How to Get Rid of Stress and Feel Centered in 5 Minutes

Photo: Valeria Ushakova for Pexels

Feeling stressed? Like the type of stressed out where you’ve got so much going on that your brain is racing every night, or you just feel lost and don’t know what to do? I used to feel it, too. Overwhelmed with clients, my work, my personal life, I had no time for my relationship. No time to paint (which is my passion). No time to spend with family and friends. I felt like my life was in an endless whirlwind.

Then, I learned one of the most amazing techniques for how to relieve stress quickly. Over the past 10 years, through coaching some of the world’s most successful businesswomen, and with my deep study of the subconscious mind, I reframed a powerful technique from my mentor Dr. Coletta Long, a leading pioneer in the field of regression, to help even more people achieve the freedom from stress and anxiety.

It’s called the Emotional Reset Method. And it’s so simple (kind of like the Mel Robbins 5-second method, which I love).

So… what is it?

The Emotional Reset Method (ERM) is a five-step technique to identify, name, and release that feeling or sensation of stress, anxiety, pain, or worry that you don’t want in your body anymore so you can move forward with more lightness, freedom, and purpose.

It only takes about five minutes, but if you sit, center, and do it with integrity—it can really help you get back to doing what you do.

Step 1. Pause. Tune in to what you feel.

The first step is to pause. To stop, sit still, and breathe deeply into your belly. Before you can discover where you’re carrying your emotions, you need to ground yourself in your body.

We’re often so busy that we spend a lot of our time “out of our bodies.” Many mindfulness practices start with the breath, which allows you to slow down and bring yourself back “into your body.” Think about a tree: when the wind blows, it’s the root that lets the wind sway through the limbs without knocking it over. It just takes a minute to breathe deeply, connect your mind and body, and “root” down.

Sit down in a comfy seat, place your hands on your thighs, close your eyes, and breathe deeply, starting from your belly (your diaphragm). Slowly count in-and-out for five seconds. This will center and ground you. You’ll feel more calm and present.

Step 2. Describe it. What do you feel?

Next, ask yourself: What sensation am I feeling? Let go of any self-judgment. There’s no need to critique or criticize. The key to this step is to be relaxed and honest with yourself so you can feel into the sensations of your body (and emotions). When you release and let yourself feel, different sensations, emotions, and reactions will come up. Is it anxiety? Fear? Just… tired? The key here is to just sink in, let yourself feel, and then name that out into the world.

For me, what I was feeling was heavy anxiety and fatigue. A desire to “do it all.” That desire to do a million things and try to fit it all into my chaotic day.

Step 3. Locate it. Where do you feel it?

The third step is to identify where you’re feeling it. Have you ever been incredibly anxious or worried and felt a tightening feeling in your stomach or lungs? That feeling you perceive is emotion making its presence known physically. Locate where that place is in your body.

In my case, it was right in the middle of my stomach. So, I brought my attention to that sensation and location.

Step 4. Give it a visual. Can you describe it as a color?

What’s most easy to describe is a color and use it for visualization. You need to be able to visualize this feeling you defined in Step 3. For many, it’s easiest to describe it as a color. Just keep that feeling in your mind and say whatever first comes to your head. Is fear a deep blue? Is anxiety a subtle purple? It will be different for everyone and every sensation, but if you pause and feel it out – you can think of a color that represents this emotion and feeling.

In my case, it was blue. That heavy, radiating feeling in my stomach was like a deep, fuzzy blue just sitting there.

Step 5. Release it. Time to let it go.

Visualize the power of the mind pushing that defined feeling up and out of the body. Once you’ve named your feeling, located it in your body, and labeled it with description/color, you’re ready to let it go—to release it.

Take one more deep breath and then really picture pushing that feeling/color out of your body. Do you feel it sneaking up your chest and out of your head like a mist or cloud? Do you feel it pushing out of your feet and fingertips?

Everyone will experience this differently. Feel into it and picture it leaving you. Imagine the emotional block inside you dissolving. Fading out and away.

After doing that whole process, I felt such a lightness—a weight lifted—I ended up releasing this ball of stress and fatigue that was inside of me.

ERM will remind you that you have the power within to take charge. To create a plan to take action on what needs to get done and let go of what is not as important as you think it may be.

So, whenever you feel that wave of stress coming over you… or if you’re dreading a conversation with your partner … do the Emotional Reset Method. Your body, your mind, and your heart will all thank you.

About the Author: Robin Emmerich has spent close to a decade coaching some of the most successful women in business. She currently offers the CIJ Clarity Catalyst online course, based on the famed Stanford Masters Degree Course, “Creativity in Business,” individual coaching, regression, and worldwide retreats. Connect with Robin at robinemmerich.com and on Instagram.

This post was published on May 26, 2019, and has since been updated.

8 Signs You Definitely Need to Dump Your Job

Photo: Create & Cultivate

Spotting the warning signs of a bad relationship can be hard when you’re in the thick of it. Especially when you’re trying to stick it out for the sake of (insert life goal here). But a bad job, like a bad partner or friend, can be just as toxic. 

We’ve all had horrible Mondays. Where we feel like crawling beneath our desk and hiding out or napping for a few hours. That’s normal— even if you’re in love with your career, off-days are part of the deal. 

However, if driving to work is driving you low-key mental, or if it feels like every time you send an email, you’re sending off a tiny bit of your soul, it might be quitting time. You can suffer for your art, but don’t suffer for a job that’s going nowhere. If you’re looking for signs you should quit your job this may be just that sign.    

Here are eight red flags that the milk in your work fridge has gone sour, and it’s time to turn a page. (Hello, mixed metaphors to represent your oh so confusing mixed feelings about your j-o-b.) 

“if it feels like every time you send an email, you’re sending off a tiny bit of your soul, it might be quitting time.”

1. You feel creatively lost.

There are days when the ideas aren’t coming no matter how many cups of java you down, but IF you are coming up one espresso shot short every day, you might not be in the right job.

Before you take a dive into unemployment, try to do things that will reignite that spark with your job—like go to a lecture or take a class. If that still isn't working and you're drawing blank after blank, day after day, really consider why you think this job is the right job.

Sometimes things just fizzle out, and the best thing we can do for ourselves is realize that it doesn't have to be horribly wrong, for it not to be right.  

2. You have an abusive boss. 

Bosses, like partners, can be abusive. People who take advantage of their position of power. But being in charge doesn't give anyone the right to treat employees like animals. 

If heading into your boss’ office is something you dread because you know no matter what you do it won’t be good enough, it's time to reevaluate the situation.  I once had a boss throw trash at my head (yes, for real). I was out the door shortly thereafter.

Know your self-worth and trust in that.  

3. You’ve consulted everyone you know about hating your job.

Happy hour? What’s that? When you meet your friends after work, all you do is complain. About work.

The problem with negative energy is that little by little it starts to infiltrate every other part of your life. Others relationships suffer, and you become um, insufferable to be around.

Don’t let this happen. If your friends are avoiding your phone calls, there’s a good shot your endless complaints about work are dragging them down as well. 

“If your job makes you feel legit sad and question everything you’re doing with your life, it’s high time to move on. ”

4. You’re compromising your morals.

If you’ve found that you’re moving toward the Dark Side, without having any desire to do so, it’s either time to stand your ground, or change the ground your standing on.

Sometimes at work we are asked to do things we aren’t entirely comfortable with—but these should be things that advance our careers. For example, you don’t like public speaking, but your boss asks you to give a presentation—this is a step outside your comfort zone that’s beneficial to progress.

However if you’re being put in ethically, morally, or even illegal situations, no job is worth that risk. 

5. You can’t come up with five good reasons to stay.

Pro and con this beast. Make a list, check it twice, and if you don’t have five really solid reasons to keep your job—financial security aside—it might be time to start getting your ducks in a row. 

6 . Your job gives you every kind of the sads.

You know that feeling when you’re up at night, wondering why your dude is ignoring your calls, and you feel sad, lost, drained, pathetic? If your job makes you feel legit sad and question everything you’re doing with your life, it’s high time to move on. 

7. Your mom thinks you should quit.

Let’s consult Justin Bieber on this one. If you can sing, “My mama don’t like you and she likes everyone,” about your job… remember: Mom is always right. She was right about that 10th grade boyfriend, and she’s right about this job. 

8. You're letting other opportunities pass you by.

Some people in relationships are never satisfied because they are always on the lookout for the next best thing. That's not what I'm suggesting.

But if the work universe is offering up an out—or a better job, or maybe even a less financially lucrative, but potentially amazing job, and you're not taking it out of fear—close your eyes and take a leap.

More often than we care to admit, it necessary to take a step back in order to alter our course, and start down the more meaningful path.

This story was published on February 18, 2019, and has since been updated.

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