Why It's OK If Your Passion Is Your Part-Time Job RN

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While we wish it were otherwise, most of us don’t have the luxury of pursuing our creative passion as a full-time job. Whether we love painting or pouring candles, writing or dancing, event planning, or photography, the truth is that we don’t often make a living from those passions. Instead, we find pockets of time to shadow those desires on the weekends, the evenings, and often when we could be sleeping. We read articles and books about our hobbies and spend our money on the passion we love so dearly. But we aren’t waking up every morning to head to a studio or the craft room or the keyboard. Instead, we get up and work at jobs that don’t set our hearts aflame.

There were a lot of years where I bemoaned my lack of time to pursue my passion. I’m a writer at heart, a woman who comes alive with the tap of keys on the keyboard, a woman who could spend hours each day whittling down a paragraph until it sings with the vibrancy of power and precision. But for most of my adult life, I’ve been a writer in the margins, pulling out my laptop in the evenings or on the weekends, taking twenty minutes over lunch or an hour after work to finish an article or pen a chapter.

And for a while, I thought I was missing out. I spent my best hours, I believed, working as an administrative assistant, and later as a teacher—for ten years. I gave those “normal” work hours to jobs that I deeply valued but that didn’t necessarily hit the sweet spot of all of my dreams and passions. I supposed that because I wasn’t a full-time writer—a full-time creative—I wasn’t doing the beautiful, meaningful work that I could be doing if only I had the time.

I was wrong.

I can say that because, in many ways, I’m on the other side of the proverbial fence now; I work as a writer and writing coach. I’m a full-time creative—well, as full-time as I can be while also being a wife and mother, and being primarily at home with my toddler. But I’m making a living as a writer, and when I’m working at my job, it’s (mostly) in my creative sweet spot.

And I have learned that I’m not more creative because I have more time. I’m not even convinced that I’m producing “better” work because I have more hours to work in.

In fact, what I’m realizing now is that the necessary boundaries that most of us live in—our jobs, our responsibilities, the hours we give to mothering and laundry-folding and meal-making and grocery shopping—those boundaries are actually gifts to us if we will receive them that way. Having to squeeze our passions into the margins of our lives is a good, good thing.

Because when we don’t have endless amounts of time to do what we deeply love, the hours that we do have become more precious. We see that time to chase our creativity as the gift that it is—as an opportunity and not as a right. And so those hours in the margins are often charged with the electricity of a soul on fire, a soul finally getting to release her passion onto the canvas, or on the page, or into the dance. Deep creativity is born in that place.

When the margin for our deepest passions is small, then the pull and stretch of time and longing can actually birth something new in us—an urgency and ingenuity that might not be found otherwise. It is the tension of wanting to do more of what we love and simultaneously not being able to always do it that often stokes the fires of passion for our craft.

So let us re-frame how we see our responsibilities and our jobs throughout the day. The time away from the explicitly creative side of our brain—at our jobs or in the daily tasks at home—these “normal” routines give our imagination time to rest and bubble in other ways. Let us see that our responsibilities aren’t necessarily keeping us from our creative work. Instead, they might actually be helping us by stretching our skills of analysis and interpretation and repetition, things that will also help us as we pursue our “passion in the margins.”

Ultimately, the amount of time that we have to do our creative work isn’t the most important part of any formula for being productive and inventive. It’s the heart behind it that matters.

Because if we can faithfully live well in our other jobs and roles, then when we come back to our creative endeavors we can attend to those desires with the intensity of a mind working to pour all of its energies into a small space. Because, for the creative spirit, ideas and insights are always churning beneath the surface, and they will spark beautifully in whatever time we can offer them.

What are you working on “in the margins” right now?

An original version of this article appeared on Darling and has been reposted with permission. Written by Ann Swindell.

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This story was originally published on April 25, 2016, and has since been updated.

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Two CEOs Walk Into a Conference Room

The original version of this article appeared on Darling. 

Darling and Create & Cultivate have a long-standing relationship. Some might even call it a BFF-work friendship, seeing as CEO Sarah Dubbeldam of Darling and Jaclyn Johnson CEO of C&C have been friends for over five years. 

So when Darling thought it would be fun for the two of them to get together, and have a quick catch-up, we thought, of course! What's better than getting real IRL? 

Sarah, with and Darling managing editor Teresa Archer stopped by our West Hollywood office to meet up with Jaclyn and talk a little about why we love women, supporting female-owned companies, and the memories from the early days.

Teresa Archer: At the beginning of where you started, did you envision where you were going?

Jaclyn Johnson: It’s so funny because I always think the best businesses have no business plan. For me, when I started it was purely happy accident. I got laid off of my job before I started No Subject and the only way to go is up from rock bottom.

I always tell people, for me, it wasn’t like “I have a business plan, I have all this outreach.” It completely happened naturally and the way it was supposed to. Similarly, with C&C I was really young. I was 23, I didn’t know a lot about starting a business. I was the creative, I had all these ideas but I didn’t know about taxes and cash flow — all those things as a business owner you need to know about. So I hit a lot of trials and tribulations early on and really C&C manifested from that. I really wanted to start a community where freelancers could get together and ask, “What are you doing?” and “What’s working for you?”

So it really started out more DIY and retreats, but morphed based on my personal experiences and also the ones I heard from the other women. I saw women really need this advice, they really need a community where it’s giving you hard-hitting facts but also looks like something you want to be a part of; not a gross conference room or a legal zoom.

There’s this drawing of “the path to success” and it shows everybody thinks it’s A to B, but in actuality it’s all winding and crazy and it’s true! I mean we [Sarah and I] have known each other forever and I feel like it’s so funny to see your friends skyrocket like this. Six years ago we were like, “We have ideas!” Now, we have companies!

… the only way to go is up from rock bottom.

Sarah Dubbeldam: Yeah, we started with our mission statement which was just this concept of somehow the world being better. Originally I wanted to write a book, but we thought people have already written books about this kind of thing, so what’s a continual conversation? And we landed on a magazine.

From the beginning I wanted it to be a blog and a magazine. There wasn’t social media then, that came later. We always knew we wanted to do retreats and events and video was kind of a small inkling in my mind and I didn’t know how to do it. I was kind of the opposite [to Jaclyn] I was like, “I need a business plan!” I was an art major and I”m a creative, visionary person and I didn’t know how to do that so I partnered up early on with some people who were business majors at my college.

It was always so complicated and terrible. I had 95 versions of the plan on my computer and I was Googling “business plans” and I’d download these PDFs. Super extensive and some even said, “You just need a 1-sheet and charisma…”

JJ: [laughing] A 1-sheet and charisma! Amazing!

SD: Yeah, I was really confused about how to actually start. Same thing as you, though, we just started online content, which led to the print. It was about taking advantage of opportunity. You have to focus and figure out the shortest path to helping the business grow. That’s the hardest thing: not getting sideswiped by ideas that aren’t what you should be focusing on. Now we’re going into video because its just the most natural next step from the magazine. Darling has become a media company so that we can reach out past print and keep the dialogue we’ve started going in a really active way.

You have to focus and figure out the shortest path to helping the business grow.

TA: Awesome. What’s each of your most precious memories of the early days?

JJ: It’s funny; things sometimes happen at such warp speed that we’ll joke and talk about, “Remember that office we had that was so teeny and weird slash under construction the whole year we were there?” There are so many moments where you never think in a million years you’ll end up where you’ll end up.

I remember getting so excited about signing deals that were $2,000 and I was like, “We’re rich!” I always tell people when you’re first getting started to enjoy the beginning because once you are in it, you are IN it and you can’t even get your head up for five seconds to say, “We’re doing a great job, congrats!”

It’s always so funny to look back on, like original logo ideas. It’s horrifying! But it’s kind of the best, because you think “I can’t believe this is what I did.” All the archives show how far you’ve come.

SD: I think that my best memory of those days is shipping magazines out of my living room…

JJ: Oh, amazing!

SD: Yeah. We had like a million padded mailers in our living room, all the way to the ceiling, tables set up and our interns coming to ship them from our home. Our landlord even came and said, “You’re running a business out of your house, I’m gonna kick you out!”

The second memory is when Anthropologie emailed us to buy magazines and we didn’t know what to do. They ordered a magazine and one day we put a shipping label on that said, “Anthropologie Headquarters.” We realised that they had emailed us and were trying to buy magazines on our site but we had no wholesale set up. They were our first big retailer.

All the archives show how far you’ve come.

TA: Ok, last question. What do you each love about the other person’s brand and company?

JJ: Oooh I love this question! I am obsessed with Darling’s aesthetic, I feel like it’s very on point. I feel like there are very few brands you can look at and say, “That’s so Darling.” You’ve done such an amazing job, from the magazines to the dinners to the photo shoots to the website. You’ve built a brand that has such a feeling, an emotion and cinematic quality to it. I feel like that’s very hard to do, it’s so crowded in the market, it’s hard to differentiate yourself, but that’s what you guys have done.

SD: Thank you! Likewise, because I’m such a visual person I remember first going to your website and remember the colors, the bold font. It’s so clear what you do as a vision. From the beginning it was such a clear mission.

And your events are just gorgeous! I mean, even looking at your Instagram you get such a feeling of, “I wish I was there!” Your attention to detail is just perfect, from invites to the promoters you choose, you’ve made C&C be the coolest “next big thing.” It seems the coolest thing to be at for women in business and influence. You’ve really branded yourself as “We’re the best at this.”

So there you have it. We really, really like them and they like us. Stay in contact with Darling and check them out at Darling Magazine. 

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Why It’s Important to Have Women in Your Life Who Succeed

Source: Darling Magazine

Looking back over my teens and twenties, I realized that many of my close friends happened to be strong, successful women. I don’t know if I was drawn to them because of how inspiring they were or if our paths just collided that way, but one thing I know is that their influence in my life has helped shape me into who I am.

Aren’t you always fascinated by what makes people the way they are? What is it that successful women do differently that sets them apart? I think the best way to find this out is to surround yourself with them; people who are just being amazing at life, and who will encourage you to be amazing at it, too! There’s a lot to be said for humbling yourself and gleaning from someone who’s living out their dreams already; their wisdom is invaluable.

Learning how to celebrate other women’s successes is a beautiful quality and something that will benefit everyone involved, but it’s not always easy. Sometimes, instead of feeling inspired we can feel insecure, or even jealous. We’ve all been there, and it’s an easy trap to fall into. If you find yourself in this situation, don’t beat yourself up. It’s what you choose to do with those feelings that really matters. Try countering your negative thoughts by acting in the opposite way; this is powerful and can help you to form new habits.

Having women in our lives who are going after something big, who are believing in who they are, and who are using their strengths encourages us to do the same. By embracing their achievements we can let their stories become models for our own successes.

Here’s why I think we need successful women in our lives:

They inspire us.

Often successful women are full of innovative ideas. They think creatively and don’t let themselves be limited by what others say can or can’t be done. They’re good for exchanging ideas with, and can give us valuable tips that could have taken us years to learn. Usually, these women are doing something they’re passionate about and naturally want to share their inspiring stories with us. They take risks and expect us to, as well.

We become like them.

Who we surround ourselves with is a good indicator of who we will become. Women who are good at what they do often got there by surrounding themselves with others who were already achieving. These type of women will most likely push us to be our best and to accomplish more than we might on our own. Whether our dream is to become a CEO of a large company, a nurse, or a mother, we will be a benefit by being around women who are living it out already.

"Who we surround ourselves with is a good indicator of who we will become."

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They understand us.

Every successful woman started somewhere and has probably been where we are at some point in their journey. They might just know the next step we need to take. High achievers have usually learned a lot about the work-life balance and may be able to offer advice and wisdom that we can apply to our own lives. They often understand the struggle and challenges involved in getting where we want to be and can offer guidance.

They motivate us.

In order to move forward, we need to have motivation. Women who are successful are often action-oriented, which can give us just the kickstart we need. They are natural problem solvers and can offer practical solutions to our challenges or situations.

They see what we will be.

Women who are succeeding generally have high expectations of themselves and others; when people expect a lot from us, we tend to live up to it. Having women in our lives who see the best in us can be a huge factor in our success. These type of women can often see talents and skills that we might not be able to see in ourselves and can help to draw them out.

From my experience, there is a richness to opening ourselves up in vulnerability to those who we are inspired by. Their confidence and passion is contagious, so let’s start an outbreak of women who believe in their own greatness.

"Confidence and passion is contagious, so let’s start an outbreak of women who believe in their own greatness."

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Who would you consider to be a woman like that in your life?

This piece originally appeared on Darling Magazine.

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The Best Financial Decisions to Make in Your 20s

Image credit: Becca Tapert

Mortgage-backed securities, sub-prime loans, traunches…. It’s pretty confusing, right? Does it make you feel bored or stupid? Well, it’s supposed to. Wall Street loves to use confusing terms to make you think that only they can do what they do. – “The Big Short”

Savings. Does the word send shivers down your spine?

As a Millennial, the (credit) cards may feel hopelessly stacked against you. Everyone said “go to college and a good job will easily follow.” No one prepared you for entering the workforce in the wake of The Great Recession. No one warned you about how long student loans would follow you. No one explained how truly tight life is on a entry-level salary. Living paycheck-to-paycheck often seems like the only way to keep your head above water. However, if you can master the art of saving at a young age, not only are you setting yourself up for a secure future, but you’re also building a powerful muscle of financial self-control.

Disclaimer: I am not a financial professional, just a young person who has worked to gain basic financial literacy.

Build an Emergency Fund

To move away from the paycheck-to-paycheck panic, focus on building an emergency fund. Truly audit your life, exploring what short-term sacrifices you can make. Brew your own coffee instead of buying a fancy latte. Funnel your entire tax refund directly into savings. Sell personal items you no longer use. Surely there’s something you can sacrifice, even $10 a week is better than nothing. You never know when you’ll have a medical emergency or car failure or suddenly become unemployed. However, the one constant with emergencies is they will happen to everyone.

Recommendations vary for emergency fund goals, but most advisers recommend saving 3-7 months’ worth of living expenses. Start small, focusing on just saving $1000. After your first $1000, shift gears to save the next $1000. Breaking this into small goals will make this feel more manageable.

Credit Cards

Don’t. Just don’t. There’s so much to be said on the topic of credit cards: How high interest rates will be your demise. That you should always pay them off in full. You don’t need more than one. You should avoid any with annual fees.

Credit spending will undermine your saving goals. If you’re drowning in credit card debt, then focus on paying off the highest interest rate debts first. Cut up the cards and throw them away. Paying off your 17% interest rate card is a 17% guaranteed return on investment for those dollars, way better than the return on a boozy brunch.

Start Saving for Retirement

Financial professionals everywhere advocate the value of starting a retirement account in your 20s. Touting the power of compounding interest, you’ll vastly multiply your investment if you start saving at 25 versus at 35. Once your emergency fund is healthy enough to protect you from catastrophe, start saving for retirement.

401(k)s – Employers regularly provide 401(k)s and often offer matching programs. Matched funds are basically free money, so sacrifice as much as you can from your paycheck to take full advantage of these. Not doing so means leaving cold hard cash on the table.

Personal Retirement Accounts – If your workplace doesn’t offer 401(k)s, consider opening a personal retirement account. There are many options: IRA, Roth IRA, HSA’s, etc. Talk to a personal investor about your best option, but make sure your investor is a “fiduciary,” which means they’re legally obligated to act in your best interest.

"No one explained how truly tight life is on a entry-level salary."

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Start Saving for Goals

After establishing an emergency fund and retirement savings, you can now save for life’s big purchases. Maybe you want to buy a car, go on vacation, or plan for your wedding. When your friends post magical pictures of what’s going well in their life, it’s easy to get caught in the Instagram jealousy game. Don’t forget, they had to pay for that photo, and many them are doing so with credit cards. No amount of Instagram likes will feel better than paying for a major purchase in-full and with cash.

Be Smart with Extra Income

If you get a raise, bonus or any other unexpected extra income, divert that directly into savings. You’ve already figured out how to live at your current salary. You won’t even notice the difference, but your savings will thank you for the bump.

Fall in Love with Finance

Recently over dinner with my best friend, she mentioned how she’s become fascinated with finance and loves talking about retirement plans with her co-worker. I enthusiastically revealed that it’s also become so exciting to me. We’re total finance nerds.

"No amount of Instagram likes will feel better than paying for a major purchase in-full and with cash."

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There’s a whole world of helpful resources out there to self-educate yourself on personal finance.

If financial personalities interest you and you want to know, “can I afford it?” Suze Orman is a hoot. Dave Ramsay also educates with charisma, breaking financial freedom down into digestible baby-steps.

Maximize your daily commute by listening to economic podcasts. Planet Money and Freakanomics make big economic theories personal by connecting humanized stories to tales of dollars and cents. The Minimalists focus on living within your means and pepper amazing financial wisdom throughout.

If you prefer films, The Big Short is fascinating. Last Week Tonight often covers finance while also cracking you up, like this segment on Retirement Accounts. If you prefer documentaries, check out Frontline: The Retirement Gamble.

Surround yourself with the vocabulary of economic theory and personal savings and before long you’ll become fluent in finance. You might just fall in love with savings.

Do finances overwhelm or excite you?

An original version of this article appeared on Darling. Written by: Talitha Baker.  

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3 Ways to Maintain Excellence in the Workplace

The words that every eager job seeker yearns to hear amidst ongoing applications and interviews are: You’re hired.

The relief that comes when the human resources department of your desired company calls and informs you that you’ve been selected for the position is positively overwhelming. A megawatt smile stretches its way across your face and you liken your emotions to The Little Engine That Could.

But after dedicating a significant amount of time to the position and mastering the ins and outs of the workplace — and observing the politics of the business — you begin to notice that you are exceeding the expectations of the role and are not being properly compensated for it. Whether the sought after compensation is verbal praise, an increased salary, leniency on hours, or additional gifted days off, your toleration threshold has lowered and the undervalued itch begins to scratch.

Though it can be easy to complain to coworkers, abandon your role and run for the hills of another company, slack off in your position, or unashamedly and inappropriately wear your emotions on your sleeve, none of these quick fixes allow you to nurture one of the most valuable and respected employee traits: character.

As eager and driven employees, our goals are set to move from point A to point B as quickly as possibly. While drive is necessary and healthy, the workforce journey is much more than just an increased annual salary and a title change on your business card. The ups and downs that your career will take you on can teach and refine you as an individual … if you let them. Character is so rarely praised, yet is integral in leading a healthy staff and propelling a business for success.

"...the workforce journey is much more than just an increased annual salary and a title change on your business card."

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In your waiting to switch jobs or for increased compensation, and between those moments of great exasperation and defeat, choose to build and strengthen your character. From character, excellence overflows and the desire to endlessly perform to your best becomes priority.

Here are three ways to maintain excellence in your workplace:

WORK TOWARD YOUR NEXT JOB

Though you may feel you’ve mastered all you can in your current position, challenge yourself with tasks that can translate over to your next job. If you finish a task early, ask your boss for additional projects that you can apply your own creativity to. Be willing to extend yourself outside of what you know and learn skills that your next position may require. Keep in mind that your portfolio is a reflection of you, so be proud of what you showcase to future employers and perfect as many skills as possible in your present position.

LEAVE A COMPANY ON A POSITIVE NOTE

The last way that you would want an employer to remember you is negatively. You may be in the process of interviewing for outside positions, but intentionally maintain a positive attitude while at your current company. You have worked hard in your role and want the option of listing your supervisor as a reference further on down the line. Industries are small and your path with current employees may cross later on, so choose a positive attitude that reflects integrity and character.

REALIZE THAT LIFE IS MORE

 It can be easy to find self-worth in your job title and salary, but true meaning and purpose are not dependent on your resume or monetary worth. People are why the workforce functions, so focus on nurturing and maximizing those relationships and networks. If there is an individual at your company that you admire, grab lunch with them and pick their brain. Perhaps you have a coworker that is struggling with something outside of work — ask them how they’re holding up and invite them out for coffee. You may never be in the same circles again with the people that currently surround you, so maximize the time that you have with them.

Though the feeling of defeat can overtake us at times, seek the positive in your current role. Character is widely valuable to you as an individual and is something that can never be taken away by an employer, no matter how undervalued they make you feel. Strive to attain it.

Have you struggled in certain role at work? What did you learn from it?

The original version of this article appeared on Darling Magazine. 

Image via Marlena Pearl Photography

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What to Do When You Feel Stuck in Your Career

Sometimes it hits us slowly – you haven’t been promoted or learned anything new in the role. Other times it can be more obvious – perhaps you’ve been seeing new people brought in above your role when you have been working hard to move up in the company.

What do you do when you hit the vocational wall?

Reaching a point where you feel stuck in your career can be very discouraging. It’s important you know when you’re ready to move up the ladder and why you should make the move up.

Are you developing in your current role?

Some careers require you to be constantly working to learn and master more skills. Recently, I was watching the show Grey’s Anatomy and I was so struck by how the doctors had a desire (and a professional need) to continually better their skills and gain more responsibility. It made me notice how important learning is in one’s career if you want to be moving up the ladder.

Consider how lawyers are required to continue their education and pass regular benchmarks in order to retain their licenses. For chefs, artists, and other creative professionals, learning and implementing new tricks is a professional necessity.

Do you know your long-term professional goals?

But even jobs that aren’t as straightforward in their growth requirements still ought to be pushing you forward, and whether your job is or isn’t helping you grow is something you need to take note of. Do you feel you’ve been challenged to be better in your role? What have you learned in your role that has better equipped you to master your current job and face new challenges? Have you been set up to rise to higher roles and new responsibilities in your company, or have you been denied even when you’ve sought out opportunities to learn?

Focus on what your vocational goals are. Where do you want your career to go? Perhaps you like where you work, but the particular role you’re in isn’t satisfying you professionally. Take a look at the other departments in your company and think about whether or not a department change could be the right answer. Can you climb in your current company? If so, try! Show your employer your eagerness to develop and inquire about new opportunities. Be sure to note what you have given the company in your time there. Loyalty is an incredible quality, and good companies value it highly.

Show your employer your eagerness to develop and inquire about new opportunities.

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Is it time to make a change?

If you have reached your peak at your current company and can’t climb any higher there, then make a list of companies you aspire to work for and begin to pursue them. You could take a look at where former colleagues are working now. Do they enjoy their new office? What does Glass Door have to say about companies you’re interested in?

It is important to realize when you have been feeling stuck. It’s easy to fall into a rut professionally without realizing it, but until you do, your day-to-day will continue the same as it’s always been. Remind yourself monthly to take stock of where you are, where you want to be, and what you’re doing to get there. It’s only once you acknowledge the goal that you can work to make the change.

It’s only once you acknowledge the goal that you can work to make the change.

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Have you recently made a career change? What factors influenced your decision? Let us know in the comments below.

This original piece by Leslie Tulip appeared on Darling Magazine.