6 Tips to WFH More Efficiently (and Save Yourself Hours)

Photo: Color Joy Stock

In the wake of COVID, we’ve all had to rethink how we operate this year, pivot the way we work, and reconsider how our businesses function. One of the areas we’ve all had to be most adaptable in, of course, is right in our own homes. We work here, we live here, we do almost everything here now. Not to mention, we’ve been challenged with new distractions and can’t rely on our usual coping methods due to the fact that we’re, well, at home.  

While it all feels quite gloomy—and rightfully so—there is good news here: humans are remarkably resilient and adaptable. 

That means there are answers to help us solve at least one of the most pervasive new cultural problems related to being at home: the challenge of overcoming the fatigue that comes with the daily grind. Now that we’ve replaced commutes with endless Zoom calls, Slack messages, and TikTok marathons, you’re likely already familiar with the problem.  

Fortunately, with a little innovation in your relationship to work, you have hope of achieving a healthier balance.

As a co-founder of CAVEDAY, a solution that offers focus as a service, I’ve studied and created new methods to help people improve their relationship to work and master the art of working from home so it feels a lot less like a major exhaustion-driving burden and a lot more energizing. Keep scrolling to find out how it’s done.

Batch & Block

Batch your work as much as you can, especially when it comes to meetings. 

Try to only take meetings during set times, such as only two days a week or only in the afternoons. Meeting culture is not a new problem, and, for many organizations, has only grown more pervasive during the pandemic (hello again, Zoom!). So while it’s not always possible to have ownership over your own calendar, find windows of time to block off for your most important work. 

Once you have your meeting days/times set, during your working days be sure to only check your email once in the morning and once in the afternoon. Start with your most important and the hardest task first. This will make a massive difference in your energy level as you won’t constantly be flipping from meetings to emails to task lists.

Define

Before starting your workday, take a moment to write down exactly what you’re working on. Be as specific as you can. For example, if you have a day of writing ahead of you, putting “write blog post” on your task list isn’t quite clear. 

Ask yourself: What part of the project are you tackling? What does “finished” look like? Is this the brainstorming phase, outlining, or actual writing? How far do you want to get? 750 words? A chapter? Clearly defining your work, in a set amount of time, helps combat overwhelm, and allows you to more simply focus on one task at a time. 

Scope

How long does it take you to finish a certain task such as drafting a proposal or creating a presentation? Over and under-scoping how long individual tasks take is a surefire way to always be “on” and to quickly overtire. 

Knowing how long projects take gives you a better understanding of how to plan your day. To figure out how long things take, start with something you do often. No need to rush, but focus on just that one task and time yourself. 

Then, in the future, you’ll know exactly what kind of time blocks to set to get the job done. 

Take Breaks

Research shows that the brain can’t focus on a task for more than 52 minutes at a time. Mindful and intentional breaks actually help maintain your energy. Just pushing through to the finish line quickly ends in fatigue. 

But, be sure to take breaks wisely. The difference between absent-minded and intentional breaks is that you are making the choice when to stop and how to spend your time. Getting caught in an endless scroll is not a mindful break. Walking away from your desk, stretching your body, or calling a friend is an excellent way to press pause before returning to your work. 

Remove Distractions

Simple in theory, difficult in practice. Removing distractions (like turning off notifications, closing the door, and—dealing with the biggest distraction of all—putting your phone away) is one of the smallest steps we can take in order to avoid fatigue. We are constantly bombarded with interruptions (every 11 minutes on average), so the more agency we have on controlling external distractions, the better equipped we are to stay focused. 

Establish Rituals

One of the biggest and most overlooked changes we’ve faced this year is the loss of transition. Remember that good old commute?

The loss of that time that signifies the beginning and end of our workday, such as driving to the office, riding the crowded subway, or meeting friends after work held a ton of significance in our lives (maybe even more than we once gave credit). 

Whatever that transition was and whether or not you looked forward to it, it was part of your day and routine. We’ve lost that for now, but that transition time is precious and must be preserved. It’s baked-in time to prepare for and reflect on your day. Without it, we forget to take moments to pause and we wind up being “on” for much longer than intended. 

While it may seem trivial, establish a new ritual to start and end your day. A walk around the block, your morning coffee with no work, shut down or close your computer at the same time every day, read a non-work related article before leaving your workstation. Doesn’t matter what it is and it can be small, but this will give your brain and body a cue for when you’re working and when you’re not.

Our culture promotes shallow work and we’ve gotten really good at being “busy”. But busy doesn’t mean productive. Fatigue does not have to be a way of life. Instead, mindfully approaching your work and time allows for more spaciousness in other areas of your life. It’s not easy to put these tips into practice, so CAVEDAY memberships intentionally make it easier for people to practice these tips, as it’s all baked right into the service. Trust us, it’s worth the effort to master this new way of life. You might even be astonished by the quantity and quality of your output. 

“Busy doesn’t mean productive.”

—Molly Sonsteng, Co-Founder of CAVEDAY

About the Author: Molly Sonsteng is a producer, experience designer, and entrepreneur dedicated to time well spent and deepening human connections. She’s created countless projects that encourage people to live creative and meaningful lives. A classically trained singer, her professional history includes working for Carnegie Hall, Manhattan School of Music, and Daybreaker. She ran a summer camp and a political campaign office, developed a music curriculum, taught preschool, and was the Director of Admissions at a music conservatory. In addition to Caveday, Molly is a cofounder of Madcap Factory, an amusingly eccentric production house helping brands engage their communities.

Use the code CULTIVATE to redeem a free three-hour Caveday session at www.caveday.org/schedule.

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How to Give a Great Toast No Matter the Occasion

Photo: Create & Cultivate

Whether you’re celebrating your work wife’s promotion or raising a glass of bubbly at your best friend’s wedding, knowing how to give a great toast is a life skill that’s worth mastering, but, of course, that’s easier said than done. When honoring someone with a toast, you want to be heartfelt, kind, funny, and poignant, which is no small feat (especially when you consider that 73% of people suffer from speech anxiety before giving a presentation or public speech), so we tapped two experts for some tips.

At our recent Future You Festive, Jeni Britton Bauer, the founder and chief brand officer of Jeni’s Splendid Ice Creams, and Brian Fairleigh, the brand education manager at Chandon, spilled the details on how to give a great toast, no matter the occasion. If you missed their must-watch workshop at our digital summit, don’t worry, we have you covered! Scroll on for Bauer and Fairleigh’s tried-and-true tips on how to raise a glass and give a memorable toast that won’t end in dreaded awkward silence or elicit eye rolls.

Psst… If you’re having serious FOMO, join Create & Cultivate Insiders to get unlimited access to all of our Future You Festival content including video recordings of every panel and workshop download in C&C history.

Tip #1: Read the Audience

When preparing to give a toast, the very first thing you need to do is read the audience. “It's important to see who's in front of you,” advises Fairleigh. “Because what you're going to say to an audience of old businessmen versus your friends at your friend's wedding are totally different things.” Consider who will be raising their glasses with you and let that help inform the content of your toast.

Tip #2: Read the Situation

After you’ve considered your audience, you want to be mindful of the situation. "Sometimes you want to make jokes, sometimes you want to roast the person a little bit, sometimes you want to be very sincere and very from the heart," explains Fairleigh. Being mindful of the occasion will ensure your toast resonates with your audience.

Are you at a wedding where a heartfelt toast describing the happy couple’s meet-cute moment would be most appropriate? Are you raising a glass to your work wife’s promotion where that funny anecdote about how she accidentally signed off an email with “have a nice eek” will get a laugh? Be sure to take both your audience and the situation into account to give a cheers-worthy toast people will remember.

Tip #3: Keep It Short and Sweet

Just as important as reading the room, knowing your audience, and being mindful of the moment is knowing when to wrap it up. “I can't tell you how many times I've seen people give a toast where they absolutely crush it in the first couple of lines, but then, when they see that they're doing well, start taking risks and don't cut it off when they're still in their prime,” says Fairleigh. “Remember the three B’s: Be brief, be brilliant, be gone.”

Tip #4: Prepare

While toasting is meant to be improvisational, a little bit of preparation goes a long way, especially if you’re nervous. “There are a lot of templates that you can use if you're freaked out,” recommends Bauer. “Take someone else's speech and rewrite it for yourself because you will change it in such a way, based on your own life and your own experiences, that no one will recognize it.”

If you’re debating whether or not to use notecards as you prepare for giving a toast, Bauer is pro notecards. "It's not a problem to use cards if you have to, as long as you love people, you care about them, you care about what you're doing, and as long as you're speaking from the heart, it doesn’t matter," she notes. The most important thing is that your words are coming from a place of sincerity.

Tip #5: Be Authentic

Fairleigh's number one piece of advice for giving a great toast? Be authentic. "You just have to be authentic,” he says. “When you're giving a toast, people will see through it if you're saying something that you don't believe in." Speaking from the heart is always a good idea when honoring someone with a toast.

Tip #6: Practice

"Always, always practice," advises Fairleigh. "I mean it works for anything, whether your public speaking or whether giving a toast." Practicing your toast ahead of time will ensure that you’re prepared to deliver a memorable toast and help keep nerves at bay (along with a glass of sparkling Chandon wine, that is!).

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Where to Travel Based on Your Zodiac Sign

Photo: Olya Kobruseva from Pexels

Whether you’re an adventurous Aquarius or a venturing Virgo, your destination is written in the stars—just ask the Astro Twins! In search of inspiration for our next PTO-worthy vacation, we tapped the famous astrologists to map out our next trip in partnership with Alaska Airlines. “Your zodiac sign has a lot to say about your temperament, which means that people will respond to destinations in different ways,” explain Ophira and Tali Edut, the identical twin sisters otherwise known as the Astro Twins.

According to the astrological duo, “fire signs (Aries, Leo, and Sagittarius) are active and curious, preferring places where they can move around and explore. Earth signs (Taurus, Virgo, and Capricorn) enjoy serene environments that are both comfortable and natural,” says Astro Twins. “Air signs (Gemini, Libra, and Aquarius) are the communicators, so the social energy of a town will be the barometer of fun. Water signs (Cancer, Scorpio, and Pisces) are emotional and can be ultra-sensitive to their surroundings; a quiet place to recharge in between adventures is essential.”

Keep reading to find out where to travel based on your zodiac sign, but be forewarned, you’re going to start drafting your OOO message before you get to the end.

Editor's note: During COVID-19, travel restrictions are prone to change. Always check before departure and follow local guidance. Alaska Airlines is committed to your health and safety, learn more about Next-Level Care.

Aries: March 21 – April 19

Destination: Palm Springs

Why Aries Should Travel There: Wide-open sky and dry heat offer a relaxing climate for the zodiac’s freedom-loving fire sign. From its modernist architecture to the colorful characters who call Palm Springs home, this town boasts the perfect amount of quirk for originality-loving Aries.

What to Do: Soak up your RDA of socially distanced pool time at the area’s bespoke hotels. Then, pack a picnic (and lots of water) and drive 40 miles to Joshua Tree National Park where stunning boulder formations intersect with spiky trees and other desert flora.

What to Take: Swimsuits and hiking boots.

Top Travel Tip for Aries: Travel with independent companions who won’t mind when you trek off on a solo adventure here and there—you hate to wait!

Taurus: April 20 – May 20

Destination: Yosemite  

Why Taurus Should Travel There: With its granite mountains, breathtaking waterfalls, and towering Sequoia trees, it’s little wonder that Yosemite captivated the heart (and lens!) of Taurus photographer Ansel Adams. This stunning destination will be eye candy for beauty- and nature-loving Bulls.  

What to Do: While shuttle services aren’t operating, roads remain open to vehicles. Park at a trailhead and hike to the Mariposa Grove of Giant Sequoias or to the footbridge of the 317-foot Vernal Falls. Hoofing it isn’t required though! Visit Yosemite’s many vantage points by car for a stunning view of Half Dome, the park’s most famous rock formation.

What to Take: A camera (SLR and/or instant film) for your own landscape photography adventure.

Top Travel Tip for Taurus: Agree on budget before the trip to avoid overspending or having to pick up the tab for friends who don’t share your appetite for luxury.

Gemini: May 21 – June 20

Destination: Nashville

Why Gemini Should Travel There: Incredible music and a thriving local scene: those are two of a Gemini's favorite things, and this Tennessee enclave boasts both! In fact, like the dualistic Twin, Nashville's a little bit country and a little bit rock and roll. Thanks to its uniquely defined neighborhoods and districts, a journey to this city is like multiple trips rolled into one. It's a lively getaway for these mercurial folks who consider variety the spice of life.

What to Do: Snack on cayenne-drenched “hot chicken” while jamming to live music—along the storied Music Row or by spontaneous discovery of Nashville's talented street buskers strumming on the sidewalk. Head to lower Broadway to soak up a bit of honky-tonk, tip back PBRs, and try a fried bologna sandwich. Take a day to visit historic sites like The Grand Ole Opry and the bizarre Pantheon, which is a full-scale replica of the original Greek monolith.

What to Take: A bag (for hot sauce!) and cash for street musicians and tips.

Top Travel Tip for Gemini: Enjoy making friends in every new destination, but try not to abandon your travel crew in the process!

Cancer: June 21 – July 22

Destination: Bozeman 

Why Cancer Should Travel There: Like the zodiac's crab, this low-key Montana city is an unexpected gem with plenty of charming surprises to unpack. Nestled in the Rocky Mountains, a short drive from Yellowstone National Park, Cancers can get their restorative nature fix here. The zodiac's foodies will love the culinary scene here too, which earned the city the nickname "Boz Angeles" for its upscale restaurants.

What to Do: Cancers love to feel cozy and "at home" while on vacation. Put on your finest fleece and take a stroll down the trendy Main Street for coffee and haute baked goods. This Millennial-friendly town has access to incredible outdoor activities that appeal to this sporty water sign. Ski at the world-class Big Sky, soak in the area's hot springs, and if your timing is right, go see Old Faithful erupt at nearby Yellowstone. For a day trip, the Montana Grizzly Encounter— a natural sanctuary built for rescued bears—will tug at sentimental Cancer's heartstrings.

What to Take: Trendy outdoor gear and a backpack.

Top Travel Tip for Cancer: Unless you feel totally comfortable with your travel mates, book your own room. You’ll need private time to reboot along the way.

Leo: July 23 – August 22

Destination: Puerto Vallarta

Why Leo Should Travel There: While a 2021 trip may include more siestas than fiestas, spending time in the sunshine is balm to this fire sign’s soul. The warm weather doesn’t hurt a bit either! With the Sierra Madre range flanking one side of PV and the Pacific on the other, there’s plenty of beauty for this aesthetic sign to enjoy. A dip in the ocean comes with the bonus of gorgeous mountain views… ahhh!

What to Do: Adventurous, romantic Leos can wander the cobblestone streets of this hilly port town. Stop along the way to sample the food, shop for colorful wares (flamboyant Leo’s weakness), and watch the sun turn crimson as it sets in the west. Jalisco, the home state of Puerto Vallarta, is one of the only Mexican areas designated to produce tequila. The bar scene might be limited in PV this year, but festive Leos can schedule a tasting of the area’s spirits.

What to Take: Sunscreen and ibuprofen.

Top Travel Tip for Leo: Don’t expect people to keep up with your “go, go, go!” agenda. You may have to rotate companions for different activities or make new friends along the journey.

Virgo: August 23 – September 22

Destination: Austin

Why Virgo Should Travel There: Let's be clear: sitting around a pool all day is not a Virgo's idea of a fun vacation. These curious, sociable folks need to move around. And they usually show up to a destination with a long list of attractions that they've diligently researched. Finding the best of anything keeps Virgos entertained. Hey, this is the zodiac’s purist and perfectionist we’re talking about! From food trucks to indie boutiques to music venues, exploring Austin will keep this trivia-loving sign engaged.

What to Do: A Virgo’s journalistic curiosity could spin out in Austin! Idea: Organize an itinerary in a streamlined way. Pick a category per day and go exploring, with a camera in tow to record adventures on social media. The city’s famous graffiti and street art is the perfect subject matter for a #MuralMonday. Sample the city’s food trucks and craft brewery tour for #TastingTuesday. Staying fit and active is important to this earth sign. Bike around Austin on a colorful cruiser and get a great upper body workout kayaking down Lady Bird Lake.

What to Take: Selfie equipment like a tripod and remote shutter.

Top Travel Tip for Virgo: Read the reviews and travel blogs, and scout out the area before your trip. Arrive with a list of recommended activities and venues—and try not to be too critical if they don’t live up to your standards.

Libra: September 23 – October 22

Destination: San Francisco

Why Libra Should Travel There: Leisurely Libras can restore their balance in this laid-back Pacific Northwest metropolis. Take in the urban landscape at any of San Francisco’s 220 parks—that’s one every half-mile, and more than any other U.S. city boasts. The top-notch culinary and cocktails scene provide a social fix for outgoing, culture-loving Libras, even while distancing. Take-out or patio dining?

What to Do: Romantic Libras can reprise the art of the promenade, strolling along Fisherman’s Wharf and to Baker Beach for a view of the Golden Gate Bridge. While a bit more planning is required, tickets can be purchased in advance for many of the city’s attractions. With its towering pagoda and 9,000-lb. Lantern of Peace, serene Libras can reclaim their Zen wandering through the Japanese Tea Garden in Golden Gate Park. The Conservatory of Flowers is also in here, providing eye candy for aesthetic Libras with its array of rare tropical blooms.

What to Take: A warm, water-repellent jacket for moments where the fog covers the sun.

Top Travel Tip for Libra: Wake up early to primp so you don’t keep your travel companions waiting—but avoid traveling with people who rush you.

Scorpio: October 23 – November 21

Destination: Anchorage

Why Scorpio Should Travel There: Mysterious Scorpios have been accused of being “icy” at times, but we’re not judging! These ultra-cool waters signs will feel right at home in Anchorage, Alaska where the area’s glaciers sparkle like wonders of the world.

What to Do: Drive two hours to see the Portage Glacier—and if you’re feeling sporty, hit the Trail of Blue Ice, a 7.1-mile path that can be hiked or biked. More two-wheeling adventures await back in Anchorage where snow biking has become a popular way to zip through the sparkling powder and across frozen lakes. Scorpios are night owls and good thing for that! From September to April, the Aurora Borealis (Northern Lights) paint the night sky brilliant hues—a must-see phenomenon for this alchemical sign. 

What to Take: A book to read by the fire.

Top Travel Tip for Scorpio: Bring your creature comforts along for the journey: favorite toiletries, your own pillow, books, and a journal for recording late-night reflections spurred by the trip.

Sagittarius: November 22 – December 21

Destination: New York City 

Why Sagittarius Should Travel There: Have sneakers, will travel! Outdoorsy Archers don’t mind bundling up for an urban odyssey—especially in a place like New York, where there’s potential for discovery around every corner. Although restrictions have been especially tough on this globetrotting sign, the international flavor of NYC can feel like its own kind of passport stamp. 

What to Do: Head to lower Manhattan, then walk across the iconic Brooklyn Bridge to visit the birthplace of legendary Sagittarians Jay-Z and Frank Sinatra. Stop into a pizza shop for some of the best slices you’ve ever tasted. While suspended between NYC and Brooklyn, marvel at the magnificent skyline and the Statue of Liberty. You may suddenly understand why people believed that the streets here were paved with gold.

What to Take: A jumbo-sized bottle of hand sanitizer.

Top Travel Tip for Sagittarius: While you love to discover an area when you arrive, do some preliminary research—at the very least to reserve a rental car and hotel!

Capricorn: December 22 – January 19

Destination: Jackson Hole, Wyoming 

 Why Capricorn Should Travel There: The zodiac’s mountaineering Goat will feel right at home among the peaks and valleys of Jackson Hole, Wyoming. Sporty Capricorns can take advantage of world-class skiing and rock-climbing opportunities. The less daring of this sign will revel in the natural wonders surrounding this town, like Yellowstone National Park.

What to Do: Fill your lungs with fresh air as you hike (or bike!) the alpine trails of Grand Teton National Park. Take a short drive to Yellowstone National Park, home of 500 geysers, including Old Faithful. Stay alert, because you might just spot a moose, bear, or bison along your trek.

What to Take: Binoculars for viewing the native wildlife.

Top Travel Tip for Capricorn: Scout out “the best” of everything before the trip, from restaurants to bars to beaches. Traveling unprepared gives you anxiety.

Aquarius: January 20 – February 18

Destination: Seattle  

Why Aquarius Should Travel There: This Pacific Northwest technology hub is the perfect playground for sporty, innovative Aquarians. With drivable day trips to mountain ranges, snowboarding, skiing, and stunning hikes are easy add-ons to a trip here. Since Aquarius is the sign that rules social change, the city’s historic activism could be a draw for these cosmic revolutionaries. 

What to Do: Seattle is dotted with quaint neighborhoods, each one charming visitors with indie boutiques (hello vintage!), coffee culture, urban parks—and on a clear day, a view of the majestic Mt. Rainier. Ride a ferry to one of the surrounding islands for a day trip. Pick up freshly caught seafood and farm-fresh produce at Pike Place Market, which spans several city blocks in the heart of Seattle’s downtown.

What to Take: A travel mug for sipping the roasts from Seattle’s storied coffeeshops.

Top Travel Tip for Aquarius: Don’t overbook your itinerary. Following spontaneous whims could lead to a much better time than planning every hour!

Pisces: February 19 – March 20

Destination: Maui, Hawaii

Why Pisces Should Travel There: Nothing soothes the zodiac's mermaid (or merman) like a beach vacation. This blossoming Hawaiian paradise delivers all the magic that Pisces live for. No matter their GPS coordinates, this laid-back, ethereal zodiac sign is always on "island time." The unhurried pace of Maui offers plenty of time to dream, meditate, and download divine inspiration for their many creative projects. 

What to Do: Splash in turquoise waters, munch on tropical fruit, nap to music under an umbrella in the pristine sand—white or black lava rock, depending on the beach you choose. Unwind with a mug of cava. Sleep. Repeat. Once thoroughly relaxed, snorkel with "fellow fish" at Honolua Bay or Five Caves—a site for sea turtles, unicornfish, pincushion sea stars, and reef sharks! When you need some shade, cool off under the massive, 16-trunk Lahaina banyan tree which rises 60 feet in the air and spans the length of a city block!

 What to Take: A sketchbook or dream journal—and crystals to charge by the ocean (for the woo Pisces out there!)

Top Travel Tip for Pisces: Book a quiet room so you can sleep and dream with minimal interruptions—rest is key for your vacation rejuvenation.

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Living Limitless–Chante Burkett

What do you love most about yourself––what are you most proud of?

I love my strength and perseverance! Powering through tough times and being able to be the rock for my daughter. I’m really proud of my strength and my vision in life.

Is confidence something that came naturally to you or was it something you had to learn?

I’ve always had confidence, it was one of those things “If I don’t love myself, who else is going to love me”

What does confidence feel like to you? When do you feel the most confident?

For me confidence is all about being comfortable with where you are currently in life. Comfortable being you, comfortable in your skin and comfortable in whatever clothing you choose to wear. I feel the most confident when my life is in balance.

How has your confidence changed with time?

When it comes to confidence I feel like we all have or days when we don’t feel the best and might not be so confident. That's why it’s very important to check in on your mental and don’t be so hard on yourself.

Role models are important for women of all ages–is there anyone in particular whose confidence or advice helped you find your own inner beauty?

My grandmother is my biggest role model who helped see my inner beauty at an early age (7). I would sit and watch her (a plus-size woman) get ready for our family functions. I loved how she carried herself and how all eyes would turn on her she could walk into a room. It was definitely her confidence.

Words are powerful, and they can have a powerful effect on our own personal narratives–what advice can you share on learning how to combat negative self-talk and tap into the power of positivity?

Whenever I feel myself going down the hole of negative self-talk I try to focus on the things I love about myself. We will forever have those days when we just aren’t feeling ourselves but that's what positive self talk is for. I also try to journal my negativity away.

Who do you turn to for support in life? Describe how they bring out the best in you and empower you to live your life without limits?

Believe it or not, my father is the person in the life who I run to for support. He reminds me of who I am and what I can do.

What advice can you share for women on cultivating confidence and self-love?

I think the key to self love is learning to be selfish. Knowing that it is ok to set boundaries and it’s important to take time to yourself.

How do you make time to prioritize self-love and self-care?

Self-love/Self-care is a top priority in my life. I map out time for just me daily and once a month I treat myself. It’s important to not only love on yourself but to also take care of yourself.

Living Limitless–Kristina Zias

What do you love most about yourself––what are you most proud of? 

I love that I truly accept myself, the good, the bad and everything in between. I am most proud of my persistence.  I’ve always believed in myself and am very determined.

What has motherhood taught you––and how has it changed you?

Motherhood has taught me patience, unconditional love and that “balance” is unrealistic.  As a working mom, something always has to give and realizing that I can’t be 100% in career mode and mom mode at the same time has allowed me to be more forgiving and patient.

Is confidence something that came naturally to you in motherhood or was it something you had to learn?

Confidence came very naturally to me.  I somehow knew what I was doing and when I didn’t, I wasn’t afraid to ask for help or admit that I didn’t know what I was doing.  

What does confidence feel like to you? When do you feel the most confident?

Confidence feels like a weight lifted off my shoulders.  Being confident is incredibly freeing.  I feel the most confident when I overcome any challenges.

How has your confidence changed with time?

Confidence is a journey and mine has definitely ebbed and flowed. As a teenager, and even in my early 20s, I was very insecure in my body and am proud that now I look at my body with such respect and appreciation.  

Do you ever have moments where you feel insecure?  What helps you to overcome this?

Of course!  I think a lot of times people view insecurities as the antithesis of confidence but I couldn’t disagree more.  Acknowledging my insecurities and working past them is a form of confidence for me and the first step to overcoming them!  Honestly, I’ve been a bit insecure about my breasts since having my son.  They have just changed so much and I wasn’t really doing anything about it, but, getting virtually fitted by Elomi, and now being in a proper fitting bra is such a game changer!  I noticed a change instantaneously!  

Who do you turn to for support in life? Describe how they bring out the best in you and empower you to live your life without limits?

I turn to my husband, my family and friends!  My husband is a big picture guy.  I am a co-founder of The Confident Collective, a women’s empowerment community, and after a successful launch party (we hosted 80 people), he said we should aim to make our future events like Coachella.  When he said that I laughed but he quickly made me feel like it was totally possible, and you know what, he’s right.

How do we raise confident children? What are some ways we can aim to be a positive role model as a parent?

By practicing what you preach, leading by example and letting them know that with hard work anything is possible. I actually recently heard this parenting tip on tiktok (I know, so deep) but it really stuck with me.  Whenever my son does something new or something I am proud of I say, “you should be so proud of yourself” instead of “I am so proud of you.”  I think this little shift in verbiage makes such a big difference!

Living Limitless–Maxey Greene

What do you love most about yourself––what are you most proud of?

My drive. I’ve always been so passionate about my work and my career. I’ve been working hard for a long time and actually feared being a mom might slow me down, but I’m finding my balance and I’m actually really proud of that! But career wise- I launched a clothing collaboration this year with Hutch & Nuuly. It was a dream of mine for a very long time and it felt amazing seeing it come alive.

What has motherhood taught you––and how has it changed you?

You got to go with the flow. I feel like I used to be pretty rigid before my son. With a kid- you can try all you want to have things go a certain way or a certain schedule, but at the end of the day you kind of just have to roll with it.

Is confidence something that came naturally to you in motherhood or was it something you had to learn?

My instincts kicked in incredibly fast. I actually kind of shocked myself. There are definitely moments where I think “what the hell am I doing?” but anytime I look at him and he smiles his big gummy smile- I know I’m doing something right.

What does confidence feel like to you? When do you feel the most confident?

Confidence feels like freedom. Feeling insecure makes you feel anxious and that you just want to hide away. When you don’t feel that way- you can just feel so free. Free to just be you.

How has your confidence changed with time?

I definitely find myself getting even more confident as I get older. I think it has less to do with appearance and more to do with just being secure with who you are. Looks will keep changing, but when your secure with your core self- you kind of flow with the changes.

Do you ever have moments where you feel insecure? What helps you to overcome this?

Of course. Every one has insecurities- it’s what makes us human. I try not to focus too hard on it. I put my attention on things I don’t feel insecure about.

Who do you turn to for support in life? Describe how they bring out the best in you and empower you to live your life without limits?

My partner, Daniel, is my support. I couldn’t imagine not having him cheering me on everyday. He makes me feel capable of anything. His words motivate me, but just knowing that he’s by my side makes me feel like I can accomplish anything.

Living Limitless–Rochelle Johnson

What do you love most about yourself––what are you most proud of?

I love my heart the most. I’m very empathetic and I automatically think about how my actions and words will affect others. I’m also very independent. It’s one of the attributes I learned from my mother and very grateful for. 

What has motherhood taught you––and how has it changed you?

Motherhood has taught me soooo many things. First and foremost it has taught me to never judge the actions of other mothers. It can be so damaging when that judgement is vocalized. I also have learned how to advocate for my children and trust my instincts.  Which can be hard as a more soft spoken person but I know that If I don’t advocate for them, no one will!

Is confidence something that came naturally to you in motherhood or was it something you had to learn?

Confidence in motherhood definitely has to be learned. I was so scared and unsure with my first baby it took a while to enjoy the moments. It was so hard. This time around I’m so much more confident and know that I have everything I need to handle any situation that comes.

What does confidence feel like to you? When do you feel the most confident?

Confidence is not constantly feeling bad about yourself, more specifically your body and how you take up space. Confidence is walking into a room of people that you don’t know, or that don’t look like you and not shrinking down. It’s knowing you belong and you deserve to take up space. I feel most confident when I have an outfit on that I really love, and that helps give you a boost when you walk into that room.

How has your confidence changed with time?

When I was a teenager I looked different from my friends and no one really wants to be different at that age. I honestly had great friends that never made me feel bad about my size but at the same time was insecure because they were all thin, and I wasn’t.  Now I’m a lot more confident because even though I could be the largest person in the room, and I don’t care. I just don’t think about that.  

Do you ever have moments where you feel insecure?  What helps you to overcome this?

I’m most insecure around people that I’m not familiar with. I normally have to give myself a pep talk before I arrive or once I’m there. I tell myself, you’re supposed to be here. You are worthy. I also try to remind self to be open to new places and new people.

Who do you turn to for support in life? Describe how they bring out the best in you and empower you to live your life without limits?

I turn to my husband who is also my best friend for support. He’s one of the people in the world that really knows me. When I talk to him about anything I know he’s going to give me good advice and if I don’t like his advice I will turn to google, lol.  

Living Limitless–Caralyn Mirand Koch

What do you love most about yourself––what are you most proud of?

I love that I can help transform someone's confidence, that is one of my most favorite skills.
Career wise, I am most proud of the online community I've built filled with supportive, helpful and kind people and the #ProperlyFittingBraClub! It's a movement I started to educate and empower women to get a properly fitting bra. 

What does confidence feel like to you? When do you feel the most confident?

I genuinely used to think that I would wake up one day and just magically be confident. I now know confidence isn’t something that is automatic. You can’t just turn on confidence as confidence is rooted in your belief of yourself at any given time. It is something to be conscious of and work at everyday. Think of being, feeling confident like a muscle memory - the more you use it, the more familiar and stronger it will become.

How has your confidence changed with time?

 If there’s one thing I think we all have in common is that everyone has struggled with feeling confident at one time or another in life. Confidence varies from experience to experience, among genders, and can be fleeting, situational, or rooted. Heck, there are still moments when I struggle with confidence about my body, my career, and life in general... I certainly do not have it all figured out and realizing that allows me to recognize the journey, and hopefully can be helpful to you by sharing. 

Words are powerful, and they can have a powerful effect on our own personal narratives–what advice can you share on learning how to combat negative self-talk and tap into the power of positivity?  

Confidence is rooted in self-love. It is really my job to love me first, before anyone else, and before I can well receive love. True self-love involves showing up for yourself even when you feel unlovable, or shameful. Take steps to listen to yourself, identify what caused you to not be able to clearly identify your needs or boundaries. This helps me to feel good about me.

Something I've learned is to speak to myself kindly and lovingly, like I would to a young child (my sweet niece comes to mind). Would I tell my niece that she is a fat, ugly, worthless person? Typing that gave me shivers. I would never, and I do not think any of you would either. So why should I say that to myself or you say that to yourself? On the days when we are down & feeling low, and we all have them, I am particularly aware of that self-talk and strive to always keep it positive.

Who do you turn to for support in life? Describe how they bring out the best in you and empower you to live your life without limits?

My husband, Brian! He is truly my best friend and teammate through everything. He inspires me to be the best version of myself, challenges me and provides some comedic relief through it all.

What advice can you share for women on cultivating confidence and self-love?

Life is a journey, with confidence being a major influencing factor! We all are traveling on our own path, at our own rate. It is not a sprint but a marathon, and I’m here to cheer you on. Know you are worthy! Feel good about you and be proud of who and where you are. Embrace you, as I do! I know how hard it can be at times so by me sharing my journey you'll know you are never alone!

How do you make time to prioritize self-love and self-care?

I'm a strong believer in setting healthy boundaries for myself, and in my relationships and professional life. Having healthy boundaries allows me to make myself a priority, in self-care, career aspirations, or within relationships. Setting boundaries is about giving yourself agency and empowerment. Honoring our limits helps us to take better care of ourselves which leads to feeling confident.

How to Set Your New Year's Intentions (Because Resolutions Are So 2020)

Photo: Color Joy Stock

2020. What. A. Year. I’m guessing that you, like me, are ready to leave 2020 behind and head into the new year ready for some much-needed change. Traditionally, the start of a new year calls us to make a resolution and spend the beginning part of our year making it happen. It’s a time for improvement and renewal buoyed by hope and inspiration. However, if you’re looking to make a deeper, lasting change and achieve greater success in both your personal and professional lives, I’d encourage you to forgo the resolutions this year and instead set an intention.

What’s the difference? A resolution is a specific goal to achieve your desired result typically brought on by a perception of weakness and a need for improvement in an explicit part of your life. For example, common resolutions include exercising for weight loss, healthy eating to reduce cholesterol, signing up for a class to develop new professional skills.  

An intention, however, is an overarching idea of how you want to live a life that aligns with your values and, in turn, drives your actions and decisions. I liken it to the top of an organizational chart. At the very top is your intention, and beneath it lies the different parts of your life (professional, relationships, etc.). Stemming from each subdivision are the many ways that you can incorporate your intention in order to achieve improvements and success within the scope of that part of your life. In this approach, you provide yourself with an overall roadmap for how to live your life in accordance with this value that trickles out to all the parts of your life.  

If you’re ready to make a profound impact on your life, here are the actionable steps you can take to successfully set an intention and implement it into your life.

Step 1: Reflect on 2020

Take a moment to look back at your year in order to understand what aspects of life are important to you and where you can create and cultivate inspired action to achieve more balance and purpose.  Reflect on both the wins and the challenges. Trying to assess your overall approach to life.  

Step 2: Create Your Vision for 2021

Based upon this reflection, ask yourself, “How do I want to move forward in 2021?” What vision do you have for yourself in this upcoming year within the various parts of your life? It is this vision of yourself that will help you pinpoint the attributes that you need to embody in order to achieve this evolution.

Step 3: Set Your Intention

Once you’ve imagined how you will personally define a successful year, you can begin to brainstorm power words or phrases that sum up your overall vision. Go through your list and pick the top two or three that resonate the most with you. Visualize what it would look like to have each intention guiding you throughout your daily life, and based on this projection, you’ll know which direction to head towards for your intention. 

For example, if I reflected on a year that felt constrained because of a lack of work opportunities and a quarantined social life, an intention that might resonate with me is “to be limitless.” This intention would then translate into seeking out or creating opportunities for myself in my professional life and finding ways to expand my outlook and create abundance in my personal life.

If you would like some extra help with finding an intention, I invite you to try out my guided meditation on intention setting on my podcast, “Responding to Life: Talking Health, Fertility, & Parenthood.” 

Step 4: Infuse Your Intention Into Your Daily Life

Resolutions can be tough to maintain because they are so specific and rigid. The benefit of an intention is that it can be flexible and flow with how your life unfolds. Because your intention is an overarching concept, you can play around with your interpretations of it on a daily or weekly basis.

The key to staying accountable with your new year’s intention, however, is to call it to mind every morning. Whether you are able to sit in a three-minute meditation or just reflect on your intention during your morning routine, by calling to mind your intention, you can set a road map for your day making sure to infuse and manifest this value into your plans each day.

“As you head into this new year of much-needed renewal and hope, I encourage you to cultivate this vision of yourself each day with inspired action to create lasting success in all aspects of your life.”

—Josephine Atluri, Host of the Podcast "Responding to Life"

About the author: Josephine Atluri is an expert in fertility and motherhood mindfulness and meditation and in helping others overcome adversity to find joy. Through her unique journey on her path to becoming a mom of five, Josephine weathered many ups and downs with miscarriages, IVF, international adoption, and surrogacy. Channeling her experience to find calm and courage and to focus on perseverance, she now helps others navigate life’s curveballs through online meditation training, fertility mindfulness workshops, and her podcast, “Responding to Life.” 

Josephine is a regular content contributor for Motherly and Red Tricycle and she is also a preferred mental wellness provider for The Fertility Tribe, The IVF Warrior, Robyn, and the Fertility Circle. Josephine’s expertise has been featured in Woman’s Day, Prevention Magazine, Mind Body Green, Well + Good, The Bump, Peanut, and the L.A. Times. During this time of extreme isolation and anxiety, Josephine shares practical stress management tips including tools to help ground yourself via the free meditation videos on her site www.jatluri.com. For a free monthly video meditation and wellness tips, be sure to sign up to receive her monthly newsletter on her site. For daily inspiration, be sure to follow her on Instagram @josephineratluri.

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How Years of Working as an Assistant Trained Me to Think Like an Executive

“You always have to hope for the best and plan for the worst.”

—Morgan McLachlan, Co-Founder, Chief Product Officer, and Master Distiller, AMASS

After working in the film industry as a camera assistant for nearly a decade, in 2012 I co-founded The Spirit Guild, one of LA’s first craft distilleries that specializes in making a variety of spirits from California’s diverse flora. From there, in 2018 I went on to co-found AMASS, a Los Angeles-based botanics brand that utilizes the power of plants to transform the social and self-care rituals of modern life. 

In my role as chief product officer and master distiller at AMASS, I oversee product development across categories, from spirits to hand sanitizer to candles and work to finetune the flavor and scent profiles using natural botanicals for all of our products. While my experience as an assistant in the entertainment industry may seem like an unlikely match for a career in spirits and self-care products, I’ve found that the two have more in common than they do differently. 

Here’s what I’ve learned from years of working as an assistant, and how I’ve channeled those experiences into becoming a successful executive. 

Always be proactive in anticipating your boss’ needs. 

I think a lot of people get into an assistant position and think their job is just to take orders. While that could certainly be true, the fact of the matter is, planning, managing people, and delegating is a lot of work for executives, so a truly good assistant will see what is coming down the pipe, and step up to help before they are asked. They’re always three steps ahead of their boss. 

When I was 19 and just getting started in my career, I was surprised to find that my bosses liked me being proactive. It seems obvious now, but at the time I was far more passive and nervous to overstep boundaries. By the end of my career as an assistant, however, I was giving insight and instruction to the executives that I was assisting. In short, I was often telling them what to do, not the other way around. Of course, they had to trust me, but decision fatigue is a very real thing. By taking care of the tasks that I thought were appropriate for me to handle and make decisions on, I was taking a lot off their plate. 

In my experience, the most important thing you can do is gain situational awareness, and begin to anticipate your boss’ needs before they are even aware they have those needs. There doesn’t need to be a lot of fanfare or pageantry; simply taking care of them is enough. Fundamentally, by stepping into a proactive mindset, and anticipating both planned undertakings, and elements that could be potential obstacles, I developed my strategic and derivative thinking skills. 

Photo: Courtesy of AMASS

Develop fail-safes. 

I worked in the entertainment industry, which is challenging in that the hours are long and there are a lot of personalities. Things are changing constantly; it’s not like you’re working at a big corporation where you clock in at 9 am and out at 5 pm every day. There is a lot of interdepartmental communication that has to happen constantly, and the stakes are very high.

Since a lot of my assistant work was in the camera department, we’d get the production schedule of the movie or the episode of television and only have four hours to shoot at one particular location. If I didn’t have every single piece of equipment and the right personnel, my little oversight could cost the production tens of thousands of dollars. Developing fail-safe confirmation systems was imperative. 

Take the job seriously. 

Today, I see a lot of people in junior and assistant positions who don’t necessarily value the job, see assistant work as below them, and are focused on getting experience in the industry and networking for their own career advancement. Assistant roles are often seen as stepping stones to bigger and better offers, but by committing to doing an exceptional job as an assistant, I believe that these roles offer the opportunity to develop the mental discipline and strategic thinking that is necessary to navigate larger or entrepreneurial entities in an executive capacity. 

When I really committed to being a great assistant—switching into a proactive mindset, anticipating my boss’ needs on every level, and developing fail-safes—I think that’s when things unlocked for me. 

In my role as AMASS’ chief product officer and master distiller, I always look at everything I do from a 360 perspective. Usually, in my mind, there’s a production schedule detailing what the next steps are. In managing a company and continuous product development and production, there is a lot of operational planning required to bring a product to market. You never want to do things last minute, since there’s an 85% chance that it won’t happen since things never show up on time. For me, I think that’s the most important lesson learned; to always have a long term strategy and attempt to anticipate everything that can go wrong. 

At AMASS, we’ve seen that play out through the pandemic. In March, we were one of the first brands that transitioned from producing spirits to hand sanitizer. Foreseeing this need in the market before other brands were even considering developing sanitizing products was crucial for us as a business. While we’ve encountered hiccups along the way, developing systems to succeed and staying three steps ahead—just as I did as an assistant—has been a large part of our success. You always have to hope for the best and plan for the worst.

Photo: Courtesy of AMASS

About the Author: Morgan McLachlan grew up in the Canadian Pacific Northwest, where she spent many afternoons exploring the forest, forging what would become a lifelong fascination with nature and botany. After a decade-long career in the entertainment industry working as a camera operator on motion pictures, Morgan shifted her creative and technical abilities to a new craft: distilled spirits.

Morgan has now been distilling for over ten years, and is known for her experimental methods and focus on botanical-based spirits and fruit distillates, having distilled everything from cantaloupes into eau-de-vie, to terroir-driven gins. Her passion for plants extends to personal care, where she combines her expertise in botanicals and spirits to formulate hand sanitizer and other natural body care products, from soaps to hand lotions.

This unique culmination of professional experiences coupled with Morgan’s sincere interest in plants led her to build AMASS into a line of modern, botanically-driven products that defy category.

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Why You Need to Take Planning Your Roadmap Seriously (and How to Do It Efficiently)

Photo: Color Joy Stock

A key challenge for small businesses is to come up with a practical roadmap and maintain focus. When you're just starting, it's easy to get excited about business ideas and try a few different things without needing an actual roadmap, but how do you keep moving the needle, enabling fast decisions, stay profitable or grow the company when there's always too much to do without having enough time to do choose what to do?

When I started my tech career, I gained instant access to how technology companies in silicon valley planned their roadmaps. I was fascinated by how much effort went into planning and making every part of the puzzle align with the company's big mission. As I grew my tech career and sought new challenges, I became a product manager at Uber Headquarters in San Francisco during the company's high-growth stage. In that role, I led the product efforts that solved core user problems and owned product roadmaps for features that were used by millions of users across the world.

I didn't know this critical role at a billion-dollar company would be the best learning experience for my journey as an entrepreneur. Since leaving Uber, I have utilized all of that experience to launch my own products and turning them into big successes.

Roadmap planning has now become one of my favorite day-to-day conversations with other entrepreneurs, especially early-stage or early-growth companies. I know how easy it is to make roadmap planning way too complicated and potentially squeeze the fun of having a business or your company's potential for significant results. No one wants that.

Here’s why you need to take planning your roadmap seriously and how to do it efficiently.

Tip #1: Gain Roadmap Clarity

To me, roadmap clarity is about having a well-thought-out vision, strategy, articulation of key metrics, and how you're going to move them. Roadmap clarity also makes it very easy to say "no" to stuff, which is as important as saying "yes" to things. As entrepreneurs, we might feel like we can do anything, but we certainly can't do everything, at least not all at the same time.

Tip #2: Consider Quarterly Roadmap Planning vs. Yearly Planning

I know yearly planning gets a lot of attention, especially during the last quarter of the year or in January, but I highly recommend prioritizing quarterly planning, especially for early-stage companies or small businesses with less than five people. 

A three-month period is not too long, unlike yearly planning, where it's easy to lose focus and for the priorities become irrelevant over time. 3-months is also not too short. The milestones you can achieve in 3-months are meaningful. Quarterly planning also enables failing fast and making pivots easier when things don't go well.

Tip #3: Start With Your Vision

One of your most important jobs as an entrepreneur is to have a hard-to-copy vision that translates into your roadmap. Take a break from all the typical tasks that take up your time and focus on nothing other than your big vision for at least an hour. 

• Where do you ultimately want your company to be? 

• What do you want it to look like? 

• What do you need to accomplish to be drastically closer to where you want to be?

Your vision should both energize you and scare you. It shouldn't be about "how" you're going to get there but more about "why" you want to get there. 

Tip #4: Declare Your Numbers

When you (and your team) feel clear about your vision, move on to declaring your numbers! Whether it's your revenue or gross profit or the number of users or another metric you care about, link your big vision to a big, bold metric as your ideal goal. Then celebrate it with your team. The act of declaring a big bold number itself is something worth celebrating.

Tip #5: Get Serious About Your Strategy and Metrics

After you get clear on your vision and communicate it with everyone on the team, you need to define your strategy, tactics, and metrics for each one of your primary initiatives. 

I suggest creating a "one-pager" that fits in a one-page google doc, one slide, or a piece of paper. The one-pager is the foundation for each of your quarterly goals and should always be linked to specific metrics to measure success. 

If you or people on your team are not clear on the strategy and metrics for any of these initiatives, that would be a leadership fail you'll need to pay attention to and fix before proceeding any further with your roadmap planning.

Tip #6: Reflect on the Past and Decide on Your Non-Negotiables

No planning will be complete without reflecting on what worked/didn't work in the past quarter, six months, or year and setting new intentions.

This reflection needs to be brutally honest to be effective. 

• What did you hate doing inside your business last year?

• What made your business flow intuitively?

• What felt forced and didn't align with your overall vision?

• What are you willing to invest more time in to have a wildly successful year?

• What excuses are you making as a team to avoid trying something new but uncomfortable?

• What metrics do you need to get more serious about?

• What hypotheses do you need to experiment with that you neglected during the last cycle?

So much of what has already happened inside your business (the good, the bad, and the ugly) influences how you'll operate in the future. So get honest, ask questions, and adjust your roadmap accordingly.

Tip #7: Break the Planning into Three Different Phases

Effective planning should start with the "What," then discuss the "How," and end with putting things on the calendar.

I find companies get too obsessed with "how to build something" and "how to market what we built" instead of focusing on the “what should we build?”. The “what” question needs to happen before figuring out the “how”.

The "what" question should feel challenging and uncomfortable. It should make you (and your team if you're not a solo entrepreneur) question the decisions you've made in the past. Your "what" can be driven by your bigger why, your mission, and/or your gut feeling but it should also be measured and validated by market research and quantitative metrics. 

When you become clear on your what, proceed to spend enough time on the "how" and practical milestones with deadlines. Don't call your planning "done" until you've taken care of all these three steps.

How long should an efficient roadmap planning take?

Depending on the size of your company, you may need to spend a few hours to multiple days planning your roadmap. The length also depends on how many business or product goals you're setting and whether you plan your quarter or a more extended time. Keep your planning as short and practical as you can but make sure you walk away knowing exactly what your priorities are for the next couple of months. And remember, if you have too many priorities, you can't call all of them priorities. 

If you have a large team, you might find yourself struggling with who to involve and not involve in your roadmap planning. But too many people in the room can prevent you from having fast-paced discussions. Avoid including every single person in every single meeting just for the sake of team transparency. There are better ways to practice transparency than involving everyone in everything. Be selective about planning meetings and try to break the planning into multiple conversations with fewer people involved.

What about solo entrepreneurs?

Planning as a solopreneur can feel lonely, but it doesn't have to. I've been personally there, and I relate to the resistance you might feel about dedicating time to proper planning when you’re doing it alone. It might feel like a waste of time to go through detailed planning without a team, but it's really the opposite. When you're just starting, you literally can't afford to waste time and energy on stuff that doesn't move the needle, and having a crystal clear roadmap will help you prevent that.

To make your roadmap planning feel less lonely, plan with someone who knows your business well, or someone who knows you well. Whether it's your virtual assistant ( if you have one), a trusted colleague or even your significant other or best friend, present your roadmap to them and ask for feedback. 

Keep in mind that if you plan with someone who's not experienced enough, you might have to be a little skeptical about their suggestions. This, however, doesn't make their feedback invalid. They might actually surprise you with their unique ideas or the amount of excitement you can get out of simply presenting your ideas to someone who cares about your company's success or you as an entrepreneur.  

What does success looks like?

A good roadmap planning should feel like a drama movie with a happy ending. There should be ups and downs, disagreements, confronting conversations, and debates with eventual resolution. 

Your job is to stay focused on your critical goals through all of it. 

As a leader, you need a mix of innovative ideas (example: an idea for doubling your revenue with only 20% increase of resources), optimism (for what you and your team are capable of achieving with the right mindset and focus), and healthy skepticism (to question every single priority).

Encourage everyone involved to prepare for the planning and stay highly engaged. You don't need to go over every single detail; focus on the things that matter.  

Find your perfect balance, and don't be scared of taking some risk to enjoy a higher reward potential. One way to do so is to dedicate 10% of your team's time (or your own time as a solopreneur) to a "big bold bet" every quarter.
On the flip side, ineffective roadmap planning doesn't give clarity on the "what" and "how", doesn't focus enough on metrics and data, and involves too many people with not enough contribution. 

Don't spend your time creating fancy slides or showing off your organization skills. Be organized enough to function but not too organized to make your planning about how nice everything looks.

Your job as a leader is to constantly think about "what will customers think" rather than "what my family/peers/mentors/competitors think". Whether you run a 7-figures consulting company, sell digital courses, own a local bakery, or are a venture-backed tech startup, obsess over the needs of who's using what you're creating and who's paying for what you're creating over everything else. Sometimes these two are the same, and sometimes they're not -- but what you need to keep reminding yourself of is that the opinion of those who's not a part of your businesses should be the least of your focus. 

Encourage everyone who's a part of your planning to participate aggressively during pre-planning, the actual planning, and post-planning conversations. There shouldn't be any room for passive attending because that's a lose-lose situation for everyone.

“It shouldn't be about ‘how’ you're going to get there but more about ‘why’ you want to get there.”

—Aria Massoudifar, Entrepreneur

 About the Autor: Aria Massoudifar is a serial entrepreneur and product manager in tech mostly known for her role as a former product manager at Uber. Aria’s portfolio of her businesses and projects are: Her work as an online educator, course creator, and mentor is followed by thousands of people globally. She uses her platform to empower her 100k+ community all around the world. She is the founder of a newly launched health and wellness app Vito to help busy millennials take charge of their health. She is the owner of a popular mid-century vacation rental and photoshoot house in the heart of Joshua Tree. Aria is a multi-hyphenate and passionate entrepreneur who refuses to limit her pursuits and inspires others to celebrate and pursue all of their passions too! Connect with Aria on Instagram @ariamsfar.

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10 Empowering Books By Women to Enhance Your Career (and Life)

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Achieving your career goals, trying to be a successful adult, and keeping your personal life in check can sometimes feel impossible. (If you’re juggling a million tasks and still trying to find time to watch The Bachelor with the girls, trust us, we know the struggle). But no matter how often you may feel overwhelmed, it’s important to know that you can find the balance you’re looking for—it may just take a new way of thinking and organizing your everyday life. 

Luckily, there are resources and mentors with proven methods and insights that will help you find the balance between living your best life and getting to work on time. No one ever said achieving work-life balance would be easy, but with these 10 insightful new books, you will be well on your way to reaching both your professional and personal goals in no time. Written by 10 fierce females who know a thing or two about running their own businesses and carving out time for themselves, you’ll find true wisdom and hope in the pages of these self-help and business-focused books. 

From the creator of one of the biggest natural hygiene companies to Netflix sensation Marie Kondo to a single mother from the Middle East who rose to the top of the tech industry, these books will leave you with anecdotes that will help you find the work-life balance you’ve been craving. If you want to find the perfect work-life balance, add these insightful books to your to-read pile ASAP.

Supermaker: Crafting Business On Your Own Terms

by Jaime Schmidt

Once upon a time, Jaime Schmidt was pregnant and making natural deodorant products in her kitchen in Portland, Oregon. In just seven years, Schmidt had made a name for herself and sold the company to Unilever for nine figures. In her inspiring and insightful book, Supermaker, Schmidt reveals how aspiring entrepreneurs can start their own businesses on their own terms. With tips on marketing, product development and other useful tools, this book gives readers the inside look at what it takes to be successful as a founder and as a woman.

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The Upside of Being Down: How Mental Health Struggles Led to My Greatest Successes In Work and Life

by Jen Gotch

Jen Gotch is the CCO and creator of multimillion-dollar brand, Ban.do, but what many people don’t know is that Gotch didn’t always have the easiest time finding success. Struggling with her mental health from a young age, she was determined to understand how her diagnosis could help boost her creative process. In The Upside of Being Down, Gotch shares candid stories about her failures and successes and how to embrace the parts of life you can’t control.

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Slay Like a Mother: How to Destroy What’s Holding You Back So You Can Live the Life You Want b

y Katherine Wintsch

Katherine Wintsch is no stranger to the difficulties of wearing multiple hats in both her professional and personal life. In her debut self-help book, Wintsch uncovers what it takes to be a mother, wife, friend, and successful CEO. Slay Like a Mother teaches readers how to get past the “just fine” mask women often wear, set realistic goals that you can actually achieve and realize the difference between struggling and suffering. If you’re a fan of Rachel Hollis, you’ll love this new release.

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It’s About Damn Time: How to Turn Being Underestimated into Your Greatest Advantage

by Arlan Hamilton and Rachel L. Nelson

Despite being homeless and underestimated, Arlan Hamilton always dreamed of success. Without any contacts, a college degree or a background in finance, Hamilton used her determination and strength to become a highly-respected investor in Silicon Valley, investing in businesses founded by underrepresented women like herself. In It’s About Damn Time, Hamilton teaches women the importance of believing in yourself, how to create a life you love and the skills you need to make it big when it feels like no one else has faith in your dreams.

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Four Faces of Femininity: Heroic Women Throughout History

by Barbara McNally

If you’re in need of a little inspiration from the women who have come before, you’ll love Four Faces of Femininity. Divided into four sections, McNally’s new book celebrates all kinds of successful women and shows readers how important it is to spotlight women from different backgrounds. From Anne Frank to Michelle Obama, this book aims to help women become well-rounded and happy in all areas of their lives. Four Faces of Femininity also includes exercises that will help readers unlock their power and invest in their goals.

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Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies: And Other Rituals to Fix Your Life, From Someone Who’s Been There

by Tara Schuster

As a twenty-something-year-old, Tara Schuster found herself at the top of her career as the vice president at Comedy Central. But what nobody knew was that Tara was struggling to keep the rest of her life together. Finally, one drunken night, Tara called her therapist, desperate for help, making her realize that she needed to make immediate changes to her life. Buy Yourself the F*cking Lilies follows Tara’s journey to transforming her entire being and re-evaluating her priorities. This new self-help book strives to help others create a successful life they truly love.

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Success from the Inside Out: Power to Rise from the Past to a Fulfilling Future

by Nona Jones

Finding success in her career at only 23, Nona Jones was convinced that she had everything all figured out. But soon, trauma from her past came back to haunt her and it wasn’t long before she realized that she was using her work to cover up her pain and suffering. Using anecdotes from her own journey, Jones aims to help other career women take back their lives by embracing their fears, banishing their tragic pasts and finding their own fulfilling success in Success from the Inside Out.

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You Can Have It All, Just Not at the Same Damn Time

by Romi Neustadt

Romi Neustadt is a big believer in being able to do it all. The author, speaker, entrepreneur and life coach has had plenty of experience over the years tending to her career and her family, and in You Can Have It All, Just Not at the Same Damn Time, she teaches readers how they can achieve the same success. With lessons on focusing on the things that matter, recognizing your worth, and creating healthy habits, this book will have you nailing work-life balance like a pro.

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Joy at Work: Organizing Your Professional Life

by Marie Kondo and Scott Sonenshein

Marie Kondo is the queen of cutting out the clutter and making room for further success and happiness and in her new book, Joy at Work, she applies her innovative tips and tricks to the workplace. Work can be draining but there are simple ways to make the days better and focus your energy on the things that matter. Teaming up with Rice University business professor Scott Sonenshein, Kondo teaches readers how to declutter their work space, be better organized and make every second count so you can feel more accomplished and happy by the time you head home.

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Girl Decoded: A Scientist’s Quest to Reclaim Our Humanity by Bringing Emotional Intelligence to Technology

by Rana el Kaliouby

Growing up in a traditional family in the Middle East, Rana el Kaliouby never expected to find the success she now has. Moving away from her home country, she earned her PhD and moved to America as a single mother of two girls. Aiming to humanize technology, her intelligence, and ability to juggle her responsibilities made her a leading figure in an industry mostly made up of white males. In Girl Decoded, Rana tells her inspiring story and encourages women to go after their wildest dreams and forget about the labels and expectations forced upon them by others.

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Written by Ashley Johnson, content editor, She Reads.

About the Author:

Ashley Johnson is the content editor at She Reads, an online media outlet that specializes in promoting books and authors with a female-centric approach. In addition to editorial roundups, exclusive author content and thought pieces, She Reads is committed to building a community of readers who love nothing more than getting lost in a good book.

Up next: Gwyneth Paltrow, Marie Kondo, Tyra Banks, and More on the #1 Book They Always Recommend

This story was originally published on March 13, 2019, and has since been updated.

Daphne Oz Shares Her #1 Tip for Cultivating Confidence

“Set yourself up for success. Don't be afraid to prepare, and talk nicely to yourself.”

-Daphne Oz, Emmy Award-Winning TV Host, Bestselling Author, Chef, and Aveeno Hair Celebrity Brand Ambassador

Daphne Oz has been dishing out healthy living tips since she was a student at Princeton and writing her first book, “The Dorm Room Diet,” which brought wholesome eating to college campuses everywhere.

Fast-forward to 2020 and she’s penned three bestselling cookbooks, won an Emmy, hosted hit television shows by the likes of “The Chew” and "Dish on Oz", and served as a “MasterChef Junior” judge.

But that’s just her day job. 

As a mother of four, she’s proven that you can have a very successful career and be a present mother, but as she’d say, “the difference between doing it all and having it all is a perspective shift.”

At our Future You Festival, Jaclyn Johnson virtually down with Oz to talk about what it took to build her impressive career, how she’s avoiding burnout as a working mom, and why she’s wielding her influence for good.

On cultivating confidence…

“Confidence stems from ease. It’s when you feel easy in your skin.”

"I feel the most confident when I feel like I'm sharing valuable information that's going to make a positive impact on someone's life."

On putting in the work to build confidence…

“You think ease is easy, it's not. Ease takes work. It takes practice. It takes effort and it’s being prepared.”

“Confidence isn't a destination. Every day you have to pay the dues and catch yourself if you're engaging in negative self-talk."

On avoiding negative self-talk…

"The world sees you and talks to you the way you see and talk to yourself. You have to live it first."

On navigating negativity on social media…

"You should never take with more than a grain of salt anyone's opinion or perspective who's opinion or perspective you wouldn't value in real life."

"You're not going to make everyone happy, and if you do make everyone happy, it's at the expense of you living your whole life fully."

On being a working mom during COVID…

“I would never lie and say that I’ve figured it out because the reality is it's recalibration all the time. There are days where I'm an A-grade mother and a B-grade employee and C-grade wife.”

On making time for self-care…

“It's all too easy for us to work ourselves into depletion and I think it can be something as simple as 10 minutes of listening to a podcast or doing a face mask or a 10-minute workout routine."

On continuing to grow…

“I never feel like I've stopped growing like there isn't a chance I could pivot and try something totally new.”

On finding your passion and being on the field…

"My dad used to say to me, You can't catch the ball if you're not standing on the field."

“If you don't have the skillset, if you haven't been keeping yourself prepared, if you haven't been keeping your eyes open and your eyes on the ball, you're never going to catch it when it's flying through the air.”

On pursuing multiple interests…

"You're allowed to be a multi-hyphenate, you're allowed to change your idea of who you are, and you're making a commitment to be as great as possible for now.”

On making tasks more manageable…

“You can only do what you can do. I think it's a matter of making it bite-sized and making it something that you feel you can tackle."

On her #1 tip for cultivating confidence…

“Set yourself up for success. Don't be afraid to prepare, and talk nicely to yourself.”

Psst… If you’re having serious FOMO, join Create & Cultivate Insiders to get unlimited access to all of our Future You Festival content including video recordings of every panel and workshop download in C&C history.

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How the Create & Cultivate Team Is Putting Financial Resolutions First in the New Year

Photo by Karolina Grabowska from Pexels

This year didn’t turn out the way many of us had planned. It feels like our 2020 resolutions have been put on hold, while we wrestle with how to reconcile our personal, professional, and financial goals for the new year. The good news is: 2021 is the fresh start we’ve been looking for.

The promise of new beginnings not only lends a much-needed dose of optimism relative to the rhetoric of this past year, but it also helps propel us back into a goal-setting state of mind. A recent survey reveals an estimated 188.9 million adult Americans (74.02% of the population) are determined to learn something new, make a lifestyle change or set a personal goal in an effort to better themselves in 2021, a 15.17% increase from 2019. Furthermore, 33.69% of Americans plan to set a money-related goal. That being said, now is the perfect time to begin planning your financial resolutions for the year ahead, and we’ve partnered with Betterment to help you spend, save, and invest your money better.

2020 has challenged many of us to rethink our values and global impact, particularly when it comes to spending. The way we live, the career we choose, and the people we care about align with our personal values; shouldn’t our investments do the same?

The practice of aligning your investments with the values and social ideals that shape your worldview is known as impact investing, or socially responsible investing (SRI). Betterment defines SRI as “an approach to investing that reduces exposure to companies that are deemed to have a negative social impact—e.g., companies that profit from poor labor standards or environmental devastation—while increasing exposure to companies that are deemed to have a positive social impact—e.g., companies that foster inclusive workplaces or commit to environmentally sustainable practices.” With Betterment's Social Impact Portfolio, you can invest globally in companies that align with what you care about most, without sacrificing portfolio performance.

How we spend and invest our money has the potential to change the world. And while the road to radical change much resembles the stock market – unpredictable, long, and not always forward – the future of our world begins with how you choose to invest for better, starting today.

Read on to hear how three members of the Create & Cultivate team are putting financial resolutions first in the New Year.

I hope to adapt an approach to investing that supports our community and our planet, utilizing one of Betterment’s SRI portfolios that focuses within the realm of Environmental, Social, and Governance (ESG) investing. Betterment's Social Impact Portfolio invests in ETFs that support minority empowerment and gender diversity, and is committed to offering investment funds that do better for our communities and the planet.

In order to pay off some outstanding debt, I plan to limit the amount of "stuff" I accumulate and bring into my home and be more conscious of my spending habits – which includes putting a limit on the amount of nights I order takeout.

My husband and I have a goal of owning our own home in 2022 and are working to pay off our debt in 2021 as well as save up for the down payment. We’ll be sticking to a stricter budget and doing things like making more meals at home versus ordering take out. We also plan to start a new savings account set up for this, specifically, with a monthly goal number to hit for savings.

The above article is sponsored by Betterment. Any links provided to other websites are offered as a matter of convenience and are not intended to imply that Betterment or its authors endorse, sponsor, promote, and/or are affiliated with the owners of or participants in those sites, or endorses any information contained on those sites, unless expressly stated otherwise.

How This Relationship Expert Went from $100K in Debt to Building a 7-Figure Empire

“Success isn’t about proving your worth, it’s about owning it.”

—Lucy Shahjahan, Founder of Soul to Soul Global and Author of “Don’t Sh*t In My Vortex”

When I was 31 years old, I barely recognized myself. From the outside, it looked like I had everything. The job, the apartment, the luxurious vacations, but—while I was counting down the days until my next blissful week on a tropical island—I felt like I was dying on the inside. I was stuck in a vicious cycle of dating toxic men, drinking too much, and relying on a week of vacation to revive my battered soul, when, in reality, once the shine wore off my vacation tan, I was lost. 

Over the course of my entire life, I’d always been told that the secret to getting what I wanted—success, the perfect career, my soulmate—was toning my “too big” personality down. I felt like I needed to restrain myself to fit in a perfect little box, and I was miserable, exhausted, and attracting all of the wrong men in the process. No longer certain of who I was, I saw a picture of myself from a friend’s birthday party and knew right away that something needed to change. I couldn’t survive another ten years of forcing myself to be something I’m definitely not, so I went for it.

I packed my bags and left Sydney, Australia—putting 10,000 miles between myself and the life I no longer wanted—and threw myself into creating something new. I started with coaching events in New York City, charging $20 to $30 per person, and hustling hard to make things work. On top of working to pay the bills, I spent an average of 30 hours per week focusing on building my business—which was making less than $10,000 per year—but no matter how hard I tried, no matter how much I pushed myself to hustle, it wasn’t working.

I bought into the lie that I had to grind my way to the top, teetering on burnout in the process, until I found myself $100,000 in debt even as I tried to do things the so-called “right” way. I wasn’t happy, and it wasn’t working.

It wasn’t until I realized that I could choose joy—enjoying the process and even prioritizing rest—and be just as successful, if not more so than I was when I was forcing myself to inhabit the diehard “girl boss” energy. I didn’t need to work that hard, and I didn’t need to please everyone. In fact, it was better when I narrowed my focus—concentrating on my strengths and my true talents in helping single, professional women attract the soulmate relationship they deserved—and trusted in my own self-worth.

I started experimenting with different pricing models and business structures, eschewing the traditional coaching strategy and worked with a business coach to design a group coaching structure that suited my energy and my goals. My business exploded, and within three months I was making six-figures. Eighteen months later, I broke my first million.

While my journey to success has been anything but linear, it has taught me a few valuable lessons—things I couldn’t have picked up anywhere else—that have helped me not only transform my own business but also the lives of the women I work with.

1. You don’t have to prove your worth. 

Like so many other women entrepreneurs, I knew I was capable of big things, but I thought I had to push myself—and show my worth—in order to get there. I was trapped in a cycle of fighting and grinding for more that was really just a mask for my fear. 

I was afraid I wasn’t enough. I needed another certification, another course, another degree, anything to get me to the point where I could prove that I was worth taking up space. When, in reality, my worth is inherent.

Because success isn’t about proving your worth, it’s about owning it. Own what you want, who you are, and what you’re capable of—and release the imposter syndrome holding you back—so you can step into the unapologetic version of yourself who is capable of so much more.

2. You can’t skip mindset.

I’ve seen so many people with higher degrees, allow mindset to become an afterthought. And I was one of them. I thought if I worked hard enough, if I had a strategy, if I just pushed myself then I would achieve all of my goals in record time.

Unfortunately, your strategy doesn’t matter if you don’t believe that you deserve to do well. For me, unlocking my mindset and doing the inner work was the key to my business’ success. It gave me the courage to step into my power and raise my prices, and it allowed me to stop playing small. Without that shift? I never would’ve made it this far.

3. You need to put yourself first.

As a relationship coach, I use an unconventional method to help my clients attract the soulmate relationship they desire: by learning how to make yourself your number one priority and becoming your own soulmate first. For years, I thought I needed to focus on my ideal partner or relationship. I was waiting for Mr. Right to show up and complete me when, in reality, by learning to embrace myself unapologetically, I complete myself.

You aren’t broken or lost. You have everything you need within you right now. It’s about committing to your mindset work and big visions every day, then becoming that version of you a little bit more every day, and celebrating your growth along the way. Because when you celebrate the little things, they become the big things. 

Once you learn how to embody what you deserve, then I truly believe you can have it all: happiness, success, a beautiful soulmate relationship, whatever you want. Don’t be afraid to connect with who you are and what you want. As you build your own confidence, visualizing, and feeling the person you want to be, you’ll find yourself stepping into that reality. It’s about learning to ask yourself, “Who do I need to be right now to attract the life I want? What habits need to be created and kept?” It’s all about rigor, discipline, clarity, and that underbelly of passion fueling the way. It’s about embodying your magnificent essence fully and owning who you are.

Because you already deserve it but it’s not about saying you’re worthy, it’s about feeling that worthiness deep in your soul. It’s about giving yourself permission right now to own your full power unapologetically, embodying your sublime feminine energy, and accepting yourself on every level. 

About the Author: Lucy Shahjahan is the founder of Soul to Soul Global and author of “Don’t Sh*t In My Vortex,” coming out on January 28, 2021. An expert on love and relationships, her passion is helping high-achieving single women embody their feminine power, connect with their true selves, and attract their soulmate relationship in the process—all in a matter of months. You can follow her on Instagram at @lucyshahjahan.

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Classifieds: Califia Farms, Harry Winston, & Vox Are Hiring!

Photo: Colorjoy Stock Photography

Job hunting? Peep these new gigs at Salesforce, Califia Farms, Vox, and more!

FEATURED JOBS

Digital Brand Marketing Director, Aviva Romm- Remote

Copywriter, 2U- Denver, CO, Lanham, MD, Los Angeles, CA, Boca Raton, FL, Brooklyn, NY, or Tempe, AZ

Sr. Creative Producer , 2U- Lanham, MD

Sr. Copywriter (Website Strategy Lead), 2U- Denver, CO, Lanham, MD, Los Angeles, CA, Boca Raton, FL, Brooklyn, NY, or Tempe, AZ

Project Manager, Marketing, Vital Proteins- Chicago, IL or Los Angeles, CA

Brand Partnerships Manager, Socialyte- Los Angeles, CA or New York, NY

LOS ANGELES  

Social Media Manager, Frame

Sr. Brand Manager, Califia Farms

Account Manager, TikTok

Social Media & Community Manager, UOMA Beauty

Email Marketing Manager, Olive & June

Sr. Influencer Manager, Be Social

NEW YORK CITY

Manager, Digital Marketing, Harry Winston

Social & Content Marketing Manager, Salesforce

Digital Marketing Manager, The Halal Guys

Sr. Associate, PR, Madewell

Communications Manager, theSkimm

Community Manager, Hunter

REMOTE

Social Content Producer , Vox Media

HR Coordinator, Shogun

Content Marketing Manager, Beyond Pricing

Digital Marketing Manager , South By Sea

Social Media & Community Lead, Womaness

Associate Director, International Social Media & Influencer, Vital Proteins

I'd Never Met With a Self-Defense Expert Before—Here's What I Learned

Photo: @svklimkin from Unsplash

Feeling uneasy about someone trailing behind you on your walk home alone? Picking up weird vibes from a stranger on the subway? Many of us, unfortunately, can relate.

Global estimates published by the World Health Organization or WHO indicate that about 1 in 3 (35%) of women worldwide have experienced some sort of physical and/or sexual violence in their lifetime.

The statistics can be frightening sometimes, but they all point to one fact: most women are not properly armed to defend themselves. That’s why we tapped Sara Morrell, Self-Defense Senior Trainer and Account Specialist at TASER Self-Defense, a division of AXON, to share some safety and self-defense tips to empower women with the information they need to defend themselves in a safe and effective manner.

According to Sara, “self-defense training can assist in increasing your options and help you prepare ways to de-escalate, or interrupt a possible attack. Like any tool, competence increases confidence, the more information you have, the more likely you will be able to create a plan and execute that plan.”

Read on for more safety and self-defense tips from Sara, so you to arm yourself with confidence – the ultimate self-defense tool.

“Like any tool, competence increases confidence, the more information you have, the more likely you will be able to create a plan and execute that plan.” ”

— Sara Morrell, Self-Defense Senior Trainer and Account Specialist at TASER Self-Defense, a division of AXON

What are some of the most common misconceptions women have about self-defense?

Many women find self-defense intimidating or believe that you have to be fully trained John Wick style for it to make any difference in your day to day. Little steps taken toward protecting yourself and those you love all count! Good self defense courses help to prepare a person with overall awareness and verbal skills, not only hand to hand training. Feeling safe and building trust comes before learning.

What are your top three safety and self-defense tips for women?

1. Practice awareness. This is the easiest thing to put into practice. When you are out and about, keep your eyes up. Pay attention to your senses. As hard as it can be, try to make sure your phone is put away and you are aware of what is happening around you. If you have to return a call or text, try to keep your eyes up and be aware while doing so. Are you getting a “gut feeling?” Listen to your intuition!

2. Have a plan in place and practice that plan. If you are going to decide to carry a tool of some kind, train with that tool and have a plan for how you are going to carry it. Are you going to carry it in your purse? Will it be easily accessible? Practice how you will be able to remove it from the “holster” etc. so you can build some muscle memory and be able to do it under stress.

3. Practice verbal commands. Be loud! Practice commands that get the attention of others nearby to let them know you need help. For example : “Don’t hurt me!” “Back Up! Work on how you would paint a verbal picture for people nearby by explaining what is happening. I know this can feel silly or embarrassing, but it is really helpful to practice. Get together with a good friend, find a place you can get a little loud and go for it!

How can we empower women with the information they need to defend themselves in a safe and effective manner?

Self-defense training can assist in increasing your options and help you prepare ways to de-escalate, or interrupt a possible attack. Like any tool, competence increases confidence, the more information you have, the more likely you will be able to create a plan and execute that plan.

What are some tools and resources you can recommend to women who want to learn more and take self-defense into their own hands?

I am a big believer in less lethal options. I personally carry a TASER Pulse+. It can be effective from up to 15ft away by causing Neuro Muscular incapacitation (muscle lock up) on an attacker for 30 seconds, giving you a window to escape to safety. It also has the ability to contact first responders when the device is deployed. You can find out more about TASER products on their website.

I think Krav Maga is a great resource to help everyone feel more empowered when it comes to self defense. It is easy to get started and many beginner classes are available. The instructors are great in helping to teach you simple self defense skills you can implement that can be very effective. They teach you how to try and stop the attack and get to safety. I would recommend checking out Krav Maga to find a studio in your area.

There are also many self defense courses available from local law enforcement agencies or community colleges. I would recommend checking out your local law enforcement agency website to see if any events are available.

We have many TASER Civilian Instructors available as well that train not only on TASER energy weapons, but also basic self defense tactics. You can find one in your area here.

What advice can you share on summoning the confidence to be proactive about self-defense?

Don’t let the fear of the unknown stop you from moving forward. There are so many people out there that want to help you feel empowered and confident in your ability to do whatever you need to do to help keep you safe. With each small step forward you take, your confidence will continue to build.

What do we need to change about how we teach self-defense to women? Why? How are you helping push your industry forward?

Self Defense does not need to be a physical training situation. I think it would be helpful to have more female instructors. It is my opinion that all-woman classes tend to provide an easier atmosphere in which to discuss sensitive issues and help alleviate some of the anxiety some women can have in regards to feeling intimidated or uncomfortable in a training course. My goal is to provide encouragement to women to take the first steps to empowering themselves, however they feel comfortable doing so. The more we talk about it and raise awareness around how important it is to have a plan in place and be prepared, the better.

Why I Deleted "Sorry" From My Vocabulary

“Your message becomes direct, clear, and representative of your self-worth.”

-Kate Davis, Founder of Knockout

As business owners, we all want to project confidence through our interactions with vendors, contractors, clients, customers, and other business owners. I started my company at 25 years old with no business experience. In these past five years, I’ve worked with manufacturers, lawyers, consultants, and event organizers. Many of these people didn’t take me seriously because of my age, gender, or lack of industry knowledge. I couldn’t change who I was (nor did I want to), but I could adjust my language to present a stronger, more confident version of myself.  

It’s become increasingly clear to me that language is powerful, and we have the ability to convey self-confidence through our word choices. In our digital world (even more so during a pandemic), our written communications are important opportunities to use purposeful language. Getting rid of the self-defeating “sorry” and “just” make a major difference in the way we are perceived. 

Did you say or write “sorry” today when you didn’t do anything wrong? Look through some emails and texts, and you might be surprised how regularly “sorry”  slips in. Once I started looking for it, I realized that I’d been saying “sorry”  instinctively throughout my whole life. When I posted about this recently on  Instagram, I couldn’t believe how many women said they also say it unnecessarily and often. Why do we do this? 

Many women I talk with compulsively apologize when asking for something or making a reasonable request. To be clear, there are definitely moments when an apology is necessary, and we should say sorry when we make a mistake or hurt someone. We know how to identify when we should say “sorry”, so let’s talk about when we don’t need to say it—and more importantly—what we can say instead. 

“Sorry to bother you, but could you send me that project proposal we talked  about when you get a chance?”  

This “sorry” is not necessary. It might feel aggressive to say “Could you send me that project proposal?”, but that’s what you need, right? If you want to soften it  a bit, you can always add “please.” The point is, it’s not your fault that this person is late, and you have no reason to say sorry. Apologizing diminishes our message and perceived confidence. 

A great substitute for “sorry” is “thank you”, which completely changes the tone of your exchange. The person you’re talking with will feel appreciated and will recognize the positive framing of the situation. 

Let’s go through some examples of how to not say “sorry.”

If you’re asking a busy person for a meeting or if you’re looking for advice, rather than saying “sorry I’m bothering you”, try “thank you for taking the time to meet/talk with me”. 

Your project got delayed because of an urgent assignment that came in, and you’re writing “Sorry this is taking so long” to your boss. They may need some explanation, but you can shift the language to “Thanks for your patience on this. The [time-sensitive assignment] set me back slightly. I’ll have this to you on  Monday.”  

A friend or co-worker listened to you vent during your lunch hour, and you want to text her, “Sorry I was talking so much today!” Try writing “Thank you for listening to me today! I appreciate your advice and patience.” This shows her that you value her time. 

Now, while we’re at it, let’s talk about “just.” 

I’m constantly on the lookout for the word “just.” I didn’t realize how much I used it until a loved one told me I use it all the time. We want to feel confident and be perceived as strong, right? This word does us no favors.  

Listen closely for “just” because it is the death of a powerful statement. “Just”  comes up in my emails constantly, and I try to delete it whenever it pops up. We use “just” so often that the actual meaning slips away.  

“She just found that jacket in the closet” 

“They just cooked the most delicious meal!” 

These examples are correct because “just” indicates that something happened very recently. 

Here’s where we need to delete “just:” 

“I’m just checking in to see if you received my invoice.” 

“I just have a few more questions.” 

“I just thought I’d suggest…” 

In all three examples, “just” makes the statement weaker. Once you start cutting out “just,” you’ll see faster responses to your emails (and responses to the ones that might never get answered). Your message becomes direct, clear, and representative of your self-worth.

Our strength is in our ability to navigate our daily lives with confidence and be unwavering in our sense of self. When we feel that strength, we radiate it, and others take note. Whether it’s our children seeing us as confident adults, co-workers who know we’re direct, vendors who realize we know what we want, or employers who see our strength, the way we’re seen is based on what we project. 

Let’s delete those two undermining words and start sending some confident emails and texts! 

About the author: Kate Davis believes personal safety should feel fun, rather than burdensome. Through her Knockout collection, Davis utilizes her background in Italian art and design to bring together daily wear with personal safety, marrying functionality with fashion and design. The collection is both stylish and sharp, featuring sleek, minimalist designs in both bold and neutral color options. With Knockout women can carry their personal safety as part of their daily style without having to compromise. More than just jewelry, Knockout is a community for women looking for camaraderie, encouragement, safety tips, and financial advice. Through Knockout, Davis wants to help women tap into their own power.

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How Diversity and Inclusion Drives Innovation, Retains Employees, and Attracts Top-Tier Talent

"It is good to be uncomfortable for the right reason. You can't make change if you're comfortable."

—Natalie Brown, Director of Corporate Citizenship at Ally

A lack of diversity has real costs. A recent study has shown that businesses with gender, ethnic, and racial diversity at the executive level are more likely to have above-average profitability and outperform the competition.

But diversity on its own is not enough. Inclusion is just as—if not more—important. 

Research shows that employees who work with managers who foster an inclusive environment are 17% more likely to report that they are high-performing and 29% more likely to report behaving collaboratively.

Put simply, diverse and inclusive businesses drive more innovation, retain employees, attract top-tier talent, and hit many other metrics that lead to long-term, sustainable growth. But to be successful, diversity and inclusion has to be a top-to-bottom business strategy, not just an HR program.

At our recent Social Good Summit, Charli Penn, the lifestyle director at ESSENCE, hosted a thoughtful conversation on the topic with Natalie Brown, the Director of Corporate Citizenship at Ally, who has nearly a decade of experience in developing diverse recruiting strategies, implementing diversity-related executive programs, and putting D&I learning solutions into action. 

On cultivating a truly inclusive company… 

“Being an inclusive company means that you're celebrating the differences of all your employees and helping them to feel like they belong and have a stake in the company's mission and vision.”

“When you're really trying to be a truly inclusive company, you really have to walk the walk—and it's a marathon, not a sprint—on helping employees feel like they belong and feel like they have a stake in the game with you.”

On creating a sense of belonging… 

“When employees feel like they belong, when there's inclusivity, and when there's diversity in thought and differences in experiences, employees become more productive because they have a stake in what you're doing.”

On having diversity in every room… 

“When you have those voices in the room—at the top, in the middle, and at the bottom—you have diversity in the room that's coming from various perspectives.”

On listening to your employees… 

“It's important for all companies to take a stake and listen to their employees to hear what they have to say. Let them be your consumer so that you are driving results according to the mission that you outlined for your company.”

On driving a culture of inclusion… 

"When you think about the strength that comes into a company from the experiences—personal and professional—that your employees bring, that's really how you can drive a culture of inclusion and really start embarking on how you can make your company better.”

On including employees in the conversation… 

"The first step is bringing in your employees, having conversations with them, figuring out how you can build this inclusive environment and what they're looking for as employees from you as an employer. What's important to them?"

On checking unconscious bias…

“We have to make sure our managers are trained on how to build an inclusive team and trained on implicit bias to make sure that they’re checking their biases.”

“We all have a bias. If you have a brain you have a bias. The thing I say all the time is, 'If you don't think you have a bias, then let me know if you like Popeyes or Chick-Fil-A.'"

On tapping into your diverse employees’ networks…

"You have to leverage the power of your diverse employees to help bring more diverse employees into your organization."

On being transparent with your employees about your progress… 

"You really have to communicate your goals and measure your progress and let employees know where you are on that journey.”

“The more transparent you are about diversity and inclusion and where you are on that journey, then the more you can gain the trust of your employees."

On fostering a company culture that values inclusion… 

"When people are socializing at events through the company, they get to know each other on a more personal level. Then inclusiveness starts to happen organically because people don't see you for the position that you hold. They see for the person that you are in that position."

On being okay with being uncomfortable… 

"It is good to be uncomfortable for the right reason. You can't make change if you're comfortable."

To learn more about Ally, visit ally.com

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Want to Feel More Productive While WFH? These Put-Together Outfits Will Inspire You to Tackle Your To-Do List

Photo: Tayla Santos

As we enter yet another month of working from home, it’s certainly no secret that signing online for a virtual Zoom meeting doesn’t exactly require the same sartorial standards as, say, getting ready for a day at the office or dressing up for an important meeting with a potential investor. While it's definitely convenient to wake up, toss your Zoom sweater on over your sweatpants, and open your laptop from the comfort of your couch, if you’re anything like us, you’re starting to feel like your productivity levels are dropping. But there’s a surprisingly easy way to regain your motivation while WFH: getting dressed as if you're going to work. 

Studies have shown that what you wear while working actually matters. Researchers who study "enclothed cognition" say that your clothing choices can affect your productivity, your thinking, and even your negotiating skills. That’s why we’ve partnered with Paige, a lifestyle collection for men and women, and DJ and creative Pamela Tick, style blogger Tayla Santos, and fashion and lifestyle influencer Pau Dictado to share put-together yet comfortable outfits (because comfort is still key) that will inspire you to tackle your to-do list while working from home. Keep scrolling to find out how you can dress for success while working from your living room.

Pamela Tick | DJ & Creative

How would you describe your personal style?

I never entirely know how to answer this question because my style has a strong foundation but is ever-evolving. It is also dependent on daily factors that make my outfits functional! 

It’s fair to say I gravitate towards minimal looks with bold pieces, usually, these pieces are leather or suede, denim, cashmere, etc. On the other hand, I can get playful sometimes too with a simple maxi skirt or long dress to bring out my fun free spirit personality.

How has this time in quarantine influenced your style? 

I have noticed a difference in the days I choose to throw on sweatpants versus the days I create a real outfit to wear. Sweats sometimes feel like an excuse to be lazy. Perfect for Sunday, but come the weekdays, I like to feel inspired and ready to work by getting dressed. The outfit I choose in the morning usually enhances my mood for the rest of the day. There is power in dressing up!

How have you adjusted to this new remote work life and what influences your styling choices each day? Do you dress for comfort or style or somewhere in between?

I fall somewhere in between dressing for comfort and style which is exactly why these Paige jeans speak to me. A happy medium! The vintage fit wears with time and molds to my body the more I wear them. These last few months have been an adjustment for all, which is why it feels important to not forget the little things that make you feel good.

Tayla Santos | Style Blogger

How would you describe your personal style?

I would say I have a neutral and minimal style. I like to keep it simple and casual whenever possible! This means I prefer a good fitting pair of denim and a hoodie paired with sneakers and a cute coat over any outfit featuring louder statement pieces. It’s the timeless and classy looks that never go out of style and you can’t go wrong with! 

How has this time in quarantine influenced your style? 

I’ve been wearing so much more athleisure! I’m all about the matching set lately. Love being comfortable while still super stylish and now it’s almost my mission to incorporate a hoodie,  into any look haha. I like to refer to my “three C’s,” casual, chic, and comfortable! 

I love wearing a WFH outfit that I can easily swap the slippers for some boots or sneakers, add a jacket and be out the door for a quick Starbucks drive-through coffee break!

How have you adjusted to this new remote work life and what influences your styling choices each day? Do you dress for comfort or style or somewhere in between?

It’s actually funny you ask this! My journey as an “influencer” started during this pandemic. On March 6th, I quit my full-time job as a teacher’s aid and told myself I was going to pursue blogging full time. Three days later, on March 9th, we went into lockdown. I was freaking out. Now I had no other option than to make this work! I went into full hustle mode and don’t regret a second of it! I’ve been posting every day since and grew my audience by over 20,000 followers in eight months! This has been a great journey and I can confidently say I love what I do.

As for how it’s affected my style, I would say the pandemic and lockdown has played a major role in shaping my style into what it is today. I remember (maybe two to three years ago) I used to try so hard to put together the perfect outfit. Now, knowing I at most will be grabbing a coffee through the Starbucks drive-through, I’ve turned to simpler outfits. I feel so much more confident and myself in casual and simple outfits. I love keeping it minimal, chic, and put together by maintaining a neutral color palette. It’s all about the fit of the outfit. For example, the Paige jeans I’m wearing here hug the body perfectly with luxurious comfort and super stretch fibers. It’s just a plus that it comes in tons of authentic washes to add some texture to my minimal outfits. 

What is your foolproof outfit formula for boosting your productivity and staying comfortable and stylish while working from home?

I am the biggest believer in getting up and getting ready for the day as if you actually had to go into the office. When I’m dressed and ready, I feel more productive and ready to attack that day’s to-do list. There’s a totally different vibe when working at your desk in a comfy pair of denim. I say grab your favorite pair of denim, add some fuzzy socks, your most comfy hoodie and you’re good to go! If it’s a little warmer where you are, swap the hoodie out for a crisp white tee tucked into your denim, layer some cute gold necklaces, and you’re ready to slay the day! 

How does getting dressed for the day in comfortable yet stylish clothing make you feel more motivated and ready to take on your to-do list?

You know when you put together that perfect “all day outfit?” The kind of outfit you’re kind of sad that you have to take off at the end of the day? That’s how you feel when you’re rocking the most comfortable and timeless pair of denim. What’s better than having a pair of denim that you can wear all day working at home, styled comfortably to elevate the look with over the knee boot heels and a long coat for an evening look!

Pau Dictado | Fashion & Lifesytle Influencer

How would you describe your personal style?

Edgy and effortless.

How has this time in quarantine influenced your style?

My priority has shifted to more comfortable wear and investing in high-quality pieces that will be a staple in my closet. Since I rarely go out and I’m mostly working from home, I don’t feel the need to shop as much. But when I do, I want high-quality pieces I can really feel good in!

How have you adjusted to this new remote work life and what influences your styling choices each day? Do you dress for comfort or style or somewhere in between?

I dress for both comfort and style. Comfort has definitely become my top priority, but I believe I don’t have to sacrifice my style while doing so! What I love most about my Paige jeans is that it’s stylish without sacrificing comfort. It has a luxe coating with super gloss pigment that gives the look of leather in a silhouette that you can live in! 

What is your foolproof outfit formula for boosting your productivity and staying comfortable and stylish while working from home?

My foolproof outfit would have to be a button up shirt with jeans. There’s just something about this formula that never goes out of style! Not to mention, it’s both comfortable and flattering, just like these jeans. I just love how it hugs my body in all the right areas!

How does getting dressed for the day in comfortable yet stylish clothing make you feel more motivated and ready to take on your to-do list?

When I look good, I feel good. And when I feel good, I feel like I can take on the world! Dressing up has definitely helped boost my confidence and productivity, and wearing a good pair of jeans can make a world of a difference. The WFH life can be mundane at times, so I always seek out ways to change things up and add some fun elements into my routine.

Shop the looks at Paige.com.

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