Sonicare toothbrush and I use my two minutes of teeth brushing to set my intentions for the day. I then head out to our kitchen to make breakfast for my kids before we leave the house by 7 A.M. I believe if you win breakfast, you win the day.
While my kids get ready, I drink my three favorites—cold brew iced coffee, seltzer with a splash of lime and my Mab Tab custom herbal tea. I started my Mab Tab routine a few months ago—it's a personally-formulated herbal super tab of highly concentrated, premium quality herbs that dissolves easily in water—and I love it.
On dealing with stress…
I've recently recommitted to a few habits to combat stress. First, I've always believed in the power of exercise to release endorphins and increase energy. I've recently fallen in love with [solidcore]. It's a pilates-inspired, reformer-based group workout in my neighborhood. I also weight train and run—I love it all. Secondly, the power of meditation and positive thinking is real. I try to take 10 minutes out of my day, twice a day, to meditate and clear my head. It's been transformative.
Finally, I read a few years ago that looking at pictures of your kids, releases endorphins and creates happiness. I like to flip through my camera roll multiple times/day and surround myself with family photos in my office. I post pics of my kids far too often on my Instagram but they make me laugh.
On her self-care practice…
After spending 20 years in the corporate world, I found myself completely burned out. I didn't prioritize myself at all, claiming that I was strong enough to power through anything. It turns out that self-care is a secret weapon. Research suggests that when you prioritize your own well-being, you make better decisions, build stronger relationships and are more productive.
Over the past few months, I've shifted my priorities so that I'm making deliberate time and space for myself. Activities like meditation, consistent workouts, putting away my phone by 7 P.M. each day, reading fiction, learning something new (right now I'm studying the foundations of Judaism in our local community center) all add up to a productive self-care routine.
On how a self-care routine plays a role in how she feels about herself…
When I make time and space for myself, I'm more attuned to how I'm feeling. I know when I need a break and when I'm ready to rock. It makes me be a better mother, wife, leader, decision-maker, and friend. You should ask my kids!
On her top three confidence-boosting tips…
Exercise. I can't say enough how good the endorphins make you feel.
Make great skincare choices. I drink a ton of water (I know where most restrooms are in my neighborhood!) and recently discovered a brand called Cocokind, a certified organic and socially conscious skincare line all based on virgin coconut oil. My skin has never felt better which makes me smile more confidently.
Intention setting. Before you go into any meeting, negotiation or conversation, set an intention for your goals and outcomes. When you're clear on your own expectations, you enter any setting more confident and more likely to achieve your desired outcome.
On how Mab & Stoke has positively impacted her health…
Mab & Stoke is my personal herbalist. My custom formulation is designed for me, my goals and my lifestyle. I trust Christina's deep knowledge of herbs and formulation. I love her passion for creating effective and personal products and the subscription makes it so easy.
On her favorite drink to drop a Mab Tab in…
I love that you can pop a Mab Tab into almost any beverage, hot or cold but I prefer my Tab in hot water. It creates a beautiful herbal tea. I love the morning ritual of warm herbal tea.
On her one piece of wellness advice…
You have one life. Live it intentionally, set goals for who you want to be, what you want to accomplish and what's most important to you. Practice them daily.
“
Do your best to turn inward and listen to your body.”
—Ali Bonar
On her morning routine…
I consider myself part “morning routine aficionado” and part “slug coffee while sprinting out the door” (#balance, ya know?) There are weeks where I’m on my morning routine game, and weeks where it’s a blessing to remember to remove my retainer before heading out the door. No matter if I have an hour to get ready, or just five minutes, some non-negotiables for me are: warm bevvy (particularly Mab & Stoke with a squeeze of lemon), puppy cuddles (and boyfriend, if he’s lucky), and a quick stretch.
On dealing with stress…
I run my own business, so I’ve become comfortable with the fact that stressful moments are bound to crop up but I’ve definitely learned better coping strategies to deal with them. I’m a recent convert to the world of breathwork, and it’s been *life-changing* for me. I also have a slight obsession with Andy from Headspace (#marryme), and I try to squeeze it in as much as I can, even if it’s only five minutes.
On her self-care practice…
I used to think self-care was just bubble baths and pedicures, and sometimes it is, but I’ve come to realize that it can be much simpler than that—a few intentional breaths alone in my car after a long day, or having a night to myself with Netflix and snacks, or getting creative in the kitchen is also top of my list when it comes to self-care.
On how a self-care routine plays a role in how she feels about herself…
It’s massively important. I struggled with an eating disorder for over 10 years, and through lots of inner work/therapy, realized that I often turned to food (or restricted food) in times where I just needed a bit of self-care. There are weeks where I need a bit more self-care and weeks where I’m coasting. I’m learning to give myself grace and not judge why I might need a bit more during certain periods than others.
On her top three confidence-boosting tips…
Buy clothes that fit you. Don’t worry about the size on the tag. I tried for too long to fit into a smaller size and ended up feeling uncomfortable and self-conscious. My mama always told me: you look good when you’re comfortable.
Take time to love yourself, girl! Take yourself on a solo dinner date, book yourself a massage, go for a hike in nature without your phone (gasp, I know! I believe in you). Investing the time in yourself goes a long way in how you feel in your body.
Surround yourself with people who lift you up. You know the type—someone who leaves you feeling electric after seeing them. They support you and genuinely want to see you succeed. The older I get, the smaller my circle of friends becomes. Quality over quantity, kweens.
On how Mab & Stoke has positively impacted her health…
The personalization of Mab & Stoke really appealed to me. In a world where we’re all looking for a “magic pill,” I think it’s important to realize that we’re all so different and require different supplements at different phases of our lives. I’m pretty caffeine-sensitive, so my morning tab is serving me much better than my morning coffee was (sayonara, caffeine crash!) With my mab-tab, I feel alert but calm, centered and focused.
On her favorite drink to drop a Mab Tab in…
I love hot water, squeeze of lemon and a few drops of stevia. It gives me a tangy, sweet drink that gets me going in the morning.
On her one piece of wellness advice…
Do your best to turn inward and listen to your body. I spent too many years wrapped up in outside noise: do this, eat that. I was constantly trying to change my body, forcing it to slave away at the gym and restricting it from vital nutrients to make it smaller… and it came back to bite me (health issues, anxiety, etc). Now, the more I turn inward and honor what my body is telling me, the better I feel.
Kale salads and green juice are great, but tacos and tequila shots with your girlfriends can be just as healthy. It’s important to nourish your body, but even more important to nourish your soul.
“
Water what you want to grow. Focus on the positive, say nice things to yourself. If you reinforce the negative and feelings of inadequacy, that is what will flourish.”
On her morning routine…
It’s so important to, as I like to say, “own your morning” because it sets the tone for the rest of the day. I get up and drink a tall glass of water with lemon to rehydrate. Then invariably, I have coffee. It may be a vice, but I also see it as a ritual—one I’m not planning to give up! Most days, I do intermittent fasting, so I don’t eat breakfast. If I do, it’s usually a combo of greens and eggs, and avo. I’m trained in Transcendental Meditation, but I have fallen off my practice. I really want to get back to that because it enhances everything.
On dealing with stress…
For me, dealing with stress isn’t an acute action or spot treatment. Instead, I try to cultivate a lifestyle that better equips me to deal with on-going stress because it is ever-present these days. That means getting a decent amount of sleep, moving my body, and eating healthfully (most of the time). I recently wrote a book called Sugar Free 3 about ditching added sugars from your diet and doing that has helped everything from my mood to my energy levels to the quality of my sleep.
On her self-care practice…
Self-care takes so many forms and it’s a personal journey for everyone. Some of my favorite forms of self-care are:
Hydrotherapy: Anything to do with water. I find it so healing to be submerged in warm water or to feel the buoyancy and support of water. I am lucky enough to have a beach house with a great free-standing bathtub and a jacuzzi on the roof, so hanging out in one of those places is paradise to me. Swimming in the ocean is pretty awesome too.
Strength Training and Rebounding: My two favorite workouts are training with weights and jumping on a mini-trampoline. I detest cardio, but “rebounding” is a super-effective form of cardio that also feels playful. My friend, Dria Murphy just opened a bouncing studio in NYC called The Ness, where I take classes when I can.
Wine with Friends: There are few things I enjoy more than sharing wine with friends—especially ones who make me laugh. It’s even better if we’re in nature somewhere sitting around a fire pit, but I happily do it crowded around the kitchen counter in my friends’ apartments.
Bodywork: I love a good massage or other forms of bodywork, but when there’s no time for that, a foot rub in the Reflexology Lounge at THE WELL is glorious.
On how a self-care routine plays a role in how she feels about herself…
You know that safety announcement on airplanes: “Put your mask on first before helping others”? Well, I think that’s true in general. You need to feel healthy, whole and strong in order to be a good leader or colleague or partner. Self-care is not selfish—in fact, it’s the opposite.
On her top three confidence-boosting tips…
Engage in observation. We can all feel like imposters at times, but when you look around and really observe people you think are doing well or are “successful” you often see that you are just as competent—if not more—than they are. This isn’t about comparing yourself to feel superior to anyone else; it’s about raising your own awareness that you stack up.
Help someone else. Volunteer to be someone’s mentor or to just lend a hand to someone who needs it—there is always someone less experienced or more in need than you. The gratitude you receive from imparting your skills/talent/gifts—whatever they are—is really powerful and goes a long way toward boosting your own self-worth. It’s a win-win.
Take risks. I say this not only because it’s critical to growth, but also because each time you triumph over a scary situation—or even just survive it—you get a little braver. I’m a big believer in getting comfortable with feeling uncomfortable.
Bonus tip: Water what you want to grow. Focus on the positive, say nice things to yourself. If you reinforce the negative and feelings of inadequacy, that is what will flourish.
On how Mab & Stoke has positively impacted her health…
It’s incredibly overwhelming. I’m a big believer in supplements and more specifically, in the power of herbal medicine. Herbal remedies have been used by many cultures for thousands of years. And though they may not all have clinical data behind them, there is plenty of anecdotal evidence that comes out of this ancient wisdom. I have actually used a medicinal herbalist on and off, but that gets incredibly expensive and hard to schedule. Mab & Stoke has brilliantly solved for that with customized, easy-to-ingest supplements that are delivered to you. Most important to me is that what I take is efficacious and Mab & Stoke have taken great care to make sure their formulations come in meaningful doses—that is so key.
On her favorite drink to drop a Mab Tab in…
Just water (hot or cold), no mixers. I guess you could say I’m a purist.
Introducing the New Mab & Stoke Readymades
These fast-acting formulas can be taken when you need them—they act fast to enhance immunity or a sense of calm. They don’t need to be taken every day (as with the Custom Mab Tabs) but can be used daily, and in conjunction with custom blends. Mab & Stoke craft and press all Mab Tabs at their FDA-compliant facility in East Hampton, NY.
Given the current climate, the Mab & Stoke team is working as quickly as they can to make as many of these available for the community. They also plant a tree with every order through their partner American Forests.
Read on to learn more about the new Immunity and Calm Readymade Mab Tabs below and start enhancing your health today.
Mab & Stoke Readymade Calm
Readymade Calm is a Mab Tab to help you chill and unwind. It offers baseline immune support (as do all Mab Tabs) but this blend has been specifically designed to tackle stress when it starts to build up and you need help relaxing. It can be taken up to 3x daily on its own or up to 2x if in conjunction with your daily Custom Mab Tab.
$54 (includes 28 Mab Tabs)
Mab & Stoke Readymade Immunity
The immune-focused Readymade Mab Tab is a highly-concentrated blend of all the herbs you need to support a healthy immune system. This Readymade Mab Tab is designed to be taken up to 3x on its own or 2x if taken in conjunction with your daily Custom Mab Tab, at the first sign of illness or when your system needs an extra boost.
$54 (includes 28 Mab Tabs)
For more information on Mab & Stoke, their new Readymade Mab Tabs, or to order your custom Mab Tab, visit mabandstoke.com.
Millennial Burnout Is Real. The Question Is: Do You Have It?
We want to do it all. At what cost?
We want to do it all—but what happens if doing it all drives us to a place where we can't get anything done?
Millennials are not invincible—but we love to tell ourselves we are. I recall multiple occasions when concerned friends and family members warned me, "Careful you don't burn out!" And I recall as many occasions when I just shrugged it off before heading to my next commitment.
For most millennials, it starts in high school when you’re expected to take on countless extracurriculars. College is no breeze, but you get through it with the grades your parents expect and with a smattering of internships you somehow tuck between classes. Your friends are right there with you, juggling it all and joking that “overworked” is the new “normal.”
But then there’s adulthood.
I dove head-first into my first job while handling two apartment moves, a hectic social life, and then—because I wasn’t stressed enough—I took on additional volunteer work. My high school and college self could handle juggling, but I quickly realized I hadn’t accounted for the real world pressures of independence and a competitive work environment.
The trouble with burnout is that it strikes when you least expect it. You're overworked, overstimulated, and striving for excellence in a world that sets the bar high. And as a millennial, you’re setting your own bar even higher.
“The trouble with burnout is that it strikes when you least expect it.”
We know ourselves better than anyone, yet we internalize societal pressures and put aside our needs. We want to strengthen our personal brand, maintain an active social life, all while striving for that sweet work-life balance—when balance means we just sort of never stop working.
We. Are. Tired.
And who can blame us? Fortunately, though, we can change that. Here are signs you’re nearing burnout and some ways to stop it before it happens.
SIGN 1: Someone asks what’s most important in your life and your answer is ‘everything.’
We want to do it all. But what happens if doing it all means sacrificing healthy sleeping and eating habits? Not worth it.
You know the word “prioritize,” but a lot of millennials struggle with the concept. There's so much to do, and in the Digital Age, it feels like everything needs to be done immediately. Ever have someone give you a hard time about not texting them back immediately? I hate to break it to you, but you can’t do it all at the same time. You’ll burn yourself out, guaranteed.
SOLUTION: SLOW DOWN + STREAMLINE
I say it's time to cut some of the dead weight. Start by taking a look at your schedule for the next week. Is there anything you'll be doing that fills you with dread? See if there's a way to maneuver yourself out of it. Our entrepreneurial tendencies mean we often say “yes” to every opportunity. But people will be supportive of your need to take a step back. Be honest about your concerns, say no, then stick to it.
Next, try making a to-do list. It may seem archaic, but listing out what needs to be done per day and then checking those items off your list can give you a great sense of accomplishment. It will also allow you to visualize what’s most important and what can be left for another day.
SIGN 2: You panic if you leave your iPhone (and thus instagram) at home
As millennials, we've been raised with limitless information and countless ways to communicate. We’re encouraged to build our identities on social media, reinforcing our public image with well-edited photos of party going and staged selfies. That’s a lot of pressure, and it’s time consuming. Suddenly, the need to share means we’re permanently plugged into our devices.
SOLUTION: DON'T GIVE IN TO THE PRESSURE OF SOCIAL MEDIA
Remember that you exist in the present and that person is enough. If your work life isn’t contingent on your social presence (meaning you’re not working as a social media marketer), reevaluate your participation on social platforms.
How often are you pulling up Twitter or Instagram to share? Try actually counting how many times a day you open the app. The results might be staggering, but you’ll have to face your problem honestly.
That time can be better spent sleeping, cooking healthy meals, or exercising. Yes, these options may initially seem less appealing (thanks to social media, too many of us have no sense of how to be alone), but they can drastically improve your overall health and energy levels.
Put your phone in another room before you go to bed so you won’t be tempted to check it in the middle of the night or immediately when you wake up.
Consider committing to only checking Instagram (or Twitter or Facebook) once a day.
Disable your push notifications. They’re both tempting and distracting. You’ll be more productive without them.
The next time you plan a fun activity or take a trip, commit to not photographing it. Instead, just focus on enjoying it.
SIGN 3: You know your body needs a quiet night in, but when friends text, you wind up going for yet another night out. that’s five days in a row.
This may seem like an obvious point, but we often forget to take care of ourselves. We get a text from a friend asking to meet for dinner as the workday comes to an end. Instead of heading home to get an early night’s rest, we talk ourselves into meeting for happy hour and feel pressured into the next bar or restaurant down the street.
SOLUTION: MANAGE EXPECTATIONS AND PRACTICE SAYING “NO”
It’s difficult to tell your friend no because you want to sleep. Chances are, they’ll put on the pressure and make a few jokes at your expense. But that extra time for self-care is crucial to avoid burnout. You will miss many more happy hours if you’re completely exhausted, depressed, stressed, or even physically ill. As hard as it may be to make time for it, self-care is crucial.
If you’re like most millennials, you may need to actually schedule your nights in so you don’t make plans on top of them. Put them on your calendar and stick to them.
Consider limiting drinking to weekends. Late nights are exhausting, but you’ll only feel more run-down if you’re dehydrated and hungover.
For the friends who tend to pressure, make advanced plans and offer them the specific days you’re available. Then they won’t expect you to text on the nights you’re not.
Single? Delete your dating apps. If you’re feeling frantic and exhausted, you’re not going to be your interesting self anyway. Make your self-care your priority until things calm down. Trust us, Tinder will be there when you get back.
Whether you’re on the cusp or already drowning in a pool of burnout, it’s never too late to take your life into your hands. Reflect on how you got to where you are, cut yourself some slack, then use our tips to get back on track. As millennials, we hate the thought but: sometimes we need to take a step back to move forward.
Do you think millennial burnout is a real thing? Why or why not? Chime in below.
An original version of this article appeared on Career Contessa.