The 6 Small Business Grants You Need To Apply To Now

Source: Darling Magazine

As entrepreneurs, we have a lot of ideas that we want to get started on right away. We live with an ambition of wanting to do it all, but reality can hit when we realize that we really need the funds to start fueling our vision. Of course, nothing is achieved without investing in it first, and that starts with time and money. If at first you might feel discouraged that getting funding for your business isn’t feasible for lack of capital, or you just don’t know where to start, the best place to start is by applying to grants. 

We’ve already talked to you about how to write a killer proposal for a grant - now it’s time to put those skills to work. Below we’ve gathered some of the grants you can start applying to now to bring your vision to life. 

The Eileen Fisher Women-Owned Business Grant Program

We know Eileen Fisher for the amazing label that she started with only $350 and a vision. Aside from creating a line with signature pieces the are created for creatures of comfort, Eileen’s has shared her passion for creating a thriving business with other female entrepreneurs with her Women-Owned Business Grant Program.

The program awards five grants annually to businesses that are 100 percent female-owned and share the founding principles of social consciousness, sustainability and innovation, plus are ready to move into the next phase of development.

FedEx Think Bigger Grant - Small Business Grant

FedEx wants you to hear your elevator pitch, and they want you to think outside of the shipping box. With their Think Bigger Small Business Grant, they annually award 10 winners, along with one grand prize winner who $25,000. Just give them a short profile about your business, and record your elevator pitch to them, and enter! (2017 grant to be announced soon.)

InnovateHER Think Bigger Grant - U.S. Small Business Grant

This is one of the many grants created by the U.S. Small Business Administration, however, in 2015 they introduced The InnovateHER Challenge which recognized female entrepreneurs that are creating business that are critical to the booming economy, regardless of what field they’re in. This grant provides an opportunity for female entrepreneurs throughout the U.S. to showcase products and services that have an immeasurable impact on the lives of women and families (30%), have the potential for commercialization (40%), and fill a need in the marketplace (30%). Six winners are awarded, and the first place winner is awarded $15,000 for their small business. 

The Amber Grant Foundation

For nearly 20 years, The Amber Grant Foundation has been awarding women who are looking to fulfill their entrepreneurial dreams. Every month, they award Qualifying Grants $500 as selected by their WomensNet judges, and one of their 12 monthly qualification winners are awarded $1,000 at the end of each year. Also, voting for grants are open to the public, so you can encourage people in your network and shareholders to vote for you to help you win their monthly grants!

Local Women’s Business Centers

While there are many federal and nationwide grants that you can apply to, you can also tap into the local grants that are much more niche. The U.S. Small Business Administration has many local grants that are listed in their database based on your city and state that you can apply to now. 

Economic Development Agencies

Every state and many local governments have economic development agencies dedicated to assisting new and established businesses to start, grow and succeed. Services provided by these agencies typically include start-up advice, training and resources, financial assistance with loans, grants and tax-exempt bonds, business location and site selection assistance, employee recruitment and training assistance and a lot more to ensure that your small business thrives. You can search your city or state to see what agencies are offered in your area.

Honorable Mention: Womensphere Venture Incubator

If you are a starting a business in STEM are want to find a grant that strictly tied to your cause, then the Womensphere Venture Incubator is created for you. Although this is not a grant, this is one of the many resources for your business that you can invest your time and money in that will ultimately let your business grow.

This Is How You Celebrate a Raise Without Offending Anyone

Celebrating a raise is not like celebrating your birthday—you can’t invite everyone to the party. But after months—years, even—of hard work, how do you give yourself a well-deserved pat on the back without making others feel less than stellar about their own work? Promotions at work are public knowledge, and most co-workers will be happy for your deserved success. However, raises, bonuses, and the like, are often not shared for understandable reasons.

Here’s how to celebrate your well-deserved success without bumming out the person typing away next to you at work.

USE DISCRETION 

There are people in your life who will always be happy for you, but total transparency when it comes to talking money with co-workers is tricky. It’s also still considered taboo in most workplaces. There are parity arguments to be made for salary transparency, but things can get awkward pretty fast when co-workers find out you’re making more than them. Even if it is deserved, you don’t want to become the pariah of the coffee pot talk.

"Things can get awkward pretty fast when co-workers find out you’re making more than them."

Tweet this. 

If there is someone in your office with whom you engage in reciprocal sharing, meaning you share you salaries with each other, then by all means share! Research has shown that transparency among female co-workers helps in salary negotiation.

However, you don’t want your salary to become the point of reference for raise meetings. (Nor should anyone use, "Well, I know that Jenny makes X,” as an argument for a pay increase.) Though perfectly legal, it may cause your boss to think you’re unprofessional and could affect future raises. There are subtle differences that contribute to pay variances, unseen by co-workers but acknowledged by bosses.  

If you decide to share, it’s like Pandora’s box: That information is out there and alive. There’s no telling who will find out or what damage it might do, and, ultimately, your boss is the one who has to deal with the aftermath.

DON'T SHARE ON SOCIAL

Sharing is caring—most of the time. If you and your closest head out to dinner and drinks to toast your successes, consider resisting the urge to share on social. Most of your co-workers, and likely your boss, follow you. While you should be able to revel in your raise, remember there are polite ways to do so.

If you do want to share, consider a post that toasts to all the successful women in your life. Post a specific honor or milestone you reached at work that’s not tied to a dollar sign. You should be proud of your hard work, but keep in mind whose eyes are on your social.

TREAT YOURSELF

But only once (okay, twice). You deserve to have a little fiscal fun, but you don’t want to celebrate your raise by upgrading your life. In fact, financial advisors agree that it is a mistake to upgrade as your salary increases. The best way to celebrate your raise is by banking on your future.

That means saving up for bigger life purchases. The average pay raise in both 2014 and 2015 was 3%, and 2016 is following suit. You may not be able to purchase a home by 30, but you definitely won’t be looking into mortgage options if your rent increases every time you are rewarded at work. Be smart. Be save-savvy. Get that bag you’re eyeing, and then plan on contributing more to your 401(k).

The original version of this article appeared on My Domaine.

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Do We Still Need Female-Only Spaces?

The Wing, the women-only space that opened in NYC this past October from co-founders Audrey Gelman and Lauren Kassan, had some women asking, do we still need female-only spaces? 

Of the space's intention Gelman told Forbes, “The space is food by women, wine by women, designed by women, our lawyer is a woman. Basically, every inch of the space is the product of the minds of self-identifying women. You feel that."

Similarly, The WW Club (The Working Women's Club) founded by Phoebe Lovatt, is a space for working women worldwide. They host global events and have a strong online community, hosting group chat mentor sessions with boss women like Viceland's Executive Creative Director, Amel Monsur. And yet, in an very forthright Instagram post yesterday, Lovatt wrote, "I'll be 100% honest. Just last Saturday, I was speaking with friends about the future of The WW Club...about whether a gendered 'space' could still be considered a relevant need in the west in 2016 (and beyond), given the rapid strides that women seemed to be making in all spheres." 

There was a pause in the text. "How naive," she wrote. Lovatt went on to say, "I just didn't realise how much of it [work] was still left to be done." 

Lovatt is, of course, referring to the upset heard 'round the world on Tuesday night. #Election2016. What was presumed by all media and pollsters would be a night celebrating the breaking of ceilings and the ushering in of the country's first female President, became for many, a breaking of hearts. 

As a female founder, Jaclyn Johnson, founder of Create & Cultivate, which has a predominantly female demographic (though men do attend and occasionally speak on panel), has many times experienced the pendulum swing of the gender issue. Moments where it feels like everything is going to work out great and others that call for stiff drink, a recharge siesta, and a game plan. For many, this moment in history feels like the latter and has women championing the need of female identifying-only spaces as spaces for positive collective action.   

 "I’ve seen the clouds parting," says Jaclyn, "with more women at the helm of large budgets and leading prominent companies. Which is why it’s important for more women to excel in the financial aspects of running a business, especially funding, investing and raising money so we can help balance the gender inequality."

"It’s important for more women to excel in the financial aspects of running a business."

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It's why spaces like The Wing, The WW Club, Create & Cultivate, and countless others remain vital. They give female founders and entrepreneurs the space to flourish, to dole out advice to those just starting out, and to network with new like-minded contacts.
 
"While the women-in-business movement is strong," Jaclyn says, "a 'girls’ club' has also formed, and the responsibility is now on female CEOs and others in powerful positions to give opportunities to deserving female entrepreneurs."
 
"But this girls’ club won’t usher in the gender inequalities that I've faced in the past," she notes. "Instead, it will be an opportunity to mentor young women looking for guidance and empower women-owned businesses."

It's not about keeping the boys about. It's about lifting other women up with both emotional and intellectual support. 
 
So, will the girls’ club be the new boys’ club?

It’s on us to make it happen.

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Considering Going Freelance? Here's What You Should Know

photo credit: unsplash.com

FREELANCING IS KIND OF LIKE BEING YOUR OWN BOSS. But it's not rainbows and butterflies. You need to hustle and you're constantly at the whim of clients.

HERE’S WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW BEFORE MAKING THE SWITCH TO A FREELANCE LIFESTYLE.

If you’re thinking of ditching the 9-5 and working independently you’re not alone. According to a survey by Freelancers Union and Upwork, one in three Americans are now freelancing, and 50% say they wouldn’t trade their freelance career for a more traditional job even if it paid more.

Of course, it’s not all that surprising considering that freelancing allows workers to choose when and where they want to work and build their career around their lifestyle.

The independence freelancing provides means it’s often an ideal choice for women who are juggling the demands of a career and motherhood, and research shows that the majority of full-time freelancers (53%) are now women.

Flexible doesn’t necessarily equal easy, though, and going freelance also means taking on a lot of additional responsibility. So whether you’re a writer, photographer or web designer, here’s what you need to know before taking the plunge.

1. YOU MUST CREATE A STRONG PERSONAL BRAND

Having a strong personal brand is important for any professional, but even more so when you’re a freelancer and are essentially marketing yourself.

If you’d like to start freelancing full-time, spend some time thinking about your marketable skills and qualifications as well as what sets you apart from the competition. Once you know what sort of image you want to project, you can start building your personal brand using social media, blogs or your own personal website.

2. NETWORKING IS ESSENTIAL

As a freelancer, the wider your network, the easier it will be to find jobs. One study that looked at how freelancers get gigs found that 81% of freelancers refer work to fellow freelancers and 37% trade or barter services.

Fortunately, 65% of freelancers also say technology has made it easier to find jobs. Before you leave your current job behind, start building up your network by joining relevant groups and online forums, connecting with like-minded professionals through sites like LinkedIn and Twitter, and attending conferences and industry events.

3. YOU’LL BE ABLE TO SET YOUR OWN RATES

As a freelancer you’ll have the freedom to set your own rates, but you’ll also be responsible for handling everything from your taxes and insurance to your pension plan, so when deciding how much to charge, you should consider both your budget and your time.

Of course when you’re just starting out it can be difficult to accurately estimate how long a project will take to complete, so time-tracking tools like Harvest can be useful for figuring out how long each task actually takes you and how much you should be charging.

4. SPREAD YOUR RISK AND HAVE AN EMERGENCY FUND

The Freelancer Union report shows that 87% of freelancers earn their income from more than one source in a given month. Why? As a freelancer you never want to put all your eggs in one basket, because if your main source of income dries up unexpectedly, you’ll be in a very difficult position.

With that said, having more than one client also means sending out multiple invoices and chasing more than one person for money at the end of each month, so it’s important to have an emergency fund to cover any unexpected expenses and stay afloat when clients don’t pay on time.

5. YOU SHOULD HAVE A DEDICATED WORKSPACE 

Although freelancing means you can work anywhere from your local coffee shop to the living room sofa, it’s still important to have a dedicated workspace where you know you won’t be distracted by kids, visitors, non-work-related phone calls or household tasks. Having your own office will also help you separate your work responsibilities from your personal life.

This could mean designating a room in your home for work, renovating a garage or even looking for a coworking space in your area, which is an increasingly popular option for freelancers.

6. SETTING BOUNDARIES IS IMPORTANT

When you’re freelancing it can be harder to draw a line between work hours and leisure time, but answering emails at all hours of the day or taking on extra work without being adequately compensated can quickly lead to burnout.

Set some boundaries with your clients early on by letting them know when you will be available to discuss projects and then sticking to those hours. Also, before starting on a new project, make sure both you and the client are clear on what will be included so you can charge for any unforeseen extras and avoid working for free.

7. FREELANCING CAN SOMETIMES BE LONELY

Although freelancing does give you enormous independence, it can sometimes be a bit lonely too. If you’re working from home, you’ll probably end up spending the better part of your days alone, and meeting up with colleagues for a quick drink after work will require more planning than it once did.

With this in mind, you should consider whether working in a less social environment would suit you. Of course, there are plenty of ways to socialize outside of work, from volunteering to taking up new hobbies to scheduling lunch dates, but you will need to make more of an effort to stay social and connected once you start working for yourself full-time.

* * *

Are you a full-time freelancer? What tricks do you use to stay organized, motivated and connected? Let us know in the comments.

An original version of this article appeared on Career Contessa. 

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Good Girls Revolt: How 4 Powerful Career Women Asked for Raises

Have you sunk into watching "Good Girls Revolt?" 

On Friday, Amazon released their newest binge-worthy show based on Lynn Povich’s 2012 book The Good Girls Revolt, about a gender-discrimination lawsuit filed by her and her peers at Newsweek in 1970. The series follows a group of young female researchers at "News of the Week," who ask for equal treatment. (Sound familiar? It should.) GGR operates in the past and present, addressing the on-going struggle of female employees and their inability to out-earn male colleagues--  or simply earn an equal wage. 

In the pilot, Nora Ephron (played by Grace Gummer) questions why she and other female researchers are scrambling over research assignments that will be handed off to the men. "All that's left to do is make yourself indispensable," says peer Patti Robinson (played by Genevieve Angelson) when Ephron first joins the team.  

So in honor of good girls revolting and equal pay, here are 4 boss women who have asked for more money, more flexibility, and more respect. 

LILLY LEDBETTER 

“I went over and interviewed with Goodyear in 1978, and I worked for Goodyear tire company for 19 years before I found out that the males were making 40 percent more than I was making for working the same job. Someone left me a little torn sheet of paper and tipped me off anonymously, listing my base pay and their base pay. The first thing that popped into my mind when I saw it was how much I had lost on overtime. I thought about my retirement and my 401(k) and my social security, because what you earn is what determines your retirement. I was just humiliated and embarrassed, to say the least, that a major corporation could do me that way. The company I worked for told me when I [was] hired there: ‘If you discuss your pay, you will not have a job here.’ So no one ever discussed their pay. I never knew. I had no idea how much someone else was making … After I got that tip, I filed a complaint with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) and the wheels went into motion with the company.” — Self, January 2016

MICHELLE OBAMA 

“I took my last job [before my husband entered the White House] because of my boss’s reaction to my family situation. I didn’t have a babysitter, so I took Sasha right in there with me in her crib and her rocker. I was still nursing, so I was wearing my nursing shirt. I told my boss, ‘This is what I have: two small kids. My husband is running for the U.S. Senate. I will not work part time. I need flexibility. I need a good salary. I need to be able to afford babysitting. And if you can do all that, and you’re willing to be flexible with me because I will get the job done, I can work hard on a flexible schedule.’ I was very clear. And he said yes to everything.” —Parade, June 2014

SHERYL SANDBERG 

“When I was negotiating with Facebook’s founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg for my compensation, he made me an offer that I thought was fair. We had been having dinner several nights a week for more than a month and a half, discussing Facebook’s mission and his vision for the future. I was ready to accept the job. No, I was dying to accept the job. My husband, Dave, kept telling me to negotiate, but I was afraid of doing anything that might botch the deal. I could play hardball, but then maybe Mark would not want to work with me. Was it worth it when I knew that ultimately I was going to accept the offer? I concluded it was not. But right before I was about to say yes, my exasperated brother-in-law, Marc Bodnick, blurted out, ‘Damn it, Sheryl! Why are you going to make less than any man would make to do the same job?’

"Was it worth it when I knew that ultimately I was going to accept the offer?"

Tweet this.  

My brother-in-law didn’t know the details of my deal. His point was simply that no man at my level would consider taking the first offer. This was motivating. I went back to Mark and said that I couldn’t accept, but I prefaced it by telling him, ‘Of course you realize that you’re hiring me to run your deal teams, so you want me to be a good negotiator. This is the only time you and I will ever be on opposite sides of the table.’ Then I negotiated hard, followed by a nervous night wondering if I had blown it. But Mark called me the next day. He resolved the gap by improving my offer, extending the terms of my contract from four to five years and allowing me to buy into the company as well. His creative solution not only closed the deal, but also set us up for a longer-term alignment of interests.” — Lean In, March 2013

GLORIA STEINEM 

“The most ironic that comes to mind is that Time magazine asked me to write an essay about the early women’s movement. It was a long time ago — it was maybe in the ’70s. First of all, they asked me to do it because they didn’t have a woman on staff. Secondly, I did it under deadline because it never occurred to me that they would pay me less than they did men writing the same essay. Time had a page in each issue in which there was a personal essay. When my agent got the check, he told me that I was getting paid less than men who wrote the same essay. So, I wrote the editor of Time and complained and he sent me a Gucci purse. I took the purse back to Gucci because I needed the money and tried to get cash for it and I couldn’t.” —Fusion, December 2015

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The 4 Non-Negotiables to Look for When Hiring

photo credit: Sara Forrest 

Katherine Warnock, General Manager at Darling says that one of her greatest strengths as a leader in business is her ability to hire and create a dynamic team.

Katherine says, "through the years my love for people, in all their uniqueness, coupled with my background in strategic, creative and branding-based management has developed a keen eye for talent."

Instead of trying to answer the impossible blanket questions, "how do you build a team?" she tries to point to the rarely promoted non-negotiables when it comes to building a dynamic, driven and seamless team. Here are her top four: 

1. CULTURE

This is one of the most important elements I look for when hiring. I am always asking myself when making a hire, “Is this person going to add to our culture or bring it down?”  I want contributors, not distractors. I want peaceful seekers of excellence and bold communicators, not toxic gossips or entitled mentalities. I’m very protective of the atmosphere I, as a manager, am asking my staff to spend a majority of their time in. I learned long ago that one must tend to culture the same way one tends to a garden — with intentionality, love and a commitment to warding off the weeds.

2. IDENTITY

Sense of self. I want to know who you are and that you know who you are. It is important to me that you know not only your strengths, but that you are also at peace with your process in the areas you still need development in. The art of process and development is so often overlooked by managers. I have no problem hiring people that still need development. I do, however, steer away from hires where I do not feel a potential employee is self aware of what they do and do not bring to the table.

I love someone who knows their weaknesses and who isn’t afraid of the fact that they are still on a journey. I can work, mentor and shape those types of people. I don’t have room for ego or pretenses; I do have time for process.

3. RESPECT

Do they honor well? Honor and respect are the foundation from which I manage and are therefore traits that I require in any hire that I make. I want to build a culture around people who understand the potency of respect and of giving honor to those above them, around them and below them. I will not hire someone that lacks in this.

So many organizations and businesses today want to see the world changed, sustainable enterprise garnered, people united, impactful reach developed and walls broken down; it’s all an admirable pursuit that starts here, both in making the posture of respect and the ability to honor requirements in any hire.

"I want contributors, not distractors. I want peaceful seekers of excellence and bold communicators."

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4. TEACHABILITY

Can this person be molded? Or do they think they have arrived? Can I give them constructive feedback that yields mature dialogue? Or will I be met with defensiveness? When hiring I want to make sure I am building a team of teachable people who embrace and esteem the importance of growth. I do not care if you have a list of accolades as long as Steve Jobs or Mother Theresa, if you are not willing to press into the best version of yourself, alongside a community trying to do the same, then I will not hire you.

Bottom-line, no one sprints to line up for constructive feedback. It is hard and vulnerable for all of us, but I want to search out those who are brave enough to invite and even pursue feedback. That’s how we grow, by allowing that which we cannot see about ourselves, our blind-spots, be brought to the forefront so we can get there faster, together.

What makes me good at my job? I’ve learned that these foundational pillars can be replicable for anyone, anywhere — employer and job seeker alike — if we are willing to follow them and in equal measure let them mold us. I doubt many would disagree with the above, as they are all virtuous and estimable traits. To that end I’m not actually saying anything new or controversial here.

I’m more asking the next wave of business leaders and business makers (employees) to go beyond the singular, yet necessary, pursuit of abilities by expanding their scope to include these markers which will serve them and the vision far more than skills alone ever could.

An original version of this article appeared on Darling. 

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#HeyLauren: Are We Addicted to the Hustle?

"Hey, Lauren" is our new bi-monthly column from licensed psychologist Dr. Lauren Hazzouri.  Dr. Hazzouri is a TV show host and founder at Hazzouri Psychology, where she’s carved out a successful niche treating women who are psychologically healthy—but trying hard and not getting satisfaction in various aspects of their lives. Through her life experience and training, Lauren’s developed a program that allows women to live meaningful lives and feel fulfilled doing it. Lauren is founder of HeyLauren.com, a project for women, where she provides evidence-based insights on job stress, relationship woes and everything in between. 

photo credit: Kelley Raye

An advanced google search for “hustle” and “women,” results in 13,500,000 quotes, images, and articles attempting to inspire us to Hustle Hard (insert muscle emoji) with messages like: “Real woman hustle,”  “Good things come to those who hustle,” and my personal favorite, “If she ain’t got no hustle, then she ain’t worth shit.” (insert blank face emoji.) While the intention—to motivate us to try our best—is clear, the tactic is warped and the message falls horrendously short of empowerment. 

Over 40% of household breadwinners in the U.S. are women ( U.S. Bureau of Labor), and women are the fastest growing group of entrepreneurs in the U.S, making up 30% of privately owned businesses.

So, in many ways it appears that our #Hustle mentality is working for us, but at what cost? My concern is that the #Hustle is another of our reactions to the patriarchal system that we are attempting to overcome. As a clinician, I see women everyday (just like you!) hustling their tails off to meet deadlines, prove their abilities, close the big deal. At the same time, they’re exhausted, feeling less than satisfied, exhibiting a nervous energy that hardly makes life enjoyable. To me, the #Hustle is simply a glorified manifestation of perfectionism in the workplace, and it needs to be viewed as such before we #Hustle ourselves directly out of the very game we’re equipped to dominate when in tune with ourselves, unaffected by the noise, and achieving balance.

"It appears that our #Hustle mentality is working for us, but at what cost?"

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The #Hustle is appealing, of course. I’d go as far as to say it’s addicting! We’re human-beings, and humans tend to repeat anything that feels good. For women, especially, nailing the presentation and bringing home the bacon feels SO damn good. Let’s face it— while becoming increasingly common, doing so remains against all odds. So, it can feel intoxicating. I get it! Let me be clear, I’m not preaching mediocrity for the masses. Mediocrity makes my skin crawl. Instead, I’m suggesting that balance is best. While it may seem risky, I’m willing to bet that your performance and quality of life both improve when you hop off the #Hustle hamster wheel and into you. When you’re in tuned with yourself, your voice, your relationships, and your community, there ain’t no telling what you can accomplish. Bottom line—the #Hustle is limiting your potential. It’s certainly not fueling it. 

To increase life satisfaction and performance simultaneously, let’s take a page out of the overcoming perfectionism handbooks that is guaranteed to have you #Hustling toward your health. With health and balance working for you, the sky’s the limit!

Here’s how:

LOSE THE STINKIN' THINKIN'

There are ways of thinking—Black and White thinking, Catastrophic Thinking, Awfulizing, and The Shoulds— that are synonymous with the #Hustle and lead to hamster wheel hell. In lieu of internalizing these negativistic thoughts, recognize the debilitating patterns and let ‘em go. It’s typical practice in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to swap the “irrational” thoughts for more “rational” ones. Because your thoughts make complete sense, given the patriarchal society you’ve unintentionally internalized, I choose to call them self-destructive vs. self-promoting thoughts, instead. NOTE: Even changing the language is a necessary part of working counter to the current of pathologizing women and gives us permission to be ourselves—as we are, today. 

GET BACK TO THE BOUNDARIES

Your time matters. Your relationships matter. Your community matters. We’re all in this together, and we need you. It’s important to keep your character—honesty, accountability, responsibility, and integrity—in tact. Doing so will allow you to easily set boundaries and save yourself for the living part of life. Meeting deadlines and slaying the day are fine and dandy, as long as you can do that, while feeling the value and meaning in your presence. 

GET IT DONE! 

Enough with the procrastination, too! You spend as much time talking about the #Hustle as you do #Hustling. Most of the time, it’s because you’re afraid your product won’t be “good enough”. I suggest a cognitive shift. Crush your “to-do” list with a Do it to get it done mindset. The result will surprise you! In dropping the self-prescribed standards, you’ll engage in a lot less bitching and a lot more doing. You’re welcome!

"Crush your 'to-do' list with a do it to get it done mindset."

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FORGIVE YOURSELF (AND OTHERS, TOO!) 

Compulsive behaviors are born out of pain, low self-esteem, and the like. The answer is NOT to continue with self-destructive patterns. Instead the answer is to let go of past upsets and disappointments and treat yourself as you would a loved one. The #Hustle can’t hold a candle to self-compassion when it comes to feeling good. So, if you’re going to compulsively do anything, I motion for compulsive self-care seven out of seven days of the week. 

GET TOUGH ON GUILT

Fear, guilt, and shame fuel the #Hustle mentality. The answer is exposure! You’re afraid to take the day off? Take two! Worried you’ll let your team members down? Well, you’re a team member, too. Even more— when balanced, your work is on time, on point, and on top. So, really, run toward discomfort! The key is to get comfortable being uncomfortable. 

THINK BIG PICTURE 

There’s no such thing as a make or break situation. Nothing and no one can make or break you, other than you. So, take it all in stride—one day at a time. We’re all on a quest to “meet our purpose”, but you are your purpose. Without you, you’ve got nothin’. And, you’re integral to the big picture. So, it’s high time to treat yourself with the value you possess between your head and your toes. 

Following these tips will allow you to shine through the #Hustle with ease, balance, and grace, keeping in mind that yes!—your contribution to the world is ultimately important. BUT, You are your contribution! #HustleToYourHealth and the rest will follow (ten-fold!). 

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Dr. Lauren’s on a mission to bring psychology to the public. She contributes to a variety of online publications, provides candid talks to women’s organizations across the country, and was recently cited in Forbes. Lauren’s next appearance is on September 9, when she will deliver a Ted Talk entitled Life Works. Her talk is said to highlight various aspects of the book she’s currently writing on “how to do the human-being thing really well.” 

Dr. Lauren is the 2016 recipient of The Psychology in the Media Award from The Pennsylvania Psychological Association and is a member of The American Psychological Association. For more from Lauren, visit @dr_lauren  and sign up for her weekly newsletter at HeyLauren.com.

TO SUBMIT QUESTIONS:

Why Diversity and Representation Matter in Business and Media

photo credit: Sidney Copeland

Gigi Gorgeous looked into the Create & Cultivate crowd this past Saturday in Atlanta and said excitedly, "There is so much diversity under this tent!" The audience cheered, acknowledging the importance of representation at the conference.

The six women on stage, Gigi, Jodie Patterson, Nicolette Mason, Daniela Ramirez, Maya Penn, and Mattie James were gathered to discuss the importance of diversity and representation in business and media. Nicolette put it simply, "People deserve to see themselves in the media."

Here are some of the other important takeaways. 

ON NOT PUTTING OURSELVES IN BOXES

Jodie Paterson, co-founder of (recently sold) DooBop and mother of a trans son, Penelope, told the crowd, “We have to be able to choose all of the things that we are, not just one. We have to let our whole selves out." 

"I never thought working for a fashion magazine was ever in the realm of possibility for me," said blogger and writer Nicolette Mason. "I had the education and the background, but there was no one who looked like me. No one I could look to as an example," she shared. "When Vogue Italia reached out to me and asked if I would be a contributor and a year from that point Marie Claire asked me to come in as a columnist and I penned a column for five years-- it was so amazing and surreal to know that my voice did have the potential and ability to be part of the mainstream." 

ON HOW TO OVERCOME STEREOTYPES

Maddie James, moderator and the blogger behind Mattieologie kept it simple, but succinct “Stories kill stereotypes,” she said. The more we share, the more the outliers become part of the cultural narrative. 

This was echoed by Jodie who said, "I see diversity as a domino effect. Diversity is some of us taking the first steps and putting ourselves out there and then asking and demanding it from all. If it's stunted in one area, it's stunted in all areas. People see and feel their way through change, not just statistics. It’s our job to tell stories. It’s also the media’s job to let the story happen."

"It’s our job to tell stories. It’s also the media’s job to let the story happen."

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Gigi agreed. "Being a transgender woman I know the hardships that the people in my community go through," she shared. "I think it's important to get my story out there for the world to see. We saw this with Caitlyn Jenner and Laverne Cox-- they're huge media icons but they made transgender a household topic and that's really powerful. It changes people's perspective." 

"When you start sharing stories," said Jodie, "people are able to see and feel their way through change, rather than statistically analyze change. 

ON THE MEDIA'S ROLE IN RESHAPING THE NARRATIVE 

Maya Penn, CEO of Maya's Ideas, and the youngest (16) on the stage told the crowd, “I think the media needs to start stepping up. They need to say we need more diversity.” 

Nicolette added, "It's the job of content creators and media creators to reflect our real world." 

Maya said no one should feel like an odd one out. "We need diverse voices to show that representation matters. In non-traditional fields like STEM and science."

“I think the media needs to start stepping up. They need to say we need more diversity.” 

Tweet this. 

"My third child is trans and we did a video with Cosmo and it received 9 millions views," said Jodie. "It's the media's job to allow the story to unfold. I read this quote that everything is copy, meaning if you slip and fall on a banana, people laugh at you. If you slip and fall on a banana, and then you tell people, you own the laughter because that's your story." 

"There have been baby steps along the way," explained Nicolette, "but there is so much more room to include diverse voices."  

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The 10 Must Read Takeaways From Create & Cultivate ATL

photo credit: Kelley Raye Photography 

The speakers at Create & Cultivate never disappoint. They never fail with the mic and knowledge drop. Here are ten of our favorite moments from last weekend at #CreateCultivateATL.

AYESHA CURRY ON NOT GIVING YOURSELF BOUNDARIES: “The moment I gave myself a ceiling is the moment everything fell apart. The moment I removed the ceiling, things started happening. I threw that ceiling in the garbage.”

ADRIANNA ADARME OF A COZY KITCHEN ON MOTIVATION: “My motivation was I didn’t have a Plan B. And that still really motivates me. There is so much competition and so many people that are super talented, and to honor the place where I’m at I have to think that way.”

"I didn’t have a Plan B. And that still really motivates me."

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MANDY KELLOGG RYE OF WAITING ON MARTHA ON THE HUSTLE: “I worked two full time jobs for two years. Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s beginning or end. I bet none of you followed me when I had 100 followers.  This is sacrifice and struggling with finances. Just keep fighting the good fight.”

RACH MARTINO ON SPENDING THE MONEY:  “Hire a professional photographer. That first hundred dollars was really hard to give up, but it changed everything for me.”

DOLLEY FREARSON CO-FOUNDER OF HIGH FASHION HOME ON HARD WORK: “Practice like you’re in second, play like you’re in first. It’s a [Steph Curry] quote that applies to the business world because it is about pounding the pavement, putting in the hours and working really hard. Know your competition, respect the competition and push yourself to the limit in any industry. In the end it ends up elevating everyone’s game.”

"The moment I removed the ceiling, things started happening.  I threw that ceiling in the garbage.”

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SUSAN TYNAN FOUNDER OF FRAMEBRIDGE ON THE ‘TOP’: “You’re the one ultimately responsible, so you can’t throw blame anywhere else.”

IVKA ADAM ON BEING FOUNDER OF ICONERY: “If you’re not comfortable with uncertainty it’s important to bring someone in as a partner who is comfortable with it, or find ways to bolster that. Ultimately if it’s too rocky for you, it may not make sense for you to start a business. You are unsure every day; it’s so up and down. You have to know yourself and how you handle uncertainty."

IVA PAWLING CO-FOUNDER OF RICHER POORER ON ROLES AT THE TOP CHANGING: “The guy isn’t always the numbers or the brains behind the operation. And the woman is not just the creative. Don’t get hung up on it.”

ANNA LIESEMEYER OF IN HONOR OF DESIGN ON FINDING YOUR TRIBE: "Whether it’s a friend or significant other, it helps to have an outside perspective to give you a set of wings."

NICOLE RICHIE ON TAKING THE 'EASY' ROUTE: "If your want to save yourself some energy, just be yourself. There's nothing else to be. We each have something to bring to the table. I think instead of looking outward and focusing on what everyone else is doing, you have to have trust and faith enough in yourself to know that you’re going to bring something totally different.”

And honorary mic drop from our own editorial director:

"We're not here to play the game, we're here to change it." 

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Why Selling Out Doesn't Mean What It Once Did

"Selling out" has long been considered the scourge of the creative. The dollar sign death knell to the artistic soul. But relationships to career and goals change. Certainly, the economy has changed. And the dreams of our twenties take different shape in our thirties.

Life happens, moving us along-- sometimes unwillingly-- and we find ourselves in the crevice between the rock and the hard place, making important decisions about the "business" of our art. OR, in the best case scenario, this next step is so fluid, so sensible, we can't help but forge ahead.

Because living the dream implies that there is only room in your life for one.

We don't think that's true.  

It's something that Anna Bulbrook, violinist/musician and now, founder of GIRLSCHOOL, an LA-based music and arts festival that celebrates and connects female-identified artists, leaders, and voices in an inclusive, action-oriented, and forward-thinking way know something about. This past January GIRLSCHOOL launched its first annual weekend-long festival, called FIELD DAY WEEKEND at the Bootleg Theater in LA. The goal is to spearhead "creative or community-based events, online editorial content, and collaborations with organizations that create or support positive change." 

So we chatted with Anna about gold records (she's got one), living "the dream," and why building a business was the next smart and oh-so-soulfilling step.  

How has your relationship to career changed from your early twenties until now?

When I was 23, I left my corporate job and ran away with the circus—I mean an indie rock band—for what turned into ten years. I saw an opportunity and I needed to see how far we could take it. With nothing to lose but a job I was lukewarm about at best, I’m so glad I did.

… Because we took it pretty far. We put out several studio albums on major labels, toured the world, did a bunch of TV shows, music festivals, all that good stuff. I even have my gold record hanging up somewhere.

That said, I’m in a different place now. I’m 33. I’ve gotten to “live the dream,” and see it through to its logical conclusion. I now want the ability to drive my future for myself. I want to put my money where my mouth is, and to make something that serves others. I want to support women in music. And I want to build a business that can carry me into my 40s and 50s. (And unless you’re in U2, that business is not being a sideman in an alternative rock band.)

"I want to support women in music. And I want to build a business that can carry me into my 40s and 50s."

Tweet this. 

I also want some creature comforts: I want to be home on weekends and holidays. I want to participate in the cultural life of my city. I want to be present for my friends and relationships. That stuff is all real.

A lot of creatives feel the pressure to ‘stay the course’ with their dreams, sometimes to their detriment. When and how do you think “giving up” makes sense? 

Rigidity is the enemy of… everything. Throughout life, what you want can and will change. Your needs change. Your identity can change. Maybe your family situation changes, and it clarifies things. Maybe you just wake up one day and see things you never saw before. (That has happened to me a couple of times now.) These changes can happen slowly or instantaneously. And when they happen, there is zero shame in changing course, admitting that your feelings have shifted, or acknowledging that an earlier approach doesn’t work anymore.

I try to look at it as exploring and being open to what needs to happen, rather than “giving up.” The single most important thing in life is to do things as opposed to not doing them—even if that means closing a chapter to make room for something new, or taking a break to earn some income for a while.

Adrien Young, Anna Bulbrook, and Jasmine Lywen-Dill. Photo by Jen Rosenstein.

Why did you decide that this point in your career was the right time for Girlschool?

I didn’t think too hard about it. As soon as it occurred to me to do it, I went for it. If I had slowed down to think it through, would I have talked myself out of it? Would I have missed out on all this learning? Or would I have found a different challenge to take on? The beauty of signing yourself up to do something, and then figuring it out, is that doing is incredibly powerful. You can’t decide if something was successful, or fun, or completely sucky, unless you’ve done it first.

Without that first test-run of Girlschool, we wouldn’t have proven that this great un-met need existed. We wouldn’t have attracted an assembly of amazing women to work together to build Girlschool into a proper little music festival and brand. And we wouldn’t have discovered all the other ways that Girlschool can help to create a space and a platform for talented women to connect. 

How do you strike the balance between being creative/following your passion and also making money? 

I think transitions are by definition intense. When I went from working full time to being in a band, I spent a full year pulling 60-hour work weeks, plus recording with two bands, plus using all of my vacation days to go on tour. (The things you do when you’re 23!) It was hard, and I didn’t sleep a lot, and I wasn’t in the best shape. But at the end of that year, I had played on two records that changed the course of my entire life (the first The Airborne Toxic Event album, and the first Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros album), and I was in a very, very different place than when I started.

"Rigidity is the enemy of… everything."

Tweet this. 

This year, I’ve been in a double transition. My band is on hiatus, so I’ve had to rebuild my income in addition to building Girlschool. This year, I worked harder than I did when I was 23 for less money. I took a lot of risks, I made mistakes (which I hate doing), I didn’t sleep a lot, and I recently bought some “relaxed fit” jeans. But I made it work because I care too much about Girlschool to not find a way.

I should add that in addition to earning money by playing violin, I landed a summer-long producing job this year because of… Girlschool. And even though it slowed me down a little bit with Girlschool stuff, I was happy to have the job because it supported me while letting me sharpen my Girlschool skills in a bigger sandbox.

So when I say that it’s OK to do things differently than you ever have before, I mean it.

Also, “relaxed fit” jeans are amazingly comfortable.

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5 Very Important Job Hunt Questions

photo credit: Sara Forrest 

Emily Levine is VP of Career Group Companies, a staffing firm specializing in full-time and temporary placement of administrative staff for today's leading companies. Her sister, Natalie Boren, is Managing Director. Both have an inside track on the wild world of hiring. 

Here they break down five common misconceptions about the job hunt, all designed to help you land the position you're eyeing. 

IS SUMMER THE SEASON FOR HIRING?

When people come in to see us, they typically have no idea of whether it’s a good time to look for a job, or a bad time. We constantly hear, “What’s the market like out there?”

Often times people think that summer is a good time to go and interview because their boss’ are on vacation and their work load has slowed down. Summer is actually a very slow hiring season for our clients. That mens it’s a good time to meet with agencies/recruiters, but keep in mind that companies who are hiring aren’t usually as fast in the process over the summer.  Lots of companies utilize summer interns, so after intern season is over, hiring tends to pick up! Think: a week or two after Labor Day. December can also be a slow time because of the holidays, but it’s an excellent time to find temp work.

IS IT GOOD TO TALK ABOUT GROWTH DURING AN INTERVIEW?

There is a fine line that a candidate interviewing for a role needs to straddle.

Being eager, motivated and focused on growth definitely shows that you have goals and want to succeed. However, if too much emphasis is placed on growth, a hiring manager usually feels like the person won’t be happy for long in the role that they are interviewing for. So it’s important to really emphasize that you are motivated, but also know that in joining a new company you have to earn your stripes and build trust, showcase what you can do, and then grow.

SHOULD WE GET INTO THE NITTY GRITTY? 

I’ve heard it’s okay to talk about salary, hours, and benefits on the first interview. Is this true?

We usually say to let the salary, hours and benefits topic arise naturally, and we think it’s best for the HR manager or hiring manager to bring this topic up on the first round. You don't want them to think you are too pushy, forward or only focused on the money/benefits/hours.

THE HOT BUTTON QUESTION OF THE YEAR 

Is it ok to talk about a work/life balance?

Be very careful how you phrase this. There is a difference between being a clock-watcher and wanting a work/life balance. It’s key to emphasize that you are NOT a clock-watcher. Hours in the office range depending on both position and industry. If you are someone who either prefers not to or simply cannot work overtime due to personal obligations (i.e.: picking your child from daycare), it’s always a good idea to highlight your commitment to your work even though you cannot work much overtime in the office itself. Today exempt employees are fortunate to have the ability to work from their mobile phones or log on their personal computers to work in the evening, as more and more companies are granted exempt employees after hours access. Just remember -  always highlight your work ethic as being strong and always be a team player. Prospective employers want to know you are committed to getting the job done before you go home.

HOW DO YOU BEST UTILIZE A RECRUITER? 

Is it best practice to reach out to a hiring manager directly when you are represented by an agency?

It’s extremely important to always go directly to your recruiter with any questions or concerns regarding your job search. Your recruiter has a relationship with the client and is more aware of anything going on in the background regarding your status with that particular client. Furthermore, in order for your recruiter to represent you with the most positive outcome in landing you your dream job, they need to be aware of everything going on.

To be considered by Career Group send your resume to their website directly! You can apply to jobs on: www.careergroupinc.com, www.fourthfloorfashion.com, orwww.syndicatebleu.com, and your resume will be routed directly to a recruiter. 

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7 Ways to Deal with Demanding Higher Ups

Image credit: Almost Makes Perfect

When it comes to childhood memories, we reminisce fondly on endless summer days, Saturday morning cartoons and a general lack of responsibility. But recollecting other memories, like an acne-ridden face, chunky braces and the bully who tipped over your books in the hallway, feels far less warm and fuzzy.

Although your complexion has since cleared and teeth have straightened, sadly, bullies are just as prevalent today as adults as they were 15 years ago. Just trade the cafeteria for the water cooler and hand-written notes for passive-aggressive emails, and not much has changed.

According to research from the Workplace Bullying Institute, nearly 27 percent of Americans have experienced or are currently experiencing some kind of bullying in the workplace. While there are varying levels of severity depending on the aggressor and his or her actions, when that bully is your boss, the stakes – and your emotional response – are heightened.

Maybe your direct supervisor has inundated you with difficult work out-of-the-blue, and has no concern that you’re leaving the office once the lights turn out. Or maybe, you’re miffed from being continually passed over for new, challenging work and promotions.

Regardless of the wrongdoing, there’s one thing for certain: you absolutely, positively must do something about it.

That doesn’t necessarily mean stomping into your supervisor’s office this second and offering her a piece of your mind. But it doesn’t mean slumping in your desk and simmering, either. You’ll need to approach your higher-up with a calm, collected demeanor and tactical game plan if you want to ensure a harmonious work environment and, most importantly, the growth of your career. Here are the seven most important steps to take before approaching a bully boss.

1. Are you in danger?

While bullying (in any shape or form) is unacceptable, if you feel as though you are in danger or becoming hurt, tell a trusted friend, family member of confidante and leave the situation now.

2. Decide early on what you want to accomplish.

Not all resolutions end in fireworks. If you feel as though nothing good will come of approaching your boss, it’s 100% okay to consider leaving your position. Workplaces are oftentimes riddled with difficult politics and hierarchies, which can make a bullying predicament difficult to overcome. While you search for a new job, try to remove yourself the situation as best as you can and lean on other coworkers/confidantes for support.

"Not all resolutions end in fireworks."

Tweet this. 

Of course, if you believe that directly confronting your boss will bear the best results, there’s actually evidence to support your action. According to research from EHS Today, individuals who approached a hostile boss reported higher levels of personal satisfaction at work, removed from feeling like a ‘victim.’ Regardless of your method for coping, ensure you know exactly what you want before diving in headfirst.

3. Start writing everything – meaning everything – down.

In the event you decide to approach your bullying boss, take precaution and start writing every interaction or instance of bullying down. And we mean everything.

Whether it was a demeaning, condescending email or eighth consecutive night you left office after nine o’clock (while he left at five), make sure to log every action, no matter how seemingly insignificant. No matter if it’s used to draft your speech once you approach your boss or to show your boss’s boss, build your case as meticulously as possible.

4. Before outlining your next move, take a moment to step into her shoes.

Whether it was Miranda Presley in The Devil Wears Prada or Dolly Parton’s superior in 9 to 5, totalitarian, ruthless bosses are a popular narrative in our culture. And while your gripes with your boss are certainly warranted, there might be an entirely different story you’re not aware of.

Is your boss shoving piles of work on your desk because she is swimming in work as well, or is he still reeling from his divorce? You’ll still need to express your feelings to your supervisor, but try to remember, he or she is a person too. Refrain from pointing fingers until you know all the facts.

5. Arrange a meeting (but prepare a game plan in advance).

Once you’ve assembled your ammo (AKA factual evidence) and mustered up your courage, you’ll need to finally do the dreaded deed: schedule a time with your boss to talk.

Try to pick a time when he or she will be the least overwhelmed, like in the morning earlier in the week. By Thursday or Friday, your boss might be less inclined to listen to your feelings, especially when they are seemingly negative. Before you enter the room, know exactly what you will say – and what you want to come out of it. Do you want a promotion or a decreased workload? Ensure there’s an end goal, and your boss is made aware of it early on.

6. Think positive.

Although tempting to blurt out to your bully, statements like “I feel like you’re continually turning me down for raises” will get you nowhere. Instead, try to take the emotion out of your complaint and spin it in a positive light.

For example, try: “I’ve noticed that you have turned me down for three consecutive raises. Can you please explain to me why, and what aspects of my performance I can improve for the review period?”

7. Continue to work hard, but know when enough is enough.

Once you’ve left the confrontation with your bully boss, things will undoubtedly be awkward for a bit. And of course, there will be a significant chance he or she will ignore your feelings and continue their bullying behavior.

If this is the case, know when enough is enough. Consider approaching your boss’s supervisor or HR. If that’s out of the question, there’s no shame in finding a new role – with a boss who will appreciate your talents and invest in your success.

This was originally published on Shine, a daily messaging experience to help you live your best life.

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How to Create a Killer Gut Instinct for Business

Image credit: Curated Cool 

As someone who’s traveled her entire life, traversing at different speeds has given me the tools needed to graduate from each lesson along the way.  Whether short trips or long ones, living in various countries for years at a time, or backing the world for nine months straight, travel is impactful. Beyond that, it is tough, life-changing and eye-opening. 

It's also has taught me most of the skills I apply in business today. 

Here are my top six:

BE CULTURALLY SAVVY

We have a global economy. Which means jobs are no longer relegated to one city. Many offices operate in multiple countries, and being able to understand co-workers culture or learn the methodology of how and why someone works the way they do, can give you currency. You’ll have more in common and will be a relatable employee, making your added two cents go that much further.

TAKE RISKS 

I learned this one the hard way: by actually doing it. On a bus trip in Vietnam, I needed to go to the toilet and the bus stopped in a tiny place that wasn’t even on the map. With seconds to decide, I looked at my friend and said, “What do we have to lose? Let's just do it.” It ended up being one of many jump, and the net will appear moments. Companies look for people who aren’t afraid of the unknown, as they seek out the curious. Know that even if you fail, the good ones fail forward.

"Know that even if you fail, the good ones fail forward."

Tweet this. 

Without risk, there is no reward.

WORK OUT YOUR GUT INSTINCT 

A favorite muscle of mine that is often overlooked is the inner gut. It needs to be worked out and strengthened, just like anything else. When you're traveling problem solving is part of the itinerary and you become accountable for your actions and make choices on-the-go.

When we aren’t surrounded by people to make choices for us we develop a killer gut instinct that can prove very beneficial to your career. Employers encourage workers to form opinions, make snap but important choices, go with their gut, and many times will put you in a position where you are the final decision-maker. What’s your gut telling you to do?

PROBLEM SOLVE LIKE A PRO

Nothing says time to problem solve like the wrong direction, out of gas, missed a flight, forgot my stop and no English. The above has happened to me in so many ways, and then some! I figured it out, survived, and you will too.

Companies love to see how a worker handles problems that get thrown their way. 

EXPERIENCE GRATITUDE 

Sure, it's nice to think we can make it on our own, but the reality? Yeah, we all need people. I’ve never been in a country where I didn’t need help, sought out advice, or listened to a local. People have been so kind and gracious towards me on journeys, it's only right to pay it forward.

By asking your co-workers or friends in business how you can help them in their life, or perhaps help with a problem that needs solving, you're showcasing your uniqueness, your willingness to help, and the art of contributing in a selfless way. Trust me, it’s a thing.

DEVELOP CONFIDENCE 

You don’t need months of travel to obtain it, but by making tough choices, taking risks, and jumping every hurdle that comes your way (sometimes gracefully, sometimes not) you’ll get there. Spending months in countries where you don’t speak or read the language will help you develop an internal confidence that is irreplaceable. 

Cream rises to the top, and a smart boss will recognize this. Own your confidence and wear it proud.

###

Melinda Fleming is the founder of Curated Cool. She been blessed by the Dalai Lama, trekked the Himalayas, and shopped the flea markets of London . She is always seeking what’s unique & chic regardless of the city or town she's in. 

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Here's How to Master the Interview Follow-Up

Above: Diamond Patterned Thank You Notes

“Follow-up” and “follow through” are two very similar concepts that are key to your success in the business world. And you can bank on potential employers paying attention to your post-interview follow-up skills as an indicator of your follow-through when it comes to the job. 

See, landing the interview and then nailing it, that’s just half the battle. You need to follow up with finesse to inch ahead of other candidates. One way to do so is to send a personal thank-you note. The art of the thank you is not lost. We worked with Papyrus, the social expressions company that knows all about a professional thank you, to create the ultimate list of follow-up to-dos.

TIMING IS EVERYTHING 

Before you leave the interview, ask the interviewer about the timeline for making a hiring decision to know when to follow-up. 

The way you follow up with your interviewer will indicate how you will follow up with your potential clients. For instance, sending a quick “Thanks for the meeting today” email is great. Most hiring recruiters say the faster you get this out, the better. It shows that you’re on top of things, you have tenacity and you want to stay top-of-mind. Sending more than one email in a week is a bother. 

IF AT FIRST YOU DON’T SUCCEED, DUST YOURSELF OFF 

And try again. 

If they said they will make a hiring decision within a week, sending one more polite inquiry after that week has passed is more than OK. In fact, it’s smart due diligence. You never know why or when something might have slipped through the cracks. 

"Landing the interview and then nailing it, that’s just half the battle. You need to follow up with finesse."

Tweet this. 

In the second follow-up, mention recent company news, whether it’s a blog post you enjoyed or a news article that included the brand. 

Asking, “Did I get the job?” is not what this follow-up is about. Instead, direct your efforts so that the person hiring thinks, “This candidate should get the job.” People don’t like a teacher’s pet, but they do like someone who pays attention. And if you weren’t on the list of potential hires, this might put you on it. 

BE BOLD, BUT NOT BRASH 

Hiring managers and founders are inundated with emails. Get out of their inbox and into their head with a handwritten note on beautiful stationery. 

It should be a bold and to-the-point thank you follow-up in which you reference a specific point of the conversation that you’d like to expand on. It’s not enough to thank them for their time— you need to tell them WHY you deserved it. There is always a tidbit of information that will show how closely you were paying attention. 

A good outline of what to write is as follows: 

Dear Jackie, 

What a great meeting this afternoon! When you mentioned your company is really focused on growing your social media presence among Gen Z, the ideas started flowing. As someone who has doubled their own social media following over the last year and reports a 4% engagement rate, I feel confident that I can help you achieve that goal. I would love to talk over more ideas and strategies with you. Thanks again for your time and the opportunity to meet. 

Best, 

Arianna

Use all those 140-character skills you developed with Twitter to nail the art of the quick note that will make them want to click through — aka call you back. And what are those “ideas” you mention? That’s for you to share in interview number two. Make sure you drop the note in the mail as soon as you can so that it lands on their desk 2–3 days post-interview. 

THE STATIONERY YOU CHOOSE SAYS SOMETHING ABOUT YOU

When you’re picking the card, consider the audience and your reasoning.  

Is the company a start-up and you suspect the founder would consider a more playful approach? Was the interview in a more corporate environment where something classic would be appreciated?

After considering your audience, consider yourself. Cards can reveal as much about you as the words you write in them. Here is a chance for you to show your interviewer that you understand the culture of the company, but also feel comfortable injecting your personal brand and approach into their world. 

TO SEND OR NOT TO SEND…A GIFT 

For some, this is an overeager act. For others, it shows that you’re really serious about the position because sending a gift after every interview would not be good for your bank account. 

Choose something that’s fun and won’t take up space on their desk. À la compliment pencils. What’s not to love? Send them with a note that says, “Pencil me in as your new hire.” Or super cute bow tie paper clips for that stack of paper you noticed on their desk.

KNOW WHEN IT’S TIME TO MOVE ON

Even if you think you lit that interview on fire, it’s possible another candidate came in and burned the building down. 

There are going to be plenty of jobs you want and don’t get. The most important thing is to keep building professional bridges, which is why you should also always ask if it’s OK to connect with them via LinkedIn before you leave the initial interview. Make the connection, that way even if you don’t get the job, they are still in your network and they can see your updates. 

You never know when that job, or another that’s more suited to your skills, will open up. 

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Should You Take a Job Outside Your Industry?

Is it better to take a job outside your industry, or wait until something better comes along? It’s a precarious situation. If you wait for something to come up, you might be waiting (and struggling financially) for a while, however if you do take a job that’s outside of your desired field or specialty, you may be settling when something else is right on the horizon.

When you’re deciding whether or not to accept a position, it’s important to ask yourself 3 main questions:

Is this the direction you want to take your career?

Is there room for growth?

Do you have the luxury of being picky about what kind of job you take or do you need to find something now (due to finances, employment gaps, etc.)?

Ultimately, if it’s not the direction you want to take your career, it’s not worth it. If you have the opportunity to take a new job, but it’s not the direction you want to take your career, it’s not worth the risk. If you’re exploring an opportunity because it has better pay or better benefits, that is a personal decision where you have to weigh the pros and cons.  But think on this: if you drive 20 miles south when you want to go north, you’re going to have to drive an extra 20 miles back in the direction you want to go. Essentially, once you take your career in an opposite direction, it is that much harder to get back on track.

What will happen if you take a long term job that isn’t what you want? On the surface, it may not seem terrible. Everyone understands that you need to make a living and subsequently do what needs to be done to make that happen. However if you do take a long term job that isn’t in the direction you want to go, you might be creating more hurtles for yourself. 

Think of it this way: If you have been working in business development but want to transition into marketing, the more positions you take in business development, the more likely you are to appear as a business development professional, and less likely to appear as a marketing professional. If you want to transition into marketing, a better way to go about this would be to take classes and volunteer to collaborate on projects with the marketing department at your current company. Then it makes sense when you apply for a marketing role. Even if you have to start at the bottom, taking a role in the right industry or field is an important step. The more you can put on your resume that’s marketing related, the more your marketing skills will be highlighted. 

When you’re looking to transition jobs or roles, it is important to think about the big picture. This is where the “room for growth” question comes in. Are you exploring other opportunities only to find that you have to start at the ground? If you want to take your career in a specific direction, look for roles that point you in the direction of your goals. Focus on positions where there is room for growth, so that even if you have to step down a level in authority, you can take solace in the fact that the end justifies the means. 

"When you’re looking to transition jobs or roles, it is important to think about the big picture."

Tweet this. 

Everyone starts from the bottom at some point, so as long as there is room for you to grow and learn, there is nothing wrong with starting from scratch.

What Should You Do If You Haven’t Found the Right Opportunity, But Need Money Now?

If you are struggling financially and find yourself eager to work, even if it’s not the best position, consider taking a temporary role where you can explore your options and establish new connections. There is nothing wrong with taking a temporary or contract position to fill the transition space, however taking a permanent job is just that-- more permanent.  

In this case, I always suggest that people look into temporary or contract positions. The partnership of "temporary" and "job" has a somewhat negative connotation, but I personally know many people (myself included) where temp positions have opened completely unexpected doors.

Temporary positions serve three main benefits:

They give you income while you’re in transition or in between jobs;

They give you the freedom to look and apply for other jobs while you’re still working without the guilt;

They establish networking connections and opportunities for you.

If you excel at your temporary position, chances are that you will meet people who can a) point you in the right direction, b) know of a job that may interest you, or c) will work with you to keep you at the company but progress to an area that better suits your qualifications.

There is no down side to taking a temporary position in between jobs, because if you don’t like it, you can simply end the position. Similarly, if you do find a better position, there is no need to feel bad about leaving a job or a company. A temporary position is made to be flexible, so companies are generally pretty understanding if you find a full time position that is better suited for you long term.

It can be frustrating when deciding if it’s better to take a job outside your industry or wait until something better comes along, but ultimately, you have to keep your eye on the prize. Focus on finding positions that will propel you in the right direction, even if you have to work your way up, and work hard to highlight your unique skills and abilities.

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A native San Franciscan, Michele Lando is a Certified Professional Resume Writer and founder of writestylesonline.com. She has a passion for helping others present the best version of themselves, both on paper and in person, and works to polish individuals' application package and personal style. Aiming to help create a perfect personal branding package, Write Styles presents tips to enhance your resume, style, and boost your confidence.

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Do You Know Your Financial Health?

Financial health starts with getting real about your goals. A no filter, no Facetune, long-hard look about where you are, where you want to be, and the realities of getting there. So we asked Colleen Wilson, goal setting and finance nerd, and founder and CEO of Collaborate Chicago - a consulting, coaching and advisory company dedicated to helping women build profitable companies and have impactful careers, for her tips and career advice.

Colleen says, “It starts with getting real about goals, setting a good foundation and putting a plan in place to get you there. The end of the year is the perfect time to re-evaluate where you are versus where you want to be, reflect on lessons learned, and think about how to move closer to your goals.  

Ask yourself: what would my future self do?”

Here are her six steps to healthy financial future.

1. UNDERSTAND YOUR FINANCIAL GOALS AND SET THE FOUNDATION NOW

Investing in your future isn’t only about securities; it all starts with goals.  A Harris Poll survey reports that roughly 76% of millennials believe they need a financial plan to achieve their financial milestones, however they are also more likely to worry about never achieving traditional milestones. So what’s your plan?

With so many resources available (many free) on personal finances and financial goals, take the time now to get clear about what your financial goals are. Maybe a house is one of them or that dream wedding. Maybe it's to retire at 50. Maybe working part time when you have kids is on the list. Maybe it’s as simple as having enough in the bank to not worry about emergencies throwing you off your game. Get clear on what those goals are.

Get them on paper and research how much they will cost. Applied knowledge is power...and much of it is free. There are several great goal visualization softwares available that can help you see how much you’ll need and how much you’ll need to save for each based on your age and risk tolerance levels. A good personal financial advisor or financial planner can be instrumental in the process as well.

Small changes create options.

2. CREATE AN EMERGENCY SAVINGS

If you don’t have an emergency piggy bank to break into, you might end up broke. Lots of financial advisors will refer to emergency funds as rainy day funds-- things that you need to prepare for “just in case.” You can't always control when a rainy day hits and you have that emergency expense. But what you can do is have a rainy day fund to make that bump in the road a bit easier to navigate.

"If you don’t have a emergency piggy bank to break into, you might end up broke."

Tweet this. 

In 2015, the national average personal savings rate in the US was 5.7%. That’s not high. Ask yourself: how much of each paycheck am I setting aside for things like parking tickets, the car breaking down, or the dog getting sick? Most millennials largest fear is living paycheck to paycheck. Take control and start saving a bit today.

WHAT YOU CAN DO NOW:

• Put down (again, on paper) what you need for 3-6 months of living. Start there.

• Consider setting up a high-yield savings account with 3-6 months living expenses. Make sure that if something happens you do not need to resort to putting those emergencies on a credit card that you can’t pay off right away.

The more you save, the more you’ll want to save.

3. IT SEEMS A LONG WAY OFF, BUT YOU NEED TO CONSIDER RETIREMENT

While most millennials say they expect to retire, only 22% of millennials say they are currently saving for this common financial goal. When you are young time is on your side, and retirement savings vehicles like IRAs and 401ks offer the advantage of tax-deferred savings. The more you save earlier, the more realistic this goal becomes; you put time on your side.

WHAT YOU CAN DO NOW:

• Contribute to a company-sponsored 401k - especially if your company offers a match.
• Open and fund an IRA - any financial advisor, broker dealer, or financial planner can help you get started.

Our generation will want to retire, but we’re not used to thinking about our future; we’re used to thinking about the here, the now, and it could cost us in the long run.

However, time is on your side when you are earlier in your career and as you get older, your needs may change. Starting sooner rather than later pays off. You know what makes it easier? Knowing WHY you are making small sacrifices here and there (see #1...get those goals!)

4. BUILD BETTER HABITS

You can’t always control how much you make, but you can usually control how much you spend (again, see #2 about rainy day funds). Can’t save what you want? It’s time to look at that spending. Where is your money going each month? And how is that serving your goals?

"You can’t always control how much you make, but you can usually control how much you spend."

Tweet this. 

Shortly after getting my first job after college, I remember working with my dad to build a spreadsheet to see how much I could spend given how much I was making. We calculated necessities like taxes, health insurance, car payment and rent. It was sobering to see that given my salary I could only spend $50 on “entertainment” per month! I could spend that in ONE night out!. Even in 2006, that terrified me. But it also empowered me. What could I move around? Should I be shopping at Pottery Barn or asking my family for hand-me-down furniture? Knowing what my goals were even when I was only making a small salary, helped me prioritize. Even today, after getting married and making more money, I still review my spending each week to see where I am getting off track. It also helped me carve off larger and larger portions of my income for savings versus constantly upgrading my lifestyle with each promotion. Why shouldn't you automatically do this? See number 2 :)

WHAT YOU CAN DO NOW:

• Use a tool like mint.com or your bank transactions/credit card statements to review if your spending is in alignment with your goals. Are there any categories that are getting too big? Too many big dinners with friends? Too many Amazon Prime purchases?
• What about subscription services that you rarely use? Look for opportunities to cut out some of the unnecessary expenses and immediately funnel that money each month (automatically) into an emergency fund or towards one of your financial goals.

You owe it to yourself to know your numbers and know where your money is going.

5. THERE IS NO WEALTH WITHOUT HEALTH

Anyone else concerned about rising healthcare costs? One of the best ways to make this less of a future burden concern is to prioritize your health now. Just like building strong financial habits now, take your health seriously and be proactive.

Proactive = Preventative

Ask yourself some of the below questions and get into action. Often there are many resources at our fingertips, we simply have to look.

WHAT YOU CAN DO NOW:

• Are you using your company or self-funded health benefits to their fullest?
• Do you get a gym membership or health stipend through work that you are not using
• What about access to nutritional coaches or EAP programs?
• Does your employer offer an Health Savings Account or Flexible Spending Account that makes saving for medical expenses even easier?
• Are you getting your well woman exam each year?
• Getting those teeth cleaned? Do you know the cost difference between a cleaning and a root canal?!

Small changes when you're young can make a world of difference in how you think, act, feel and live. While you can’t always calculate the exact cost, bank on the saying “your health is your wealth” being true.

6. LOOK AT YOUR CAREER & ASK YOURSELF, WHAT MORE CAN I DO?  

I’m not talking about taking more classes or going to get a master’s degree. I’m talking about re-examining your salary and compensation. When was the last time you took a look at how your salary compares in the market place? Are you wanting a new role or position that comes with a higher salary?

WHAT YOU CAN DO NOW:

• Identify where you want to be and investigate what it takes to get there. Simple.
• Consider if you need a new skill or leadership experience. You don’t need to invest in a degree, but there are many weekend courses that will teach you new, relevant skills that place you at the head of marketplace. Don’t know InDesign? Take a class. Feel a little shaky on best new social media practices? There are courses.
• Are you qualified now but have not had those conversations with your leader?
• Make it a priority to look for a job where employers 401k match, offer paid leave, or have great health care that can save you money.

Ensuring you are properly compensated is a cornerstone of financial health. These are all decisions you need to look at when you take a job. Make sure you feel good about where you are and if you don’t, know what your options are and have a plan to get there. This is where a great business coach, advisor or mentor can come in handy.

###

Disclaimer: This content in this communication is opinion and for informational purposes only; it is not intended as financial or legal advice. For specific guidance on your financial situation please consult a qualified financial professional.

Colleen Wilson is a speaker, business coach and consulting, and the founder & CEO of Collaborate Chicago - a consulting, coaching and advisory company dedicated to helping women build profitable companies and have impactful careers. Prior to creating Collaborate Chicago, Colleen held several leadership roles at Edward Jones and most recently led product marketing for the Square Capital platform at Square. Collaborate Chicago is a culmination of her professional experience, business school and consulting work, and is the resource she wish she had as she navigated her career and launched her business.

Colleen is a obsessed with women empowerment, whiteboarding, product development, and finding the perfect shade of lipstick. Contact Colleen at hello@collaboratechicago.com

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Millennial Women Are Burning Out Faster Than Ever

Millennial women are burning out. They are also leaving their jobs at a faster rate than their male counterparts. This has nothing to do with babies. So what’s happening?

Here are four common reasons and what we can do about it.

THE REASON: SOCIETAL EXPECTATIONS

Even though women are starting companies and bringing home the bacon more than ever, there is still gender bias that exists in both the workplace and at home. In 2013 the US Census released data showing that 40% of household breadwinners were women. Still, the pressure to perform gender roles at home and smash through them at work is exhausting.

WHAT CAN WE DO: BELIEVE IN THE POWER OF THE FUTURE! 

This is a tough one because this is something that will (fingers-crossed) work out over time. The rate of men staying home to raise the kids is not congruous to the number of women in the workplace. And women have been starting businesses at a faster rate than men for the last twenty years. Research has shown that women will create over half of the 9.72 million new small business jobs expected to be created by 2018.

So, we keep fighting for parity, in all areas of our lives. And we look to the future generations. Specifically, Gen Z, who, research has shown will be the least judgmental of all generations. They are less likely to ascribe to gender norms or put people in boxes.

"We keep fighting for parity, in all areas of our lives. And we look to the future generations."

Tweet this. 

Which means expectations will change-- for both genders-- and ideally, the pressure to be all things to all people will subside.  

THE REASON: UBER-CONNECTED WORKPLACES

Technology, you Medusa. Your snakes have slithered into every moment of our lives and it’s turning us to stone. Or ash, since we’re talking about #burnout.

Our parents never had to deal with this! They’ll never understand the reality of working round-the-clock and having an employer that can contact us at all hours of the day. I once had a boss who, if he wasn’t in the office, Facetimed me almost every morning to make sure I was staying on track. It became exhausting to see his face. Sometimes I was in the bathroom. Other times, I’d miss the call because I was refilling my coffee. If I missed it, I was reamed. And I burnt out 100% and left that job.

WHAT CAN WE DO: SWITCH OFF, WITHIN REASON

Easier said than done. A black screen is our worst nightmare, but we are creating an abyss more ominous than any black screen: our professional burnout before 30. 

"Technology, you Medusa. Your snakes have slithered into every moment of our lives."

Tweet this. 

You need to set boundaries with your job. There is no reason that you need to be answering emails at midnight or checking your phone FIRST thing upon waking. The healthiest mind is a balanced one. How many times do we have to say it before it sticks?

Start somewhere small-- because small changes create bigger boundaries and better habits. Aside from the obvious dangers of texting while driving, make a pact with yourself to NEVER answer a single work email or text while you are driving because it will help set a boundary. It will not only save your life or others’, but driving is a 100% legitimate reason to not answer a frantic text/email from a boss or colleague. Tell your boss you’ll no longer be answering texts or emails from the car. As long as you make it to work on time, this is healthy place to start.

THE REASON: UNCLEAR CAREER PATHS 

We hear about women who are fired and find themselves.

We hear about women who boldly quit and find themselves.

We hear about women who make the transition from “job” to “career.”

Very rarely do we hear about women who stayed the course and found themselves within their current position. Guess what? It happens! This should excite you even though career means something very different than it did 20 years ago. The shifting technological landscape and startup world mean everything is moving at warp speed. It’s hard to know what a tenured career will look like when you can’t see two years from now. It's hard to think about the fact that maybe our generation will never really retire! 

WHAT WE CAN DO: BE THE CARTOGRAPHER OF YOUR OWN CAREER

If you feel lost within your current position, write down the goals of where you want to go. You can take the freelance backroad or you can hop on the corporate interstate but goal-mapping is important and journaling is the enemy of confusion.

This is completely on you. It’s not up to your employer or boss to create your path. If you want to move forward within the company, make it known. Talk to you supervisor about what your options are. Don’t quit because you can’t see the forest through the trees. Wipe the sweat from your brow and refocus.

THE REASON: IT’S NOT YOUR PASSION

It doesn’t help that social media features lots of influencers who have “quit” their day jobs and refused to pursue passion in the margins. Some people say that if it’s not your passion, you will burn out. But other millennial women are using this as an excuse to bounce from their obligations.

WHAT CAN WE DO: FIND THE PASSION IN YOUR CURRENT JOB

The pairing of job and/or career and passion is not a perfect one. If you are looking for complete satisfaction out of a career, boy will you will be looking for a long time! Even the people you meet who love their career, still don’t like them sometimes. It’s like marriage-- some days it’s love, some days it’s work.

Everything worth having is hard work-- that includes passion. No relationship and no job will completely satisfy you; it’s the reason why we have more than one friend. Unfortunately it’s much harder to have more than one job. So work to find the passion in the work you are doing and you might end up finding your true calling. Or falling for the job you already have. 

And then think back to point #2 and map out your career goals. 

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Hey Lauren: How Do I Become My True Self and True Brand?

"Hey, Lauren" is our new bi-monthly column from licensed psychologist Dr. Lauren Hazzouri.  Dr. Hazzouri is a TV show host and founder at Hazzouri Psychology, where she’s carved out a successful niche treating women who are psychologically healthy—but trying hard and not getting satisfaction in various aspects of their lives. Through her life experience and training, Lauren’s developed a program that allows women to live meaningful lives and feel fulfilled doing it. Lauren is founder of HeyLauren.com, a project for women, where she provides evidence-based insights on job stress, relationship woes and everything in between. 

photo credit: Tory Williams

Hey Lauren,

How do we become ourselves and build a brand simultaneously?

Thanks,

The IG Generation  

To do this discussion justice, let’s start with a short ( and necessary!) psych lesson. According to Carl Jung, Swiss psychiatrist and psychotherapist who founded analytic psychology, in order to become whole individuals, we’ve got to strike a balance among our personas, our egos, and our true selves. The persona, a mask we create and wear in public, is an expression of our egos—how we wish to see ourselves and for others to see us. The persona is not a problem, nor is the ego; they’re both necessary! The problem arises when we identify too much with one, allowing our personas to become our identities. When that happens, our true selves have little room for growth. The result is that we feel stuck and discontented, having a hard time integrating and becoming our whole selves. 

BUT HEADS UP! WE BRAND OUR PERSONAS. 

Much like identifying too much with persona, mistaking our brand identity for our true selves puts our personal individuation at risk. In short, individuation is a process of self-discovery and is said to be necessary in our quest for purpose and meaning in life. The answer is NOT to shy away from personal branding. Instead, to stay on track to true self while building a brand, a dose of objectivity is key. Your personal brand is merely a means to connect self and society. So, do your damnedest to keep your brand values in line with who you really are. This way, you’ll be sure to keep the discomfort that comes with cognitive dissonance at bay, and growth in one area won’t compete with growth in the other. 

The process of building a brand and the process of becoming your true self look very different. Think about it—building is defined as constructing something, while becoming is defined as passing into a state. Believe me!—I know. Taking action is much easier for most of us than being passive. At times, the action is in the inaction. It’s easier to practice with the end-goal in mind. Remember—the reason you’re building your brand in the first place is in an effort to make your mark on the world—to meet your life’s purpose. Research on individuation tells us that you’re going to have to get acquainted with your true self first. 

Therefore, creating an environment where your true self can emerge is necessary. 

HERE'S HOW!

START WITH CHARACTER  

On the path to becoming your true self, it’s important that you begin to act more like the wind and less like a weather vane. A ( not-so-easy!) way to do that is to hone your character through a steadfast commitment to: Honesty: Be honest with yourself and others, regardless of the consequences; Accountability: Always do what you say you’re going to do—no excuses!; Responsibility: Respond, don’t react to your environment; Integrity: Do the right thing—even when nobody’s looking! 

SPEAK UP

Say what you mean, mean what you say, don’t say it mean. People pleasing is deceitful. You think you're being so nice. Agreeing when you don't agree, being okay with whatever when you're really not is stealing.

"Say what you mean, mean what you say, don’t say it mean."

Tweet this. 

Social interaction—and that includes social media—benefits us in that it provides opportunities for us to learn about ourselves by comparing and contrasting opinions and viewpoints and allowing others to do the same. You're not only stealing a growth opportunity from you, but also from your followers, too. The path to true self requires courage.

TAKE NOTE OF YOUR HOT SPOTS

Having insecurities is part of the human condition, which is not only fine but expected! Beware of how your experiences and insecurities shape your perception. We have the tendency to morph into what people seem to like or dislike. Losing our way is rarely the result of accurate information coming in. Instead, it’s how we view the information coming in. In order to reach the ultimate destination ( your true self!), it’s important that you dismiss what feels like negative feedback by getting familiar with the irrational thoughts that perpetuate insecurity. Bottom line—look out for triggers! Monitor your thoughts. And remember, respond don’t react. 

EMBRACE THE FULL PACKAGE 

We all have many aspects to our personalities. Recognize and foster each one. A lot of times, it seems that personal branding leads women to pigeon-holing themselves into certain personas. We have a tendency to pick and choose aspects of ourselves that are seemingly more marketable and less likely to increase vulnerability. Your personal brand ( and personal growth!) can only be a success is you recognize and celebrate all that makes you, you. 

JOURNAL IT (WITH PEN AND PAPER) 

Becoming our true selves is a life-long process. There are no short-cuts, and there’s no easier, softer way. Journaling is the enemy of confusion. I recommend you journal for 20 minutes a day. The health benefits of putting pen to paper cannot be overstated. Even better, writing accesses the left hemisphere—the rational part!— of your brain. In an effort to combat outside influences, write down your thoughts. This way, you’ll be sure to take the lead from the part of you that responds with grace, rather than reacts in fear. 

"Journaling is the enemy of confusion."

Tweet this. 

Following these several tips is a part of a foolproof plan to grow personally and professionally simultaneously—a true win-win. Brand that!

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Dr. Lauren’s on a mission to bring psychology to the public. She contributes to a variety of online publications, provides candid talks to women’s organizations across the country, and was recently cited in Forbes.  

Dr. Lauren is the 2016 recipient of The Psychology in the Media Award from The Pennsylvania Psychological Association and is a member of The American Psychological Association. For more from Lauren, visit @dr_lauren  and sign up for her weekly newsletter at HeyLauren.com.

TO SUBMIT QUESTIONS:

Congrats on Your Failure

written by: Jane Helpern

At first glance, getting fired is...not ideal. In many cases, it's completely unexpected, and can render your ego and bank account severely depleted (a special thanks to last week's #spenderbender for helping slide into that unemployment office in style). There's no denying that being canned is a tough blow. We're talking emotional, professional, and financial damages -- especially in the short term (First rule: don't wallow! Get proactive with our essential job hunting tips here). But, as you'll read today, getting the ax can also be incredibly liberating, and function as the much-needed impetus for progress, growth, and change. Below, hear from four unstoppable women who masterfully manifested getting fired into their best career move yet. Because when life gives you pink slips, make pink lemonades.

Name: Allie Greenberg

Occupation: Brand Marketing Manager for Richer Poorer

HOW IT WENT DOWN: The way I was fired was actually pretty fucked. There had been rumors swirling around for weeks that there were mass layoffs coming down the pipeline. Since my company was so nepotistic, there were a ton of people there who spent more time at the free coffee bar or playing ping pong than actually doing any work - so this didn't seem that shocking to me. The week it happened, they sent out an all staff meeting invite where the big boss basically told everyone some people were about to be fired and how bad he felt about it. In retrospect, it was VERY Hunger Games. Since I worked on one of the busiest teams (generating content for a social audience that was over 10 million people at the time) working 50-60 hour weeks, I assumed my job was really safe. They had actually just brought on an agency to help support us because we were so busy and social media, in general, was exploding. I thought I was fine. Little did I realize they brought on the agency to replace us and the weeks prior when I was walking them through my piece of the puzzle I was actually training them to take my job.

“When life gives you pink slips, make pink lemonades.”

Tweet this. 

HOW YOU FELT: I think there were about 60 people fired that day. Initially, I was really shell-shocked. My job paid quite well, I worked ten minutes from home, and I had become best friends with two of my coworkers. That said -- I hated that job. HATED. I had a boss that created a glass ceiling for me and stood in my way from any true growth or promotion. Plenty of ideas I pitched got killed and anything that didn't, I never felt like I actually got credit for. I loved the mission but didn't feel like what I saw on the other side was true to what we messaged.

THE TURNING POINT: I think while I felt supremely fucked over, I felt the massive relief of not having to get up and go to a job I hated. I also realized I kind of hated social media altogether and that I should take some time to think about what it was I actually wanted to do. I got a bunch of jobs offered right after I got fired but lived off severance, unemployment and rando freelance jobs while I waited for the right opportunity to come along. There were times where I thought it would never come along but yay, it did. Honestly it took awhile but THANK GOD I held out. 

WHERE ARE YOU NOW: Honestly, nearly two years later at my current job I could not be more grateful for what happened. I have the most incredible boss who values me and my strengths and challenges my growth. She cares about making me better at my job and sees that by me being awesome at what I do I make her look more awesome. I truly, truly, appreciate the opportunities that come my way every day at Richer Poorer and the ownership I get to take in working towards a common goal. I never ever felt that at the job I was fired from. 

Name: Kim Lash

Occupation: Sr Manager of Brand Marketing + PR at Nasty Gal

HOW IT WENT DOWN: I was working at a men's clothing brand to launch their women's brand. I was around 26-29 yrs old during my time there. I had dedicated almost all of my time and the majority of my energy towards this job. In some ways I lost myself in it. I was surrounded by mostly males in the hip-hop/action sports industry and often felt a lot of pressure. I got to experience some incredible moments and work with really talented people, but I also faced a lot of challenges. I sensed that some company changes were being made. Then one day they called to tell me the female division of the brand was being outsourced and they were letting go of the internal team immediately. At the time it felt extremely disappointing to be losing something I had worked so hard to launch. I knew it had taken over my life excessively, but being let go was still upsetting. 

HOW IT FELT: Immediately after the job ended, I had a migraine for a week. I went to the doctor and she told me it was just stress. I had all this built up tension and it all came out when I stopped working there. I decided to take a couple weeks off before looking for a new role. During that time, I went to museums in LA I had never been to. I went to the beach alone. I felt my eyes were truly opened for the first time in a while. Then I started to interview for new jobs and was finding a lot more opportunities in New York. So after being in SoCal since I was six years old, I got up with no secured job and moved to NY. Shortly after being in NY, I got a job that was somewhat similar to my previous role. Then I decided to freelance. Most importantly I turned 30, I grew up, I found myself and I had a new perspective. 

WHERE ARE YOU NOW: I am back in-house with a fashion brand in LA. And I am more grounded, while still being extremely dedicated to my job with a strong work ethic.  By losing that job, I found how to respect myself. Ever since I have been much more fulfilled and better at my work.

“By losing that job, I found how to respect myself.”

Tweet this. 

ADVICE FOR WOMEN WHO ARE STRUGGLING TO REBOUND FROM GETTING FIRED: I know it's cliche, but I think everything happens for a reason. Even if it feels horrible at the time, you will learn from the situation and grow while figuring out your next opportunity. There are always going to be positions that aren't a fit and positions that are a fit. I would say to go with your gut when making decisions regarding a new role. And that the people in your network who know you best are a great way to land new promising work.

Name: Sable Yong

Occupation: Freelance Writer & Beauty Editor

HOW IT WENT DOWN: I was working for a women's site that I like to dub the poor man's Refinery29, as an associate beauty editor. I was mined-off LinkedIn from a recruiter at that company and met with the Editor-in-Chief of the site. I wasn't super hot about the site, but as a freelancer, I figured it'd be good experience and a "legit" resume builder and career move. Anyway, she left the company three months in and was replaced by the living incarnation of Regina George, who in my eight months at the company managed to systematically pick off everyone on the team who wasn't on her agenda. After about four straight months of conflicting direction from the now three supervisors above me, I was pretty much always made to feel like I wasn't doing enough. Anyway, some weird Wordpress glitch about unsaved edits was blamed on me, and I was unceremoniously let go one Monday afternoon being told, "you've been asked to improve your work many times and we aren't seeing it so we have to let you go."

HOW IT FELT: It was a sucky feeling, but I'd be lying if my first reaction didn't involve great relief. I couldn't really get into it at the time, and there was a stern HR lady present to mediate or witness, so I was just like "OK" and got my things and left. It was ultimately for the best because it was confirmation that I should stop trying to get into an industry I want to be a part of the traditional way (i.e., starting with grunt work from the bottom and grovel my way up) and use my actual skills. When I wasn't distracted by my daily existential dread I could actually use my energy towards doing something fulfilling and career advancing. 

THE TURNING POINT: When I went back to freelancing it was leagues better. I had greater insight into the inner-workings of the media/editorial world and way more editor and PR contacts. I was even, weirdly enough, mined from Google for a Dove campaign after their casting director found a story I wrote about dyeing my hair blonde. Generally, the pattern goes that any good opportunities that have come my way have been because of my own work that represents me, not a publication.

ADVICE FOR WOMEN WHO ARE STRUGGLING TO REBOUND FROM GETTING FIRED: Examine what you're really good at. Enjoy and do as much of that as you can, of your own volition. Marketing or positioning yourself to be perceived as someone experienced in whatever that thing is helps. Either way, I think when you approach what you want to do by playing to your strengths it works out better than trying to fit into someone else's mold. Also, always be saving your contacts.

Word to the Wise: “Always be saving your contacts.”

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Name: Nicole (No Last Name Given)

Occupation: Screenwriter

HOW IT WENT DOWN: I was fired on January 8th, the Friday after the 2-week winter break that is the only obligatory hiatus that the entertainment business collectively takes. During this hiatus, my mom had intense back surgery and I got in back-to-back car accidents; I knew something in the universe was off. That Sunday, the last day of winter break, I walked into my mom's room and told her, "I hope I get fired tomorrow." Low and behold, that Friday, I got the boot. Sometimes I wonder if I willed it. That entire week I noticed I was being dropped off inter-office emails. Things were being scheduled I wasn't privy to, only to find out that they were interviewing my replacement right under my nose.

HOW IT FELT: Getting fired is a shock to the system, even if you do will it. You immediately feel inadequate and useless. Stressors like money and career come flooding in. You rack your brain about the things you did wrong (in my case, not many) and you think about what you could have done better. I was very close with these women, and one of them actually cried in the room. When I reflect on that, I think they knew they were losing a good team member, but ultimately we had to go our separate ways. I always felt grateful for the job and I worked for a team of creative and smart women who were running a big network television show. A door into Hollywood is a door. I felt very lucky, and I still do. 

“Getting fired is a shock to the system. You rack your brain about the things you did wrong.”

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THE TURNING POINT: When I was called in for the actual letting go, they gave me very vague reasons. "You know Nicole...it's just not a good fit anymore." Months later, it couldn't have been more clear. I hadn't written a single page of a screenplay. I hadn't been creating for TWO YEARS. My creative brain is a driven one and I needed to take the leap to see if I could actually thrive on my own. I would have never quit my job; a paycheck somehow always trumps the real work that needs to be done. I realize now I should have quit a long time ago, but I never had the courage. Despite by my affection for the women I worked with, I knew that they didn't value me creatively. I brought them a book that I thought would make an incredible animated series. They very quickly turned the idea down. It was then I knew that perhaps we just didn't vibe creatively. So I wrote a treatment for the series, kept it to myself, and now 8 months after being fired I am very happy to say that I am turning that same idea into a television series.

The week that followed my firing I made a full 9 to 5 commitment to screenwriting. I popped out two pilot scripts, finished my film, and got a series into serious development. I made a deal with myself: every single day, even on Sundays, I send at least one professionally intended e-mail, text or phone call. My main professional takeaway is to trust your own taste. Getting fired ,if anything, was just fodder for another good story.

Jane Helpern is a freelance writer, copywriter, and founder of Jane Says Agency. She enjoys helping brands find their voice, writing about fashion and feminism, and walking-at-an-incline-with-wine™

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This Entrepreneur Walked Away From a Scholarship at a Top University

Written by: Karin Eldor

Whether Jasmine Star waxes poetic about entrepreneurship on a podcast, offers up social media engagement tips in her Facebook Live workshops or talks about her dog Polo in her Insta Stories, one thing is clear: she speaks as she is. The wedding photographer and social media strategist has blazed a trail of authenticity, guts and determination.

Jasmine’s star rose to fame as a wedding photographer when she was 25 years old. But here’s the clincher: when she first picked up her camera, she was actually a UCLA law student who didn’t know the first thing about photography. Luckily, she’s into shots in the dark.

Talk about a pivot: Star took a life-changing leap of faith, without even knowing if photography was her passion. 

“That's the crazy thing,” she admits. “I didn't know if photography was my passion... I believed it was my passion, I hoped it was my passion, but I didn't know it was my passion.  However, I had to at least try to figure it out. I owed it to myself.”

Star explains: “When I was 25 years old, doctors said my mom was dying of brain cancer.  She was only 50.  In that moment, I thought I was having a midlife crisis.  I was literally half the age of my dying mother… I understood how fast life flies by and I promised to do everything I could to ensure I didn't look back on my life from a hospital bed and wonder, What if…”

So she walked away from her UCLA law school scholarship to follow her heart.

“I believe entrepreneurs owe themselves the chance to try to pursue their curiosity,” Star continues. “Curiosity is the thing that leads to passion, so I'm hell-bent on chasing my interests to determine if they'll morph into my wildest passions.”

“Entrepreneurs owe themselves the chance to try to pursue their curiosity.” 

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That Christmas, her husband JD gifted her with a camera, and the rest is her-story. Jasmine pursued her (then TBD) passion and clicked her way to become one of the world’s premier wedding photographers. Four years in, she became one of the most sought-after photographers in Cali and was voted “Top 10 Wedding Photographers in the World” and “Top 10 Most Socially Influential Photographer.”  

Her advice to others also considering a pivot? “Release yourself from people's expectations of your decisions. If you're looking for people to ‘get’ you or applaud your career-switching decisions, you may be searching for a long time.  The vast majority of people are afraid of trying something new, but -- more so -- afraid of failing publicly.  Most people don't want to be vulnerable and run the risk of closing the doors to a dream.”

Star adds, “Your responsibility isn't to handle the naysayers, nor is it to convince others that your decision is right. Your only job is to do what you've been created to do.  You must stand in the rightness of your vision and let your success silence their doubts.” (And, mic drop.)

But everything has its purpose and Star’s law school experience has impacted the businesswoman she is today:

“I firmly believe every experience helps me as an entrepreneur.  For example… Being a waitress taught me how to hustle and smile when dealing with rude customers. Working in retail taught me how to dress for the job you want, not the job you have (and properly fold a T-shirt). Volunteering for a janitorial union in L.A. taught me to treat everyone with utmost respect, even if they're cleaning toilets. Law school taught me to think in non-emotional terms and see every situation in black and white.”

Amazingly, Star evolved from wedding photog to branding & social media strategist, helping other entrepreneurs and creatives build a brand and pursue their vision, with her Path to Profitability business summits and workshops. Her evolution from creative to consultant is proof that some of the best career transitions happen organically.

"Stand in the rightness of your vision and let your success silence their doubts.”

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“It was natural. Totally. I built my brand from scratch and used social media to buttress it.  Shortly thereafter I taught other photographers how to do it for their businesses and soon a variety of business owners asked for my help.  I began consulting with creative entrepreneurs and saw their business explode with growth and entrepreneurial flair.”

Star explains: “The Path to Profitability was a labor of love and resulted with 12 hours of teaching content to entrepreneurs on how to build a brand and use social media to market it effectively. We hosted the workshop and recorded it to share it digitally with entrepreneurs.  When I was creating it, I set aside two hours every day for four months to write and assemble the content.”  

Star’s advice on how to maintain your voice as a brand?

“Write your copy like you're talking to a friend.  There aren't rules for good writing. Actually, there are lots of rules.  But ignore them. In today's digital world, the main goal is to get your point across as quickly as possible, in the strongest fashion… and write it the way you'd send an email to a good friend.  Make jokes.  Add smiley faces.  Talk to, not down to, people.  This makes a world of difference.”

Amazingly, with everything Star has on her plate, she still manages to answer all the emails to her website within 48 hours, all the while engaging with her over 160K Instagram followers.

And interaction and engagement seem to be what makes Jasmine Star the brand tick. Not only are her posts authentic, but she loves sharing nuggets of truth and wisdom for those who scroll her social media feeds. This is likely why her INSTA180 free 7-day challenge resonated with people.

“I love social media.  Like, love it. I've been able to grow my social platforms with concentrated effort and dedication.  Most of my marketing efforts are bolstered by social media, so I love teaching others how to use it.  INSTA180 was created to teach entrepreneurs how to use Instagram for their businesses. I've learned being popular isn't as important as being profitable.  Can I get an amen?!?”

"I've learned being popular isn't as important as being profitable."

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But it’s not all roses, right? So how does Star deal with the thorns and keep viewing the world with rose-colored filters?

“You are enough. You have enough. You need to give yourself grace, in spite of your mistakes. Abundance flows through you. You need to celebrate others' successes as happily as you do your own.” This is Star’s own mantra. 

As for the entrepreneur' mom:

“Here's some good news:  my mother miraculously recovered from brain cancer… and she's the first person I call when I'm ready to make yet another pivot.” Which, happens to be her advice for surviving the daily hustle: “When you're down, get up. Take breaks when you need them. Call your mom. Invest in good coffee.”

Amen number two. 

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Karin Eldor is a coffee-addicted copywriter, with a long-time love for all things pop culture, fashion and tech. Ever since she got her first issues of YM (remember that one?) and Seventeen in the mail, she was hooked on the world of editorial content. After earning her Communications degree, she spent 6 years honing her craft as a Senior Editor for AskMen.com. More recently, Karin enjoyed gramming and strategizing as Social Media Manager at ALDO. Today, she is Chief Content Writer at 818 Agency and a social media consultant.

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