How to Set Your New Year's Intentions (Because Resolutions Are So 2020)
A more flexible approach to goal-setting.
Photo: Color Joy Stock
2020. What. A. Year. I’m guessing that you, like me, are ready to leave 2020 behind and head into the new year ready for some much-needed change. Traditionally, the start of a new year calls us to make a resolution and spend the beginning part of our year making it happen. It’s a time for improvement and renewal buoyed by hope and inspiration. However, if you’re looking to make a deeper, lasting change and achieve greater success in both your personal and professional lives, I’d encourage you to forgo the resolutions this year and instead set an intention.
What’s the difference? A resolution is a specific goal to achieve your desired result typically brought on by a perception of weakness and a need for improvement in an explicit part of your life. For example, common resolutions include exercising for weight loss, healthy eating to reduce cholesterol, signing up for a class to develop new professional skills.
An intention, however, is an overarching idea of how you want to live a life that aligns with your values and, in turn, drives your actions and decisions. I liken it to the top of an organizational chart. At the very top is your intention, and beneath it lies the different parts of your life (professional, relationships, etc.). Stemming from each subdivision are the many ways that you can incorporate your intention in order to achieve improvements and success within the scope of that part of your life. In this approach, you provide yourself with an overall roadmap for how to live your life in accordance with this value that trickles out to all the parts of your life.
If you’re ready to make a profound impact on your life, here are the actionable steps you can take to successfully set an intention and implement it into your life.
Step 1: Reflect on 2020
Take a moment to look back at your year in order to understand what aspects of life are important to you and where you can create and cultivate inspired action to achieve more balance and purpose. Reflect on both the wins and the challenges. Trying to assess your overall approach to life.
Step 2: Create Your Vision for 2021
Based upon this reflection, ask yourself, “How do I want to move forward in 2021?” What vision do you have for yourself in this upcoming year within the various parts of your life? It is this vision of yourself that will help you pinpoint the attributes that you need to embody in order to achieve this evolution.
Step 3: Set Your Intention
Once you’ve imagined how you will personally define a successful year, you can begin to brainstorm power words or phrases that sum up your overall vision. Go through your list and pick the top two or three that resonate the most with you. Visualize what it would look like to have each intention guiding you throughout your daily life, and based on this projection, you’ll know which direction to head towards for your intention.
For example, if I reflected on a year that felt constrained because of a lack of work opportunities and a quarantined social life, an intention that might resonate with me is “to be limitless.” This intention would then translate into seeking out or creating opportunities for myself in my professional life and finding ways to expand my outlook and create abundance in my personal life.
If you would like some extra help with finding an intention, I invite you to try out my guided meditation on intention setting on my podcast, “Responding to Life: Talking Health, Fertility, & Parenthood.”
Step 4: Infuse Your Intention Into Your Daily Life
Resolutions can be tough to maintain because they are so specific and rigid. The benefit of an intention is that it can be flexible and flow with how your life unfolds. Because your intention is an overarching concept, you can play around with your interpretations of it on a daily or weekly basis.
The key to staying accountable with your new year’s intention, however, is to call it to mind every morning. Whether you are able to sit in a three-minute meditation or just reflect on your intention during your morning routine, by calling to mind your intention, you can set a road map for your day making sure to infuse and manifest this value into your plans each day.
“As you head into this new year of much-needed renewal and hope, I encourage you to cultivate this vision of yourself each day with inspired action to create lasting success in all aspects of your life.”
—Josephine Atluri, Host of the Podcast "Responding to Life"
About the author: Josephine Atluri is an expert in fertility and motherhood mindfulness and meditation and in helping others overcome adversity to find joy. Through her unique journey on her path to becoming a mom of five, Josephine weathered many ups and downs with miscarriages, IVF, international adoption, and surrogacy. Channeling her experience to find calm and courage and to focus on perseverance, she now helps others navigate life’s curveballs through online meditation training, fertility mindfulness workshops, and her podcast, “Responding to Life.”
Josephine is a regular content contributor for Motherly and Red Tricycle and she is also a preferred mental wellness provider for The Fertility Tribe, The IVF Warrior, Robyn, and the Fertility Circle. Josephine’s expertise has been featured in Woman’s Day, Prevention Magazine, Mind Body Green, Well + Good, The Bump, Peanut, and the L.A. Times. During this time of extreme isolation and anxiety, Josephine shares practical stress management tips including tools to help ground yourself via the free meditation videos on her site www.jatluri.com. For a free monthly video meditation and wellness tips, be sure to sign up to receive her monthly newsletter on her site. For daily inspiration, be sure to follow her on Instagram @josephineratluri.
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5 Apps That Will Help You Get Sh*t Done In 2019
Check, check, done.
Here at C&C, we love a good checklist. Seriously, the entire team breathes and lives by checklists, and they keep us organized no matter what. With so many events to plan and maintaining a strong online presence, it’s essential for us to have all things streamlined, up-to-date, and trackable.
Here are five of our favorite apps for creating lists and getting shit done.
TickTick
iTunes
TickTick is seriously a game changer. We discovered the app a while ago and have been hooked ever since. You can find your tasks in both a calendar view and timeline view on the app, and set up a checklist that can be marked off on your mobile phone or desktop. You can also set up specific reminders for each of your tasks so that there’s no excuse for not getting them done.
Google Keep
We all love Google, right? Well it was only a matter of time before the online giant created a tool to make our lives even easier. Apart from Gmail, Chrome, Google Docs, and Google Calendar, we now have Google Keep. Also accessible on mobile or desktop, Keep allows you to put together a list and share it with others. However, it’s not just any old list. You can add sticky notes, images, voice notes, and more to your checklist.
Wunderlist
Wunderlist
Wunderlist is another app that allows you to share your checklist with others. Create a personal to-do list or one that you can share with your team to track a specific assignment. Your team members can collaborate on the list via the comment tool and can add notes as well. You can use Wunderlist on your mobile phone, desktop, your Apple Watch and more.
Evernote
Evernote
Evernote is one of the OG note-taking apps. It’s very popular among college students and professionals, and is definitely designed for your work-related tasks. You can add images, videos, attachments and more to any of your lists and access them anywhere on the go. Evernote is unique for its cloud-based storage, which makes it easier for us to save everything we need.
Clear Todos
Clear Todos
If simplicity is key to your life, then so is Clear Todos. The easy-to-use app makes the basic checklist experience more enjoyable and pleasing to the eye. This one will set you back by $4.99 on the App Store, but if you need to get your life together then it’s worth the price.
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How to Make New Year's Resolutions That Last
Don’t be so hard on yourself.
In the day or two after New Year’s Eve, you likely process a mix of feelings: euphoria and hope for a new year, resolve to change those ‘bad habits’ that held you back last year -- and often, a fresh perspective on who you are and where you see yourself going.
You probably set some goals. But not your friendly neighborhood diner type of goals. No, you set Michelin-star, creme-brulee-boasting, so-fancy-they-serve-the-salad-with-the-baby-fork restaurant type of goals.
You want to work on that six pack every day of the week, write a bestselling novel, give up being the ‘always late’ coworker, save 80% of the money you're making and call that long-distance friend every day to check in.
We all set lofty goals for ourselves with each new year. Our ambition is one of the many things that makes us so amazing as humans. There’s just one part of the whole New Year’s resolutions formula that tends to go awry: Our goals often aren’t sustainable.
Change is hard overnight, and when we set unrealistic, binary milestones for ourselves and subsequently struggle to reach them in a short timeframe, we crash and burn. In fact, USA Today reported that by mid-February, eighty percent of resolutions fail. The good news? There’s an antidote that is 100% within our control: setting goals with self-compassion.
In it’s simplest terms, self-compassion means being kind to ourselves when we feel inadequate or slip up. It's been proven to lead to greater emotional wellbeing and is linked to less depression, anxiety and stress. Psychologist and researcher Dr. Kristen Neff defines self-compassion in three abilities: self-kindness, common humanity and mindfulness. Here’s how you can use self-compassion when making your resolutions:
Self-kindness
...is about flipping the script and reserving judgement on ourselves (studies have shown that we are three times more likely to feel compassion for a total stranger).
If we are struggling to meet a goal, there are probably valid reasons. Recognize that you’re going to do the best you can, and when you have off days—empathize with where you’re coming from.
Common humanity
...is about realizing that we all are imperfect beings.
Recognizing that you’re not alone and that you will doubtlessly hit roadblocks along the way, can empower you to rely on community and support for others in moments of self-criticism. There is a 100% chance that someone else has felt exactly the way you do, whether you’re crushing it or struggling.
“Self-compassion helps bridge the gap between who we feel we are and who we really are.”
Mindfulness
...is about cultivating an awareness. We can’t be kind to ourselves or rely on the power in shared humanity if we don’t recognize when we’re being particularly hard ourselves.
As Dr. Anna Rowley, psychologist and millennial wellbeing expert, says, “We can separate ourselves from our negative thinking or feelings of inadequacy. Your boss chews you out for a report she doesn’t like. You have a choice—dwell on what a failure you are or practice mindfulness and acknowledge the feedback and do better next time. By separating ourselves from the emotion—anger, frustration, or self pity—we are available to problem solve.”
Did you know? We are 3 times more likely to feel compassion for a total stranger than for ourselves.
Unfortunately there is a common misconception, that being compassionate with ourselves means that we’re going to take it easy, give ourselves a pass to never improve or become set in our ways. But the reality is that when we focus on empathizing with ourselves and meeting ourselves where we are, we can set goals that build on our strengths and realistically help us improve.
“Self-compassion helps bridge the gap between who we feel we are and who we really are,” says Dr. Rowley. “Resolutions are hard to change because we are trying to alter aspects of ourself we aren’t happy with or behaviors we may have ‘lived’ for a long, long time. Many of us set unrealistic or unreasonable goals.
For example, ‘I will go to the gym 4 times this week’ might be a tough resolution to keep if you have never been to a gym before or you are embarrassed walking into a room full of strangers grunting and heaving. Self-compassion is about reducing the risk of feeling like a failure if you don’t nail your immediate goal.
It also helps us set more realistic compassionate goals. Rather than join a gym, I’ll go for a walk or next time I shop, I’ll look for a healthier choice of foods. Self-compassion can help us make smarter choices and offer a helping hand when we mess up…and we will mess up.”
So this year, as you continue to grow, evolve and work on yourself, remember to set goals that allow you to be kind to yourself, too.
Written by: Marah Lidey, co-founder Shine
Sign up for Shine to set an intention and track your goals for the year.
The original version of this article appeared on Shine.
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The 10 Best Moments of 2017
And our mood for 2018.
When Cher full bodied a Twitter user after posting her thoughts on DACA, our hearts sang with joy.
And gave us our motto going into 2018.
Let's crop in, shall we?
For those in the back.
Oh.
I think again, for good luck.
Just in case your eyes were closed.
What the hell, one more time.
2018, you're toast.
What's that?
Toast.
Oh, Cher. We've got you babe.
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How These 6 Influencers Plan to Own Their 2018
New year, new...?
There are so many ways to approach resolutions. And holding yourself accountable is one surefire way to make the new year count.
So we checked in with some of our favorite bloggers and influencers to see how they're heading into 2018. From taking breaks to putting health first, they are going to make 2018 count.
The question is: what are you waiting for?
Bri Emery Is on the Path to Feelin' Good.
It sounds cliche but I am focused on my health. Less wine nights during the week, more water. take my vitamins. slow down when my body signals me to. I had a lot of health issues this year and I want to really put my health first and remember to be grateful when I’m feeling good!
Nicolette Mason Is Going to Take It Easy.
2017 was such a personally and professionally challenging year! We launched Premme, a fashion-forward plus-size clothing line, in July, and leading up to the launch and since then, it has been non stop! So my goal for 2018, honestly, is to slow down a little and take some breaks. I’m really overdue for a vacation - and am promising myself I’m going to book a real getaway ASAP!
Simply Cyn Want to Keep It Simple.
Be more organized. (ed. note: enough said.)
Kristin Ess Is Going Big.
My New Years resolution is to get Kristin Ess Hair international.
Pam Hetlinger Has Her Sights Set High.
My New Years resolution in 2018 is to continue following my dreams and doing everything I can to achieve them.
Bianca Alexa Is In Search of Balance.
Definitely to get back in shape and to have a more balanced and healthier lifestyle.
What about you? How you plan on slaying 2018? Share in the comments below.
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Why 80% of New Year's Resolutions Fail by Mid-February
And what you can do about it.
photo credit: Elle Magazine
Written by: Marah Lidey, co-founder Shine
In the day or two after New Year’s Eve, you likely process a mix of feelings: euphoria and hope for a new year, resolve to change those ‘bad habits’ that held you back last year -- and often, a fresh perspective on who you are and where you see yourself going.
You probably set some goals. But not your friendly neighborhood diner type of goals. No, you set Michelin-star, creme-brulee-boasting, so-fancy-they-serve-the-salad-with-the-baby-fork restaurant type of goals.
You want to work on that six pack every day of the week, write a bestselling novel, give up being the ‘always late’ coworker, save 80% of the money you're making and call that long-distance friend everyday to check in.
We all set lofty goal for ourselves with each new year. Our ambition is one of the many things that makes us so amazing as humans.
There’s just one part of the whole New Year’s resolutions formula that tends to go awry. Our goals often aren’t sustainable.
Change is hard overnight, and when we set unrealistic, binary milestones for ourselves and subsequently struggle to reach them in a short timeframe, we crash and burn.
In fact, USA Today reported that by mid-February, eighty percent of resolutions fail.
The good news? There’s an antidote that is 100% within our control: setting goals with self-compassion.
In it’s simplest terms, self-compassion means being kind to ourselves when we feel inadequate or slip up. It's been proven to lead to greater emotional wellbeing and is linked to less depression, anxiety and stress.
Psychologist and researcher, Dr. Kristen Neff, defines self-compassion in three abilities: self-kindness, common humanity and mindfulness.
Self-kindness
...is about flipping the script and reserving judgement on ourselves (studies have shown that we are 3 times more likely to feel compassion for a total stranger).
If we are struggling to meet a goal, there are probably valid reasons. Recognize that you’re going to do the best you can, and when you have off days - empathize with where you’re coming from.
Common humanity
...is about realizing that we all are imperfect beings.
Recognizing that you’re not alone and that you will doubtlessly hit roadblocks along the way, can empower you to rely on community and support for others in moments of self-criticism. There is a 100% chance that someone else has felt exactly the way you do, whether you’re crushing it or struggling.
“Self compassion helps bridge the gap between who we feel we are and who we really are.”
Mindfulness
...is about cultivating an awareness. We can’t be kind to ourselves or rely on the power in shared humanity if we don’t recognize when we’re being particularly hard ourselves.
As Dr. Anna Rowley, Psychologist and millenniall wellbeing expert says, “we can separate ourselves from our negative thinking or feelings of inadequacy. Your boss chews you out for a report she doesn’t like. You have a choice - dwell on what a failure you are or practice mindfulness and acknowledge the feedback and do better next time. By separating ourselves from the emotion - anger, frustration, or self pity - we are available to problem solve.”
Did you know? We are 3 times more likely to feel compassion for a total stranger than for ourselves.
Unfortunately there is a common misconception, that being compassionate with ourselves means that we’re going to take it easy, give ourselves a pass to never improve or become set in our ways.
But the reality is, that when we focus on empathizing with ourselves and meeting ourselves where we are - we can set goals that build on our strengths and realistically help us improve.
“Self compassion helps bridge the gap between who we feel we are and who we really are,” says Dr. Rowley.
She continues:
“Resolutions are hard to change because we are trying to alter aspects of ourself we aren’t happy with or behaviors we may have ‘lived’ for a long, long time. Many of us set unrealistic or unreasonable goals.
For example, "I will go to the gym 4 times this week”might be a tough resolution to keep if you have never been to a gym before or you are embarrassed walking into a room full of strangers grunting and heaving. Self compassion is about reducing the risk of feeling like a failure if you don’t nail your immediate goal.
It also helps us set more realistic compassionate goals. Rather than join a gym I’ll go for a walk or next time I shop I’ll look for a more healthy choice of foods. Self-compassion can help us make smarter choices and offer a helping hand when we mess up - and we will mess up.”
So, this year as you continue to grow, evolve and work on yourself - remember to set goals that allow you to be kind to yourself.
Sign up for Shine to set an intention and track your goals for the year.
The original version of this article appeared on Shine.
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The 31-Day Career Detox Every Woman Can Accomplish
It's never too late to start off the year with a fresh new start.
THESE ARE REAL RESOLUTIONS. NOT THE KIND THAT YOU MAKE JANUARY 1 ONLY TO DROP THEM BY MID-FEBRUARY. THESE ARE THE ATTAINABLE, SMALL-SCALE, REALISTIC COMMITMENTS EVERY WOMAN CAN MAKE TO CLEAN UP HER CAREER.
You can use this list in one of several ways. You can commit to completing one goal every day, going in the order we've suggested. Or you can print it out and cross each one off in any random order that suits your schedule. You can even tackle a handful of these in one Saturday. It's really a buyer's market—pick the process that suits you.
By the way, this isn't like your typical green juice detox, where eating a rice cake constitutes falling off the wagon. You're not required to finish every one of the items on this list or to start over if you miss one. Because think about it: even if you only manage to complete five or six of these tasks, you've still made major strides toward an easier and more fulfilling career path. Ready?
31 DAYS, 1 ACTION ITEM PER DAY
1. Let's start easy: don't open Instagram today.
2. Go through your LinkedIn connections and remove anyone you don't recognize or no longer have a real and useful connection with.
3. Find your current resume and cover letter templates on your computer and organize them all into one folder on your desktop. Delete any outdated versions by searching "resume" in your files.
4. Send "touch base" emails to eight people in your network. Because everyone's pleased when you wish them a Happy New Year.
5. Unsubscribe from three newsletters you no longer open. But maybe also sign up for Career Contessa's emails to keep the useful career advice coming.
6. Set aside a full hour to take an online class. There are plenty of courses you can find for free on different topics—even watching a handful of YouTube videos on a work-related topic can't hurt—or you can go nuts and sign up for a Skillshare membership to enroll in as many courses as you like.
7. Turn off push notifications on your phone for 24 hours. Then consider keeping them off for a week.
8. Install those pesky yet recommended Macbook updates. And, hey, update your phone while you're at it.
9. Plan a girl date and don't talk about work.
10. Plan another girl date and don't talk smack about any other woman, even if she's your most obnoxious coworker.
11. Reread your LinkedIn summary. Is it still accurate for your 2017 goals? Is it too long? Just for the challenge, cut one full sentence from it. (For the overachiever, watch our LinkedIn Optimization webinar)
12. Good morning! Before you open Instagram or your work email, spend 15 minutes reading for fun.
13. Update your resume. Cut down any descriptions of older positions that aren't related to your current career goals.
14. Set an alarm clock instead of using your phone because tonight, you're leaving your phone in another room.
15. Delete any apps you haven't used in the last month.
16. Practice saying "No." It's much harder than you think. Start by watching our webinar.
17. Clean and organize your desk.
18. Call a strong woman in your life (moms are great, as are grandmothers, but so are retiree neighbors and/or formal mentors) and talk to them about how they found their path.
19. Really figure out your monthly budget.
20. Get outside.
21. Unfollow people on Facebook who post political rants or comments that upset you, especially after the year we've had. It's both an emotional drain and undermining your creative productivity.
22. Write a letter to yourself about your goals and plan to reread it next January.
Write a letter to yourself about your goals and plan to reread it next January.
Tweet this.
23. Clean out your closet. Give any old work clothes to Goodwill—especially the ones you never wear but keep because they were expensive.
24. Chances are you've got some time off saved up from last year so brainstorm your next vacation. It doesn't have to be far away or long. If you're feeling particularly daring, plan a vacation you take alone.
25. Organize your work and personal email folders.
26. Change up your commute.
27. Sign up for a class or watch a TED talk on a topic you've never explored before. Taking a basket weaving class counts.
28. Eat vegetarian today and/or pack a wholesome lunch.
29. Connect with an old coworker for lunch or a drink. Ask them if there's anything you can do to help them.
30. Reach out to someone about an informational interview.
31. Start a work journal.
What are some other tasks you'd like to complete this January?
This piece originally appeared on Career Contessa.
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