Stop Competing With Your Co-Workers, It's Not Healthy

Photo: Angelica Marie Photography for Create & Cultivate

A bout of healthy competition can be used to keep us on track and maintain our motivation, but how do we recognize when this feeling is no longer beneficial? We are all individuals with a unique skill set trying to advance in our careers, but when is competition no longer healthy? When our personal goals start to become greater than the goals of the company, or when our progress starts to be at the expense of a colleague, we have to reevaluate our motives us. What can we do when we start spelling TEAM with an “I?”

Below are four simple ways we can be better at using our competitive energy to benefit everyone on the team.

“I may excel at X, but I need to work on Y.”

As much as many type-A individuals may not like to admit it, we all have a set of weaknesses in addition to our strengths. Gasp! Jot down in your phone or notebook the skills you rock at and the tasks you could use an extra hand. Seek out a colleague who complements your skillset and work together on a project that requires both of your unique talents. It’s important to be honest with this task as the more truthful you are the more likely you will find a perfect match. The whole is greater than the sum of the parts!

“Where have you been all my life?” 

In addition to discovering a complementary skillset amongst our colleagues, it can also be helpful to find a match from a social perspective. The more we get to know our co-workers personally, the less “threatening” they are. Discover common interests by grabbing a latte together on break or a glass of rosé after work… you never know, you may just meet a new friend. When we become friendly with our colleagues, their success will often become our own. Find your partner in crime!

“#Squad”

Now that you and your previous nemesis have become friendly and have complemented each other on a recent work project, it’s time to unite together long term! Discover each other’s personal goals within the company and unite together on common long-term business goals. This unity doesn’t only have to be with one other colleague but can include an entire #squad. There truly is strength in numbers.

“Let's celebrate.”

When we accomplish a goal or finally submit a project we have been working on for months, celebrating is part of the journey! As much as it’s enjoyable to celebrate our own personal success, the party is so much better when we can share the moment with an entire team. Following your next submission with your #squad, plan a special night at your favorite restaurant and soak in all the success that has been accomplished together. No such thing as a party for one!  

About the Author: Blare June is a lifestyle blogger from Halifax, Nova Scotia. What makes Blare June's blog unique is that in addition to fashion she writes about mental illness, empowerment, and overall wellness. When Blare June isn't blogging, she is working as a physician specializing in psychiatry in Halifax. You can find Blare June on Instagram: @blarejune. 

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This story was originally published on April 12, 2016, and has since been updated.

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Can You *Really* Check Email Once a Day? Why One CEO Says Yes

Photo: Daria Shevtsova from Pexels

Imagine a world where you only check your email once a day. Sounds pretty great, huh? Unfortunately, being that out of reach would have most employees fired on day one, but for Kate Unsworth, founder and CEO of London tech company Vinaya, a rarely checked inbox is her reality.

In an interview, Unsworth said she reduced her email traffic by 70% last month by turning on a 24/7 out-of-office note and only checking in occasionally. Why so distant? She, like so many of us, previously had a job that required her to read emails from the moment she woke up to the instant she fell asleep at night. After a quarter-life crisis, she got permission from her boss to only check her email twice each day and stay completely offline before and after hours. Yes, a miracle of sorts. And after seeing a huge improvement in her well-being and quality of work, she took it a step further after founding her own company that focuses on improving digital habits through technology.

Sadly, not all of us are currently in a place (yet!) where we can hop into our inbox once each day and only spend a total of five minutes on social media. Of course, a digital detox would be nice, but we also need those paychecks. Luckily, there are a handful of ways to establish digital boundaries to stay sane and still keep your boss happy.

1. Acknowledge you want to put up digital boundaries in the first place.  

It seems simple, but if you want to set digital boundaries for yourself, your boss has to be aware, too. And there’s no way that’s happening until you mention it. “First decide what you want to achieve by putting up boundaries, then once you’ve identified the goal, you can find the best boundary. For more efficient, interruption-free periods of work, turn your ‘out of office’ message on your email and messaging, but let people know how they can reach you if it’s an urgent matter. For example, they can give you a call if they need anything. Then if you get a call, you know you have to pick up,” says Cali Yost, CEO and founder of Flex + Strategy Group.

Don’t just say you want boundaries, though—make sure your employer knows why it’s important to you and your well-being.

“It can be stressful setting boundaries because you want to provide as much value as possible for your company, but you can’t sacrifice things you love. Be very clear with yourself on what you can compromise and what in your personal life you are not willing to change,” says Heather R. Ruhman, founder and president of Come Recommended.

2. Establish a regular stopping time.

This is key, especially in the beginning stages of a job. Once you’re in a solid routine of staying at your desk until 9 p.m. every night, it’s going to feel weird if you suddenly start leaving at 6. Since you spend the majority of your time at work, having set start and endpoints is crucial.

“While it may feel great to be needed all the time, it’s not healthy nor productive. Create a set time to cut off all work-related emails, messages, web searches, and phone calls. Your team will respect you more for valuing your personal life, and it will help you shift your mindset from work to home once you’ve established a defined time. It may be best to turn off email push notifications on your phone at your stopping time,” Ruhman says.

3. Download an app or plug-in to help focus on what’s important.

Unsworth says she uses Stay Focused to combine all her social accounts and keep her time spend scrolling through her newsfeed in check. Just think about how many hours you spend each day stalking through Facebook and double-tapping pictures on Instagram—it’s probably more than you think. Having emails to respond to all day can feel suffocating at times, but it’s always good to make sure your digital boundaries are set in and outside of the workplace. Because the last thing you want to do is spend the entire time you’re with friends and family with a phone glued to your face.

An original version of this article appeared on Levo. 

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This post was originally published on January 20, 2016, and has since been updated.

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Boo Freakin' Hoo: What to Do If You're Being Professionally Ghosted

Ghosting is the worst. Like, hello, it's me. But where did you go? I've emailed 47 times, called, left you 12 voicemails, DM'd, Snapchatted, written a thank you note, and sent a MF'ing carrier pigeon with macaroons. 

You call me a stalker, I call it being thorough. The collective "they" told me, in the working world it's important to follow up. It shows tenacity. It shows that you're willing to go the extra mile!

But it's also important to recognize when it's simply not working. The above may be an exaggeration, but professional ghosting happens and it's more difficult to navigate than relationship ghosting. Especially if you have to see the person who is ignoring you in the workplace. Water. Cooler. Awkward.

Here are four common and rather uncomfortable PG (professional ghosting) scenarios and how to handle them. Because while everyone loves a macaroon, it might make you look like a macaloon. 

YOU HAD A BOMB.COM INTERVIEW, FOLLOWED UP, & NEVER HEARD BACK

This one is pretty simple and the closest to relationship ghosting as it gets. What do you do? Move on. Accept that it wasn't the right fit and focus your efforts elsewhere. What you may have thought was the perfect job for you, there are countless reasons that it wasn't. (At least according to your not-future employer.) 

While it's frustrating and can make you a little blue in the ankle boots, the right opportunity is somewhere else. 

Keep the email and the contact in case you have reason to reach out in the future, and go sew your wild working oats elsewhere. 

YOU PITCHED YOUR BOSS A FAB IDEA, FOLLOWED UP, & SHE'S STILL IGNORING IT

Knowing when to push an idea harder with your boss is a very tricky, gray area. It depends on your relationship, how she likes to be approached, 

There's a possibility she simply forgot and your follow-up got buried under a pile of pressing to-dos. There's also the chance that she hated it, dismissed it, and has already moved on. 

First, ask yourself if it really, is the great idea it is in your head. We can get a little blinded by our egos and attached to ideas that aren't working. If you still think it's top-notch, run it by a colleague you trust. If they think it's great, pop by your bosses office and ask if they have 30 seconds. For the third attempt, an in-person F/U is the best. 

That way you can really gauge their reaction. An email is easy to ignore. Plus it shows a boldness and drive that will be appreciated, even if the idea is not. 

If your colleague is less enthusiastic than you expected, move on, and wow your boss with the next 10 ideas. 

SOMEONE REGRAMS A PHOTO, DOESN'T CREDIT YOU, & DOESN'T RESPOND TO YOUR REQUEST FOR CREDIT

Creative professional deserve credit for their work, and if someone isn't polite enough to tag you or respond to two requests (make the first one polite, the second can be a little more stern), report the photo. Sometimes it's a simple mistake or a busy Social Director who overlooks the tag. 

Make it Instagram's problem. Because while it feels a bit like tattling, it's even more childish of a company or person to refuse credit. You work hard and deserve the tag. 

YOU'VE REACHED OUT TO A FRIEND/COLLEAGUE/

FORMER BOSS FOR AN INTRO OR RECOMMENDATION AND... CRICKETS

Using key contacts to crack open closed doors is part of the circle of working. And even though it can be really uncomfortable asking for professional favors, we all do it. However, it is quite possibly one of the worst feelings when you ask for a favor and you get straight ignored-- especially when you're asking a friend. 

Here's how to handle by contact and situation: 

• Asking a close friend for a contact or recommendation: follow up with texts, calls, Facetime. Snapchats, show up on their doorstep with dinner. Close friends are fine with your crazy. Plus, if you land a job you can buy them all the wine. 
• Asking a friendly acquaintance for a contact or recommendation: follow up once, say how much you'd appreciate it, and if they don't respond, try to find another way in. Some contacts are awkward to give out, and it's easier for people to ignore you than say no. But you need to accept that just because you ask, that doesn't give you a right to their Roladex.  
• Asking a former colleague or boss for a contact or recommendation: email first and ask if you can steal three minutes of their time on a call. In most instances you should avoid texting-- unless you were close and consider them a friend, in which case, see above. But if your relationship was strictly professional, keep it that way, and make the request formal. Say that the request is time sensitive, and if you don't get a rather quick response that reasonably meets your deadline, there's your answer. Don't stress over one contact. Redirect that energy into finding someone different to ask. You might get a courtesy email down the line, saying something like, "I just saw this, sorry I couldn't be more helpful." IF, they can still be helpful, here's your chance to hook them. If it really is too late, send a polite reply. You never want to burn a professional bridge because of a personal resentment. 

Arianna Schioldager is Create & Cultivate's editor-at-large. You can find her on IG @ariannawrotethis and more about her at www.ariannawrotethis.com

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