5 Best Career Takeaways from the Joan Didion Doc

Photograph by Julian Wasser / Netflix

If you tuned into the Netflix Doc, “Joan Didion: The Center Will Not Hold,” there were some tearful moments, some revelations about her relationship to her dad and her husband John Gregory Dunne, but there are also some moments that we took as career inspo. 

Here are our five faves. 

1. Everyone takes their lumps in the beginning. But those who stick with it persevere. 

After graduating from UC Berkeley, Didion traveled to New York to work for Vogue. As fellow editor, Phyllis Rifield, explains in the doc, “it would be exciting because it was the pre-eminent fashion magazine.” 

“You didn’t have the luxury of writing and writing and writing,” Rifield shares, bringing up Didion’s editor. 

“I remember she would have this big aquamarine ring,” Didion says in the documentary from old C-Span footage. “She’d violently be crossing things out, yelling ‘action verbs, action verbs.’ Everybody that lasted with her,” she continues, “basically learned to write.”

Didion lasted, but not without taking some serious editing. 

2. You never know where your shot will come from. 

‘Self-respect, its source, its power,’ is the title of Didion’s first published Vogue piece. It had been assigned to a freelance writer, Didion reveals. It never showed up, but the title had already been printed on the that month’s cover. 

“No piece came in,” says Didion, “so I had to write it.”

“People with self-respect,” wrote Didion in the piece, “display what was once called character… Character, the willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.” 

“Character, the willingness to accept responsibility for one’s own life is the source from which self-respect springs.”

Tweet this. 

She wrote the piece. Got her byline. And the Joan Didion voice officially hit the world. 

3. You don’t have to be a breakout hit, but you do have to break out. 

Even though Vogue was, as previously stated, the pre-eminent fashion magazine-- and still the spot that so many writers vie to work at, it wasn’t the end-all-be-all for Didion. 

She’d work all day at Vogue, come home eat dinner, and work on her novel. “I’d pin up parts on the walls of my apartment. I think ten people read it. I think 11 copies of it were sold,” she laughs. The novel is called “Run River.” 

It was not her best work, but it was her first. 

4. Sometimes you have to give up the day job to become who you really are.

Despite a burgeoning career, Didion knew that it was time to get out of New York. “It’s easy to see the beginnings of things and harder to see the ends. I could remember now with a clarity that makes the back of my nerves constrict when New York began for me. But I cannot lay my finger on the moment it ended. All I know is that it was very bad when I was 28.” 

It was not until she published “Slouching Toward Bethlehem,” in 1968 did she become a cultural phenom. 

Nothing happens overnight. The recognition doesn’t happen at the beginning of your career. That’s why it’s called the beginning. 

5. The middle part is always the hardest and when you need to dig in. 

No matter what the job, there’s always a moment when you have to go straight through the center. 

There’s no other way around it. 

In the doc, Didion talks about how the beginning of a book is the easiest, but once you dig into the middle that’s where the real work begins— for everyone. 

What was your favorite part? Comment below!

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Pre-Week Motivation From One of Our Favorite CEOs

When Sonja Rasula, CEO & Founder of @UniqueMarkets, @TheUniqueCamp, and @TheUniqueSpace got the #CreateCultivateSEA crowd on the Main Stage AND dancing during our last conference, it was truly something special. As she stated on her personal IG, 

"Here's to those willing to take risks, to say yes to the unknown, to be weird in front of hundreds of strangers. A week ago these brave women got up on stage with me, learned their moves in less than one minute, and gave-it-a-go in front of hundreds of women staring back at them. BRAVO TO THE DARING - the difference between most people and these women is that they climbed onto the stage, knew their moves wouldn't be in sync, were faced with judging stares and DID IT ANYWAYS. And when making decisions in meetings, or figuring out a business idea or planning for a presentation, my guess is these ladies will conquer anything you throw at them, instead of being nervous and sitting on the sideline. 🎉 It was an honor seeing you all at my workshop, just look at those smiles and those moves!!!!"

She's also the owner of the above words, which, might be one of our most liked photos on IG-- ever. So in preparation for our Create & Cultivate x Marriott Hotels popup in Portland this week, where Sonja will be taking the stage to keynote and inspired, we had her rework some of our favorite inspirational sayings. 

Check out the below for a little pre-week motivation and be sure to RSVP to our Portland event here. 

1. Original: Success comes to those who wait. Sonja’d: Success comes over nights.

2. Original: Do one thing every day that scares you. Sonja’d: If it's easy, you're not doing it right.

3. Original: You can do it, put your back into it. Sonja’d: UM I WOULD SAY EXACTLY THAT!  

4. Original: People who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do. Sonja’d: All it takes is a big idea and a little crazy.

"If it's easy, you're not doing it right."

Tweet this.

5. Original: Whether you think you can or think you can’t, you’re right. Sonja’d: You are your biggest critic, let go. Become your biggest cheerleader. 

6. Original: Done is better than perfect. Sonja’d: Dreamers dream. Doers get shit done.

Have a favorite saying? Share in the comments below! 

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Here's How to Face Criticism at Work Head On

Article by Alana Helapitage. Facing Criticism at Work? Here's How to Stay Confident originally appeared on Shine, a free daily text to help you thrive.

Success-driven professionals tend to take our work personally—including the criticism we get for it.

While we have the power to respond to all criticism constructively, there’s some criticism that brings even the most empowered among us to our knees. This is the kind of feedback that challenges our self-worth, our power to serve, and our authority as professionals. 

When we get difficult criticism, it’s important to have a practice to lean on so we can bounce back stronger and more assertive than we were before. In fact, according to a graduate study conducted by Mark Reid, assertiveness is one of the key factors of Emotional Intelligence, which research shows is a core part of effective communication at work. 

The following three-step assertiveness practice has been a lifeline when I’ve received truly challenging criticism. This practice has allowed me to re-center myself when I feel trapped in the mire of other people’s wants, needs, and expectations—helping me to distill the lessons in the criticism while still standing my ground. 

Step 1: Give Yourself Permission to Feel

We carry so many hidden limiting beliefs about certain feelings. The anger, sadness, shame, and other negative emotions that result from receiving criticism can trigger beliefs about what is wrong or lacking in us as human beings. We may believe that having so-called negative feelings reflects our weakness, illness, or badness. 

Decide to feel what you feel.

So, we may react by resisting, dismissing, or outright denying these feelings, only to have them grow stronger and more depleting. 

The solution? Decide to feel what you feel. Carve out some time alone and undistracted to simply sit still, breathe deeply, and witness the sensations that arise in your body. Scan your body from head to toe and notice what feelings come up in each body part. 

Maybe you feel your head swimming in your racing thoughts. Your neck might be aching under the burden of feeling not good enough. Your heart could be pounding with anger at some unjust remarks hurled your way. But amidst the struggle, you may eventually feel some courage mingling with the anger, some peacefulness expanding in your lungs as your deep breathing relaxes you. 

As you notice your feelings, choose to relate to them, not as an indication of who you are, but as a sign of what needs your attention so you can respond proactively to the situation at hand.

Step 2: Write It Out, Talk It Out, Work It Out

Once we’ve given ourselves permission to feel, we need to express what we feel. You may have heard the popular definition of emotions as “energy in motion.” In other words, emotions aren’t designed to stagnate. Rather, they’re designed to be fluid, to move through us. 

Emotions are energy in motion.

To help shift our feelings from negative and depleted to positive and assertive, we need to put words to what we feel—uncensored—and then talk about them to those we trust to listen to us. 

For the first phase of this process, I recommend writing down what you feel. This is the unedited part, for your eyes only. Allow every feeling to spill onto the paper in its raw form, no matter how wrong or even obscene your feelings may seem. If you’re compelled to write an entire page of expletives or a litany that would knock your critic(s) to the ground—so be it. 

Then, highlight the key feelings that are especially difficult for you to process. Decide who you want to discuss them with and clarify what kind of feedback you need so you can respond effectively. If you just want someone to listen, that’s completely valid. I’d recommend speaking with someone who isn’t directly involved in your relationship with the person/people who have criticized you, in order for you to get unbiased support.

Another tip: Physically moving our bodies based on how we’re feeling is a key part of healthy self-expression, whether that means dancing, hitting a punching bag, practicing yoga, or doing other forms of exercise. This is one of the fastest and most effective ways I know to keep our emotions moving in a positive direction, especially when we focus on our breathing and how it would feel to be assertive. 

Step 3: Use D-E-A-R M-A-N When Talking to Your Critics

D-E-A-R M-A-N was introduced to me by my soul-based business strategist, Kim Page, as a handy mnemonic to practice assertive communication. It was developed by Dr. Marsha Linehan, Ph.D., ABPP, an expert in human psychology. I'll illusrate each letter in the acronym with an example adapted from my experience with writer clients struggling with criticism.

●︎ D stands for describing the facts of the situation at hand. "My understanding is that I was to provide you with ten hours of editing work for $500, and you were expecting a ten page critique in that amount of time."

●︎ E stands for expressing your feelings and opinions using “I” statements, along with a brief explanation. For example: "I feel unclear as to why you expected a ten-page critique, when we agreed that half of your payment (five hours of my time) was to be set aside for a step-by-step editing strategy."

●︎ A stands for asking for what you want and saying no to what you don’t want. Example: "I would like to talk to you over the phone to clarify what your editing needs are, and also what we can do to meet those needs together. I don’t want to write a ten-page critique because I feel it would be overwhelming for you as a novice writer." 

●︎ R stands for reinforcing the benefits of getting what you want and need and the consequences of not getting what you want and need. Example: "If you’re open to speaking with me over the phone about our scope of work, I feel we can come to a clearer understanding of what will make your book as effective as possible. If we don’t, I’m concerned that you’ll continue to want more feedback than we can efficiently apply to editing your work." 

●︎ M stands for staying mindful of your desired outcome for the communication, without giving into distractions. Example: "I understand that you’re disappointed about not receiving a ten-page critique, but I have to emphasize the importance of breaking down our work into manageable steps." 

●︎ A stands for appearing confident, meaning that you maintain direct speech and eye contact. Example: "I have provided editing strategies for dozens of new authors in your field, and I trust that we’ll figure out one that works for you—even if it’s different from what you were envisioning." 

●︎ N stands for negotiating a solution with the other person, accepting that there may be alternatives that will allow you to get your wants and needs met. Example: "While a ten-page critique is off the table, how else do you think we can work together to get your editing needs met?" 

Success-driven professionals often go through a lot of difficult change to claim our self-worth, our authority, and our power to serve. Part of this change includes responding assertively to criticism. 

The three techniques I’ve described can help you to walk resolutely down your chosen path, allowing you to turn criticism into fuel for a successful and fulfilling career.

About Shine:

Shine is a free daily text message experience that makes it easier to live a more intentional life. Each weekday morning, Shine sends curated content and actionable tips across confidence, daily happiness, mental health and productivity. Why? Because we all need a little help to get through the day—and Shine’s got your back. To sign up, text “SHINE” to 759-85 or go to www.shinetext.com to learn more.

Follow Shine on Instagram, Twitter & Facebook: @ShineText

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Is the Text Message Interview a Scam?

Written by: Makeda Waterman

If you think you know technology, the text messaging interview tops our list. The reality is most job seekers will not be prepared when an unexpected text arrives on the smartphone. With the rapid pace of technology, you need to know more than the most common interview questions. 

Before you accept your next text interview, we included the pros, cons and why it is becoming popular across the globe.

Why Text Message Recruiting is Popular

According to a Gallup News article, “sending and receiving text messages is the most prevalent form of communication for Americans younger than 50.” 

HR staff at organizations have realized that emails can get lost in spam folders, but people take the time to check their phones a few times a day. Online tools such as Google Voice give recruiters an opportunity to send a text message from their computer. 

The Android and iPhone have voice dictation tools that help them to create a text message without the use of their cell phone or keyboard. Sounds like an easy way for employers to find top talent.

SMS Interview Tips

The entire purpose of SMS interviews is for recruiters to screen out applicants without having to spend countless hours on the telephone or play cat and mouse phone tag to connect with applicants successfully. An SMS message may come as a surprise. Here are messages to avoid sending if you receive one.

• CU later!
• XOXO :D
• Thx for the invite!
• Gr8! C U Soon

What to consider when sending a professional SMS message:

• Try to avoid sending long text messages if you have a basic question like directions to find the location of the interview. 
• When you need help with a more detailed inquiry, send an email or call the recruiter. Keep your messages within a 140 character tweet limit.
• Emojis are casual but are not professional when communicating with an HR rep. If you can avoid using slang and check for spelling errors, you are well on your way.
• Send your responses during regular business hours. A text to a recruiter at 3 am may not be looked at as professional hours.

The Benefits of Text-based Interviewing

There is a belief that text-based interviewing minimizes bias when recruiters hire top talent. The recruiter is less distracted with personality or accents and can stay focused on how the applicant answers their questions. 

It helps to improve the chances of qualifying the right candidates to come in for an interview. The conversation with a recruiter can end quicker if they choose not to move forward. The information can stay on record and text messages can be shared with managers throughout the hiring process.

The Cons of Interviewing via Text

Not all applicants understand the do’s and don’ts of how to be professional when replying to text-based interviews. An applicant that adds an emoji or sends a casual response might be a qualified candidate. Depending on the person that receives the text, he or she may not have an interest in carrying on an interview via SMS. It is fair to say that not all millennials or job seekers appreciate texting over a one on one connection with a live recruiter.

Text Message Recruitment Scams

Doesn’t it sound like a convenient way to communicate? Yes, indeed. The other side of this text-friendly recruitment practice is scammed becoming popular. 

On Indeed, job seekers shared their experiences of generic text messages from illegitimate companies. Beware of the text message that asks you to send your full name, date of birth, address and Social Security Number. A recruiter from a real company will not ask you for this information. If this happens to you, we strongly recommend that you hold onto the message and report it to your local authorities.

The next time you receive an SMS from an HR recruiter, think of it like an in-person interview. It takes a few seconds to use autocorrect and think of a pleasant and professional way to answer a question. You most likely are one out of the many people that will receive it. Do your best to wow the recruiter and good luck!

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Everything You Missed from Our Create & Cultivate Style Summit with Simon Malls

Mall life is the great life, if you attended the Create & Cultivate Style Summit with Simon Malls at the Houston Galleria last weekend. From @michelletakeaim sharing great social tidbits with the 300+ crowd like, “It's really important to post in real time and build a connection with your followers," to Houston-based fashion illustrator Rongrong Devoe doodling onsite for attendees, to the non-stop note-taking in Erin Condren custom #foundatsimon notebooks. We had a time. 

For a better look into the festivities press play on the full recap below. Includes some Sophia Bush mic-drops. 

photo credit: Becki Smith/Smith House Photo

video credit: Salt Water & Chaos

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Does the Current Administration Want to Control Our Bodies?

Should we rename birth control? To birth mind-your-business. Or birth nunya. Or something that would stop numerous conservatives in DC from crawling up our uterus’?

Seriously. 

While the debate over abortion is well-documented, the BTS agenda of the Trump admin when it comes to birth control is less documented. 

It started to come to light earlier this month when, according the the NY Times, “the White House argued that one reason for ending Obamacare’s birth control mandate is that it could promote ‘risky sexual behavior’ among women and teens." Under these regulations of the 55 million women with access to free birth control, hundreds of thousands of women would lose the benefits afforded to them under the Affordable Care Act.

So let’s talk numbers. More than 99% of women aged 15–44 who have ever had sexual intercourse have used at least one contraceptive method. Of the contraceptive methods, the pill and female sterilization have been the two most commonly used methods since 1982.

According to the fact sheet from the Guttmacher Institute, four of every five sexually experienced women have used the pill. More so, the pill is the method most widely used by white women, women in their teens and 20s, never- married and cohabiting women, childless women and college graduates.

You get the point. We use the pill. We like the pill. We like not getting pregnant. It’s not as wild or raucous as that “risky sexual behavior” quote would lead conservatives to believe. In fact, access to contraceptives has shown teens to engage in less risky sexual behavior. 

And yet, last week, while we were distracted by [enter any number of horrors here] a leaked memo revealed that Trump and his administration intend to cut family planning funding and encourage women—including teenagers—to abandon birth control in favor of the rhythm method. 

We wish this was about Janet Jackson. 

(One more Rhythm Nation gif for prosperity.)

But it's not. It's still nasty tho. 

Said memo was leaked to Crooked, and according to their reporting, “Each of the document’s repeated references to fertility awareness, including as a preferred remedy for teenage pregnancy, can be found in subsections that identify DPC staffers Katy Talento and Alexandra Campau as points of contact for OMB officials. Talento, a former adviser to Sen. Thom Tillis (R-NC), attracted the attention of the health news service STAT earlier this year, after Trump selected her to help shape the administration’s health policy, for expressing ‘strong rhetoric against birth control and abortion.’ In a January 2015 article for the right wing website The Federalist, Talento suggested that “chemical birth control” is “causing miscarriages of already-conceived children,” and, “breaking your uterus for good.”

Science. 

Speaking of, here’s a little info on the rhythm method, in which women try to avoid pregnancy by tracking their ovulation. According to Planned Parenthood, these methods are about 76% effective. In other numbers, ““24 out of 100 couples who use FAMS will have a pregnancy each year.”

Talento has to be a hack! You might think. She's not. She studied epidemiology at Harvard (which certainly doesn't make her a vagina expert). Her first job, according to her LinkedIn was as a research instructor at Georgetown University Medical Center, where she helped oversee an unspecified NIH-funded study. She then worked at the Whitman-Walker Clinic, which provides services for HIV/AIDS patients, before moving onto politics. Why would a woman with an extensive scientific background call for such measures? 

Why the call to take away our BC? 

It’s certainly pre-historic and it has very little to do with your uterus breaking. Or deviant sexual behavior. But a conservative agenda that women should not enter into sexual relations before marriage. This is not politics as usual. 

We say, my body, my choice. My Control. 

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Why This Emmy Winner Says You Should Flip Off Failure

Fearless and free. It’s a pretty good place to be when it comes to your career. Which is exactly what Emmy-award winning TV news producer and author Wendy Sachs writes about in her book, Fearless and Free, How Smart Women Pivot— and Relaunch Their Careers. 

In the book she discusses the self-imposed barriers that hold women back. The job market’s radical change in recent years. And how we can all take small steps that lead to massive growth. 

Here are our 5 favorite takeaways that you can apply to your career today. Free? Fearless? Right this way. 

1. “The only career goal you should be focusing on right now, is staying relevant.” 

In the book Wendy quotes Karen Shnek Lippman, a managing director at the Sloan-Koller Group. Lippman says, “There is no such thing as a career path now.” It’s scary to think about, but in the last decade we have seen industry change exponentially. Keeping yourself relevant, continuing to advance and develop your skills (ahem, learn new ones), and evolve with the times is a way to make sure you keep your job. 

2. Your sorry’s add up. 

Wendy references the Amy Schumer May 2015 sketch on Inside Amy Schumer, that documents the female tendency to apologize. It’s satire sure, but that means it’s biting. And it packs some truth. Think of how many times you say “sorry” when someone runs into you. Sorry! It’s innocuous enough in that moment, but the propensity to apologize adds up and seeps into our other behavior. 

We suggest testing out actively not saying sorry in instances that aren’t your fault. Someone runs into you? Look them in the eye and wait for their apology. See if it shifts your attitude and self-worth even a smidgen. Because smidgen's add up too. 

“Inertia is a confidence killer.There’s no time to get stuck.”

Tweet this. 

3. Confidence is more important than competence. 

Wendy cites research from journalists Katty Kay and Claire Shipman and their book, The Confidence Code: The Science and Art of Self-Assurance, in which they found that we’re either hardwired for confidence or we’re not. “Like blue eyes,” Wendy writes, “this inheritable trait is something we are born with— imprinted in our genetic code. Kay and Shipman found that the correlation between genes and confidence may be as high as 50 percent and may be even more closely connected than the link between genes and IQ.” 

Did that make your heart stop? We’ve always been told that we can power pose our way to confidence! (Something Wendy also discusses in the book.) And these women are telling us, maybe not? “The key here,” says Wendy, “is that those with overconfidence weren’t faking it—it simply wasn’t bravado or bluster—they actually believed they were that good.” 

So what’s a woman not born with the confidence gene do with this research? We say, allow yourself off the hook for not getting the [insert anything you’ve ever beat yourself up about here] and then rewire your brain to become more confident. 

Wendy says, “While confidence may be partly genetic, the good news is that it is also very malleable. It’s like a muscle that can be strengthened.” 

She also says that “confidence creation is about taking risks.” So go ahead and make some risky moves. 

4. Get Up and Go After It 

If you’re making risky moves, you’re going to fail. You’re going to fall. Sometimes that means starting all over again. 

Wendy recounts the story of Jill Abramson, The New York Times’s first and only female executive editor, who was fired two and a half years into her job. “Some reported,” writes Wendy, “that Jill was ‘difficult,’ which for a female executive is a word loaded with gender double standards. It was also reported that Jill had hired a lawyer before she was fired to look into compensation issues, believing that she was not paid the equivalent to her male predecessor.” 

But Jill didn’t stay down. According to Wendy, “The morning after Jill was fired, she went to a session with her trainer that handed her pair of boxing gloves. She had never boxed before, but hitting the bag was intensely satisfying, Jill asked her trainer to take a picture of her with the gloves and she emailed it to her kids who were worried about her.” The pic went viral after her daughter Cornelia posted it to her Instagram. 

It’s a great reminder that no one fall is your end. Only you can decide your professional end. 

Which is why we love #5…

5. Flip off failure. 

Seriously. Process your failure and then give it the bird. (And the wings so that it may fly away.) You can’t become paralyzed because something doesn't work or survive in the marketplace. 

"Process your failure and then give it the bird. (And the wings so that it may fly away.)"

Tweet this. 

We’re reminded of this modern day biz facet the whole book through. And it’s a vital Wendy says, “Inertia is a confidence killer, and with the world today moving at the speed of social, there’s no time to get stuck.”

For more career advice and how to fail forward, check out Wendy’s book, available on Amazon here. 

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The Female CEO Who Turned Sophia Bush Down

Sophia Bush, actress and activist, keynoted our Style Summit at the Simon Mall Houston Galleria this past weekend, and we're still on a high from the knowledge she intentionally slammed, forget dropped-- this wasn't casual, on stage. 

If you missed out, we're sharing 6 of our favorite moments to keep you motivated through your work week. 

On being a tender-hearted softie who takes no shit.

I’ve had to learn, sometimes, how to scream and swear at the phone and then not send it. You know, write the draft of the response to the person who deserves it, but then channel Michelle Obama, ‘when they go low, I go high,’ and I delete it. But still I am really learning the art of a good clapback and I deserve that. Simply because I exist in public does not make me a receptacle for people’s garbage.

It’s taken me 15 years, but I think I’m sort of an expert.

"I am really learning the art of a good clapback and I deserve that."

Tweet this. 

On activism being a huge part of her story and advice to women

You have to find the thing that lights you up and that can be in a good way, or a bad way. What sets you on fire?  What makes you so angry? I read a lot about what’s happening in the world today and I’m pissed, I’m so pissed all of the time, and that FIRE that it calls up in the gut of my gut, I’m like, this is why I can’t be quiet. It’s really easy to turn off the news. And look, today is Saturday. My best friend and I laid in bed all morning and ate french fries and drank iced coffee and watched Fixer Upper-- I needed a day. But we have to pay attention and I think the first and foremost step to becoming a more engaged more active member of society, is to pay attention.

On the internet life. 

I would encourage everyone here to make the easiest free investment ever. For the next week, please every day, leave a really lovely compliment on at least one of the accounts of women you follow. Please once a day. Because most of the people who take the time to leave comments are assholes. The really nice together people, are scrolling and liking, but we’re busy. So we can really tilt the conversation by leading it with positivity.

On personal style. 

When we look at the ways we express ourselves and the ways each of us still might be feeling like maybe today’s version of expression was a risk? Support each other. Whether that’s girls who tend to dress in menswear or girls who love to show off their bodies or girls who are fully covered and wearing a hijab. Love on women. Love on them and tell them they are beautiful. Tell them that their style is sick, even if it’s different from your own. I can’t wait to be eighty and be like Iris Apfel meets Georgia O'Keeffe. I’m gonna be such a silver-haired old lady wearing crazy shit out in the desert collecting bones and painting them.

Her advice to her 20-year-old self.

I was so nervous about letting people down. I didn’t know that when I was 21 and started working in television that I didn’t have to answer every question journalists asked me to be polite. What is polite anyway? Figure out what’s important to you and you don’t have to open up your life in ways you don’t want to. You don’t have to please other people before you please yourself. You don’t have to stay in a job that makes you unhappy. You don’t have to stay in a relationship that makes you unhappy. If you’re pretty sure that guy you’re dating is lying to you, he is. Let it go. I learned that one the hard way.

"You don’t have to please other people before you please yourself."

Tweet this.

I really wish I could look at her and say ‘you already know, stop worrying about what other people know or think or want from you more than you worry about how you feel in the root of the root of yourself.’

On putting yourself out there.

Women are often so reductive about ourselves. Men don’t say I think. Women say I think. You might write an email and say I just think it would be so wonderful to know you. No you know it would be wonderful to get to know that person. That CEO who you idolize or whoever that person is, say: "It would be such an honor for me to spend a morning with you. I have a couple of questions that I know your expertise would be so valuable." Stop saying I think I could benefit, I think I would like to-- no you know what you’d like. You know what you can do. Just go for it. I’ve done that. Last year, I sent an email to an incredible female CEO who I admire so much basically asking the same question. She was so lovely in response and said I’m incredibly strapped for time as it is and what free time I have goes to my kids but thank you so much for writing this email to me, the compliment that you paid me really means the world, and I do hope that in some point when we’re in the same city we both have some free time and we’ll get together. I was like I’m so sad but you’re so classy. It made me feel so good to know that I made her feel good.

Photo credit: Smith House Photo

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How to Handle Your Year End Performance Review

Written by: Alexandra Dickson, CEO & Founder, Ask For It 

Year end performance reviews are coming up. Maybe you’re looking for a raise or are hungry for a new challenge? Whatever it is that you’re hoping for, you can prepare to ask for it in three simple but powerful steps. You can get clarity and gain confidence to negotiate before that next meeting with your boss.

Gather your evidence.

Evidence can be broken down in two ways — value you’ve created and value you’ve saved your company. Set aside some time to go back through your notes and notable emails from the year to refresh your memory and make it easier to speak to your accomplishments. Then assess: what value have you created for your team or company? Think bigger when it comes to value; it doesn’t necessarily have to mean sales or revenue. Value you’ve created could be launching a new initiative, bringing on a new partner or inventing a new campaign. Do quantify this if at all possible, whether in terms of dollars, number of people impacted, or any other relevant metric, but know that value doesn’t always mean money.

What value have you saved? Again, value you’ve saved could mean financial savings, or it could mean increased efficiencies. If someone on your team left and you’ve been taking on their projects rather than filling the position, there’s an example of value you’ve saved.

Do the right research

How will you know what to ask for if you don’t do some benchmarking? Your goal should be to get data points from both inside your own company and more broadly, in your industry.

You can start your research online using websites like Glassdoor, PayScale and Salary.com, but you need to go further to get really useful information. Make it a priority to speak to half a dozen people: three men and three women. Ask people who would know how much someone in your position typically makes. This could be your own colleagues, if you feel comfortable asking them, or someone who’s doing a similar job to you at another company, or even an industry mentor who hires people at your level. I realize this may make you uncomfortable, but trust me, it’s worth it. You’ll go into your negotiation with much more confidence and it will make it easier for you advocate for yourself.

Feeling tongue tied? Try this simple script:

“I’m doing research because I’m preparing to ask for a raise, and I think you have some information that could help me. Would you be willing to share your ballpark salary with me?”

Practice

Grab a trusted friend or colleague and ask them to do a little practicing with you. If you’ve never asked for a raise before, repeating your request out loud is an easy and effective way to give yourself the best chance of success. 

Not sure how to put it all together? Try something like this, and be sure to tailor it to your personal situation: “According to my research, similar positions in our industry pay about X. But I didn’t just take the salary guides I found online as gospel. I went further and spoke with some folks in similar roles, so I know my request is in line with the current marketplace.”

Use your review as an opportunity to cash in on your hard work all year long. Build your case, shore up your confidence, get in there and ask for it.

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When You Should (or Shouldn't) Work for Free

Working for free. Whew. These are fighting words for some. The concept of being asked to do work for nada (or on spec) has been lampooned in videos, illustrations, and even a dedicated Twitter account. But it’s one of life’s most nebulous gray areas: There’s no clear-cut correct answer to the “should you work for free?” question (sorryyy). Instead, the right-for-you answer is constantly shifting, dependent on your current needs, goals, and availability. What’s right for you might not be right for someone else, and what’s right for you now might not be right for you in five years.

With that in mind, there are some instances in which doing gratis work can actually be just the kick in the pants your burgeoning career or business needs. Below we dig into six situations where it might make sense, and share a look at how some top entrepreneurs feel about taking on a no-pay gig.

Your work will be exposed to a large audience.

You’re just getting started. Your work is rad (RAD), and you knowww the world will love it. (They will!) But you’re a little stuck when it comes to getting the word out, creating in vain—and in a vacuum. One solution: Offering up some freebies to a legit company that can help boost you over the hurdle by letting you tap into their audience. In these situations, though, know that the promise of “exposure” is not enough. Get down and dirty with the details. Ask for attendee numbers for events, probe publications for their readership numbers. Will companies link back to your site? How and where—exactly—will this happen? Will they promote you, along with your work, on their social channels? On related marketing materials? Big companies should have budgets, but sometimes the only way to get that toe in the door (and land a gig that might otherwise go to a more established colleague), is by offering to do it for free. But if a company isn’t forthcoming about their audience or how they’ll promote you, they can take a hike.

You’ll gain an awesome example for your resume or portfolio.

Sometimes one.single.resume.line of you doing amaze work for a credible company can catapult you into the realm of paying jobs for life. The same goes for visual examples of beautiful work, whether you’re a graphic designer, photographer, stylist, or brand consultant. We know an incredible interior designer who decorated a pal’s pad for free (labor, of course, not materials), had it photographed by a profesh, and plastered it all over her site and social-media accounts. Then paying gigs for design work and requests for interviews by shelter magazines started rolling in. Nail one job down, lean on it hard when talking with future clients or companies, and see where it gets you (and, ahem, they don’t need to know you did it for free).

You'll score new, IRL experience.

This is especially important when it comes to career pivots. You’re languishing in middle management at an accounting firm, holding tight to the same cupcake-baking dream you’ve had since you were knee high. But you have no idea how a successful baked-goods biz is run! You know that bakery around the corner? Consider offering to help out for free and you’ll pick up priceless on-the-job experience. Not saying this will be easy. It might mean crazy-early mornings. Scaling back to part-time at your paying job. Your hubs having to pick up major slack with the kiddos for months. But it’s doable. We actually know an inspiring lady who leveraged an unpaid apprenticeship at a hot-town San Francisco restaurant into a paying job there and then bagged a cookbook deal.

The networking is unbeatable.

Sometimes passion projects with little-to-no budgets are attached to influential folks with big names and tons of connections. Getting swept up into their network—being on calls and trading emails with people of note, organizing events with a A-list guest lists or speakers—can land you job after job after paying job down the line. Tons of career breaks have been launched by a friendly “remember me? loved working with you” email after you’ve done solid work and built rapport with a killer new network of people-who-can-hire-you.

Transitioning to a for-pay job is highly likely.

Back in our day, we trudged eight miles barefoot through the snow to intern for free. Welllll, not really, but we logged many an hour at unpaid internships, and several of us flipped them into paying jobs at the company we’d been interning for and at other great companies within the same industry. So, it’s possible, as long as the terms are clearly defined and you let it be known from the get-go that paid work is your ultimate goal. And no, you don’t have to be a 19-year-old college student to make this happen. Imagine striking a deal with a museum or library that you’ll take on grant-writing for free until you’ve secured the grants covering a potential salary for yourself and then some. An airtight contract is key here, but you’ve essentially created a job for yourself out of thin air.

You’ll be doing some good in the world!

Charity or volunteer work! This should really be numero uno on our list! As they say, this one is about giving rather than gaining. It could be anything from acting as treasurer for a nonprofit in need to accompanying your little one to the animal shelter to read to dogs every weekend. The point is that the more you give, the better you’ll feel—recent studies have shown that the secret to happiness is helping others. Just be clear upfront about the amount of time you’re willing to dedicate so that it doesn’t creep into something unmanageable that breeds resentment.

This article first appeared on Alice’s Table, a new woman-founded company that throws flower-arranging workshops and teaches women how to host classes themselves so they can launch a creative career or side gig that’s fun, flexible, and rewarding.

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5 Women of Color Dominating the Startup Tech Space

Esosa Ighodaro, co-founder of COSIGN 

The stats on women in STEM and tech are pretty dismal. (About 26% of women hold tech jobs.) Those numbers drop lower when it comes to women of color-- they hold only 3 percent of all tech positions in the U.S. Which is why supporting of women who are doing their damn thing, and doing it well, is crucial. 

Here are five amazing women of color in the tech space you need to hit that follow button on. 

1. Jessica O. Matthews & Unchartered Play

Jessica O. Matthews is the Founder & CEO of Uncharted Play, an energy company that designs renewable energy technology systems for infrastructure and smart applications. Founded by Jessica when she was 22, Uncharted Play’s flagship product is the SOCCKET ball, an energy generating soccer ball that provides off-grid power for the developing world. Jessica invented the SOCCKET when she was 19 years old.

Jessica’s research and career centers around the intersection of disruptive technology, human behavior, and the psychology of self-actualization. A dual citizen of Nigeria & the U.S., Jessica has a degree in Psychology and Economics from Harvard University, and
an MBA from Harvard Business School.

2. Dawn Dickson & Solutions Vending  

Dawn W. Dickson is a serial entrepreneur with over 15 years of experience in marketing and business development. She launched three successful cash flow positive companies since 2002, her most recent venture Solutions Vending International (SVI) in October 2012 after identifying a need develop a software solution to make vending machines more intelligent.

What Solutions Vending International does: Smart vending machines now represent a new breed of machines connected to the internet. Their software helps vending machines not only understand retail customer demographic and sales data, but communicate with one another to understand consumer purchasing behavior, identify venue traffic patterns, and establish a network of connected retail devices. SVI is building a network of connected machines to securely collect and analyze data about consumers and venues across the United States.

3. Maude Okrah and Bonnti

Bonnti is a mobile platform which helps women navigate and simplify their hair experience. The site explains, "We understand ethnic hair is different and we want to empower women to have more choice when it comes to your hair." 

Okrah recently told Project Entrepreneur, "I’d love to see more women, especially women of color, dive deeper into the tech world and come up with solutions to solve the unique everyday problems we face. I’ve learned so much throughout this entrepreneurial journey that I’d be remiss not to share it with any other woman who even shows an inkling of interest in this field. I mentor a small group of women from my alma mater and the D.C. area, helping them navigate the challenges I faced when beginning on this journey."

4. Erin Horne McKinney and KissIntel 

Passionate about emerging technology and entrepreneurship, Erin Horne McKinney is the cofounder of Black Female Founders (#BFF) and KissIntel. KissIntel is the first mobile application to function as a "CRM for dating" by creating a platform where users can aggregate and track their dating lives, compare and rate dates and get instant feedback from their family and friends in real time. KissIntel’s proprietary date aggregator allows users to compile all their date options in one place. KissIntel revolutionizes the way people make dating decisions and creates an entirely new way to interact with potential partners by providing customized comparison and rating tools that tie into the user’s curated contact list and social network for immediate feedback from family and friends they trust. In addition to the end-user focused capabilities, KissIntel can offer its rating and comparison engines directly to online dating sites.

5. Esosa Ighodaro and Cosign

She's the woman who is making your photos shoppable. COSIGN connects you to your favorite brands and retailers in just one tap. COSIGN is the first app to make products in your photos ready-to-buy, turning your social media followers into customers and your style into a way to earn cash rewards.

After constantly asking herself, "where did she get that?" Ighodaro decided to come up with her own solution, creating an app to solve her shopping issues. CoSign serves as a mobile app that makes any product with an image shoppable on social media. As an added incentive, users can make a commission for every product purchased through the app.

In this new world, women save themselves. Have more amazing women we should be following? Share in the comments below!

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Me Too: The Create & Cultivate Staff Weighs In

Last Saturday, actress Alyssa Milano tweeted, "Suggested by a friend: If all the women who have been sexually harassed or assaulted wrote 'Me too' as a status, we might give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem." As Vice pointed out, via Ebony, “It was since revealed by Ebony that a campaign with the same name and aims, though without the social media virality, was initiated by a black woman named Tarana Burke ten years ago.” 

This has been building forever and magnitude doesn’t even begin to describe the situation. As one friend’s Facebook status asked: “So, every woman I know has been sexually harassed? Horrified.”

Me too.

You’ve seen a lot of it the last two days. Felt a lot of it in your gut. Maybe it's bringing up feelings you've avoided dealing with. Maybe you have "not me" too guilt, as one CEO texted me yesterday. Maybe you're wondering "does this count?" There’s no way to Bento Box this convo into neat little compartments. And the conversation around our office has been all over the damn place. We're going through the five stages of grief, surely, but we're also talking and sharing our stories. We happen to be a little intubated by C&C because we work with so many women. (We are, quite literally, a staff of 9 women.) Some of us (raises hand) have chosen to work with women because of such horrible work experiences with men. Is that the answer? Maybe not. 

But because we work in a safe space that doesn't mean we haven't experienced harassment both in and out of the workplace. 

#metoo. We're sharing. 

“Sorry I can’t help myself sometimes.”

When I was 21 I took a job at a marketing agency with two male co-founders and a mostly male staff, I was the only female employee. I was young and eager to please, this was my first job and I was just getting my work wheels in motion. I remember the first time it happened. I was leaving a meeting walking down 5th Ave. and my male colleagues were commenting on the client's breasts and how they couldn’t take their eyes of them and “mmmm” (grunt noise followed by an equally barf-y motion). I kinda just kept walking, put my head down and pretended not to hear but it kept happening. I would be in meetings and my boss would come stand behind me and press up right against my back and rub my shoulders, only to tell me he couldn’t stay for the meeting because he had a “hard out at 3.” The words, the motions, still make me want to vomit. I would mutter okay and keep looking at my notepad.  

All of these micro-aggressions led me to develop a defense mechanism, a “I'm one of the guys and I can handle this mentality,” that was equally sad and difficult to accept. It wasn’t until my next job, one where my boss, mentor and someone I admired took everything too far, did I do something different. It was my first big work trip, I was staying in a hotel room, in a different state, pitching a big company--  it was all so exciting! I remember going out for a steak dinner with my boss and clients (first work trip!) and having a glass of wine (on the client!) it was a new experience for me and then then clients sort of left. My boss and I stayed and the conversation turned to love lives. He kept telling me my boyfriend wasn’t good enough for me and I deserved better, all of this while his wedding ring was glistening in the steak house lights. I remember responding with a “yeah, cool. Totally. Im tired!” As we made our way back to the hotel room, we were both on the same floor (damnit), I walked toward my room and he slipped in front of me, “One more drink?” he asked. "Ummm I’m okay," I said. “ I have a suite,” he persisted. I said, "No, I'm tired," quickly swiping my hotel key and taking refuge in my room.  He me texted afterward: “Sorry I can’t help myself sometimes,” or something to the equally gross and not OK effect. This continued on and off for three months. After so much dodging and coming up with excuses to not meet, I had to find a new job. 

"I still remember his red sports car." 

At the time I was proud of my title...

"Teacher's pet." 

"Mr. so-and-so's favorite"

It was 5th grade and although it felt completely harmless at the time, when I think back on it now I cringe for the other girls who must have been made to feel like they were his favorite student (now knowing that such a title comes with a price).

The special treatment ranged from solo "field trips" to the zoo, 1:1 lunch outings (during the school day) and even after school hangouts at his house where he lived as a recent divorcee. (His daughter's presence, who was many years younger than me, must have given my mom the piece of mind she needed to allow this.)

I still remember his red sports car. I remember driving with him alone. I remember feeling prettier than the other girls in my class. I remember feeling smarter and more like-able. So much so that even during those few times where I felt nervous or anxious around him I told myself not to complain. Not to ruin it. 

Even years later, when a girl from my school publicly accused him of molesting her, I told myself it wasn't true.

Mr "so-and-so" could never do that. I remember thinking she was just be looking for attention. Even at that age, I blamed her. I made it her fault. Conversations about it with other classmates always started with, "Oh, come on" or "She's making it up." And yet they ended in "He wouldn't have, would he?"

I played memories over in my head. Recounted steps. Replayed our times spent alone. I wondered if I blocked things out. I still wonder if I did. I just wanted to be liked. I craved attention and in the process I turned my cheek (my very young, poreless cheek) to an older man who took advantage of his power and his influence. 

Male privilege, rape culture, victim blaming... It is engrained in our culture, even in the minds of 10 year old girls. I wish I could go back in time. I wish I could choose to say no to being "the favorite" I wish I hadn't believed it was special or that I was special because of it. Most of all I wish I could have hugged her. The girl who stood up for herself. I wish I would have told her it was not HER fault.

"Stay true to myself, hold my own."

I’ve been fortunate to join multiple teams where the majority of the staff is female. From the Keep A Breast Foundation to now C&C, they are led by empowering women who, over the years have taught me how to unapologetically stay true to myself, hold my own, and craft my voice in a way for it to be heard and respected. 

I’m also thankful for the experiences I’ve had with the men I’ve worked with, because they too valued my opinions and work, and never failed to see me as their equal. As we have seen from basically the beginning of mankind, I’ve been lucky. My time in the music industry, which is majorly known as a “boys club,” was also positive. But I have countless of female friends with shocking and heartbreaking stories.  While I can’t say “Me Too” in the workplace, I am disgusted and angry and will always say, “I believe you. I am here for you.”

“Ahhh yeah, I like the way you walk.”

Cars. I have a fear of them. I’ve had so many experiences minding my own business walking on a sidewalk or in a parking lot where a man or a group of men, usually twice my size and age, have pulled up next to me, hollering for me to come closer. 

*whistles*

“DAMN GIRL, YOU LOOKIN FINE."

“Ahhh yeah, I like the way you walk.”

“You look so exotic, let me get your number.”

etc, etc. It’s terrifying. Not flattering. But I put a polite smile on my face to not offend or anger them, as if I’M in the wrong. And I quicken my step hoping they don’t follow me. It’s exhausting to always have a guard up day and night. 

"If I was wearing a cheerleading uniform." 

When I was interning in NYC for a sports management company (super illegally - 0 payment or credit) the CEO use to make me attend “mandatory” Sunday work meetings where I had to travel over an hour to watch sports games with him and his friends at bars. Does that seem innocuous? Maybe to some, but looking back, was it beyond inappropriate. Definitely. 

More specifically, I cheered professionally throughout college. And I mean… If I was wearing a cheerleading uniform (which I wore for 15 years of my life) it was like I had a sign on my back that said men can feel free to touch me wherever you want. Professors, student athletes, co-ed teammates, strangers at games, guests at the president of the university’s house, coaches... I was fair game after the game to them. It's insane now when I look back at it. But it paid for college so it was something I put up with. Equally as crazy. 

"Will never work with men again." 

I used to work for major telecommunications company in the mid-west. It was all white men. Khaki men. They knew nothing about entertainment or lifestyle marketing, which is what I was brought in to do. 

I ended up getting laid off, replaced by a 55-year-old white man. And I swore when that happened I would never work for white men again. They were never sexually inappropriate, but they talked down to women all the time. I heard the phrase, “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” constantly. In large meetings and in small meetings. After that experience I knew I wanted to work for a female-owned company or a company where the senior leadership team was comprised mainly of women. 

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This Is the Best Way to Deal with Jealousy

The original version of this article appeared on Darling Mag. 

Written by: Renae Regehr

Let’s be brutally honest, do you ever feel like you are failing at not comparing yourself to others?

We have all had those thoughts and feelings as we open our social feed and scroll through Instagram, “Wow, she has so many new followers since yesterday [jealous feeling rears her head], but I should happy for her [uncomfortable jealous feelings are pushed down but continue to simmer].”

We continue to peruse and observe, “I can’t believe she is off in England for work again [feelings of longing show up], I wish my work took me to cool places too [now disappointment and jealous are simmering beneath the surface].”

And then we check our latest post, “How come only five people liked my last picture? [Disappointment creeps in], was it not as interesting as the other ones I posted?”

We scroll for 30 more seconds and then close the app. Even though we know that we should not compare our lives to social media, we have trouble brushing off those uncomfortable feelings, and we are feeling slightly less happy and satisfied with ourselves post Insta-scroll.  

Of course, we don’t want to fall into the comparison trap.

In fact, whenever we see, “Comparison is the thief of joy” or “Admire another woman’s beauty without questioning your own,” we wholeheartedly “like,” comment with a hands-up emoji and give a silent amen.

But the truth is, not comparing ourselves to others is actually really hard.

Why? Because our brains are wired to evaluate and judge the things we see around us. And it feels like we are fighting an uphill battle because social comparison is a natural part of our human development. So, what this means is that these good-intentioned inspo-phrases just become reminders of how easy it is to fall into, and stay in, the comparison trap unless we dig a little deeper and acknowledge what we are feeling.

It may seem surprising, as the steps we need to take might be counter-intuitive: 

1. Notice Your Automatic Thoughts

Let your automatic thoughts come as soon as you notice jealously or disappointment creeping in. In fact, write them down so you can see exactly what you are thinking.

For example, some observations might be, “I wish I had more followers,” or “I wish people were more engaged with what I wrote,” or “People never notice me.” These are immediate and automatic thoughts that we have no control over. Only after we allow these deeper, more vulnerable parts of us to be brought into the light can we actually start to work with them.

2. Acknowledge the Deeper Beliefs

As you look over your automatic thoughts, ask yourself, “What am I believing about myself based on these thoughts?” This process only works if we become honest with ourselves. An answer might be, “I’m going to be a useless writer unless people become more engaged with what I write,” or “I would be happier and more confident if I had more followers.”

3. Identify the Thinking Traps at Work

This step is crucial and liberating because we put our thoughts and beliefs to the test by identifying what they truly are. Every single person falls prey to unhelpful thinking traps, but the problem is when we get stuck in them.

Some common ones include: predicting the future, assuming we can read other people’s minds, thinking only in terms of entirely black or white, overgeneralizing everything to always be a certain way, disqualifying positive things that happen in our life, jumping to conclusions etc. Many of our uncomfortable thoughts fit into those traps, so start identifying which ones you are guilty of.

4. Use Evidence

Bring on the evidence that bolsters and refutes your deeper beliefs (as realized in step 2). For example: What is the evidence that supports you will be a more confident and happier person if you have more followers? What is the evidence that refutes the belief your happiness and confidence will increase based on more followers?

Don’t shy away from the evidence. And, it is almost guaranteed what we’ll find is that we have long lists of evidence that refute our unhelpful and perhaps, a little embarrassing beliefs.

5. Reframe

After all our thoughts and feelings have surfaced and curiously inspected, we can create more balanced thoughts in response to the initial automatic thoughts. Remember to keep these reframed thoughts realistic so that you actually believe them. For example, “It might feel special to be followed by others, but I feel most happy when I feel known and accepted by people who care about me.”

6. Take Action

Follow through with the appropriate and natural response action that needs to be taken.

By allowing all the parts of ourselves, including the envious feelings and uncomfortable thoughts, to be given a voice we can refute the unhelpful or untrue thoughts and can come to live more freely not hindered by thinking traps.

So the next time we notice jealously rearing her head, be curious about what thoughts and beliefs are underlying those feelings. As we embrace the uncomfortable through this aforementioned process, we’ll move beyond the comparison game and become attuned with what we really need and want in life.

What are the most common thinking traps you fall into?

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From Shitty To Pretty: 5 Things To Ask Yourself Before Buying A Fixer Upper

Let’s face it. With housing prices on the rise, buying a home already seems pretty insane -- especially in cities like Los Angeles, where the average home goes for $515,000 (and rent is supposed to increase by about 3% by 2019). 

For many who’ve caught the homebuying bug, the reality is that a fixer upper might be your only way into today’s hot market.

Fixers tend to be lower priced, sit on the market longer, and get less competitive offers. They require more creativity and elbow grease to see their potential. This means you could be getting a steal compared to your neighbors who just couldn’t live without that penny tile in the bathroom. P.S. No need for FOMO. Penny tile is easy to install.

While you’ve probably had your fair share of binging HGTV (do the words “open concept” and “shiplap” ring a bell?), scrolling through endless renos on Remodelista, and Insta-stalking your favorite home decor bloggers, turning a fixer upper from shitty to pretty can be super exciting and rewarding, but it’s no small task.  

Here are 5 questions you should ask yourself before buying your first hard hat. 

Is it worth the fix?

Ugly is easy to repair, but structural issues are a beast. Many people might pass on a home because it looks outdated, but their ‘nope’ is your moment to carpe that diem. Little touches like new paint, cabinet hardware, or ripping out nasty carpet in exchange for hardwood floors can go a long way. These cosmetic fixes are easier to DIY and budget for and will add instant value.  

On the flip side, be wary about homes with major issues like foundation problems. Unless you can negotiate with the seller for a credit, this could cost you tens of thousands to repair on something you can’t even see or enjoy. It’s not worth your stress or your hard earned money.   

Will you be able to maintain your lifestyle?

Owning a home isn’t fun if you become a slave to it. Margot Stephenson, founder of Someone Social, recently bought a fixer upper condo after spending seven months hunting for a cute cottage. “When I sat down and really made a budget, I looked at how it would affect my lifestyle and realized I’d have to stop everything and just hole up in my place.” Eventually, Margot opted to look at homes under her price range so she wouldn’t have to make sacrifices in her day-to-day life.  

A fixer could satisfy your home goals while preventing you from stretching yourself too thin. You’ll need more cash up front to help cover initial repairs you want to make, but a smaller loan means lower monthly mortgage payments so you can still have your grain bowl, and eat it, too.   

Is this your forever home or a for-a-few-years home?

Is the location, the one thing you can’t change, somewhere you could see yourself in for a long time? Maura Cottle, a Partner and Creative Director at Heatwaves Collective, knew that a fixer upper was the right choice because the location was a must. In order to get into their dream neighborhood, Maura and her husband Ken are taking on their remodel in small projects. “I have really big plans for this home, but I’ve made it what I need it to be until I get there. I love the neighborhood, so I’m really happy.”

But, if you know this isn’t a long term sitch, consider your future buyers. While you should always do you and put your needs first, don’t go crazy with the statement chandelier or the custom built-ins. Save that for when you find your dream casa, and opt for stylish yet budget-friendly upgrades that you know will add to your home value.

Can you & your wallet roll with the punches?

#Facts: remodeling your home will test your patience, make you question your sanity, and cause occasional fits of rage-slash-tears-slash-joy. As you uncover additional issues -- oh, hey weird old wiring that needs to be replaced and rotting floor boards -- it will inevitably take longer and cost more than you expect.

Apparently, time is a flat circle, especially when it comes to home renovations. If you have mad DIY skills, there’s lots of things you can tackle on your own, but know that even if you’re working with a contractor, weekend projects can quickly turn into month-long projects. You’re gonna need to take some deep breaths. Okay, a lot of deep breaths.

Do you have a ~*VISION*~?

If you’ve got an inner Kelly Wearstler just waiting to be unleashed, a fixer could be the perfect blank slate for you and give you the ultimate creative control and freedom to create your perfect place. “If we had spent more money on a move-in ready house, I would’ve slowly updated it anyways,” says Maura. “Now I don’t feel bad about tearing our bathroom apart.”

If getting lost in the details of exposed beams, vaulted ceilings, grout colors, and marble slab veining sounds like heaven to you, then a fixer upper would have more pros than cons. You’d be able to get type-A with it and pick every detail to your liking to build your ultimate dream pad.  

Angeline Vuong is VP of Marketing at Open Listings, a startup focused on making homebuying simple & more affordable. Ask her anything home-related: angeline@openlistings.com.  

photo credit: Monica Wang Photo

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We Need to Talk: Are You As Exhausted by Harvey Weinstein As We Are?

Are you exhausted? We’re exhausted.

Asking ourselves, what’s the point, when every day feels like Groundhog Harassment Day. The rotation of recordings. Men saying nasty shit. You don’t want to listen, but you press play anyway. And you shudder when you think about all of the one-sided conversations you’ve had that sound just. like. that. 

Is your head on your desk? Are you thinking about the times in your youth that someone harassed you and you said nothing. Are you angry at yourself for being too young or too scared to speak up. Mad for not knowing. Mad for knowing better and turning the other cheek anyway. Only to have it grabbed. Are you wondering, did you need that job that much. Did you stay on board for the health insurance. The financial security. Did you laugh it all off because that's how you showed up the next day. And the next.  

Are you wondering how much of yourself you've sacrificed for your career. How many other women have you sacrificed in the process as well. Are you thinking about the story your friend told you about her boss that referred to all female clients as cunts. Or the boss who said he’d love to take you to dinner to talk about your future at the company. The one who wanted to photograph you. Who needed you to come over late at night. Or the male colleague who got you fired when he found out you made more money than him. 

The news cycle about the allegations of rape and harassment against Harvey Weinstein are exhausting. It's likely bringing up years of shit you haven't thought about. Microaggressions. Maybe macro ones.  

We're just like you today. We don't want to read anymore, but we can't look away. We see ourselves in these stories and we keep wondering who will speak up next now that the gates have opened? 

It's OK to feel down. To feel exhausted. To wonder what's the point. 

Five minutes. 

Harvey Weinstein wanted Ambra Battilana Gutierrez to stay for five minutes. We want five minutes of peace.

So what's to be done?  

### 

Even though one in four women in the United States report experiencing sexism in the workplace, many incidents go unreported. Women fear losing their jobs, being seen as difficult, or think that a lawsuit will prevent them from securing another position. Women in high-level positions don't report harassment, especially when they work for larger companies, because they don't want the information to go public. Similarly, large corporations often settle in mediation to avoid the public shaming of the company name. Some companies have employees sign arbitration agreements upon hiring so that any future legal matters are handled privately.

So what are the best ways to handle and deal with sexism and harassment in the workplace?

SHOULD YOU CONFRONT THE PERP?

It's not your responsibility to school employees. Or teach anyone a lesson. But if you think standing up for yourself is the right move and shows that you can stand your ground professionally and personally, one of the best approaches is to ask the harasser to repeat what they said. The act of making someone repeat and joke or a comment and making clear that you don't find it funny is enough to make it stop. There are some fires that can be put out without dragging your boss into the mix. If confronting the situation head-on is not working, it's time to take next steps. 

KEEP A LOG 

If you are experiencing overt or subtle sexism in the workplace and you know a conversation or confrontation will only make it worse, start tracking it. There are jokes, comments about co-workers' appearances, and more that offend some and not others. If you are experiencing workplace fodder, harassment, or more, that makes you uncomfortable, you don't have to lie to kick it with your co-workers. Meaning: don't let the peer office pressure of being the one employee who doesn't find it funny stop you from tracking incidents. The sexual harassment suits that are taken the most seriously are those with the most data. 

BEING AFRAID TO REPORT IT IS OK. BUT REPORT IT.  

Report it to a supervisor you trust. If you work for a company that is large enough to have an HR department, take it to them. We know this is scary and that you're worried about losing your job. But ask yourself two very important questions: 1. Is any job worth feeling that uncomfortable? 2. Do you want to work for a company that doesn't take harassment complaints seriously? If they are willing to overlook and dismiss concerns of this nature, you can be sure that they do not value you as an employee. 

"Ask yourself: Do you want to work for a co. that doesn't take sexual harassment claims seriously?"

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WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU'RE STONEWALLED?

The reality is, many women who work in both the private and public sector have experienced sexism in the workplace. Part of the issue is that all companies outwardly profess support of women in the workplace as well as a zero tolerance policies regarding sexual harassment and discrimination. Behind closed company doors, it's a little different. If your concerns are going unaddressed and there are no disciplinary actions taken, it's time to talk to an attorney. An employer may be held liable for the conduct of the employee if the employer knew or should have known of the employee’s conduct and failed to take prompt remedial actions. The complaint should be made in person and in writing, and you should keep a copy of for your own records. In the complaint use the log you've created to state specific acts and dates and what effects the harassment is having on your job performance. 

Note: states have varying time limits on how far from the date of incident the lawsuit can be filled. You will also need to file with the Federal Government. You have three hundred days to do this. Most lawyers' fees come from a percent of your settlement or verdict. 

For more information on sexual harassment visit the U.S. Equal Opportunity Employment Commission to read the Policy Guidance Documents Related to Sexual Harassment.

Hollywood Roundtable: 4 Actresses Talk Sexism in Tinseltown

Given the recent reports of Harvey Weinstein's disgusting behavior, we are re-sharing this conversation, which took place this past July. 

What’s it like being a woman in Hollywood? It’s a frustrating (and surely, aggravating) question on many fronts. Well, it’s like any other industry. There are moments of extreme pride and accomplishment. There are moments of doubt. Moments of anger and rage at endless sexism. 

But we caught up with Natalie Morales, director, writer, and actress whom you'll see in the upcoming Emma Stone and Steve Carell flick, Battle of the Sexes, June Diane Raphael, actress, comedian, and writer who currently plays Jane Fonda's daughter and the CEO behind Lily Tomlin’s organic lube enterprise in the acclaimed Grace and Frankie, and Kulap Vilaysack, writer, actress, comedian, and the only female show-runner/EP alongside four male EP’s on Bajillion Dollar Propertie$ on Seeso to ask just that. 

left to right: June Diane in Grace and Frankie; Natalie Morales for Into the Gloss shot by Tom Newton; and Kulap Vilaysack.

So, what’s it like as a woman in Hollywood?

Natalie Morales: This is a question I get a lot and I’m never sure how to answer because I don’t know what it’s like to be a man in Hollywood. I feel great. I love my industry. I love what I do and I love the people I meet.    

June Diane Raphael: I love being a woman. And I love acting and writing and overall creating. Sometimes the combination of those two things can be frustrating, but being a woman is one of my favorite things to be!

Kuala Vilaysack: At the moment, I feel empowered and clear-eyed… Like Moana on the other side of the horizon. Now I know what you are thinking, “Kulap is very cool and accessible for connecting so strongly to an animated film made for children.” Thank you.

“At the moment, I feel empowered and clear-eyed… Like Moana on the other side of the horizon.”

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Do you ever think your job would be easier if you were a man?

Natalie: Definitely, but I think most jobs would be. For starters, I’d get paid more. So that makes it easier off the bat. Secondly, as in most jobs, people would take me more seriously. Especially as a director and writer. I’m sure there are a lot more reasons it’d be easier, but those are the big ones.

June Diane: I’m married to a man and we have very similar struggles (always wanting more out of our careers, always struggling with feeling “less than” as an artist) but I also have particular fears and concerns that (for me) feel specifically female (likability or lack there of, sexuality and too much of it/too little of it, reluctance to self promote) I think in general being a human (if you are awake to the experience) can be very challenging (men need healing for their role as oppressors/maintainers of the patriarchy as much as women need healing as the oppressed — we have both lost our humanity in this struggle). I feel this as a white person who benefits (through no merit of my own) from the white supremacist society we live in.  I don’t wish to be in someone else’s shoes, but I wish to dismantle the racist patriarchal society I live in as it both oppresses me and supports me. 

Kulap, you’re the only female show-runner/EP alongside four male EP’s on Bajillion Dollar Propertie$ on Seeso, has there been a time when it felt your gender held you back?

Kulap: No, probably because I have the final say on all matters concerning the show. Scott Aukerman, David Jargowsky, Thomas Lennon and R. Ben Garant continue to be incredibly supportive and I’ve benefited greatly from their experience and input. Fortunately, I’ve been afforded the space necessary to come into my own.

Do you have any specific anecdotes of gender bias?

Kulap: When we were interviewing department heads before production of Season 1, the old school men tended to direct their questions to the male seated beside me. I did not appreciate that. With four seasons of the show under my belt, I am glad to be past the craning of necks looking for the man in charge.

Natalie: I have had people tell me to my face, and mean it, that women are not as funny as men. And so they don’t hire women. This is a real thing. I have had people tell me to sit in the back of the 12 passenger van when I’m already in the front seat (I get car sick) because my male peer might like to sit in the front. I am 100% sure I have been paid less than most of my male co-stars for the same or more work. I have been thought of as a silly actress when I present work that I’m trying to direct or write. 

"I have had people tell me to my face, and mean it, that women are not as funny as men. And so they don’t hire women."

Tweet this. 

June Diane: Before pitching a feature film to a studio, an older male producer hid my index cards around the room while I went to the bathroom. When I returned, he had me play the “hotter colder” game while I walked around trying to find them. He then also requested I take off the blazer I was wearing to see my tank top. I complied. 

That all sounds truly awful. Where are the areas where Hollywood can make progress?

Kulap: We need more women in power/hiring positions in all aspects of the business. More men in these positions need to make it a priority to hire more women. Hire women. Recommend women. Advocate for women.

June: Every story shouldn’t have one black friend or one woman to create the illusion of inclusion. Diverse casts can support more than ONE!  The same goes for writer’s rooms. We need to look at this idea of “we just want to hire the best people for the job” and ask ourselves what that means.  Storytelling, at least in my experience, has been at it’s best with a million different perspectives and viewpoints and life experience.

Natalie: Equal pay, equal hire, be less afraid of women, understand that women-led movies and tv MAKE MONEY, be more intersectional with your support of women, cast out of the “ordinary”, give chances to female filmmakers who are small and starting out, encourage women to tell their own stories. 

So on the topic of sexism. Fun! Natalie, Battle of the Sexes is a timely movie. Women are living in the aftermath of demanding equality. What was it like being a part of telling that story?  

Natalie: It’s kind of terrible that it’s timely, isn’t it? But it somehow is. It somehow feels like we’ve been fighting for our rights for so long and some people have convinced themselves that we’ve won, but we haven’t. Not by a long shot. Sure, women in America have some things easier than in other countries, but we’re still so behind. It was wonderful to be a part of that story. To show people that weren’t around when this happened (like myself) that this fight is not new, it’s hard, and it’s worth it. 

Why do you think it’s important to tell now? 

Natalie: I think it will be important to tell for all of time. It’s important now because Billie Jean King accomplished something by fighting back. It gives us courage and tells us someone came before us. We can do it too. It will be important in the future, when hopefully rights are truly equal across the board, to tell the story of why then needed to fight for it.

Why do you think studios are reluctant to put as much money behind female-led movies? 

June Diane: The long-standing idea has been that male viewers will not care about female narratives while female viewers will care about male narratives. They fear “female led” movies will have a smaller audience and so they won’t make as much money. Wonder Woman disproves this theory as do the MANY MOVIES LED BY WOMEN THAT HAVE MADE MONEY AT THE BOX OFFICE.

Speaking of rights being truly equal across the board, do you think wage parity will become a reality in Hollywood?

Kulap: I sure hope so.

June Diane: Yes. 

Natalie: I am an optimistic person, despite my snarky tone. So I’m going to say yes. 

What needs to change to get there?

Kulap: A long road of greenlights to prove that our stories and our leadership have the same value. Better yet, an open highway.

June: I would love the major Hollywood agencies to start a real dialogue about this [wage parity]. I would also love every actor/writer/director to bring up wage parity in every conversation they have about what they are getting paid.  

June, you’re about to launch into some positive convo with your book The Badass Woman's Guide to Running for Office and Changing the World, coming out 2019. How are you badass and how do you want to change the world? 

I’m badass in that I’m a working mom. The end! But also because I’m committed to working hard to politically engage in my world. I’m calling my reps and showing up as much as I possibly can.  I am also doing the internal work (much harder and more painful)  to figure out where I can dismantle the racist heteronormative sexist ideology I have accepted unconsciously.   

“I’m badass in that I’m a working mom. The end!”

Tweet this.

How do you reconcile the liberal face of Hollywood against the ageism and sexism that exists?

June Diane: I don’t reconcile it! I am working hard to change it.  

Natalie Morales: I don’t [either]. I don’t know how. The most I can say is that I don’t work with the sexists. I’m lucky enough to be able to afford not to. I can turn down a role if I don’t like it. I will work hard to give women jobs so that they can turn down roles if they don’t like them too. 

Let’s end this end on a positive note. What have you seen in your industry that excites you?

June Diane: I love what Zoe Lister-Jones just did with Bandaid (hiring an all female crew). I’m so used to seeing so many men on sets I find the idea exciting and I would LOVE to work with an all female crew.  

Natalie: Opportunity for women, and successful women extending a hand to younger, less experienced women.

Kulap: Social media continues to shine a bright light on gender and racial bias, pushing us forward to be representative of the country as a whole.

It’s been thrilling to see badass girlfriends of mine, wearing hats on top of hats and getting their projects produced. Shout out and shine on June Diane Raphael, Casey Wilson, Danielle Schneider, Andrea Savage, Jessica St. Clair, Lennon Parham, Naomi Scott… this list too goes on and on, but not long enough.

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5 Reasons to Get a Jump on Nabbing Your Create & Cultivate LA Ticket

We're no sellouts, but we do sell out conferences. And, if you've been paying attention to Create & Cultivate for a while, we have a tendency to drop a final keynote name after tickets are already gone. 

So we're counting down the top 5 reasons you should hit Add to Cart and then Add LA 2018 to you calendar. 

#5 REMEMBER SEATTLE. REMEMBER YOUR FOMO?

If you were sleeping after Seattle thinking about the amazing conference you missed, we don't want that to happen again. Insomnia is no one's friend. From the amazing "Woman with a Plan" installation to the women WITH plans on the stages, it was 

#4 OK. WE DON'T WANT TO RUB IT IN, BUT REMEMBER SEATTLE? REMEMBER ISSA RAE?

We announced Issa Rae as keynote after tickets were already gone. We're not gonna say this is our strategy, but it's worth paying attention. In New York, we announced Gloria Steinem after tickets were sold out as well. It's a pattern. We might repeat it. Ya never know. 

#3. FIRST COME, FIRST MENTORED 

Our mentor power hours are legendary. And when you purchase a VIP ticket you get first selects at mentors before they fill up. VIPs also get to select their track. Don't wait. You want to be able to make the most of this life-changing day. 

#2 OUR LINEUP IS ALREADY STELLAR, AND IT'S DAY ONE

'Cause we're your day one conference. And we've got Lauren Conrad, Aimee Song, Jessamyn Stanley, Chriselle Lim, and Justina Blakeney-- to name a few boss women. They will be dropped their best life and career advice. And we've got so much for coming soon. 

(+ our stage game is always tight.)

#1 IT'S OUR HOME TURF, SO YOU KNOW WE'RE GONNA BRING OUR A+ GAME

There's something about playing on your home court where the stakes feel higher. The crowds are louder. The excitement is next level. So you bring it. You bring it home. #CreateCultivateLA is going to be a game-changer. We can't reveal everything quite yet, but you're in for some major reveals. 

Worried about the funds? Here are ways to pitch your boss to pay for C&C. We promise you (and them) it's worth the company's while. 

HIT THE LINK HERE TO GRAB TICKETS FOR #CREATECULTIVATELA

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How to Own Your Glow During the Most Dysfunctional Season of All

In her new book, OWN YOUR GLOW: A Soulful Guide to Luminous Living And Crowning The Queen Within, Latham Thomas talks about how, "Personal growth is not about how much you accumulate but how much you release." In the book, Thomas, who is also the creator and mama guru at Mama Glow, offers an antidote to the hustle-hard/burnout fast culture, instead suggesting a slower and intentional pathway to empowerment. 

When it comes to our careers (and our career fears), "releasing" might sound like some NO_WAY_NOT-HAPPENING kind of advice. (If the idea of that has you clenching your fists, this read is def for you.) After all, we want to accumulate: titles, raises, praise. Right? Well, what if we flipped the script a bit? Especially during the upcoming holiday season when we can all get a little... antsy, to put it nicely. Because the holidays are hard. On everyone. We don’t take care of ourselves and contrary to glowing xmas tree lights, we all tend to DIM A LIL BIT. 

Own Your Glow, is the ideal way to stay on life track and a way to stay bright-eyed and bushy-tailed as we close out 2017.  So we asked Latham to talk about what she dubs “The Core Four,” as  they relate to career and the workplace.

Latham tells us: 

I encourage you to start asking yourself probing and productive questions to unlock hidden tendencies and obstacles and identify parts of yourself that need a little more glow so you can step more prominently into your power. When you construct your questions, use what I call “the Core Four”: who, what, when, and how. Here are some questions I invite you to explore as you reflect on your journey professionally.

When we are ready to facilitate change and up level our lives to harness what lies ahead we naturally take stock of what’s already on our plates and what we need to increase for our abundance and what we need to release. 

Who am I holding on to by attracting people who don’t serve my highest good?

When we anchor ourselves in soil that is seeded with people who aren’t vested in our success, who don’t value our gifts and who are committed to catty competition, we replay the same patterns and experience the same lack of growth personally and professionally. Who deep down inside are we afraid of loosing, or becoming by keeping the wrong company? Find your flock. Invest time with people who make you feel more radiant who serve as a catalyst for the good in your life. This can be in the form of mentorship or sponsorship, a sister circle of friend supporters, a group mastermind or an online private group.

"Invest time with people who serve as a catalyst for the good in your life."

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What do I gain by remaining stuck in the same situation or circumstances?

It’s easy to adhere to the stories we tell ourselves about our circumstances. Why is it that I can’t seem to advance in my position? Sometimes staying in the same position or lingering in circumstances that we’ve outgrown serves as a comfort zone and an impediment to our personal growth. Sometimes being stuck feels most comfortable since it’s familiar. What would we gain if we moved past our comfort zone professionally speaking? What would it look like to put more on your plate, not task wise but risk wise? A quick way to jump forward past your circumstances is to embrace risk and commit to doing what scares you. Take on a project that will help you spread your wings, activate a team of supporters and show off a ton of your skills. 

When do I feel my best, and what is keeping me from following that feeling?

Self-care is about assessing what supports you at the deepest level and honoring those feelings and responding with rituals and making space for yourself to rest and recharge. A strong self-care practice sharpens our discernment and we learn what supports us and what depletes us. When we feel our very best we make choices aligned with that sense of well-being. Knowing what actions lead to you feeling your best will help you stay on track with moving towards your goals and achieving them. 

"A strong self-care practice sharpens our discernment."

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How have I constructed my life to follow other people’s rules? 

It’s important to explore the paradigms we operate within. We have been indoctrinated to be kind, to keep in line, to follow the rules and always say 'yes' and please everyone else at the expense of our own well-being and happiness. Where do you need to excavate these patterns that are rooted in a lack of self-awareness? What are the building blocks of beliefs you’ve used to construct your life? What needs to crumble for you to succeed? I decided to stop following the rules a long time ago and my life has been prosperous ever since. 

Want more? Grab your own copy of OWN YOUR GLOW: A Soulful Guide to Luminous Living And Crowning The Queen Within by Latham Thomas

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You Should Really Consider This Before Giving a Friend a Referral

photo credit: Turkan Najar 

Referrals are a huge part of our society. We see them everywhere from Yelp to Facebook to LinkedIn, and however you look at them, they are incredibly important. When a trusted friend tells you about a business, you transfer that trust to the company, and similarly, when a trusted acquaintance refers you to a person, you then transfer your trust into the referral.

When you refer someone, you put your own name on the line

When you refer a friend, you’re not only putting them up for scrutiny, but you’re putting yourself up for it as well. If you refer someone that clearly isn’t a good fit for the company, it can suggest two main things:

1. It suggests that you haven’t done any research on the company and what the company is looking for in an employee.
2. It suggests that you really don’t know the person that well, so it weakens your referral.

Either option reflects badly on you. If you’re going to refer someone, it’s important to do your research so you feel truly confident that they could be a good fit for the company.

Similarly, you want to ensure that you believe in someone’s work ethic and quality of work prior to referring them to someone. It’s impossible to control other people’s actions, but the reality is that if someone doesn’t work out or someone makes a bad impression at work, you’re probably going to think about who referred them in the first place. This is part of the reason why that referral from a friend is such a big deal. They’re putting their own reputation on the line along with yours.

You truly don't know what someone is like at work until you actually work with them

People can be very different in and outside of the office, and ultimately you never truly know how someone acts at work until you’ve seen it first-hand. GlassDoor estimates that being referred by someone at the company boosts your chance of successfully landing a job as high as nearly 7%. This makes a big difference during the job search, but it can be tough for someone to refer you when they haven’t seen your work ethic.

"You don’t truly know what someone is like at work until you actually work with them."

Tweet this.

If you are asking a friend or acquaintance for a referral, make sure that you can show them that you’re worth it. Their name and reputation is on the line just as much as yours is, so do your best to highlight why you’re the right fit for the position. If you can show them what you’ve accomplished in your career and what you would like to accomplish at the company, that is ideal.

It can set you up for an awkward situation if things don’t work out

One of the hardest parts about referring someone or getting a referral from a friend is that it can make for some awkward conversations if things don’t go as planned. Going back to the fact that you don’t know how someone acts at work unless you’ve worked with them, you might be surprised to hear that a friend had a low work ethic or another less than ideal quality. It can also be hard to tell a friend that the person they referred made a bad impression. While this isn’t the end of the world, this is why asking for or giving a referral for a friend is such a big deal. 

Acknowledge the fact that if someone is giving you a referral, they are confident enough in you to risk their reputation or some potentially awkward conversations down the line. On the opposite end, it is important to acknowledge the risk and make sure you are confident in your choice when you are referring a friend.

________________

Ultimately, referrals make a huge difference when looking for a job or looking for a candidate to hire, but they can be risky for the person who is giving the referral. If someone is willing to give you a referral, it means that they have confidence in you, so it’s important to do your best to uphold that. Referrals mean that both the referrer and the referral get judged, and this is what you need to consider before you ask for or give a friend a referral.

A native San Franciscan, Michele Lando is a Certified Professional Resume Writer and founder of writestylesonline.com. She has a passion for helping others present the best version of themselves, both on paper and in person, and works to polish individuals' application package and personal style. Aiming to help create a perfect personal branding package, Write Styles presents tips to enhance your resume, style, and boost your confidence.

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Why Ban.do's CCO Says There's No Shame In The Hustle Struggle

Our girl Jen Gotch is back with her business advice series. This week, the CCO of ban.do + breakout star of Instagram stories is answering your burning questions on the infamous work-life balance. One of our favorite pieces of gold from JG? "There shouldn't be any shame in the struggle of doing what you LOVE!"

Check the videos below for more gems on pursuing your passions! 

Q: HOW DO I PERSEVERE TOWARDS MY GOALS + BALANCE CAREER AMBITIONS WITH MENTAL HEALTH/STRESS?

Q: HOW DO YOU PREVENT YOURSELF FROM BURNING OUT?

Jen also designed a super soft, short sleeve t-shirt as a little tribute to her advice series and 15% of the proceeds will be donated to writegirl, an la-based creative writing and mentoring organization that promotes creativity, critical thinking and leadership skills to empower teen girls.