Pivoting from one career into an entirely new one takes courage. But imagine closing one door and not having another one to open, yet? That’s the bold move Chrissy Rutherford made recently when she stepped down from her role as Bazaar.com’s digital editor to special projects director, talent, and social after nine years citing a much-needed (and well-deserved) break as the catalyst. “I’ve never really taken a risk in my life, so this is the first time I’m really betting on myself and it feels good,” she wrote on Instagram. (Spoiler alert: she won’t be going to another magazine.)

Starting her career as a fashion intern at Harper’s Bazaar (with a brief stint as the digital editorial assistant at InStyle) Rutherford worked her way up the ranks to a director role growing the brand’s Instagram account to 4.1 million followers and cementing it’s ranking as one of the top five magazine brands on the platform. Now the self-professed high achiever is switching lanes and getting used to feeling comfortable in the uncomfortable.

In honor of International Women’s Day, we partnered with our friends at PAIGE to put the spotlight on five incredible women who are marching to the beat of their own drum and walking it forward with an outstretched hand bringing the rest of us along for the ride.

Read on to learn more about Rutherford’s leap, why she chose to be transparent about mental health, and how she handles the pressure.

CREATE & CULTIVATE: Can you take us back to that "lightbulb" moment when you realized you wanted to work in magazines?

CHRISSY RUTHERFORD: I was just always very interested in fashion, and magazines from my early teens. I spent most of my free time reading Harper’s Bazaar, Vogue, Elle, etc. from cover to cover every month. I studied the models, designers, photographers, and stylists. I would always tell people I wanted to be the person that picked the clothes that went into the magazines.

You recently stepped down from your role as the special projects director of talent and social at HarpersBazaar.com where you also ran the Bazaar Instagram account with 4.1 million followers and counting. How did you land the job?

I was very lucky that I didn’t have to interview for my job at Bazaar.com. My boss Joyann King, and I had worked together previously at InStyle.com. So when she took over Bazaar and needed some help, she asked me to come in and freelance for a few months. There wasn’t a team in place, she had just hired Kerry Pieri (now Bazaar.com’s fashion director) so Joyann just fought to keep me on the team.

My role completely evolved over the years as the internet did. I came in first to do market for fashion shopping stories, I would attend events, report on that, interview celebrities and fashion industry professionals. Then I took over Instagram when we thought it really needed the vision of just a single person. It’s very aesthetics driven obviously and it was really fun to communicate the brand that I felt like I knew so well, through this new platform.

Also because I was building so many relationships and contacts with people through industry events and parties, I really helped curate the talent we were featuring on the site or finding people with interesting stories to tell and having them write for us.

You were responsible for growing the Harper’s Bazaar IG account to ensure its ranking as one of the top five magazine brands on the platform. What was your vision for the brand?

Bazaar has been around for over 150 years now, so it was just my responsibility to curate what the brand looks like for the digital age. I had a wonderful archive of Bazaar photography to play with so that made my job a lot easier. Then I would mix in what I knew our followers wanted from us, celebrity content, gorgeous gowns, cool fashion, royals, and couples. I believe staying nimble and being able to be reactive on Instagram (I never planned content) also helped the success of our account. If I woke up one morning and saw a great outfit on Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, I didn’t have to wait to schedule it, I would post it right away. I think the most important thing about running an Instagram account is understanding your audience, and what they like.

You have also become a style icon and role model in your own right cultivating an engaged community via your personal Instagram account. How do you use this platform for personal expression?

I’m an open person and always have been. I want girls to know that you can have a multitude of interests—you can love fashion and spirituality, or politics and music, and it’s okay to share all these different sides of us. It’s so fun to be interested in many different things—these interests feed our soul. Also, taking care of our minds is just as important as taking care of our bodies.

You’re not afraid to take risks and to jump even if it scares you. In an interview with Atlanda de Cadenet Taylor on her podcast I’m Over It you said, “I’ve learned over the years that there actually is no better feeling than accomplishing the things that we’re fucking terrified of.” How did you get to that place in yourself to confront the things that terrify you but do it anyway?

I’ve been struggling with anxiety since I was in middle school, my parents were very against me taking anti-anxiety medication so I really had to find ways to work through my issues outside of just having a therapist. My anxiety was pretty debilitating at times—a lot of my hobbies that I once loved like performing (I was a dancer growing up) became extremely difficult for me. My parents really challenged me to try to get back on the stage again, and it took me a few years, and lots of encouragement from those around me, but I eventually did.

It was the same case for my fear of flying. I remember so vividly, the agony I felt the first time I had to fly for work, I hadn’t been on a plane in almost three years prior. So there was so much build-up that made it feel terrifying, and I decided I never wanted to feel that way again. The only way I was going to do that was to work through my fear of flying. I did it with baby steps (and a prescription of Xanax from my doctor). I would fly with friends I felt super comfortable with, tried flying longer distances, and eventually, I just became more confident. My therapist would always tell me, the goal isn’t to not be afraid, it’s to be afraid and do it anyway.

I try to stay focused on how good it feels once you finally get to that destination, or you finally accomplish that task you’re afraid of. Visualization is really helpful in the process if you take some time to just mentally walk yourself through what you’re afraid of. Picture yourself going through all the motions and having a successful outcome.

How we appear on the outside can impact how we feel on the inside. What do you wear to feel confident?

I derive a lot of confidence from my outfits. I like to look good because it makes me feel good. I always love high-waisted jeans and bodysuit with like a sleek ankle boot and throw in a cool jacket or blazer for good measure.

You have achieved so much success at such a young age, and you have a community of women who look up to you. Do you ever feel the pressure?

The only pressure I feel is from myself. I’ve recently come to terms with the fact that I’m a high achiever. Not a perfectionist by any means, but I just want to achieve great and significant things, so it’s a lot of pressure to feel that way. Now that I’ve left my full-time role at Bazaar.com, I know a lot of people are looking to see what I will do next or expecting me to announce a new job right away. However, I think it’s really important for me to take a break after being in such a high-stress job for so long. It’s also important for my community to see that yes, you can have a wonderful job, but you can also switch directions, and you can take a break and it’s okay to put yourself first.

Women of color are still underrepresented in the media and you have become an inspiration to many who see themselves in you— You can’t be it if you can’t see it. Why are representation and visibility so important to you?

I think that the fashion industry actually holds a lot of power in how women of color are viewed because our industry is what sets the tone for what is cool, worthy, and desirable. So it’s important to see women of color in ad campaigns, in powerful jobs, running their own businesses. It sets the tone that this is the norm. I think the next step though is really integrating women of color into all levels of the business. We need leaders who are women of color, it can’t always be about what’s happening in front of the camera, or giving the *appearance* of diversity. Having a diverse team is just good for business.

How hard is it to break into the industry today? How do you get a foot in the door?

It’s a really difficult time to be starting out in fashion media. It’s always been competitive and it’s even more so considering there are fewer magazines, fewer positions on the masthead. However, I don’t think anyone should let the odds discourage them, you always have to go after what you want. I just believe that sometimes when we don’t get that thing that we want, it could also be a blessing. This industry is always changing and you don’t necessarily need the approval of a top magazine to become a writer. We’re all capable of paving our own path.

What traits do you need to succeed in the competitive media landscape? Why?

I think you need to be confident. I’ve never felt like I had to compete with anyone because I’m my own unique person. So if someone doesn’t want to hire me, that job just wasn’t for me.

What does International Women’s Day mean to you? How can we continue to recognize, honor and celebrate the important and impressive achievements of women globally?

Women should always be celebrated, but it’s amazing to have this day to really recognize the women that are paving a path for others, and helping to elevate the conversation around women’s issues and rights.

You seem so bold and self-assured. What advice do you have for others who want to summon that courage too?

I’ve spent a lot of time working on myself in therapy. Also, astrology and having my birth chart read by my astrologer Rebecca Gordon, has helped me a lot. It’s been about validating the parts of myself that I love and parts that I struggle with. So, I feel like I have a very deep understanding of myself, and that gives me confidence. I also just like to keep perspective that we only have this life, and it seems like a waste of time to wish that we are any different than who we are.

The filtered world of social media often hides a lot of hard work and hustle behind-the-scenes. What’s a lesson we can all learn from your mistakes?

The hardest decision I’ve ever had to make professionally is leaving my job at Bazaar.com after 8.5 years. This job was absolutely my life, but at the same time I was burnt out and I just felt like I wanted more for myself. Making that decision was absolutely agonizing, and definitely something I was unable to share with people even though part of me wanted to because I’m sure many people struggle with this decision. At times it made me feel like a phony because I had to pretend that everything was great when I didn’t really feel that it was. I was completely disenchanted. However, now that I’ve left it will be much easier for me to communicate with my audience about the feelings around needing a change and leaving a job. I think we’re all taught to desire security, and a stable job but what does it mean when that’s not necessarily enough?

What does it take to be the first and pioneer a new space?

Believing in yourself wholeheartedly is really the most important step.

Seeing people pave the way can give us the confidence to do it too. Name someone who walked it forward and inspired you to step up too? My mom definitely gave me the confidence to pursue my dreams. My parents are both from Jamaica, and my mom came to the United States as a teenager and worked so hard (along with my dad) to provide a great life for my brothers and me. She never went to college, so my education was always top priority but she really gave me the freedom to explore who I was and my interests and figure out the path I wanted to take in my life and supported me every step of the way.

If there was one woman you could power brunch with, who would it be?

Oprah! Not only is her success admirable, but her desire to always help others. She has such a wonderful perspective on life that we could all take notes from.