Follow Your Dreams, Err No, Your Gut—and Other Clichés of Success We Need to Ditch
Reality check this way.
Photo: Smith House Photo
Chances are you’ve heard one of the following clichés at one point in your life when seeking out career advice: “If you can dream it, you can achieve it;” “Pursue your passion;” Work hard, dream big;” and “Follow your dreams.”
It might have been at your high school or college graduation, or at a conference from a motivational speaker. You may have seen it emblazoned on the front of a greeting card to commemorate one of your life accomplishments, or on Instagram where the post has garnered thousands of likes and reposts.
They are clichés intended to make us feel inspired to go for the next big thing, a reminder to stay focused on the grand prize of that imaginary picture of success we all have. But how do these clichés work in the real world where things are not as simple and clear-cut?
It is time to get real about what it means to achieve in the real world and move past the clichés. Your success depends on it. Let’s take a look at the most famous clichés rewritten as real-world advice.
If you dream it, you can achieve it adjust accordingly.
It all starts with a dream–the dream college, the dream job, or the dream life. Knowing what you want and being able to imagine it first is essential to achievement. If you can dream it, more than likely you can map out a plan to go after it.
The first step in moving past this cliché is knowing that following your dreams will often involve detours, failures, pitfalls, and disappointments. It often involves dismantling the “master plan” and having to create a new one. It means revisiting who you thought you would be and accepting you might want to be something else.
Know that dreams will change throughout your life and you will be in redrafting mode often. Dreams evolve at the same speed that you are evolving as a person. One minute you can have a dream of owning a house and a car and another minute you are dreaming of traveling the world—and this can be said for all other dreams you may have.
If you can dream it, you will learn that real life will make you adjust accordingly when you begin to face obstacles and setbacks on your journey. When you have an epiphany about that dream job you thought you always wanted or that life you always chased after, you will be faced with going back to the drawing board.
Being able to pivot and draw wisdom from the trials and tribulations is what will make your accomplishments so much more meaningful in the end. Accepting that it won’t be linear is the first step in maintaining your focus on any dream.
Know that in real life, you can continue to dream as you evolve and adjust those dreams to your new realities. It won’t mean you’ve failed in achieving anything, it just means you are accepting you will always be in a state of growth—an essential place to be to make strides in success.
Pursue your passion purpose.
Everyone has a passion. It can range from politics to non-profit work to the arts. Our society has always been enamored with the idea that simply having a passion and focusing solely on that can grant you the key to success. Just pursue what you are passionate about and everything will fall into place, right? Wrong.
We’ve all heard the stories of people who have tried to follow their passions and have had to switch gears in order to make a better living or maintain a family. Just because your day job does not revolve around your life passion does not mean you haven’t unlocked the key to success.
Having a passion in life and being able to make a living off of it is wonderful, but oftentimes that is not the case, especially if you are just starting off in your field. Know that this is okay. The good news is if you cannot pursue your passion to make a living, you can always focus on pursuing your purpose.
You can find your purpose by analyzing some of your passions. Does your passion involve helping others? Does it involve contributing a special skill? What can you take from your passions and make relatable to your current situation? Take a closer look at your passions and you will find there is often a deeper purpose that can translate to any job you may have.
By finding your purpose you will open more doors and possibly find you have more than just your passion, but rather a mission that can carry you through many careers and down many paths in life.
Work hard, dream big then, work harder.
“Work hard, dream big” is one cliché that almost nails it, but in the real world it goes more like this: Work hard, then work harder. Following this revised version is where you will start to see the fruits of your labor.
Finding success at any stage of your life means putting in the extra effort. Going above and beyond the expectations and going the extra mile. When you work harder, you shine brighter.
When you bring your all to a job, you establish yourself and your brand at the top tier level. And in order to maintain this status, you will have to continue to work harder every single time as you raise that bar.
Every step up, you will be required to outdo the last. So, yes, keep dreaming big but know that you will be tasked with working even harder as you inch closer to achieving that dream.
Follow your dreams gut.
As noted earlier, your dreams will evolve. You will change and your notion of what real success means will also change. This brings me to the final cliché reworded for the real world: Follow your gut.
As you move throughout life, do not depend on the dreams you have drafted to be the definitive guide, because they will change over time. Instead, follow your gut as you move through jobs, friends, and life and use it as your compass. It will never fail you. Your inner voice will dictate what direction you are being drawn to and oftentimes there is a good reason for it. It is taking you to a place you belong to.
Learning to trust yourself is the key to achieving success on your own terms. You are the only person who will know what is best for you. You are the one who will determine what true success looks like.
At the end of the day, your life and dreams cannot be captured in a cliché; they are far too complex. Remember to stay agile with your dreams, find your purpose as you analyze your passions, work harder every single time, and follow your gut; this is real-life advice that goes beyond the clichés to help you move closer to what you really want in life.
About the author: Brenda Duran is a writer, communications specialist, and creative. She can be reached at bduran5@yahoo.com and at bduran.com.
This story was originally published on September 18, 2019, and has since been updated.
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How to Marie Kondo Your Career and Enter the Next Decade With a Bang
And go from job to joy.
Photo: Smith House Photography; Design: Ginny Macdonald
There’s not much room for debate. Marie Kondo is the Japanese organizing consultant who is transforming lives everywhere and despite her book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing launching in 2011, Kondo continues to inspire people around the world to get their spaces in order.
In the book, she breaks down her two-pronged approach to cleaning. Step one: Physically touch your belongings, see if said belongings spark a sense of joy, and if they don’t, toss them. Step two: After you’ve done the dirty work and dumped those joyless items, put everything else back in a place where it’s easy to see, grab, and put back again.
It has brought countless people lasting results—to point, none of her customers are repeats. “In this book,” she writes in the Introduction, “I have summed up how to put your space in order in a way that will change your life forever.”
So we wanted to take her home tidying methods and apply them to work. Because WHY NOT? We want to change our relationship to work forever too! If she can work magic in the home, why can’t she work magic at the office?
Here are four KonMari methods that can be applied to your career, too and kick off the new decade with a bang!
KonMari Method Lesson #1: Tackle Categories, Not Rooms
Tidying by category is Kondo’s first rule. She says to start with clothing, then books and move on to items like documents and old photographs later. The reasoning is that things in like-categories tend to be spread throughout your house, not confined to one space.
How to apply this at work: This will be similar to time-batching, or grouping like activities together. Set aside time the morning for email, time mid-morning for conference calls, and time in the afternoon for writing, creative ideas, and brainstorming. Sure, there will be the odd bits of “clutter” that pop-up during the day-- the email that needs a response while you’re in the midst of your creative jive but batching helps you stay focused and on track.
KonMari Method Lesson #2: Picking Up Each Item and Asking, “Does this spark joy?”
For most of us, minimalism isn’t our strong suit. But from those in power suits to tracksuits, everyone can get on board.
In the book, this method is applied in the literal sense to the home. The clothes that are shoved in the back corner of your closet that you need to lose ten pounds to wear. The pile of books you keep meaning to read. Just because you bought it, doesn’t mean you own it. In fact, if it doesn’t bring you joy, it’s owning you.
“Just because you bought it, doesn’t mean you own it. In fact, if it doesn’t bring you joy, it’s owning you.”
How to apply this at work: The most obvious place you can start is your desk. You can apply the same method to stacks of papers, old receipts, empty bottles of Advil, and that half-eaten Snickers stashed in the back for a 2 pm sugar craving. If your desk is surrounded by “joyless” items that you don’t need for work or taxes, toss them.
Next. There are parts of all jobs that are joyless. From the startup founder who hates Quickbooks to the intern who can’t stand the tedium of stuffing gift bags. However, you can apply a minimalist mindset to your work by understanding what each piece of your work puzzle is contributing to the larger picture. There is a nugget of joy in each task. Even if it's just that at some point, it will be over.
If you’re a freelancer (and can afford to turn down jobs, which, we know is not easy) ask yourself if this project or client will bring you joy and if what you’re contributing will bring joy to other people.
KonMari Method Lesson #3: Put the Kibosh on Nostalgia
Many times through the book Kondo talks about nostalgia and hazardous sentimental attachments to our possessions. Whether it’s boxes of old photographs and birthday cards that lead us down a long and windy path of nostalgia and distraction while cleaning, to items we hold onto for no reason—aka your grandmother’s boots you're keeping even though they’re two sizes too small. Talk about a tropical depression. The nostalgia hurricane is real and it's ruling your life. Feeling strongly about stuff is okay but it can also be the enemy of tidy. Kondo says people keep things out of "fear for the future or attachment to the past.”
“Talk about a tropical depression. The nostalgia hurricane is real and it’s ruling your life.”
How to apply this to work: It's not just stuff kids! We have nostalgia and emotional attachment to ideas. So, what should we do to make space for bigger and better creative thoughts? Kill your darlings. That’s right. The creative ideas that keep falling dead in the water. Every single one of us has that “golden” idea that we can’t escape. The one we reposition and bring up in pitch meetings, the one we’re sure is going to hit with ONE client that simply never does. Accept that. Thank the idea for taking up space in your head and let it go.
Also, those notebooks full of half-baked ideas and sparks (ahem duds) of genius you jotted down and have never looked through—toss them. We know you’re saving them for that one time you’re going to need to reference a page scribbled on in 2007 but just say goodbye. If ideas are really that great, they’ll stick around. You don’t need to create a physical library of your own brain.
KonMari Method Lesson #4: Simplifying and Letting Go Feels Good, So GOOD
Yes! Getting rid of clutter and freeing up your home space feels great. You feel lighter, more free, and less emotionally tied to STUFF! When it comes to closets specifically the Marie Kondo method creates space between stuff. Your clothes have SPACE GLORIOUS SPACE to live and breathe! Dressing all of the sudden becomes easier when you can SEE everything! Decision making is easier when you love everything and therefore you become more efficient with your time! Exclamations abound!! (For real, this is happy, joyous stuff.)
How to apply this to work: You don’t have to do anything here! Once you start letting go of the clutter on your desk and in your head, you will free up space for the next steps. You’ll be giving your career the breathing room it needs to expand. It will also help you become more clear on what projects to say yes to, and which projects to turn down.
You’ll feel relief instead of anxiety, joy instead of a job.
What are some ways you can apply this method to work? Share in the comments below!
This post was originally published on September 15, 2016, and has since been updated.
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5 Ways to Be a Strategic Slacker
Chill work fam. Chill.
We've made it. It's Friday. Which means it's almost time to kickoff those boots and stick your toes in the ocean or your nose in a book-- whatever suits your weekend fancy will do.
It's time to slack.
But what about the work week slack? Is it possible to kick your feet up at your desk and STILL be incredibly productive. Perhaps they aren't as at odds as your might think. Here are the 7 magical ways to slack at work and still get shit done. Most employees are only productive four hours a day.
Call it failing upwards.
1. TAKE AN EXTENDED BREAK
Or really, take any break. Chances are that 15 minutes you’re legally allowed twice a day goes unused. You get busy, you get buried. It’s common. But when you’re working that hard your brain stops functioning at optimum output. So take a walk and grab a coffee. (Or bring water along for the jaunt, since dehydration during the workday can also lead to an kaput of creativity.)
Whatever you do, use it. Especially when you’re feeling stuck.
2. SHUT YOUR COMPUTER OFF AND READ
Word to the wise: always bring a book to your office. Sure, powering down your computer and taking a break from responding to emails may feel out of the question, but here’s an important one to ask yourself: when you’ve hit a slump is it better to stay stuck or read yourself out of it? Stand up. Give your spine a stretch and then crack the spine on a book. Seeing words come together in unexpected ways might be the jumpstart your brain needs. It’s not work, but it will work for you.
3. MEDITATE
We’ve all read about the benefits of meditating in the morning or before bed, but meditating in the office can bring clarity, calm your nerves before presentations, and de-stress high impact situations. Stress brings on emotions. Some of which are not beneficial to us in the work environment. Meditating at your desk (or in the storage closet) can help bring clarity and the right kind of emotions to your decision making. For instance, if you’re about to blow your top at a co-worker, take a beat. Meditate. And come into the situation with a clear head. It might look like you’re not doing a thing, but you’re being incredibly productive for you and the company’s well-being.
4. PLAY GAMES ON YOUR PHONE
While we don’t suggest scrolling through the IG during the work day, there are word games and brain games you can play to whip that brain into shape. You could opt for memory, attention, and problem solving apps like Luminosity, or try an app like Happify, that helps you build skills for lasting happiness. And being happy at work directly affects your productivity. So come on, get happy. Play a game or two.
5. DON’T MULTI-TASK
Sometimes it feels like the busier you are, the better you’re working. Untrue! You don’t have to do multiple things at once in order to get things done. Slow down and work on one thing at a time. It might feel like you’re slacking at first, but once you see how quickly you start ticking things off your list, you just might abandon the multi-tasking addiction.
We want to know… how do you do work slack? Share below!
What It's Really Like to Be Fired from Vogue
Not all dreams are dreamy.
The original version of this article appeared on Levo.
Though being an editor at Vogue was pretty much what every heroine in the '90s and early aughts romcoms aspired to do, it may not be all it is cracked up to be. In a new very revealing interview with British Vogue's longtime fashion director Lucinda Chambers, she spoke about her recent firing with annual academic fashion journal Vestoj. And she didn't hold back--so much so, in fact, that the interview had to be temporarily removed from Vestoj's website.
But Chambers should really be commended for being so forthright about what it is like to be suddenly as well as shockingly fired when you are at the top of your career. Though it was announced in May that was she stepping down from her role after 30 years, she told Vestoj that she was in fact fired by British Vogue's new editor in chief, Edward Enninful.
"A month and a half ago I was fired from Vogue. I phoned my lawyer; she asked me what I wanted to do about it. I told her I wanted to write a letter to my colleagues to tell them that Edward [Enninful] decided to let me go. And to say how proud I am to have worked at Vogue for as long as I did, to thank them for being such brilliant colleagues. My lawyer said sure, but don’t tell HR. They wouldn’t have wanted me to send it."
She also got super real about what its like working on editorials that you have absolutely no passion about and very little respect for as they are purely for advertisers.
"You’re not allowed to fail in fashion – especially in this age of social media, when everything is about leading a successful, amazing life. Nobody today is allowed to fail, instead the prospect causes anxiety and terror. But why can’t we celebrate failure? After all, it helps us grow and develop. I’m not ashamed of what happened to me. If my shoots were really crappy… Oh I know they weren’t all good – some were crappy. The June cover with Alexa Chung in a stupid Michael Kors T-shirt is crap. He’s a big advertiser so I knew why I had to do it. I knew it was cheesy when I was doing it, and I did it anyway. Ok, whatever. But there were others… There were others that were great."
While Condé Nast wasn't impressed--the media company released a statement claiming it's "usual for an incoming editor to make some changes to the team"--others took to Twitter to commend Chambers' honesty
As for Chambers, she has a vision for "useful and aspirational" fashion magazines of the future:
"[I]n fashion we are always trying to make people buy something they don’t need. We don’t need any more bags, shirts or shoes. So we cajole, bully or encourage people into continue buying. I know glossy magazines are meant to be aspirational, but why not be both useful and aspirational? That’s the kind of fashion magazine I’d like to see."
Honesty, failure, and useful. Now that would make for an interesting magazine.
photo credit: Puma/Smith House Photography
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3 Ways to Maintain Excellence in the Workplace
Ever heard of a fall resolution?
The words that every eager job seeker yearns to hear amidst ongoing applications and interviews are: You’re hired.
The relief that comes when the human resources department of your desired company calls and informs you that you’ve been selected for the position is positively overwhelming. A megawatt smile stretches its way across your face and you liken your emotions to The Little Engine That Could.
But after dedicating a significant amount of time to the position and mastering the ins and outs of the workplace — and observing the politics of the business — you begin to notice that you are exceeding the expectations of the role and are not being properly compensated for it. Whether the sought after compensation is verbal praise, an increased salary, leniency on hours, or additional gifted days off, your toleration threshold has lowered and the undervalued itch begins to scratch.
Though it can be easy to complain to coworkers, abandon your role and run for the hills of another company, slack off in your position, or unashamedly and inappropriately wear your emotions on your sleeve, none of these quick fixes allow you to nurture one of the most valuable and respected employee traits: character.
As eager and driven employees, our goals are set to move from point A to point B as quickly as possibly. While drive is necessary and healthy, the workforce journey is much more than just an increased annual salary and a title change on your business card. The ups and downs that your career will take you on can teach and refine you as an individual … if you let them. Character is so rarely praised, yet is integral in leading a healthy staff and propelling a business for success.
"...the workforce journey is much more than just an increased annual salary and a title change on your business card."
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In your waiting to switch jobs or for increased compensation, and between those moments of great exasperation and defeat, choose to build and strengthen your character. From character, excellence overflows and the desire to endlessly perform to your best becomes priority.
Here are three ways to maintain excellence in your workplace:
WORK TOWARD YOUR NEXT JOB
Though you may feel you’ve mastered all you can in your current position, challenge yourself with tasks that can translate over to your next job. If you finish a task early, ask your boss for additional projects that you can apply your own creativity to. Be willing to extend yourself outside of what you know and learn skills that your next position may require. Keep in mind that your portfolio is a reflection of you, so be proud of what you showcase to future employers and perfect as many skills as possible in your present position.
LEAVE A COMPANY ON A POSITIVE NOTE
The last way that you would want an employer to remember you is negatively. You may be in the process of interviewing for outside positions, but intentionally maintain a positive attitude while at your current company. You have worked hard in your role and want the option of listing your supervisor as a reference further on down the line. Industries are small and your path with current employees may cross later on, so choose a positive attitude that reflects integrity and character.
REALIZE THAT LIFE IS MORE
It can be easy to find self-worth in your job title and salary, but true meaning and purpose are not dependent on your resume or monetary worth. People are why the workforce functions, so focus on nurturing and maximizing those relationships and networks. If there is an individual at your company that you admire, grab lunch with them and pick their brain. Perhaps you have a coworker that is struggling with something outside of work — ask them how they’re holding up and invite them out for coffee. You may never be in the same circles again with the people that currently surround you, so maximize the time that you have with them.
Though the feeling of defeat can overtake us at times, seek the positive in your current role. Character is widely valuable to you as an individual and is something that can never be taken away by an employer, no matter how undervalued they make you feel. Strive to attain it.
Have you struggled in certain role at work? What did you learn from it?
The original version of this article appeared on Darling Magazine.
Image via Marlena Pearl Photography
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The 4 Rs You Need to Recover From a Mistake
The logistic ninjas of Grow Marketing break it down.
Photo Credit: Musings of a Curvy Lady
By: Cassie Hughes & Gabrey Means, Grow Marketing
Anyone who has dared greatly, innovated or made things better has also known failure. When we first set out to create our own experiential agency, we may not have known what we were doing, but we were crystal clear on what we wanted. Neither of us came from an agency background but we knew what was important from the client’s perspective and that we had something different to offer than what we were seeing in the marketplace. We knew there would be a lot of mistakes along the way and rather than shying away, we faced them head on.
"Anyone who has dared greatly, innovated or made things better has also known failure."
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Everyone makes mistakes. We’re only human. But how you learn and grow from them can help you better prepare for challenges ahead. Whether in your personal or professional life, here are a few tips to help you bounce back from a mistake and walk away stronger and smarter.
RECOGNIZE
Early in the life of our agency we took on a project where there were red flags we didn’t pay attention to because we were so eager to prove ourselves as a new entity, even though we had a long track record of success in our careers. It was a huge national brand in a category we were dying to break into so while our intuitions were screaming no, our egos kept saying yes. The client was unrealistic but we thought we could turn her around. We couldn’t have been more wrong. In addition to grinding us on every budget and continually asking for new ideas (free of charge) eventually she actually became verbally abusive. We got through the project and delivered but at a cost to ourselves and our team, who were left feeling deflated, unappreciated and exhausted.
RECORD
We are big believers in intention and writing things down. When we make mistakes we process them by writing down a list of what we learned and would do differently the next time. This was crucial to our process of avoiding bad project/client matches in the future. While it may sound intimidating to see your mistake recorded in black and white, it's actually quite liberating. When possible, sharing your list with a friend or partner who can keep you from being too hard or easy on yourself helps to keep the process honest and, therefore, most useful.
REPAIR
If you want to create an environment where people are inspired to be their best, they have to feel safe to fail. If they don’t, they’ll engage in all kinds of unproductive behaviors that only compound the mistake, from covering up to placing blame on others. Meanwhile, time ticks away and the impacts are increased. Encouraging people to own their mistake and take an active part in the solution means resolution comes quicker and the individual is left with the empowered feeling of having helped to repair it versus the deflation of screwing up, which only makes people feel and think smaller. To repair the damage to our team from the verbally abusive client, we owned up to letting our eagerness override our instinct and shared how we would avoid such situations in the future.
"If you want to create an environment where people are inspired to be their best, they have to feel safe to fail."
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RESOLVE
One of the most important parts of recovering from a mistake is knowing when to take a deep breath and let it go. Continually reliving mistakes is unproductive and paralyzing. Once you have done the work to repair the mistake and can clearly articulate your learnings, you should trust you have learned what that mistake has to teach you, freeing you to move on.
The mindset of recovery and resolution is an important one to build. It allows people to continue to want to take on new challenges and find new ways of doing things-- which, are really powerful assets. A culture that rewards creativity and trying new things – without punishing the misses – fosters a team of savvy problem-solvers who can think on their feet and are energized, instead of paralyzed, by new challenges.
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