This Mom's Mind Was Filled With "Worries and Anxieties Every Night"—Sound Familiar? Here's What Helped Her Sleep
Her nighttime routine is one to emulate.
To put her mind at easy come bedtime, Angela J. Kim ends each day by reflecting on what she’s grateful for. “My days are long and hard, and there are so many worries and anxieties that fill my mind every night when I lay down to sleep,” explains the founder of the lifestyle brand Mommy Diary. Her relaxing nighttime ritual of meditating and writing in her gratitude journal has taken on a whole new importance in the wake of the coronavirus pandemic. The blogger, podcast host, activist, and mom of four, spanning a nine-month-old to a 13-year-old, keeps a busy schedule and, like so many working parents, has a lot on her mind these days.
Since she started quarantining in her Southern California home with her family, she’s had to adapt to a whole new schedule, which includes her staying awake long after she’s put the kids to sleep to squeeze in a few more hours of uninterrupted work. One constant in her routine, though, is her nightly ritual. “I make sure I’m ending each day on a positive note with positive thoughts and a list of things I’m grateful for,” she explains. “That way, I’m constantly rewiring my brain to be positive, hopeful, and grateful, even in my subconscious.”
Now that Purple has launched a mattress for kids, her gratitude list has gotten just a little bit longer. “A good mattress is so important for our kids because it makes a huge difference in their quality of sleep and provides the right support for their growing bodies,” Kim explains. “My son loves the way it feels and hugs his body without making him too hot, and I love the machine-washable cover, which makes mom life so much easier.” For a mom who’s navigating working, teaching, and parenting from home 24/7, any win, no matter how seemingly small, is worth being grateful for.
Ahead, Kim shares the nightly rituals that help her and her family rest easier, including the bedside table essentials she always keeps within arm’s reach, the bedtime stories she swears by, and the many reasons why the Purple mattress for kids is a game-changer.
CREATE & CULTIVATE: It’s so important that moms get their 8-hours just as much as the kids. What is your relationship with sleep now that you have children?
ANGELA KIM: My relationship with sleep goes through different seasons. I was getting regular 7-8 hours of sleep until I got pregnant with my fourth baby. These days, my sleep is interrupted every night and I sleep in 4-5 hour stretches. I’m exhausted and can’t wait to sleep through the night again. While it’s hard, I know this is a short and fast season.
Sleep, or lack of it, can contribute to many health concerns including mental health, productivity, weight, immunity—the list goes on! Getting good sleep is all about how you wind down before bed. Can you share your nighttime routine or pre-sleep ritual and how that sets you up for sleep success? Why does this enhance a more restful night’s sleep?
I wind down with a five-minute meditation and five-minute gratitude journal every night. My days are long and hard and there are so many worries and anxieties that fill my mind every night when I lay down to sleep. So I make sure I’m ending each day on a positive note with positive thoughts and a list of things I’m grateful for. That way, I’m constantly rewiring my brain to be positive, hopeful, and grateful, even in my subconscious.
What are your nightstand must-haves for a good night’s sleep?
I love my Himalayan salt rock, five-minute gratitude journal, favorite book, rose quartz gua sha tool with essential oils, and a small notebook to jot down random thoughts and dreams.
What are your hacks for getting through the day after a bad night’s sleep?
Coffee, matcha, peppermint oil in a diffuser then repeat!
What do your kids’ sleep rituals look like? Can you share the challenges of getting your kids into a healthy sleep routine—what’s worked/what hasn’t?
My kids are pretty good sleepers overall. Their bedtime routine begins with a warm bath, then a short story, then sleep.
My four-year-old son likes when my husband sits in the rocking chair while he falls asleep and my 8 months old daughter likes to fall asleep while breastfeeding. With four kids, we have to divide and conquer.
What doesn’t work is long bedtime stories! Keep the storybooks short and sweet. Kids tend to ask you to read it again and again so make it clear that they get one or two bedtime stories.
Can you recommend any books that have helped?
I love I Love You Through and Through and the classic bedtime story Goodnight Moon.
How much have your sleep patterns and rituals changed since quarantine? Why?
I’m definitely sleeping later and waking up later than before quarantine. I’m with the kids all day at home, so I have to squeeze in more work after the kids go to sleep after 9 pm. The upside is that I no longer have to rush to get the kids out of the house by 8 am!
How much does your mattress impact your and your kids’ sleep and why?
A good mattress is so important for our kids because it makes a huge difference in their quality of sleep and provides the right support for their growing bodies. A good mattress should be breathable, non-toxic, and hypoallergenic with the right amount of support.
Now, your favorite mattress brand, Purple, just launched for kids and yours have been testing it. What were your kids’ first impressions—how has it enhanced their sleep, what changes have you noticed, would you recommend it—tell us everything!
My son loves his new Purple mattress! He loves the way it feels and hugs his body without making him too hot. My son hates being hot in his sleep and the Purple mattress keeps him cool. I also love the machine-washable cover which makes mom life so much easier.
How are you teaching your children about the importance of sleep hygiene and rituals for a good night’s sleep? Can you recommend any books?
I teach my son the importance of sleep hygiene like brushing teeth and washing his face and hands at night by reminding him throughout the day. For example, if he wants candy during the day I’ll say, “Okay, you get one candy but make sure you’re brushing your teeth and making them clean at night time!” Or, “Sure, you can play with that tractor in the sandbox but let’s make sure we wash off the dirt before getting into bed.”
Now he loves bath time and asks for it every night. After a full day of playing, he has no problem falling asleep on his Purple mattress within 5-10 minutes.
What advice do you have for sleep-deprived parents reading this who are struggling to find a routine that sticks and gets their kids into a routine?
Avoid stimulating music, games, and books at nighttime and stick to the same routine to provide a sense of comfort for the kids. My kids love playing “dinosaurs on the wall” with a flashlight by making hand puppets. This game allows short and sweet bonding time without the lights on, which transitions nicely to bedtime.
Sentence Finishers:
When I make time for self-care, I…
Take a long bath with fragrant bath bombs and candles.
My go-to tip for a good night’s sleep is…
A warm Epsom salt bath and dosing off to sleep with positive affirmations and a gratitude list in my head.
If there were more hours in the day, I would…
Spend more time on extra self-care rituals like facials, massages, hair, and nails.
Moms know best because…
We are intuitive.
A good night’s sleep feels like…
Heaven on earth.
I’d give up ____ for an uninterrupted 8 hours of sleep.
Anything.
The silliest thing I’ve done while sleep deprived is…
Looking for my baby in the home because I forgot where I put her down, LOL.
Click here to learn more from other moms on their sleep tips, nighttime routine, and experience with the new Purple Kid's Mattress.
MORE ON THE BLOG
This GlobeTrotting Mom's Nighttime Routine Might Be Unorthodox But It Works
"It allows me to actually relax when I get in bed."
Hailey Devine knows the difference a quality mattress can make. The co-founder of Somewhere Devine Expeditions, a non-profit travel company, has trekked everywhere from Zambia to Peru to Thailand, which, as you’d imagine, has involved sleeping in a lot of different environments. “I’ve slept on poorly made mattresses and it makes me feel as if I never slept at all,” explains the entrepreneur and mother of two daughters, Greta (4) and Lucy (6). “The same goes for the kids. I know that if they’re not sleeping on a good mattress I’m going to deal with a lot of crankiness the following day!”
With travel plans temporarily on hold due to COVID, Devine and her family have been settling in at their home in Utah and preparing for the arrival of their third daughter in early 2021. One of the biggest game-changers for the growing family? Moving their youngest into a Purple kid’s mattress. “This was Greta’s transition to a ‘big girl bed’ and it has gone so much smoother than I thought,” says Devine. “I’ve noticed both of the girls winding down a lot easier and getting that good quality sleep that their little bodies need, which makes everyone around our house much happier and energetic!”
Scroll on to learn more about their experience with the new Purple kid’s mattress and Devine’s nightly routine, including her 10-minute ritual of tidying up the house after the kids go down to bed.
CREATE & CULTIVATE: It’s so important that moms get their 8-hours just as much as the kids. What is your relationship with sleep now that you have two young daughters (and another one on the way!)?
HAILEY DEVINE: I feel like we are in the sweet spot of parenthood right now because Lucy and Greta sleep 10 hours a night! So not only do I get to have “me time” before bed, but I’m currently getting a full 8 hours of sleep! I think we’re in for a rude awakening come January.
Sleep, or lack of it, can contribute to many health concerns including mental health, productivity, weight, immunity—the list goes on! Getting good sleep is all about how you wind down before bed. Can you share your nighttime routine or pre-sleep ritual and how that sets you up for sleep success? Why does this enhance a more restful night’s sleep?
I love spending ten minutes tidying up the house after the kids go down to bed. It allows me to actually relax when I get in bed, knowing that I’m waking up to a clean slate in the morning! I also love taking a bath, reading a book, and rubbing some essential oils on my neck and feet.
What are your nightstand must-haves for a good night’s sleep?
Sound machine, chapstick, essential oils, and ice water!
What are your hacks for getting through the day after a bad night’s sleep?
Eating well and exercising. If I don’t do those things on top of bad sleep, then I really become a monster!
What do your kids’ sleep rituals look like? Can you share the challenges of getting your kids into a healthy sleep routine—what’s worked/what hasn’t?
The girls sleep in the same room and do the same sleep rituals together, which makes it more simple for us. We brush teeth, go potty, read, and pray together. Our oldest tends to get scared, and what has worked is validating her feelings and having her verbalize, “I am safe, I am loved, I am protected,” and re-shift her focus to happy thoughts. What hasn’t helped is punishment.
Can you recommend any books that have helped?
Taking Cara Babies has an amazing sleep program! Babywise was also helpful, although, we apply a more gentle approach to sleep training.
How much have your sleep patterns and rituals changed since quarantine? Why?
Surprisingly, our sleep patterns and rituals haven’t changed! The kids didn’t seem to skip a beat.
How much does your mattress impact your and your kids’ sleep and why?
Speaking for myself, I’ve slept on poorly made mattresses and it makes me feel as if I never slept at all! The same goes for the kids. I know that if they’re not sleeping on a good mattress I’m going to deal with a lot of crankiness the following day!
Now, your favorite mattress brand, Purple just launched for kids and yours have been testing it. What were your kids’ first impressions—how has it enhanced their sleep, what changes have you noticed, would you recommend it—tell us everything!
This was Greta’s transition to a “big girl bed” and it has gone so much smoother than I thought, thanks to the mattress! I’ve noticed both of the girls winding down a lot easier and getting that good quality sleep that their little bodies need, which makes everyone around our house much happier and energetic!
How are you teaching your children about the importance of sleep hygiene and rituals for a good night’s sleep? Can you recommend any books?
With our kids, it is all about learning by experience. We let Lucy, our oldest, make choices on the weekends to have sleepovers with cousins on the floor, etc., but we let her know what the consequences are. That she will probably wake up feeling yucky and not feeling her best. So moving forward, she can make her own healthy decisions!
What advice do you have for sleep-deprived parents reading this who are struggling to find a routine that sticks and gets their kids into a routine?
The earlier you can start healthy sleeping habits the better! Giving your children the gift of self-soothing may be rough for a couple of nights, but it is so worth it for everyone in the long run. We started with the eat-wake-sleep method right out of the gate with Greta and it’s crazy how better of a sleeper she is than Lucy.
If you’re feeling like you’re late in the game, it is never too late to teach self-soothing techniques to your child through affirmations and tools to help them get back to sleep on their own. It takes more effort as the child is older, but don’t give up. Stay patient and gentle. Remember your child reflects the energy that you put out. You got this!
Sentence finishers:
When I make time for self-care, I…
Perform better for me and for those around me.
My go-to tip for a good night’s sleep is …
All hidden in your nighttime routine!
If there were more hours in the day I would…
Probably choose to take a nap daily! Haha! I love my sleep.
Moms know best because…
We have an intuition for our children that others do not.
A good night’s sleep feels like…
The greatest gift, especially after those first weeks after giving birth!
I’d give up ____ for an uninterrupted 8 hours of sleep.
My social life.
The silliest thing I’ve done while sleep deprived is…
Laughing uncontrollably and then bursting into tears over absolutely nothing!
Click here to learn more from other moms on their sleep tips, nighttime routine, and experience with the new Purple Kid's Mattress.
MORE ON THE BLOG
This Crazy Stat Will Change the Way You Think About Your Evenings
Something you do every.single.night is affecting your sleep.
photo credit: pixabay.com
Every night before you go to sleep, to recharge and reset for the next day, you do this thing. We know you do, because we do it too. You scroll Instagram. Even when you tell yourself you’re **NOT GONNA TOUCH THAT PHONE** somehow, it ends up in your sleepy hand. And it’s destroying your slumber.
Science has shown us that blue light, AKA, light that comes off any electronic or tech, messes with your body’s natural ability to produce the oh-so-necessary sleep hormone melatonin. It was discovered on accident that humans are incredibly sensitive to blue light, however,
Studies prove that light is the most powerful cue for us when it comes to our circadian rhythms. And it is closely related to our melatonin production. Melatonin is present in low levels during the day, is released a few hours before bedtime, and peaks in the middle of the night (in other words, when it’s darkest). Looking at light suppresses melatonin (terrible news for bedtime tech abusers who have a hard time self-motivating to turn their devices off). But OFF they MUST go! A day without good sleep is groggy, unfocused, and not nearly as productive as you’d like it to be.
So what are the steps you should take to ensure that you rise refreshed and ready to greet the workday? Our friends at it™ bed dished some of their best advice (and yes, it involves cookies). Read on weary workers!
Limit screen time. Instead of checking your emails before bed, or scrolling Instagram for inspiration, opt for something non-tech related. Read a book or do some light yoga to de-stress. You should likewise highly consider taking the television out of your bedroom. It’s so easy to fall asleep binge-watching your favorite shows, but find a new way to get that brain to unwind. Your body will thank you.
Take a warm shower or bath before bed. Doing so forces your body to redouble efforts to get rid of heat, resulting in cooler skin when you snuggle into bed – easier to fall asleep!
Lavender/Chamomile are two herbs that will help you drift off to sleep faster. Add them to a bath for an extra sleepy boost before bed! (Come make lavender or chamomile bath salts at the it™ bed booth!)
Have an oatmeal raisin cookie: Yes, indulging a little bit will get your sleep on the right path. Oats contain both magnesium and calcium and are high in carbs, which means you’ll get a lot of neurochemical serotonin to help make you sleepy. You’ll get to bed much easier after this light snack, but keep it to one (maybe two!) to avoid trying to fall asleep on a full stomach.
Keep things cool: Use a small fan to lower the temperature and get good airflow around the room. Remember, cooler is better for sleep. But note: Studies show that going to bed with warm feet will help you fall into deeper sleep faster.
And remember: routines before bed teach your body to unwind (necessary for everyone, but especially busy, working women with full time jobs AND side hustles). So whatever your routine is, prioritize it.
Tell us! What screen-free activities do you include in your nightly routine?
MORE FROM OUR BLOG
This Bed Can Talk to Your Fitness Tracker
And that means something big for you career.
If there was something that could make you smarter, healthier, and happier, you’d be into it, right?
It’s what we’re all in search of: the secret life hack that gets us on track and well on our way to greatness. So what if we told you that secret was in your sleep?
The connection between sleep and productivity has been documented by multiple studies. But what if there was something that could take you beyond good sleep? Something that would help your career goals long term...
UP IN YOUR ROOM, WORKIN’ ON YOUR SLEEP
During all stages of sleep, your mind is hard at work, processing new memories, placing them into long-term brain storage, and integrating the new knowledge with past experiences. It’s during this downtime when we allow ourselves to rest that so much crucial brain work gets done. During deep sleep our brains actually drain toxins that have built up over the course of the day. They also consolidate memories, restore energy stores, and solidify knowledge.
And we all know, knowledge is power.
The short of it is: If you don’t downtime you won’t download— which is a critical cog in your internal career machine. Without sleep you aren’t as likely to come up with creative ideas, problem solve, or focus.
“If you don’t downtime you won’t download.”
Tweet this.
A lack of good sleep means a lack of good ideas.
BUT ALSO, WORKIN’ ON YOUR FITNESS
Countless athletes credit sleep as one of the most crucial parts to their success. In fact, many sports professionals have sleep coaches in addition to their regular coaches. For those of us who don’t have a #sleepsquad at our beck and call, there are options.
The “it bed” by Sleep Number is smarter than your average bed. Beyond using its proprietary algorithm and predictive tech to figure out what your sleep “number” should be, it can talk to your fitness tracker. Why does this matter?
It can give you insight into your workout that will allow you to sleep better, which in turn will allow you to function better throughout the day. For instance, if the it bed sees that you ran 5 miles but didn’t sleep well, it will tell you how to improve your workout, which will in turn, improve your sleep. It is constantly sending data to a SleepIQ app you can download. Pete Bils, VP of Sleep Science and Research at Select Comfort says, "Our research found: people who used SleepIQ technology experienced improved sleep quality and more restful time in bed."
Consider “it” the sleep coach you can’t afford.
GET YOUR BRAIN OUT OF FIRST GEAR & INTO FIRST PLACE
The research is in: the link between sleep and productivity is real. Why do refuse to believe it? No one is the sleep outlier. It’s not the enemy and you certainly shouldn’t do it when you’re dead. Romanticizing the notion of not sleeping is a cultural epidemic. It’s time you shut that idea down and shut your brain off.
If you’re sleeping less, you might *technically* be getting *more* done, but if you’re not sleeping you’re not operating at max capacity. Getting a good night's sleep improves health and thinking. Not sleeping impairs cognition, attention, and decision making. Bils shares, "Quality sleep affects every aspect, every role of your life. Better mood, disposition, attitude and outlook."
So make a great decision and opt for 7-8 restful hours per night. Your career (and workout) will thank you.
MORE FROM OUR BLOG
This One Productivity Hack Will Change Your Entire Work Day
Good news is-- you already do it.
It's not just quantity when it comes to sleep, it's quality. Your brain needs those zzzs more than you know to be your most productive and it's something that Sleep Number Chief Strategy and Customer Relationship Officer Melissa Barra knows plenty about.
Studies have endlessly shown that pulling all-nighters is bad for business and that sleep health is key to mental and physical well-being.
Melissa, who has a Sleep Number setting of 30, shared that "quality sleep is essential for health and for performance. Sleep affects all aspects of our life – from mental agility, to physical activity, to general wellness. I am excited to see the beginnings of a cultural shift that recognizes that sleep at the center of a healthy life. A person that sleeps well performs better!"
WE KNOW PERFORMANCE AT WORK IS AFFECTED BY SLEEP
Like most of us, Melissa says that she feels a difference at work when she doesn't get enough shut-eye. "Sleep is core to performance in every part of my life.”
"When I’ve had a good night’s sleep, I feel energized, alert and more creative. My problem-solving and decision-making skills are better."
Some of us think we don't need more than five hours. Others think if we don't look at what time we finally close our eyes, we can trick ourselves into thinking we slept longer. But the body knows and so does your brain the next day. Skimping on sleep means skimping on you.
The right kind of sleep also matters. So...
IF YOU'RE NOT SURE HOW YOU’RE DOING, TRACK YOUR SLEEP
If you lay in bed, wide-awake tossing and turning, you’re not getting quality and restful sleep. A restless state of sleep can have damaging effects on the next day's productivity.
Melissa explains, "Because I track my sleep, I know that on days I haven’t sleep well, it ends up being the start of a vicious cycle. My workout isn’t as powerful; I don’t eat as well as I typically do; and my productivity suffers! Knowing and feeling that difference really drives me to try to get the best sleep I possibly can."
"A restless state of sleep can have damaging effects on the next day's productivity."
Tweet this.
Tracking your sleep can help you with your sleep goals, which in turn will help you with your career goals.
WAYS TO PROTECT YOUR SLEEP
Studies have shown that consuming caffeine six hours before you plan to hit the hay can have haywire effects. You may be technically asleep, but void of the full benefits you should enjoying.
"While I love coffee, I won’t drink it after 3 p.m. because I know caffeine will still be in my system by the time I go to bed and can disrupt my sleep," says Melissa.
Likewise research has found that exposure to the blue light from phones, tablets, and other screens can disrupt sleep and the content can lead to a ‘racing mind’. Melissa addresses this issue by shutting "down my email and texts one hour before I go to sleep – this also helps me wind down from the day and protects my sleep."
REMEMBER: THE HUSTLE DOES SLEEP
If you want your brain to be on it's best behavior, you have to treat your body right.
"I feel most productive on the mornings when I’ve gotten great quality sleep," says Melissa. "When I arrive at the office before anyone else is there. I find that I get my best thinking and best work done during that time."
MORE FROM OUR BLOG