How to Meet Anyone With This 15 Step Strategy

Photo: Andrew Neel from Pexels

If you've ever wondered how to get out of someone's inbox and into their (virtual) office, then heed the advice from Gillian Zoe Segal’s book, Getting There: A Book of Mentors. Trust us.

From Rachel Zoe to Sara Blakely and even Warren Buffet are just some of the entrepreneurs Gillian features in her book who all dish their top advice, tips, and strategies for building a successful career.

Ahead, Gillian shares her 15 tips for meeting anyone you want using creative networking techniques and the best part is, you can totally do it too. Read on… 

1. Understand the lay of the land.

Most luminaries are extremely busy. They receive multiple requests every day for interviews, speaking engagements, new business opportunities, charity functions, you name it, not to mention the obligations they have with their careers, families, and personal lives. Understandably, there are simply not enough hours in the day for them to say yes to everything. And they definitely don’t.

If you are not a big name or don’t have something major to offer, accept that you will not be at the top of anyone’s priority list—no matter how important your request might seem to you.

2. Toss your ego out the window.

You will be ignored and rejected a lot, and you can’t take it personally or allow it to depress or discourage you.

3. Know that you can lead a horse to water, but the biggest hurdle is making sure the horse knows that the water is in front of its face.

You must get your request noticed by the decision-maker.

4. If you have any connection at all, use it.

Your connection doesn’t need to be a big one.

Here’s how I contacted Leslie Moonves, President, and CEO of CBS: My best friend’s husband had a friend who used to work at CBS and was willing to put me in touch with Moonves’s assistant. The assistant, who works closely with him every day, made sure he saw my request.

If you don’t have a connection (and most often I didn’t), here are some ways to get your request noticed:

5. Make yourself as human as possible.

The less human you appear, the easier it is for someone to reject you. Asking in person is the best method; that way it’s obvious you’re human. (It’s a lot easier to say no to a faceless email or tweet.) If you can figure out a way to run into your target in a not stalkerish way, try to do so—for example at a party or event.

But don’t be annoying or take up too much of your target’s time. I usually introduce myself, give a one or two-sentence pitch, and then ask whom I should contact with more details. The luminary usually gives me the name of a point person; then I contact that person ASAP.

6. If you can’t ask in person—and most times you can’t, especially now—try to connect to the person you can reach (your target’s publicist, assistant, etc.).

Always use the name of the person you are corresponding with since it makes for a more personal connection. If you don’t have that person’s name, ask for it. An email to a specific person instead of one addressed “to whom it may concern” is a bit harder for the recipient to ignore.

7. Never accept “no” from someone who can’t give you a “yes.”

My friend (Steve Cohen!) told me this early on, and it really stuck with me. The point is, don’t let a “no” from one employee deter you. If the front door is locked, try the back door; if the back door is locked, try the side door; if the side door is locked, try crawling in a window. If you can’t do that, wait a while then try the front door again. Someone might answer this time!

What does this front door/side door/window bit really mean? I am talking about ways in—avenues—like a publicist, an agent, an employee, someone who once did business with the person, a friend of a friend of a friend….

I rarely dealt with just one employee and one door. When someone ignored me repeatedly or rejected me, I switched to someone else and acted as nothing had ever happened—I never mentioned I was previously ignored or rejected. (A lot of times your target never even saw your request—an employee rejected it instead.)

8. Take responses literally.

If you don’t get a definitive “no” from someone, try again. For example, if you get an, “Unfortunately, he can’t participate in that now,” take “now” literally and follow up later.

9. Never be anything but friendly and pleasant to deal with.

No one reacts well to “attitude” from strangers. That kind of behavior will only get you ignored even more — or axed for good. (It may also earn you a bad reputation.)

If you do get what you consider to be a final rejection, lose graciously and thank the person for considering your request.

10. Never rub anyone’s nose in the fact that they’re ignoring you.

For example, don’t complain that you called five times already. If you send a follow-up email to someone that has been ignoring you, don’t forward the old email. Send a new email (or send your prior email) as it has never been sent before.

This allows your contact to save face if they do choose to respond—and lets that person respond without having to make any excuses for why they previously ignored you.

11. Keep your correspondence simple and clear.

Get to your point quickly. Remember how busy everyone is; no one has time to sift through paragraphs to figure out what your email is about.

12. Once you get a response from someone, grab hold of that person, and don’t let go.

I learned this lesson in the summer of 1993 when I worked as a real estate broker. When clients decided they wanted to rent an apartment I had just shown them, I was instructed not to let them out of my sight until they put down a deposit. Why? Simple: if I let them walk away and “get back to me tomorrow,” they might reconsider their decision. So I literally accompanied my clients to the bank while they took out cash for their deposit.

The same is true with networking. If someone responds to your request, act fast, and respond immediately. You need to get the ball rolling before they forget about you and move on to something else.

13. Take whatever you can get as soon as you can get it.

That means accepting the very first day the person is available—regardless of your schedule.

14. Get your foot in the door any way you can.

One of the most challenging Getting There subjects for me to land was the architect Frank Gehry. I sent a couple of blind requests to the email address listed on his company’s website. The good news is that I was not totally ignored; the bad news is that I was rejected both times.

A few months later I found out my friend’s father’s new girlfriend (read that relationship twice and realize any connection can be a good connection) knew Frank and was willing to pass along my request. She sent him my request twice and was totally ignored both times!

A few months later I figured I would try again (after all, emails are free, and ya never know!), so I sent yet another email to his company’s email address and a miracle happened—I got a response! I can only assume a new assistant was on duty that day.

I immediately emailed her back, got her name, and asked if I could send her some samples of my work to show Gehry. Again, strike while the iron is hot: I was away at the time so I had my cat sitter overnight the material to her.

I called the office to follow up and make sure that she got it; remember, speaking on the phone makes the connection more personal. She showed my material to Gehry, he said yes, and we set up an appointment!

But that’s not the end of the story. Gehry then proceeded to cancel on me for a full year (I was that low on his priority list). During that time I bounced between 4 of his assistants (it seemed like every time I called to follow up a new person needed to be filled in on who I was and what Gehry had agreed to), but I eventually got some time with him and he is now in Getting There!

By the way: when I finally met with Gehry he had absolutely no idea I had ever been hounding him or his office. (In fact, none of my subjects did.)

15. Persistence pays off.

If I learned one lesson from the people who I interviewed for Getting There it is that determination and resilience eventually pay off. Of all my subjects, I think that Ian Schrager sums up this sentiment best in his Getting Thereessay. He says, “In the end, there’s so little that separates people. Those who want success the most and are relentless about pursuing it are the ones who get it.”

Pursuing any goal is much easier if you are truly passionate about what you want; that’s what gives you the fuel to persevere. In my case, I really believed in the concept of my book and felt that readers would truly benefit from what my subjects could share. I also felt sure my subjects would be happy with the finished product; if I hadn’t felt that way it would have been extremely difficult to overcome all the rejection and keep approaching people over and over again.

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The original version of this article appeared on Hey Mama. This post was originally published on June 25, 2017, and has since been updated.

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The Career Tactic That Will Get You One Step Closer to Becoming A Boss

(Credit: #WOCinTech)

“They” say those who can, do; those who can't, teach.

We’re flipping the script and calling BS on this one. Because those who “teach” in a mentorship role are doers and next-level leaders. So much so, they serve as role models to the eager protégées who learn from their wins and their fails. 

We know that having a mentor (or four) is a critical component to success. It’s a two-way street, really, because becoming a mentor and imparting your wisdom on the lucky candidates under your wing will serve you in more ways than you know. 

Mentorship has always been an important tenet at Create & Cultivate; in fact, the mentor sessions are a key component of the Create & Cultivate conference. And while the Bosses imparting their truths to keen attendees are at the top of their game, they are clearly honored and stoked to be advising the ladies in their mentoring sessions. 

So if you’re looking to take your career to the next level, it might be time to consider becoming a mentor. 

Here are 6 reasons why:

IT MAKES YOU AN EXPERT

Whether you’re meeting with your mentee(s) on the regular or serving as their mentor on the phone or via Google Hangouts, they will try to absorb every tidbit of wisdom you’re sharing. And when you’re focusing on your trade, you’re becoming an expert on the topic as a result -- whether you realize it or not. 

So if the pesky feeling of Imposter Syndrome creeps its way into your psyche every now and then, kick it to the curb with your renewed “expert vibes.” 

After all, even though you’re slaying career-wise, every now and then you might second-guess your path, passion or purpose. This is normal! 

Sometimes our inner critic / doubter / hater gets the best of us and makes us wonder, “Have I got what it takes?” Being a mentor and the ensuing validation it offers might just be enough to give you the confidence boost you need. 

IT CAN OPEN YOUR EYES TO A WHOLE NEW PERSPECTIVE

Imagine being a mentor to the next Uber founder? They might be right there, in the next batch of millennial leaders. And if you are currently mentoring a high school student, then you are likely gaining amazing insight into the generation younger than millennials, dubbed Generation Z (a.k.a. Gen Edge).

You’re getting direct access to these brilliant and ultra tech savvy minds, and this can open your eyes to a whole new business idea or new way of doing things. So enjoy and stay dialed into these a-ha moments. 

YOUR PUPIL MIGHT JOIN YOU ON YOUR QUEST FOR WORLD DOMINATION (#SQUADGOALS)

As you impart your truths and help pave the way for the bright young leaders of tomorrow, you might spot a spark in one of them and realize they should join your team. 

Whether they join you on a freelance or full-time basis, imagine the magic that can be created when you find the right people who share your vision and complement you in the best ways possible. 

IT'S REWARDING AND FULFILLING

Throwing it back to Create & Cultivate Los Angeles this past May, where kindness was one of the key themes. All the keynote speakers emphasized the importance of being nice, and Rachel Zoe shared her open-door philosophy as a boss. 

Helping someone else make the most of their career is the ultimate way of paying it forward. When you feel fulfilled and happy to help an up-and-coming dynamo, it adds to your gratitude bucket, which is a popular element in becoming successful. So make karma your kween and pay it forward by helping others as a mentor. 

"Make karma your kween and pay it forward by helping others as a mentor."

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Eventually the student might even become the teacher -- the ultimate “yaaasss!” moment. 

IT KEEPS YOU MOTIVATED 

When someone is looking to you for advice and wisdom, you need to make sure you’re up for the challenge. This is the perfect motivation to keep your expertise sharp, on-point, and always ahead of the game. After all, if they’re looking to you for inspiration, you need to make sure you’re worthy of their spotlight. 

IT KEEPS YOU GROUNDED

The appreciation your mentees experience when receiving your expert advice and dedication is enough to light up your day, and give you all the feels.

Remember that you can be a mentor to different people, at different stages of their careers. This is a great way to stay on your toes and be reminded of what it’s like to be in the very early stages of your business. 

As well, online platforms like Glassbreakers allow you to sign up as a mentor to modern women from diverse backgrounds, and you get matched up with women with common career goals. 

READY TO MENTOR? 

The whole “mentor-mentee” relationship requires chemistry, kind of like finding a partner. So try to be in tune with the people you encounter throughout your day-to-day, who might just become your protégées, pretty organically. Or seek out some lucky candidate(s) to take under your wing, with a local “Big Sister” program or mentoring organization.

However you go about it, embrace it, because being a mentor is the gift that keeps on giving. 

Karin Eldor is a coffee-addicted copywriter, with a long-time love for all things pop culture, fashion and tech. Ever since she got her first issues of YM (remember that one?) and Seventeen in the mail, she was hooked on the world of editorial content. After earning her Communications degree, she spent 6 years honing her craft as a Senior Editor for AskMen.com. More recently, Karin enjoyed gramming and strategizing as Social Media Manager at ALDO. Today, she is Chief Content Writer at 818 Agency and a social media consultant.  

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6 of Rachel Zoe's Most Inspiring Create & Cultivate Takeaways

Photo by Irida Mete. 

Rachel Zoe may have popularized such phrases as "I die," and "Bananas," but the multi-hyphenate who credited launching The Zoe Report as one of her smartest business decisions this past Saturday at Create & Cultivate DTLA, had much more knowledge to drop. Interviewed by friend, fellow businesswoman, and jewelry designer Jen Meyer, the impeccably dressed maven shared her savvy with the audience of 500. She also blushed crimson when Jen asked her how she works with her husband, Rodger Berman who was in the audience, and still goes home and f*cks him. "I just want you to know my nephew is here, so shh," Rachel laughed. Adding her signature, "I'm going to die right now." 

"Rachel," said Jen before getting into the meat of their talk, "is quite possibly one of the most supportive friends, people, business women on the planet. When I started my jewelry company, one of the first people to support me and say 'I'm going to be everything I can for people to see it,' was Rachel." 

Here are 6 of the most inspiring takeaways from Rachel and Jen.  

They talked work ethic. What keeps her going?

"I love it. As I've grown from stylist to everything else, I am driven by the passion. It started with me wanting to be a great stylist and after that it was following my gut and instinct for what felt right." Later in the talk Rachel said, "I don’t think you can be good at something if you don’t love it." 

What resonates through the Rachel Zoe brand?

"At the core of my brand I've always wanted to speak to, empower, and motivate young women. Give them confidence to do whatever they want to do in life. The mantra of my brand has always been: Provide aspiration and inspiration, and always be accessible. Never be intimidating. When someone shows a 20,000 dollar coat on a runway, I'm not ever saying that's what everyone needs to wear in order to look good." 

Pre-panel snap in the Green Room. Photo by Irida Mete. 

What is she like as a boss?

She has an open-door policy in her office-- but she rarely spends time in it. "Roger keeps threatening to close my office because I never go in it." She likes being in the middle of the creative energy and talking to everyone in the office. "We are so synergistic throughout the company-- everyone talks, and one part of the brand could not exist without the other." As for the members of her team, she had this to say: "Don’t micro-manage people. I think if you hire talented people, you have to let them be. Let them govern their time."

"Don’t micro-manage people. If you hire talented people, you have to let them be. Let them govern their time."

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What are the rules she lives by?

"It's about being honest, kind, and forthcoming. Internally and externally it's what we put out and it's how I govern my business and my life." Also adding, "Follow your gut and your instinct. I know what I know, but I know what I don't know. " 

According to Jen, Rachel is a pro a balancing her life. How does she do it?

"Before I had children I felt I was very imbalanced. I was so obsessed with my career that I couldn't see anything else. I missed every birthday. I missed every holiday. I missed everything that mattered outside of work. And then weirdly when I had my first son I feel like I became better at my job. I was better able to focus, prioritize, look at really important things in a different way, and handle them in a much more sane way. I don't get worked up about things the way I used to and that has helped me achieve some balance."

But acknowledged, "Every day is different and a struggle and there is guilt on both sides when you're a working mom. You have to know you can't plan every day. It's never going to turn out the way you think it will. The ultimate goal is to be present when you're with your children and present when you're working."  

What are some lessons she learned as a stylist that she's applied to her businesses?

"Really learning about people is the thing in styling that actually overrides all of the styling. You have to have patience, a true understanding that everyone is different; it's not a formula. These are not mannequins, they are people like you and me. They have problems and insecurities. Styling has really taught me that you have to work so hard for what you want in life. That this business is not always glamourous. And it helped me as a designer to know what women want and don't want." 

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#CreateCultivateDTLA Quotes To Inspire You This Sunday

Image by Irida Mete. 

Can someone take us back to yesterday? Thanks to you and all of our amazing speakers, this Create & Cultivate is definitely one for the books. And even with a little bit of gloomy weather in the AM, Hudson Loft radiated beams from all the inspiring and motivating women that were there to support one another as bosses yesterday. 

To keep up with the inspirational vibes from yesterday, we've rounded up some of our favorite quotes from yesterday's panels.

What's In Our Bag: Everything You Need for Create & Cultivate DTLA

Designed for the 7am-10pm lifestyle, the 15” Tote from Dagne Dover is the ultimate day-to-night carryall, made with sneaky compartments to keep your essentials in place. And since your day at Create & Cultivate DTLA is going to jam-packed from when you first arrive to when Chelsea Handler takes the stage at 8pm, you want a bag that’s working for you while you work it.

We’re breaking your day, and just what should be in your bag. Sorry, no hot sauce needed.

8:00 AM: You’ve been waiting for this forever!! And it’s finally check-in time! If you already have your badge, head upstairs where you’ll receive your track card, notebook, and pen. Slip that notebook into one of the side pockets. You’ll need it, but right now it’s time to grab some breakfast. Fuel for the day ahead is vital.

9:00 AM: You’ve got your coffee and your track. Find your seat and set-up for the first panel. Pull your phone from the phone compartment, snag a shot of the empty stage, and then get ready for some amazing boss-piration. Which means, grab your notebook, your pen-- from one of the three pen loops, and get ready to put facts to paper.

12:00 N:  You’re either heading to your mentor session or to lunch. If you’re going to meet with your mentor pull out your tablet (there’s room for an 11”) and record it. Seriously, this is advice you can’t get anywhere else and you might not be able to shorthand as fast as they’re doling out the goods. If you’re heading to lunch, tuck everything away, and get ready to shake the hand of the creative peer next to you.

2:30 PM: In 15 minutes it’s panel time again. Which means that notebook and pen are about to get another workout.

5:00 PM: Break time! There is so much to during the break. You’ll definitely want to pull out your phone from its pocket, take some Instagram shots (we #regram our favorites) and visit the multiple pop-ups, beauty bars, grab a juice and put it in your bag. We’ve got three keynotes ahead, so you’re going to want something to sip on while they spill their business secrets. There’s a pocket for a “water bottle holder.”

6:00 PM: Jessica Alba takes the stage in conversation with Katherine Power and Hillary Kerr. Pull out that phone and start live Tweeting NOW.

6:30 PM: Rachel Zoe takes the stage in conversation with Jen Meyer. Keep the inspirational Tweets coming. It’s maje. Bananas. Ah-mazing. All of it. 

7:00 PM: HAPPY HOUR! Tuck everything away and head to the roof to grab a cocktail, pass out a few business cards from that zip pocket, make a few moves, and use one of the side pockets for the cards you’re collecting.

8:00 PM: Everyone’s favorite comedienne and all-around shero, Chelsea Handler takes the stage. You’re probably going to want to write down everything she says.

9:00 PM: You came, you saw, you conquered-- maybe in heels. It’s a very stylish crew at C & C. If your feet are killing you, grab the sneakers you tucked into the bag. (Yes, there’s room for sneakers) and slip them on. Grab your gift bag, and head home full of knowledge, a side pocket of new contacts, and plenty of info on that tablet.

7 Must-Know Biz Tips from Rachel Zoe

Digitally-forward, socially-savvy, the fashion empire of Rachel Zoe is decidedly a stylish one— but it’s also built on the know-how of the entrepreneur. 

From an open-door office policy to taking the high road, Rachel is dishing seven of her best business tips. 

ALWAYS WORK LIKE YOU HAVE FIVE DOLLARS IN THE BANK.

My first job was as a sales associate at the Nine West store in Short Hills Mall in New Jersey. My biggest piece of advice for anyone starting his or her first job would be to make sure to never act entitled. It’s important that no matter what your situation is, you work like you have only $5 in the bank.

"No matter what your situation is, you work like you have only $5 in the bank."

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TRUST THAT SOMEONE WILL TAKE A CHANCE ON YOU.

If you show up every day and give your job 110% at all times, eventually you will get noticed. It may not happen as quickly as you like, but at some point the stars will align and you will get your first big break. For me, that occurred when Tommy Hilfiger hired me to style his huge White House ad campaign. I was only about a month into my freelance career at the time, and I was terrified. The job came with a big budget and took two weeks to execute. We shot a cast of young Hollywood actors, models and singers both in Austin and Los Angeles. To this day, it is still one of the most incredible productions I have worked on. I am eternally grateful to Tommy for taking a chance on me, because it not only led me to book many more jobs, but it also gave me a huge boost of confidence and proved my competence!

REALIZE THAT YOUR PATH MIGHT BE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STREET.

You need to consider whether you're on the right career path. Who says you can't have an "I'm going to be a...just kidding!" moment like I did? Before I started my career in fashion, I was a student at George Washington University majoring in sociology and psychology. At the time, I thought I was going to be a psychiatrist! Looking back, making the jump to fashion was a natural choice for me. Bottom line: It's never too late to start over. We hear stories all the time of people later in life going back to school for something completely new and different. Those stories are inspiring. If you're lucky and you're honest with yourself, you might realize that you need to make a change.

"Bottom line: It's never too late to start over."

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FOCUS ON SOLUTIONS, NOT THE PROBLEM.

Everyone makes mistakes, but how you handle them can set you apart in the workplace. When something goes wrong, find a solution (or twenty) before you present the mistake to your boss or colleagues. Then, use the misstep as a chance to come out on top. As a designer, often times I will conceptualize and sketch a design for my collection only to have the prototype turn out differently than I expected. Rather than starting from scratch, I work with my team to find a middle ground that will work for the customer while not compromising my vision.

TAKE THE HIGH ROAD

When drama arises, it is tempting to want to set the record straight to everyone within the workplace. In my experience with the media reporting false stories about me or my company, I have learned that silence is almost always golden. If you try to deny or defend yourself, you are ultimately just fueling the fire. On the other hand, when you are quiet, the drama tends to fizzle much more quickly. Bottom line: take the high road and save the venting for when you are at home behind closed doors. Believe me, this is not easy.

KEEP YOUR OFFICE DOORS OPEN.

As a leader and CEO of a company that is constantly growing, it is important for me to have an open-door policy with my employees and always be honest with them. I do believe having transparency with my team shows that I trust them—I always want the lines of communicate to be open. In today’s corporate culture a lot of leaders choose to sit with their team, and not have separate offices, and I like that. The offices of my company headquarters have glass doors for a reason, to advocate transparency and openness. 

DO WHAT YOU LOVE.

My number-one piece of advice? Do what you love. It is the only thing that will keep you going through long days, stressful situations and a low bank account balance. When I was a fashion assistant at YM magazine, I worked literally on my hands and knees all day long, doing everything from packing and unpacking boxes to running around New York City in blizzards on foot (in heels!) moving full wardrobe trunks solo. It was physically taxing on a person of my height and build, but I did it all with a smile on my face. I never once complained because I felt it was such a privilege to do what I love.