Why I Quit My Highly Coveted Job When I Was 8 Months Pregnant
Office politics suck.
image credit: Rick Rodney Photography
A recent study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology confirms what women have known since the dawn of time—that we're damned if we do and damned if we don't. While this spot-on summary of the female experience could conceivably refer to just about anything (ranging from kegeling wrong to doing kegels), in this scenario, we're talking about taking maternity leave. More specifically, that a look at the attitudes of 200 working men and women in the US and the UK finds that a "woman who took time off was seen as less committed and competent at work" while the woman who didn’t was "judged to be a worse parent, a less desirable partner and a less caring person." SEEMS REASONABLE.
Speaking of fair—the Pew Research Center reports that of 41 developed nations, the US is the only one doesn't mandate paid maternity leave. To put our antediluvian policies into perspective: Estonia offers more than a year and a half of paid leave to new parents, while 31 of the 41 aforementioned countries have modest plans in place for fathers, with Japan, Korea, Portugal, Norway, Luxembourg and Iceland leading the way, offering a minimum of two months leave for new dads.
On the other end of the spectrum, there’s the US, where the Department of Labor found that 1 in 4 women return to work within 2 weeks of giving birth. If you’ve yet to firsthand experience the miracle of life and all its glorious indignities (speaking of: see pooping article here), it’s quite common for women to bleed from their vaginas and wear industrial diapers for up to six weeks postpartum. Frankly this is on the lesser end of the symptom spectrum, which includes: leaky breasts, perineum pain, abdominal cramps, difficulty urinating, cracked nipples, postpartum depression, and on. Needless to say, two weeks ain’t gonna cut it.
Amazingly, while the US ranks dead last for parental leave and the majority of mothers return to the office before they’ve even had a change to slather themselves in nipple butter and get a decent night’s sleep, we’re still finding it in our cold, capitalist hearts to judge the fortunate few who’ve received a couple of measly paid weeks leave. Talk about getting the sh*t end of the positive pee stick.
In my personal experience as a woman living, working and expecting in California-—the state considered to be the gold standard of maternity leave for the United States (which, is kind of like saying a Southwest Buttermilk Crispy Chicken Salad is the healthiest thing on the McDonald's menu)—the system is broken. Without a full legal team in your corner, it’s nearly impossible to decode and navigate. Case in point: After two years of running a successful freelance business, I found myself four months pregnant, craving stability (AKA a reason to put on pants in the morning) and accepting a full-time offer as Editorial Director for a popular fashion brand that sells Pantone perfect mules to a customer base that’s probably 17% aspiring mommy blogger. It felt like a perfect match.
Now, while I didn’t take the job for the promise of paid maternity leave, it was definitely a perk I firmly and directly addressed with Human Resources during the interview process. I was explicitly mislead that I would be getting said perk. Foolish me for not getting this in writing (always get it in writing kids). because as my due date approached and I began coordinating the plan for my departure, it became clear that my employers had no intention of giving me any paid time off. Fine print: I had not been at the company for one year. Under the California Pregnancy Disability Leave Law I was entitled to keep my job with up to four months unpaid leave, however, being a stubborn-ass feminist and not wanting to feel like a disposable resource, I politely gave my two weeks notice.
Women across the United States deal with this every single day, as a vast number of companies remain committed to shelling out the bare minimum. Why wouldn't they? It's what they're legally allowed to get away with. Even those that claim to be feminist. Take for example, recent headlines haunting the fashion world outing female founders whose internal company structures don’t practice the feminist agendas they preach. This fauxminist phenomenon runs so deep that the humorists at McSweeney’s even penned a “Guide for Brands That Have Recently Discovered Women.” It encourages companies patting themselves on the back for “rah-rah-ing women” on their twitter to ask themselves, “Does our family leave policy reflect the real world or was it drafted with giraffes who give birth standing up and then go about their business in mind?”
Thankfully, there's growing minority of modern thinkers-—including Netflix, Etsy, Spotify, and a slew of tech heavy-hitters-—who are realizing that supporting mothers is not a frivolous expense, but an investment in their future. One such pioneering label is Innerwear brand Richer Poorer. Despite being a startup, the company extends all female employees a full, 12-week paid maternity leave and even offers the dudes a flexible six-week paternity leave policy that is a transition back into full-time.
"Supporting mothers is not a frivolous expense, but an investment in their future."
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“Regardless of our size, we are very much a people and family-first business at Richer Poorer,” says co-founder and CEO Iva Pawling. “My Co-Founder Tim and I are both parents, so we hold a lot of value in supporting the other parents on our team, and especially the new, or soon-to-be-new bunch.” While the logistics of being small and having a valuable team member out on extended leave are certainly complicated, Pawling says it’s a choice to make a long-term investment in the business, and one that’s proven to work. “We really have found that the rest of the team picks up the slack in their absence and carries the projects or responsibilities forward.”
No brainer:
Internal company structures should practice the feminist agendas they preach.
Even if you're lucky enough to work at a company with some kind of paid parental leave, knowing your rights and navigating the loopholes and complexities of the system can feel like it requires PhD. Full disclosure: numerous phone calls and hourlong wait times to determine my own eligibility for government wage replacement since returning to freelance has brought this writer to tears on more than one occasion. (I may have threatened to call the police on one representative. Their crime? Deliberately withholding information). My child is due in a week, and I’m still not totally clear on what, if anything, I’m entitled to, and how exactly to go about claiming it.
That’s where Lauren Wallenstein, Founder of Milk Your Benefits, a consultancy that helps expectant parents maximize their parental leave in the State of California, comes in. Wallenstein explains that expectant mothers often mistakenly believe that they are entitled to at least 12 weeks of leave. This is frequently not the case, due to varying factors including duration of employment, hours worked, employer size, etc. She says that many times confusion around leave is exacerbated because employers are themselves unclear of how to correctly explain and administer benefits due to lack of standardization. I’d venture to say many employers prefer their employees to remain in the dark and disempowered about these decisions.
“Expectant parents need to ask for written policies so that they can interpret the available benefits for themselves,” Wallenstein urges. “Never depend on what a friend or coworker tells you as the information is very often incorrect or is being incorrectly applied to your case. If human resources answers your leave questions, make sure you get them in writing and have HR provide the source documents that formed the basis of those answers. Most importantly, if something doesn't sound right to you, don't settle. Milk Your Benefits can help you sift through the paperwork so nothing is left on the table.”
“Expectant parents need to ask for written policies so that they can interpret the available benefits for themselves."
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In a Wall Street Journal Op Ed, YouTube CEO Susan Wojcicki argued that “Paid maternity leave is good for mothers, families and business.” As evidence, she cited that the rate at which new moms left Google fell by 50% in 2007 when the company increased paid maternity leave from 12 weeks to 18 weeks. She should know, as she was Google’s first employee to take maternity leave in 1999. This sentiment is echoed by Wallenstein, who says that “forward-thinking employers recognize that paid parental leave benefits act as a retention tool for employees.” Furthermore, she notes, “Parents who receive paid leave and who are physically and emotionally ready to return to work are more likely to feel a sense of loyalty to that employer and are less likely to leave their jobs. When an expectant parent gets the sense that the employer is encouraging a short leave, is being stingy with money, or is being less than helpful explaining benefits, it leaves a powerful and lasting bad taste in their mouth. Because what it suggests is a company ethos that doesn't value work/life balance.”
Until paid leave is mandated for all, the burden will continue to fall on business owners to implement change, start a dialogue, and set precedents. “The responsibility is on all of our shoulders, men and women alike who are in position of power as employers, to make the right decisions and to become more vocal about the subject of both maternity AND paternity leave,” says Richer Poorer’s Iva Pawling.
If doing what’s right for new parents and ultimately for your business isn’t enough to incentivize employers to step up to the plate, perhaps they’ll be motivated by the desire to avoid ending up as the target of a scathing Glassdoor review. When Donald Trump’s approach to maternity leave is a more progressive than yours, it’s perhaps time that you engage in a healthy dose of soul-searching. And while you’re at it, please remind yourself that before you were all up in the boardroom, you too were snuggled up in a cozy womb.
Jane Helpern is a freelance writer, copywriter, and founder of Jane Says Agency. She enjoys helping brands find their voice, writing about fashion and feminism, and walking-at-an-incline-with-wine™
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Gal on the Go: The Ultimate Boss Guide to Seattle
It's BOSS up there. And so happens to be the next stop for Create & Cultivate!
CREATE & INNOVATE in collaboration with Marriott Hotels
photo credit: Turkan Najar
It's home to Nordstrom, Microsoft, and Amazon. But there are also plenty of independent women making names for themselves in Seattle. It's nicknamed the Queen City after all.
And last year (before we even knew we were heading to Seattle for Create & Cultivate hosted on the Microsoft campus) we headed to the Pacific Northwest to stay at the newly renovated and modern Seattle Marriott Bellevue. It was chilly, but uncharacteristically sunny (and even made us consider making a move... and clearly a conference). Especially after hearing the stories of the three women below. Did the city live up to its sleepless status? Perhaps. But only because it's full of women, like the below, who are working so hard.
Read through and check out these ladies' stories and favorite spots in Seattle and then head to our conference page and nab a ticket for our upcoming conference!
ELLIE DINH, CO-FOUNDER, GIRLFRIEND COLLECTIVE.
When Ellie and her husband, Quang Dinh, decided to go into business together she knew it wouldn't be easy. "Usually you get some kind of separation," she shared with us the day we visited the start-up office in downtown Seattle. It's a co-working space with big windows, bright light, and a team of about 10. With her perfect blunt bob and dreamy office, it's not surprising that the co-founder explains, "I’ve always admired brands that have a consistency and “less is more” approach to their overall messaging and design, like Reformation, as well as ones that inspire community and engagement in the way that brands like Glossier do." She knows that design matters when it comes to messaging and creating Girlfriend's visual voice. But she also saw it as her "opportunity to inspire customers to learn more about where their clothes come from and how to shop responsibly." The incredibly comfortable and functional leggings are crafted from polyester made from recycled water bottles. To date, the company has diverted 6,000,000 post-consumer plastic water bottles from the landfill. But it's not only their green approach that got Girlfriend noticed.
Girlfriend Collective received attention when they soft launched with a promise of sending anyone a pair of leggings who signed up on the site. Yes, there was the goal of capturing emails, but they also wanted to capture people's attention. That they did, receiving over 10,000 orders.
Find out how the entrepreneur filled such a massive order and why she says, "Seattle has the advantage of being a few steps ahead in the tech world," below.
When you’re designing for women, what do you keep in mind? What’s the most important?
It’s so important to me that women feel amazing in not only what their wearing, but also in what they’re supporting as consumers. It goes hand-in-hand when we’re sourcing our ethical and eco fabrics and designing each silhouette. The intention of every design is to bring simplicity and femininity to the forefront, focusing on great design in a way that makes it possible for everyone to feel great in their body.
After a very successful “stunt,” how do you go about filling 10,000+ orders?
Lots and lots of long hours and a frightening amount of coffee. We (and by we I mean the 5 of us in the office) spent every day post-launch answering every question and email we received, making sure our fabric production was perfect, and even tweaking the design of our legging until the very first shipment went out.
From idea to first pair, how long did R&D take?
R&D was a full year. My husband and I had wanted to create a clothing brand together for awhile, but we didn’t seriously pursue it until the beginning of 2015. By early spring the actual concept for Girlfriend Collective took form, and we spent the following 9 months researching recycled yarns, fair-trade manufacturing, and every legging silhouette known to man (there are more than you’d guess). The process was more of a zig-zag than a straight line, and all our R&D ended up intersecting at the same time. We were sampling fits and recycled fabrics in parallel until we cracked the code for our “unicorn fabric” - polyester made from recycled water bottles.
And from first pair to launch, how long of a process was that? And what went into it?
We received our very first prototype around September 2016, and began to steamroll through many many variations of fits and fabrics. We wanted to find the perfect balance between a technical legging that was still minimal and classic for everyday use, and a legging that flattered every body type. Let me tell you, it was not easy! We spent roughly 8 months perfecting the design before we launched this past April, and even after that continued to tweak them until the first shipment was sent out in July.
What has been the hardest part of starting your own company?
I’m a perfectionist, and the hardest part of starting my own company was realizing no matter how careful you are or how much you prepare, the process is very messy and very much a journey. You have to dive into it and find that delicate balance between doing your best and being forgiving toward yourself. I’ve learned a lot about patience the past two years since we started, and had a few “everything bad that can happen, will happen” moments, but you realize that’s all part of it. Nothing worthwhile ever comes easy, you have to work really hard for it and get comfortable with a bit of chaos along the way.
"Nothing worthwhile ever comes easy; get comfortable with a bit of chaos."
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What is it about the Seattle start-up scene that makes sense for your company?
Seattle has an advantage in that it’s a few steps forward in the tech world, but still somewhat undiscovered in the fashion realm. The Pacific Northwest has a very specific aesthetic and culture, and we don’t exactly fit that mold, so it’s exciting to offer something new to west coast ladies that have east coast sensibilities. There aren’t a lot of brands that crack the Seattle fashion ceiling and we’re aiming to be one of them.
What is your favorite part about working in Seattle?
Seattle is a little big city. I’ve lived here 6 years and it didn’t take long to discover that the community here is incredibly tight knit and nurturing. Everyone knows and supports each other, especially in business. It’s also doesn’t hurt being 20 minutes away from both mountains and the ocean, even though we live and work in the heart of downtown.
Ellie's recommendations below:
Your favorite place to fuel you when you’re burning the midnight oil: My go-to for late night food is always a bowl of Pho Ga at Ba Bar.
Best place to head when you get off and need a stiff drink: Still Liquor or The Nest on the rooftop of the Thompson Hotel.
Or to hear the best live music: The Paramount
If someone could only take a ferry to ONE island, which would you recommend and why:
I went to Lummi Island last year with friends and loved it. I think it’s one of the smallest San Juan islands. It has a 5-minute ferry ride, one convenience store, and a “would be” Michelin star restaurant on it, Willows Inn - so basically everything I’d ever need if I was stranded on an island.
Best date night spot with your husband: Our date nights have turned into more of a ‘Saturday morning brunch’ situation, and we love going to either Oddfellows, Juicebox, or Tallulah's.
Tourist location that’s a guilty pleasure: I love Pike Place Market!
Tourist spot that you’ve never visited: The Space Needle.
Greatest workout you’ve ever done in Girlfriend Collective leggings: My first boxing class with some friends (at Gotham Gym, the last time I was in NYC) and it kicked my ass.
You have one of the best bobs we’ve ever seen in person. Who cuts it?: Thank you! I’ve seen both Evan and Adam at Antonio Salon, and they nail it every time.
ARAN GOYOAGA, FOUNDER, FOOD BLOGGER & AUTHOR OF SMALL PLATES & SWEET TREATS
It's fitting that Aran Goyoaga, twice over James Beard Award finalist, food blogger and fountain of gluten-free recipes, says that "everyone should take Instagram with a grain a salt."
Food has been a part of Aran's story from the beginning. As a child in the Basque region of Spain, "surrounded by pastry chefs," it never occurred to the now Seattle-based culinary mind behind Cannelle et Vanille, that baking would be her path as well. "My family encouraged me to go to university, travel the world, get a higher education and get away from the blue collar job that baking was," she shares. "When I was growing up cooking for a living did not have the same aspirational career perspective that it does today." She ended up going to university, where she studied business and economics. "It was only after I finished my studies, moved to the US and found myself so far away from my family that I realized that pastry was the one bond that kept me connected to my roots." Her first stop was Florida, where the professional pastry chef worked for a large hotelier. A job which taught her reigns and ropes of all aspects of the kitchen. She initially stopped working to stay at home and raise her son. But the kitchen called her back. And food became her gateway to photography. Her photos have been described as romantic, unfussy, and nostalgic. Many writers have described Aran in the same way.
Today, the mother of two, baker, food stylist, author and photographer of the cookbook Small Plates & Sweet Treats, stays grounded and connected to her heritage through cooking and baking. "I have always loved working with my hands," she adds.
We met up in her gorgeous photography studio by Pike Place Market to chat social media, building a brand, and how her works feeds her soul.
How do you decide what to show, what to keep private? And how to be/not be a brand?
I am not sure what connotation "to be a brand" has (it probably means different things to different people) but I don't necessarily identify myself with that term. I suppose that with every piece of work I choose to show the world through social media, I am establishing a style, a personal taste, an affinity to something, but I don't generally want to sell anything or push product on people. I engage in some advertising work that I relate to or products I might naturally use but honestly my goal is to develop personal content that has an emotional narrative so branding doesn't really fit into that so easily. My instagram account is a bit of a cinematic world view that I have. Visual narrative is what drives my work and I would say I focus very much on that aspect. Sure, what I show is part of my life: my friends, my children, the food we eat, the places I see, but it has a very specific filter and I am not trying to say that is everything my life is. Everyone should take instagram with a grain of salt.
After working for a large hotelier, what work lessons did you bring into your own business?
I loved working in a big team, especially in a company that has such high standards for service, but honestly, it made me realize that I love working for myself and making the kind of work that I want to do. I love the flexibility of working for myself despite the perils of instability.
Can you tell us a bit about the new project you’re working on and why making something that feeds your soul is important?
I spent big part of 2016 working on a new video series that explores my relationship with food, from my family roots to an eating disorder, to feeding the creative soul I never thought I had, to being open to the world and let go of a lot of the rigidity that ruled my life for so long. It is the manifestation that there is no beauty without imperfection. The series is called "A Cook's Remedy" and will be releasing the first few episodes early 2017 on the new site I am developing. I have produced the series with an incredible team of women in Seattle called Common Thread Creative. I am so excited to put it out into the world.
"There is no beauty without imperfection."
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You moved from Spain to South Florida and have settled in Seattle. What about the city feels like home?
Seattle reminds me a lot of the Basque Country where I grew up. It's a lot larger and more majestic than the landscape of my youth, but there is a similar quality to a lot of northern countries that make it feel like home. The rain, the green, the introspection... Seattle is a city that looks forward and inward and that is a perfect balance for me. Makes me feel safe.
Aran's recommendations below:
Favorite market to buy your ingredients: Ballard farmer's market on Sundays, especially between May and October.
Have a morning cup of coffee: There is so much great coffee in Seattle that it is hard to choose. I love the morning vibe at Oddfellows. It truly is the place to get inspired in Seattle. And The Fat Hen makes incredible lattes. I also love Porchlight Coffee and Records for the obvious reasons: Coffee and music. My two favorite things in the world.
Eat a delicious gluten-free meal: Again so many places. I am just going to name a few because one wouldn't be enough. The lamb burger with no bun and fries at Tallulah's, the roasted vegetables and Jersey salad at Delancey, anything at Sitka & Spruce and Whale Wins (so many gluten-free options), baked eggs at The Fat Hen, pho at Ba Bar, Juicebox for almost everything on the menu, tacos at Copal, London Plane for their papadum and salads, Stateside for amazing Vietnamese and the list goes on.
"Seattle is a city that looks forward and inward."
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Take your family out to dinner: Pho is the one thing we all agree on so Ba Bar is definitely our spot. Also El Camion which is a little taqueria in Ballard, especially in the summer. We are a family of simple tastes.
If you had to take a ferry to one island, which would it be and why: Vashon Island because that is where my dear friend Carolina lives and I love visiting her there.
Tourist spot in Seattle that you’ve never visited: The Underground Tour... I've heard it's interesting, but just creeps me out a bit.
Favorite spot in the city to sit and be still: That is the one thing that is abundant in Seattle. Just take a hike in Discovery Park, Lincoln Park, a walk around Greenlake.....all around us.
Best free entertainment in Seattle: Going to KEXP radio station and watching one of their live performances. The new space is incredible with La Marzocco coffee shop and Light in the Attic record store. It's close to my home and love spending time there.
PORTIA SMITH, FOUNDER & BLOGGER AT OBSESSED BY PORTIA
She's collaborated with General Motors, Uncommon Goods, and Whole Foods. And she's turned her blogging know-how into a role in PR.
For Portia Smith, the "obsessed" blogger behind her eponymous blog, Obsessed by Portia, having the PR career second allows the mom and content creator to "continually grow on a personal, professional, and creative level."
"It felt like a natural integration, since both involve proficiency in social media, networking, and writing. Brand promotion is a key aspect in blogging, which significantly mirrors a PR perspective - so it made sense to lean in towards the role. And I absolutely love it!" the Seattle-based blogger says.
We met up on Capitol Hill, and despite cold temps, Portia indulged in ice cream at Molly Moon's (as did many other Seattle residents that day) and braved the cold without her coat while shooting in the famous Rainbow Crosswalks. And it wasn't just an "anything for the shot," attitude. Portia was game for anything, yes. But the for the Pacific Northwest native, a sunny day in Seattle was a reason to celebrate.
We wanted to know how she manages kids, career, and what's on her current obsession list.
When you shoot an image for your Instagram/blog, what are three key components you keep in mind?
It’s important that my blog and Instagram have a professional, curated look. Three components I keep in mind are lighting, background, and consistency. In the past I’ve worked with a variety of photographers, but in order to maintain a seamless look - I’ve realized the value in working with just 1 or 2 that fit my style exactly. Photos have so much power in engagement, it’s an aspect that deserves undivided attention.
The old work/life balance question— how do you make it work? As a mom and business woman what tricks have you developed?
I’ll be the honest, the struggle is real…and it’s a daily conscious effort to reign in what’s really important, and what can wait. Creating lists of priority have been helpful, especially since I’m a visual person. I have a running Google spreadsheet with current projects, deadlines, details, etc. It helps to have everything in one place - to ease the mind from overload - and when i get something done, there’s nothing greater than crossing it off! Another helpful aspect of being a working mom is having an incredible village of friends and family. They have been the ultimate resource in my success - knowing I have the flexibility with both my schedule and caregivers has freed up the anxiety which is commonly associated as mom guilt. And lastly, realizing you just can’t do it all. This is a hard one, but the ability to say no to things that don’t bring you joy - that’s the golden ticket. As women, we often say yes to everything and that needs to stop. Your sanity will thank you.
"As women, we often say yes to everything and that needs to stop."
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What are you currently obsessing over?
I created Obsessed by Portia to share all things I’m obsessed with. This varies across fitness, fashion, beauty, motherhood, travel, etc. My top obsessions right now include trying out new workouts, podcasts, audio books, home design, and travel.
What are you looking forward to in 2017?
International travel…with my kids.
Portia's recommendations below:
Favorite spot in the city to grab a coffee: Seattle Coffee Works! A great location near the iconic Pike Place Market, paired with a beautiful, artisan-style espresso - makes for the perfect coffee date.
Best spot to take your kids: Seattle Center! On rainy days, we love to explore the Seattle Children’s Museum, Pacific Science Center or Museum of Pop Culture. When the sun’s out, we head to the Artists at Play playground or wander around the 74-acre Seattle landmark, making a stop at the International Fountain.
Tourist spot that’s a guilty pleasure: Dinner at the Space Needle. A definite must for tourists, but typically saved for special occasions with the locals.
Tourist spot that you’ve never visited: Seattle Japanese Garden - a 3.5-acre stroll.
Your favorite spot in the city to sit and be still: Washington Park Arboretum in the Spring! Nothing beats sitting on a bench amongst the cherry blossoms!
Grab an afternoon bite with a girlfriend: Plum Bistro on Capitol Hill - The best vegan restaurant in Seattle which features only local, sustainable and organic ingredients. Perfect for a healthy PNW lunch!
The best place to take a drive: Head to Alki Beach in West Seattle!
If you had to pick ONE island to head out to and why: We have a beach house on Camano Island, so that will always be my favorite island in the PNW. It’s about an hour North of Seattle and has great beaches, cabins available to rent, and a fantastic State Park!
Best place to grab dessert: Molly Moon’s Handmade Ice Cream! (Pictured above.) The seasonal flavors are my favorite!
Your wine/date spot: Circadia just opened up downtown Seattle and has the most romantic vibe! They brought back old-school hollywood glamour, with gorgeous chandeliers, luxe textiles, and an impeccable dining experience.
Be sure to check out the entire Gal-on-the-Go series in partnership with Marriott Hotels. Over the last year we've chatted with female entrepreneurs in San Francisco, Charlotte, Miami, Los Angeles, Atlanta, and Seattle.
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How One Famous Seattle Creative Totally Changed the Art Game
Blowing up in more ways than one.
Blowing up in more ways than one.
Jihan Zencirli, the creative genius turned balloon boss @geronimoballons, behind the colorful art installations that billow up buildings and blow up your Instagram feed, found out she was good at balloons in 2011.
A “tad lonely child” Jihan says that she spent a majority of her youth on the floor next to her bed, with a pen, journal, magazines, and three-ring binders equipped with plastic sleeves. “I spent hours pulling out articles and images,” she shares, “filing them into the binder and making lists and detailed notes of the things I wanted to do in my life, and the specific year I wanted to achieve them by.”
It was this early act of planning and dreaming that set her in motion. “I never made the goal of being a balloon artist,” she says. “But I did plan and yearn and dream for an adult life of travel, red shoes, late bedtimes, being independent, making a living by using my hands to create, and,” she adds, “dating Jimmy Fallon.”
The artist acknowledges herself as her biggest challenge, in part stiffened by the need to plan. And like the rest of us she's not “above saying in bed, trolling the internet to leave snarky comments about past purchases on Amazon when I’m down in the dumps.”
Her first business failure came young. At 10 the budding entrepreneur went to Tokyo for the summer and attempted to sell origami tulips door-to-door. “It was perhaps my most useful life experience of humbly putting myself out into the world and waiting to see if the world smiled back.” They may not have smiled then, but her 80k followers on Instagram are certainly smiling now. They smile at her work, which needs to be seen to be believed, and her all caps captions that have little to do with the photo, but everything to do with being human. It's the perfect presentation juxtaposition: here is a magical work that transports your imagination and here is this small, but meaningful fact about me. "WORST THING THAT EVER HAPPENED TO MY RELATIONSHIP WITH MY MOTHER:" she wrote on January 3rd, "DECEMBER 2000, READING MY JOURNAL AND FINDING OUT THAT MY SECRET BF TYLER CHRISTIANSEN SQUEEZED ONE OF MY BOOBS."
Her work also nabbed the attention of one particularly smiley social presence.
In 2011, Joy Cho of Oh Joy! blew up her balloon spot, sharing an image of Jihan’s work with her followers. Jihan calls it “a bit of luck.” a bit of an understatement. “A yo-yo designer and creative director” until that point, Jihan had been steadily creating for decades. The helium hasn't gone to her head. "Overnight," she says, "I had a PayPal account of $30k from people who had seen the images, traveled to my website and clicked 'buy now.'" It was ready, set, Geronimo.
She often falls asleep in her day’s clothes, “sometimes I don’t even take off my shoes,” she says, joking it might be her secret to success. Actually, “yes,” she decides, “I’m going to swear by it.” This lack of habit or ritual, though at variance with the planner in her (in both the binder and balloon sense), is in harmony with the side of her that knows reinvention is an important part of her path. “It’s natural to need change,” she says, “and it’s healthy to create endings.”
"It's natural to need change and it's healthy to create endings."
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Some of those plans include buying back her great-grandparents’ home in Seattle, renovating it “to look identical to how it was in the ‘60s and ‘70s with shag carpet and green walls.” Traveling through Nigeria to “study the new generation of musicians influenced by afrobeat, afro juju and yo-pop, waka.” Acquiring the aforementioned red shoes also remains a priority. Whether she’ll sleep with them on remains as up in the air as her creations.
She finds time to head to Korean Spa and “periodically recalibrate as needed,” having learned that the trick to being a good planner means learning to “sit back and enjoy watching as it all plays out.” That includes “being at peace with with myself in every aspect, including the most vulnerable and taboo— which is being naked.” (See above note about Korean Spa.) “Nakedness is a metaphor for me,” the artist shares, “it’s about feeling no need to hide.” It’s the kind of exposure she used to hide from, now feeling like “I’m at the end of a 31 year yawn, and am relaxed and at peace with everything in myself, imperfect as it is.”
And while we love the magic she creates, the fancy it inspires, how far and away and up she can take us, this might be our favorite thing about her: “In the car and shower, I practice my impersonations. If I had more time, I'd sit in front of a mirror working out all four characters of a 1990s Ovaltine commercial, perfecting each facial movement and expression.”
Arianna Schioldager is Editor-in-Chief at Create & Cultivate. You can follow her @ariannawrotethis.
Jihan AKA GERONIMO will be joining us in her hometown of Seattle for Create & Cultivate Seattle on September 9th. Nab a ticket now, before they sell out (they always do).
This article was originally part of our Create & Cultivate 100 List created in collaboration with KEDS, you can view the full Entrepreneur List Here.
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The Stress-Free Way to Refresh Your Work Wardrobe
Plus, some easy shopping tips.
As working women, we understand how difficult it can be to fit everyday activities into our schedules. We’re way too busy for leisurely activities such as shopping, but does that really mean we should miss out? After all, every woman wants (and deserves) to look and feel fabulous in her clothes! We should all be able to stay on top of the latest trends and update our wardrobes whether it be for in the office or play.
So, what are our options when there’s no time to peruse endless racks at the mall, camp out at the next trending sample sale, or spend a few hours scrolling through your favorite online shop? You turn to the next alternative, and that’s shopping right at home with your own personal Stylist (and a few of your best girlfriends, of course!). Yes, you read that right. Think you can’t afford a personal Stylist—what if I said you could get one for free? Yes, you read that right.
Maybe you’ve never heard of cabi before: Cabi is the solution to the frustration and inconvenience of shopping. It offers a unique “pop-up boutique” shopping experience in the comfort of the home, where a cabi Stylist provides personalized styling, and presents a designer collection to you and your friends. Your Stylist will curate looks for you based on your lifestyle, help ensure you get just the right fit, and show you what works and doesn’t work for your body shape. The result? A fun, stress-free shopping experience surrounded by friends, with a trusted Stylist guiding your choices.
So, what’s a girl to do when she needs a new blazer for work? Find a cabi stylist near you, and get your office attire on point.
How It Works
At a cabi Fashion Experience, a Stylist presents the seasonal cabi collection (usually 80-100 pieces in a varied size range), sharing educational fashion and styling tips all along the way. After the presentation, you can try on the clothes, while the Stylist works with you on fit and helps put together looks based on your needs—this part of the experience is personal to you! And of course, no shopping experience is complete without the trusted fashion advice of your girlfriends—as you all try on your favorite pieces, you’re able to share thoughts on each other’s selections and to encourage each other to step out of your comfort zones.
Becoming a Stylist
Becoming a cabi Stylist yourself might be something to consider, too! Maybe you’re looking to work remotely or pick up a side hustle for some extra cash, or maybe you’ve recently suffered a job loss, want to get involved in fashion, or need a little bit of a creative outlet. Whatever your situation—cabi offers a simple business model that balances the realities of a busy woman’s life, while having very real earning potential, building relationships, and serving other women through her business working as a fashion Stylist.
Cabi has created thousands of opportunities for women to have a relevant, liberating and profitable career. You can find out more information on how to become a cabi Stylist yourself here.
Tips from cabi Design Team
How to dress for your shape: A huge part of nailing down the best work wardrobe for you is to dress for your body type. Determine if your shape is triangle, rectangle, diamond, hourglass, pear, etc. You can find a full breakdown on dressing for your shape here.
The perfect fall color palette: According to the styling experts at Cabi, there are three colors that should be on your radar this fall: red, gold, and currant. The shades are all perfect for the changing season and are complementary to one another.
Day-to-Night looks: Find some multi-functional pieces that can be worn from from day to night. A lot of us working women have a busy schedule outside of the office too, and that involves a lot of after-work plans. Rather than stressing over an outfit change, find pieces that can work for plenty of different occasions. The perfect example would be a jacket that works well with a dress but also just as well with a pair of jeans.
Rather than experiencing another shopping nightmare, shop the cabi way!
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6 Things You Should Do If You Seriously Want To Buy A House in Two Years
Like, seriously though.
Photo credit: Brittany Ambridge for Surf Shack
Fact. Millennials represent the largest generational group of homebuyers, according to the National Association of Realtors 2017 Trends report. So if you’ve got #Homegoals and aspire to join the club of homeowners in the foreseeable future, it’s definitely within your reach but not without having a strategic plan to get you there. Here are six things you should do right now if you’re seriously looking to buy a house in the next couple of years.
1. Get your credit score right:
When it’s time to shop for a home loan, the best interest rates will go to those with the highest credit score. Make sure your credit score is in its best shape and review your credit report to make sure nothing looks out of the ordinary. When you’re closer to shopping for a home loan, avoid making any huge purchases (ie. buying a new car or new furniture for your dream house) that could affect your score at a pivotal time.
2. Get preapproved:
The first step in the process is getting an honest look at what you can really afford. That starts with meeting with a lender and getting pre-approved for a home loan. You can start talking to a lender a year out from when you you’re ready to buy to start understanding what you’ll need to provide to qualify for a loan. I’d recommend talking to at least three lenders and shop around to compare each rate they offer. Researching a lender is just as important if not more important than researching the type of house you want. In a competitive market like we’re in today, most sellers won’t even look at an offer without a buyer’s pre-approval letter attached. The better prepared and researched you are to understand what you can actually afford, the more leverage you’ll have as a buyer.
3. Get smart about your finances:
If you’re seriously committed to buying a home in the next couple of years, it’s time to get smart about your spending. Start a special savings account just for your down payment fund and set it on auto to contribute monthly to it. Having money saved for a down payment and closing costs is typically the largest barrier to entry in buying a home and most people don’t know that there are over 400+ Down Payment Assistance Programs in California that they can easily apply for and essentially get free money. Start researching and see if you qualify.
Photo credit: Brittany Ambridge for Surf Shack
4. Be realistic
You may not get everything on your wish list so it’s important to prioritize your list of can’t-live-withouts. Most people are drawn to homes that are completely move-in ready but sometimes there are gems to be found with homes that need a little fixing that you can really make uniquely yours. Don’t max out your budget and spend every dollar of your savings on your dream home. With homeownership comes closing costs, added bills, and maintenance expenses that you want to make sure you have money leftover in savings.
5. Have an open mind
Searching for the perfect home in your perfect neighborhood in your ideal price point can get tricky, so it’s good to have an open mind throughout the search process. Work with a real estate agent that’s local to the area and well connected who might introduce you to a nearby area you may not have thought to look in. Try to look past things that can be easily changed or renovated over time like fixtures, paint color and even floorplan and consider those factors that you can’t change like location, school district and lot size when making your decision.
6. Think about the future
When making the step to buy a home, do think about your future plans and whether you see yourself living in that home for at least the next two years. After living in a home as your primary residence for a minimum of two years, you’ll be able to take advantage of the capital gains exemption which lets you deduct up to $250,000 of your capital gains from tax (up to $500,000 for married couples) when you are ready to sell. Most people don’t live in one house all their life so as you make renovations or updates to your home, it’s good to keep the future resale value of your home in the back of your mind when making design choices. A good practice is to keep track of how much you’ve spent on renovations and improvements over time which could all be deductible to your home’s original cost basis when it’s time to move on and sell.
(and p.s. editor's note: if you're stressing that you can't afford to decor your home-- yes, we just made that a verb-- please check out C&C fave Emily Henderson's post on how to do Cali-casual look on a budget. She breaks down the realness here.)
Audrey Leoncio is a Los Angeles real estate agent with Compass who’s lived all over LA’s east, west and downtown neighborhoods. Have #homegoals or questions about buying a home? Email me at audrey.leoncio@compass.com
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Wait, What?! How This Founder Is Applying the Tinder Model to Motherhood
Motherhood used to be about wiping, not swiping.
We're not going to mince words. The solo dolo doldrums of new motherhood is real. Too real. We'd say it's almost harder to find your #momsquad than to master breastfeeding (which, power to all breastfeeding mamas and your boobs; it's no walk in the park).
This thinking is exactly what drove Michelle Kennedy, the former deputy CEO of European dating app Badoo, to develop Peanut, a social app aimed at platonically connecting mothers who feel isolated, alone, and often cut off from friends and their old lives. It's a pain point for many women (which means, there's a solve). "When you're up for a 2am feed and your friends are just leaving the club, those feelings can compound and you wonder 'What does Michelle the mommy look like? Do I have to change?'” the founder shares. The answer the mom and business woman arrived at was no. You certainly don't have to change. But that doesn't mean you have to feel alone.
Taking what she learned from the dating app space, Michelle applied to the same thinking to motherhood. As a generation armed with a fleet of apps at our disposal, from transportation to shopping, to dating and streaming music, Michelle, who was the first of her friends to give birth in 2013, decided that moms "should be able to have that too." And it didn't have to be through a patronizing or unsexy product. "I really learned a lot from working in the dating industry," she says. Including, a unique understanding of how, why, and when people use social apps. It's why the app includes a poll feature and a scheduling feature, making it easier for moms to meet up-- which is highly encouraged.
The founder says Peanut is not meant as substitution for grabbing coffee with a mom friend in person, but rather, the point is "break down the barriers to make it easier to have the conversation." For Michelle that means any conversation. "Yes, sometimes it is not all roses when you become a mommy and that is OK. It's safe to say that. It won’t make you a bad mom and no one is going to judge you. And sometimes you drop plates and you feel like the worst mom in the world or employee, or partner. Whatever it is we can keep having those conversations and it is all OK."
Peanut is the barrier to entry for many moms who are too anxious to approach strangers in the park. When she became a new mom, Michelle says, "I could never approach those groups of women who looked like they really have it together and like they were all so close. I couldn't put myself out there in case I got turned down. I used to mentally exhaust myself, as I judged them thinking about them judging me."
She recalls a bad experience in a Starbucks when her own son was tiny. She saw a woman who looked like she had it together and so Michelle gathered her courage and asked if they might want to get together. "She then said to me, 'You know what I’m so busy at the moment I don’t want to take your number incase I never get back to you.' I was so traumatized by this. So I thought is there a way to erase all of this and make it easy?"
"Sometimes you drop plates and you feel like the worst mom in the world...it is all OK."
Tweet this.
It's also why Peanut uses the double opt-in model favored by dating apps. "You have to think about a woman and the position she's in and how rejection would feel-- especially if it's her and her child. It's one thing for you to reject me for a date, but if you reject me and my baby, that's a whole different ballgame." Michelle insists that the way Peanut works protects "your dignity and your pride. You can put yourself out there first and swipe right. The other mom will never know unless they swipe right on you too."
Though meeting a mom through an app might initially feel impersonal, it's the way we operate. And in this case, Michelle insists that a picture is worth a thousand words. "If you see another woman's profile, it is never about her picture. You are looking for the clue in her picture. Like is she wearing hiking boots, is that part of who she is, or is she eating food, where is she eating, what is she eating? You are always looking for those social cues, that look and acknowledgment that says 'let's play next to each and play together.'"
She also insists that, "Anything we do on our phones has to be an extension of what we are doing in our every day lives, otherwise we aren’t going to use it." And using it women are. After all, we all get by with a little help from our tech.
Follow Peanut on IG here. Photo credit: Peanut
Feel like sharing your struggles as a new mom? Comment below. We got you.
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C&C Classifieds Nº43: House of Shameless, Wedding Wire, Saje & more
Stand out from the pack.
When you look into your future what do you see? Corner office? Traveling the world? A book deal?
The JOB is out there, but you have to put in the work. Luckily, we've covered some of the ground for you, sourcing jobs that will take you where you want to go. Enjoy C&C Classifieds No. 43. Go after it today.
WeddingWire, Washington, DC
House of Shameless, Los Angeles
Of A Kind, New York, NY
Saje, New York and New Jersey
This Is Ground, Los Angeles
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Actress & Director Zoe Lister-Jones Just Took on Hollywood in a Major Way
She's a bit of a Wonder Woman herself.
Zoe Lister-Jones does not drink coffee. In fact, the writer, director, actress, and producer of Band Aid, her new indie film, says “I don’t drink any caffeine.” If you rattled by this (what, how, why, how?) you’re not alone. But there’s a pretty simple reason.
“I never really started,” Lister-Jones shares. “I was a barista in high school at a coffee shop. I opened the shop one day at 5am and drank about six shots of espresso and got so violently ill that I’ve never gone back.” Espresso barfs aside, she still has her human share of the 4pm slump like the rest of us. But java does not jive with the NYU Tisch grad. Like a true artist, Zoe says, “I just suffer through it.”
Luckily, the only suffering in her new movie is that of the protagonist couple tortured by all of the things that torture married couples: Dishes, blowjobs, banality.
In Band Aid we’re witness to the world of Anna (Lister-Jones) and Ben (Adam Pally), a married pair hanging on by a pinky promise and some vows. Everything is out of tune, so the duo attempts to salvage their relationship by starting a band called the Dirty Dishes, turning all of their fights into songs.
The industry vet actress (did you know three-year-old Zoe starred in her mother’s short film?) and writer (her 2009 work for Breaking Upward was possibly the inspiration for Gwyneth Paltrow’s “conscious uncoupling,”) not only took on her first solo directorial role with Band Aid, but she challenged herself further.
Band Aid employed an all-female crew. From producer Natalia Anderson, director of photography Hilary Spera, and a team of female art directors, camera operators, electricians, sound editors— the WHOLE squad was women. Brooklyn Decker, who also stars in the film, told NPR, “Let me tell you, the efficiency on that set was unparalleled. These women are like, I have families to get home to. I have to feed my child at 6 o'clock. I've got to clean my house when I get home. Let's get this shit done, you know?”
As a first time director, Zoe understood that women face certain double-standards. “I think there was a part of me that was looking for as supportive an artistic community as possible.” She’s quick to clarify that she has “wonderful working relationships with a lot of men,” but acknowledges the female crew, “definitely shifted the energy on set in a way that was palpable and impacted the product for the better. The energy on set, it did feel more intimate. It was a really calm, quiet, and supportive energy that allowed for us to go to deeper places in some ways.”
She mentions the physical intimacy in the film. “As an actress, I felt my most free in those scenes to not be encountering the male gaze.” Others on crew and cast were quick to agree.
“I think what was so exciting every day was that as new actors came to set, immediately they all wanted to talk about the energetic shift that they were experiencing. And as the all-female set had normalized for those of us who had been on set for days or weeks, it was cool to get a fresh perspective on it.”
She also loved getting feedback from Pally, whom Zoe says was often the only male on set. “He now says he only wants to work with predominantly female crews or at least to push for more female crews. The decks are stacked against us. Until there is more equity you have to put more focus on it.”
She says, “I think as women we have to walk a tenuous tightrope. We have to be fearless in a lot of ways and lean into our confidence, especially in the workplace, but we also have to play the game because we also are still living in a patriarchy.”
Which brings up the fact that it’s not just Hollywood. Zoe is aware that the inequity exists across all industries (and is quick to praise Brooklyn Decker and Finery “that she’s moving into the tech space, especially as a woman.”)
Zoe claims that the idea that we’ve moved past any issues or injustices is the most dangerous flaw that continues to feed into these broken systems. “It does require such hyper-vigilance because we all have to confront our own biases every day. It requires so much self-awareness and awareness of others in a way that can be irritating to people. People want to continue on with their habits and way of life-- it’s hard for anyone to shift their lifestyle. We all get really stuck in our habits, especially when those habits have gone unchecked for so long. It requires work on everyone’s part.” For Zoe, putting in the work beyond the words is where change occurs.
“In Hollywood, when it comes to the gender disparity, the number of female directors and crew members has actually gotten worse in the last few years. We can talk about it, and talking about it is important, but so is walking the walk.” It’s exactly why making a movie this way was so important to her.
The LA Times agreed, taking a big stance with their headline: “Zoe Lister-Jones made 'Band Aid' with an all-female crew. Your move, Hollywood.” “That headline shook me. It’s an amazing headline. It’s something that people in the industry definitely read. “And,” the director adds, “it’s scary to be the face of that headline.”
Her indie film also happened to open the same weekend as Patty Jenkins’ superhero box office triumph, Wonder Woman. “It’s been an incredible moment in history to even be a small part of,” Zoey says. “The fact that we opened on the same weekend, it wasn’t something any of us really thought about, but to be in conversation with what Patty Jenkins and Wonder Woman mean in the grand scheme of things and what Band Aid means in the grand scheme of things is really cool. It’s nice to see it all working together.”
Guess she doesn’t need caffeine— she’s a bit of a Wonder Woman herself.
Arianna Schioldager is Editor-in-Chief at Create & Cultivate. You can follow her @ariannawrotethis.
Band Aid is currently playing in New York City and Los Angeles and will open in Chicago and other major cities on Friday, June 16.
Photos: Zoe Lister-Jones/Band Aid
Photo Credits: Mister Lister Films
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Forget Your #SadDeskSalad: This Week Do This Instead
Hey you lean, green big-brained machine.
Eating greens makes green. Seriously. Your brain and body are fueled by the vitamins, and antioxidant-rich, superfoods you put in your body. And the more productive/creative/boss you are, the better your career.
Part of getting your life in order is making sure that you eat lunch. Every. Single. Day. People always talk about the benefits of eating breakfast, but that lunchtime slump is no joke. A healthy lunch will keep your energy up (yup!!) and concentration on point.
But you don’t have to pack a sad desk salad.
Get your lunch in order with a Mason Jar Salad. Don’t know how? Well we checked in with our healthy friends at organicgirl to get some tips on how to pack a super smart mason jar salad for lunch to help you eat well, be well and dominate your work week.
Order is the word of the day.
You keep your inbox in order. Same goes for your mason jar salad.
First things first, fill the bottom of your jar with a fresh, delicious salad dressing. This ensures that your salad doesn’t get soggy as you charge through morning meetings and conference calls. organicgirl has so many delicious options. Our favorites include: Kale Parmesan (which gives you the double dose of putting greens on your greens), Lemon Agave (which is the only the only fresh vinaigrette on the market made with an entire lemon and touch of blue agave nectar), or get a little funky with White Cheddar, because everyone loves a hearty treat sometimes (especially when that treat is only 60 calories per 2 tablespoons).
Next, add in a grain or a protein, like farro, which is high in fiber, protein, and is a good source of antioxidants. On this layer, you could also toss in ingredients that taste yummy after marinating. Think: apples, radishes, celery! The crunchy bits.
Next come your fixings: Nuts, dried fruits, and cheese nibbles. Anything you want to stay dry before you shake up your jar (and shake off your crazy morning).
The following ingredients will help boost that brain.
Blueberries. Toss blueberries into a Mason Jar Salad (you can add these last to keep them from getting smashed) for a high dose of antioxidants and phytochemicals.
Beets. They’ll give your salad a little sweet as well as improve blood flow to the brain with their naturally-occurring nitrates.
Walnuts. Almonds are often credited as the go-to desk snack, but overlooked walnuts (that also kind of look like mini brains) are full of omega-3s. Your brain needs this high-quality fat to function properly. So go nuts.
Finally, top it all with the leafy greens. organicgirl has so many options when it comes to rad leafy greens and when it comes to salads you know it’s all about that (leafy green) base.
Leafy greens contain many benefits that you might already know, but were you aware that kale, spinach, and the newest organicgirl salad, butter, plus! are rich in iron? Studies have shown that an iron-deficiency affects your learning, memory, and attention.
Give it an A+
Butter Plus is rich in iron for your memory and attention!
Or that leafy greens are good for gut health? Studies have shown that good gut health boosts your energy levels and improves your mood and mental health!
Kelly LeVeque, Health Coach, Holistic Nutritionist and founder of Be Well by Kelly, says “I have a personal goal to eat greens at every meal and recommend my clients do the same. Leafy greens are loaded with significant levels of vitamin A, C, K and B6, folate, magnesium and zinc, they are a superstar for gut health because they contain sulfoquinovose, a sugar that feeds healthy gut bacteria and fiber to promote detoxification and they are my secret weapon for glowing skin. I don't go a day without my Fab Four Smoothie, my formula includes a handful of greens in every morning smoothie – organicgirl’s SUPERGREENS are my favorite.”
Want an extra boost of protein? The sweet pea greens from organicgirl are also a great source of plant based protein - packing 5 grams of protein per package. Protein is great for keeping concentration, focus and energy levels up. Helping you say goodbye to that post lunch slump!
Personally, we’d opt for: I heart baby kale (to make sure you kale your afternoon pitch) or Super Spinach, which blends baby spinach, with bok choy and baby kale, to create a trifecta of the top nutritional greens to help you knock your day out of the park.
Here’s a recipe with organicgirl SUPERGREENS to help get you started – your career will thank you.
Image Source: organicgirl and @kirstensansom.
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Finally, This Major Blogger Is Launching a Solution for This *Hush Hush* Beauty Issue
Say hello to Megababe status.
photo credit: 12ish Style
Boob sweat? Thigh chafe? Raise your hand if you’ve been there. Yeah, us too. And it’s why megababe Kate Sturino of 12ish Style is launching her Megababe product line.
Determined to deal with the not-so-chic, but oh so relatable parts of fashion, Kate developed Megababe Thigh Rescue ($14) to deal with the issue. Forget men’s products. Forget rubbing Vaseline on your body. The fashion blogger took matters in her own hands.
The deodorant-like stick, which is available for pre-order now, starts shipping on June 26th. Crafted with ingredients like aloe, grape seed oil to promote collagen production, lime oil for healing purposes, and pomegranate seed extract to protect the skin, it is a toxin-free formula that will keep skin happy, hydrated, and chafe-free. While you’re at it, Bust Dust, which is set to launch mid-July, is a ultrafine, 100% natural powder. Kate calls it the “final word on boob sweat,” because “talc is nasty stuff.”
We caught up with Kate to talk the sweaty motivation and why this is product you’ll want to pull out of your Chanel bag.
Why launch a product line?
I have been dealing with thigh chafe forever! And yet judging by the anti-chafe products out there, chafing seems to be reserved for men and athletes. I was sick of toting a men’s stick around in my handbag, and even worse was having to pull it out in front of people. Even though some of what’s out there does work, a lot of it is full of toxins and none of it is designed for me to pull out of my Chanel bag! And I was done wearing bike shorts under skirts -- the last thing anyone wants on an 80 degree day is another layer!
All I wanted was a non-toxic anti-chafe stick that would make me feel cute and not embarrassed. And year after year I couldn’t find it, so I decided to make it myself.
Tell us about Megababe?
Megababe was born out of a personal need for cute solutions to not-so-cute issues like thigh chafe and boob sweat. Start asking around and will you discover how many women of different shapes and sizes actually deal with these “hush hush” things. So many! I don’t know how or why there came to be a stigma around these very normal issues, but Megababe is here to say there’s nothing embarrassing about your thighs rubbing together or your boobs sweating on a hot day. We’re going to take care of it for you so you can get out there and live your life!
"Megababe is here to say there’s nothing embarrassing about your boobs sweating on a hot day."
Tweet this.
Where can we buy it?
Exclusively at megababebeauty.com ; IG: @Megababe
There you have it. Sweaty girls unite.
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Exclusive Photos: Our CEOs Home Tour + Your Chance To Win a Total Living Room Makeover!
A total dream.
For the past 6 months, I took on a side hustle to C&C, full on home renovation. Is this for the faint of heart? No. Did I know what I was getting into? Absolutely not. Was it worth it? You bet ya! Over and over again people will tell you that real estate is the best investment and as such, I wanted to make smart moves with money I saved. My dear friend, Lyndsay Siegel, runs a home renovation company called The Tradecraft. She told me that the best real estate in LA is the fixer-upper market. After nearly one year of looking, we found our fixer. That's when the work started and we enlisted an army of amazing brands and partners to help us bring it to life. Here are the final results (as photographed by Monica Wang) and some of the tips and tricks we learned along the way. Best part? Myself Havenly and CB2 are teaming up to give you a living room makeover, scroll to the bottom for details! (Plus click here to read how their VP of Marketing creates the company's swoon-worthy appeal.)
The Entryway
Our house was a 1920s semi Spanish Style home. Our first big move (and investment) was adding the Spanish style roof! Once we nailed down the roof tile color, we teamed up with Dunn Edward on the paint colors (Which is one of the hardest things to pick out!). I definitely recommend doing test swabs as some of the initial colors I picked weren't working. We ended up using Vanilla Shake for the exterior and Misty hillside for the accent color. Lighting Fixture is by Cedar & Moss.
The Living Room
This is one of my favorite rooms in the home. We teamed up with CB2 and Havenly to design the space. The Space was beautiful to begin with, featuring an A -frame ceiling from the '20s, but the floorpan was a little trickier as the room was super long. My friends at Havenly helped re-jigger things to make it flow perfectly and I couldn't be happier. We added brass shelving which serves as our own kind of "built-ins" plus the couch is beyond comfy!
Feeling Inspired?
Download the credit list for all items pictured
The Guest Room
We wanted to make the guest room feel boho, chic, and comfortable but also wanted to combine some of the items we already had in our house into the mix so the results were a super eclectic mix with brands ranging from Design Within Reach to Target Style. The centerpiece of the room is the photography by Rick Rodney, framed by Framebridge.
The Kitchen
The heart of the home! The kitchen was the biggest overhaul we did-- we literally gutted walls, appliances, you name it! We teamed up with Kohler on the sink and faucet and used Cb2's Brass Hex Handles for the cabinets. The countertops are quartz by Cambria Quartz in the Torquay pattern.
Feeling Inspired?
Download the credit list for all items pictured.
The Master Bedroom
My husband urged me to skew slightly masculine when it came to the master bedroom. We paired High Fashion Home's Hansen Bed and Hauser side table with navy and shibori accents including our wall, which is painted "Parisian Night" another Dunn Edward paint.
The Master Bathroom
The master bathroom was a fun challenge as it was a larger room that we wanted to strategically fill, but not crowd. The main focal point is the tile which is Fireclay diamond tile with dark grout. The pattern is so mesmerizing and when paired with a vintage rug and gold West Elm pots it's the perfect minimally chic moment.
The Guest Bathroom
We had a little fun with the guest bathroom! We designed the room based on the wallpaper we chose from Hygge & West (Strike / Mist in collaboration with Heath Ceramics), the vanity is from Kohler as are the faucets and towel bar. The mirror is from West Elm and the tile is by Fireclay.
Feeling Inspired?
Download the credit list for all items pictured.
The Home Office
Notably cleaner than my actual office (LOL) I wanted to use this room to create a small little work sanctuary in the home for those weekends where I have to crank out some emails! The color palette was focused around black and gold which was perfect for CB2's collection. The wall hanging is from Target Style and part of the Nate Berkus collection.
The Outdoor Space
Living in Southern California, we had to take advantage of the outdoor space. One of the best hacks I learned from a friend was using the corrugated metal fencing -- not only is it cheap and durable but it looks amazing! Further we wanted to add some green as we don't have true grass and olive trees are a great way to bring shade and greenery with very little upkeep.
The Giveaway
We are teaming up with our friends at CB2 to give you your dream living room makeover which means $2,000.00 worth of CB2 goodies and a design consultation with the team from Havenly. Enter to win below ( US Residents Only), winner announced July 1st, 2017 and will be contacted via email. All rules and restrictions apply. See terms & conditions.
Feeling Inspired?
Download the credit list for all items pictured.
Create Your Own Dream Job: Meet the Woman Who Taught Herself Graphic Design
And entirely turned her life around.
photo credit: Anelise Salvo & Hey Mama
Anelise Salvo not only left an unfulfilling career behind to follow her dream of becoming a graphic designer, but she is completely self-taught. So don't ditch out on your dreams quite yet. Remember what mom used to say? Where there's a will, there's a way.
Anelise is here to tell you it is possible and breaking it down in six easy steps that anybody can follow. Her story below.
Like most people, I received an undergraduate degree in a field I ended up doing nothing with post-graduation. I studied Political Science, and while it enchanted me with dreams and aspirations of saving the world while living in a United Nations compound in a remote village in a far-away land, “real life” hit me with student loans that needed tending to that the non-profit world was, needless to say, not cut out for. I took any job I could get for the majority of my mid-twenties just to make some significant dent in my education-turned-debt. I learned a lot, but most importantly, I learned what I wanted from a career and what I could not stand another day of. I needed to be able to pick my ideal location and have independence and I would never again work for a cause I had no passion for.
Flash forward to today. I own a boutique graphic design studio, specializing in crafting custom WordPress websites and designing brands for outrageously superb humans and I’m happy to report I. LOVE. MY. JOB.
You may be wondering, how?! How did I go from knowing literally nothing about design to running my own design business. Well ladies …I’m here to share what I did and how you can do it too:
1. Absorb: Learn as much as you possibly can and seek out the masters
A: Start by learning the founding principles of design – what makes good design, what is the history? This is vital to understanding where graphic design is today and it’s also critically important to know the rules first, so then you can break them later (not the other way around). Good design can look so simple, but trust me, it doesn’t just happen. It takes intention, practice and critiques. To do this, read books (this is a fave, as is this) and take online courses through sites like Skillshare.
I did take an InDesign 101 course at my local city college the second I quit my cubical job, but the pace of learning dragged on, so I resorted to 100% online learning.
B: When you feel you have a good understanding of step A, then start to find other graphic designers who are doing their craft reeeaallllyyyy well. Learn from them. Email them and ask questions. Study them and their work. Chances are, if you surround yourself with well-crafted design, you will start to emulate it in your practice and then eventually, you will start to create original practices because you now know the founding principles.
2. Practice: Bring your knowledge into the Adobe Suite
A. Sign up for the Adobe Suite (at this point you only need InDesign, Illustrator and Photoshop) and, wait for it…yep, take more classes. This is the time to practice what you just absorbed and that can be done by committing to taking X amount of classes per week. I learned most of what I know through Skillshare graphic design and web design classes (with some hand lettering classes sprinkled in the mix) and Nicole’s Classes; Illustrator, InDesign and Branding 101.
B. Hire yourself to create something. Anything. By doing this you will struggle to figure out how to achieve what you are looking to achieve and through this process you will learn so much. At this point, utilize YouTube like it’s your best friend. Don’t know how to use the pen tool? No problem. YouTube it. This cycle is such an important part of learning on your own, so don’t rush it.
3. Don’t Say No: No job is too small. Do them all
Put your skills out there to your friends and family! Offer your services and you will be amazed at the things people ask you to do. You will learn a lot. Fast. When you get a request to make a flyer for a retirement home’s 10th annual pot-luck, trust me…don’t say no (even if you want to). You never know what that opportunity will bring; from learning a new skill, meeting a potential new friend, or a client with a job that may be more up your alley.
4. Find Your Niche: Do one thing really well
They say it takes 10,000 hours and yea, they are probably right. But in the meantime, start to hone-in on what you get excited about doing and do more of that. I firmly believe it is better for you and your future clients to do a few things really well instead of doing a bunch of things kinda well. By making your offerings short and concise, you are able to work on the things you dream about instead of things you dread. Don’t worry, this has taken me years to figure out.
5. Take an Hour: The learning never ends
Set aside one hour a week dedicated to learning. Be it learning by reading design-related articles or taking a class on a design element you have yet to tackle. Even when you feel you have it down, chances are you could benefit from refining your skills and soaking up new inspiration. Whether you’re taking graphic design on as a profession or not, this mindset will help you keep current.
6. Collaborate: PR is your best friend
A very fun and effective way to get your name and craft into the world is to collaborate with other creatives. Reach out to people whom you admire and make some magic. Styled photoshoots are a great way to show off your hand lettering talents, or your skills in invitations or print design. At this point, you will quickly realize that whatever you put out into the world you will get back, so choose your collaborations wisely so you are staying true to your niche and don’t find yourself being hired for jobs outside of your “love zone.”
The original version of this post appeared on Hey Mama.
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How This CEO Plans to Make Other Women Really Rich
If it don't make dollars, it don't make sense.
With the unofficial tagline “Make other women really rich,” Cindy Whitehead, CEO of The Pink Ceiling, the business she founded in 2016 focused on mentoring and investing in female-focused startups, expects the pay it forward model to work. “Money is in many ways power,” Whitehead says. “And it’s a power women need for the next stage of the entire women’s movement.”
Cindy Whitehead has spent 20+ years at the helm of companies. Most notably, her third venture, Sprout Pharmaceuticals was responsible for breaking through with the first FDA-approved drug for women with low libidos. This little pink pill, known to Whitehead as Addyi and to the media as “the female Viagra,” gave the entrepreneur “a front row lesson on what it means for women to advocate for themselves and each other.” It sold for a whopping $1 billion upfront payment.
She’s a businesswoman. A force. And a breakthrough artist in the field of health tech. Though Addyi’s trajectory didn’t play out as Whitehead expected (that story can be found here) and she says there isn’t a day that goes by that she doesn’t think about the company, she took away an understanding of how to champion for others, the way many supporters have done for her along the way.
Having always built companies from scratch, many people expected her to jump into the next operating role. She surprised them. “What rips the sheets off in the morning for me is fighting injustices. It is an injustice that women get 2% of funding. It’s a ridiculous idea that half of the population only has 2% of the good ideas.” It’s also statistically incorrect-- and Whitehead likes data. She also likes pink. For her, these are not incongruous notions. “I like pink,” the CEO explains. “I like being a woman. I think women have unique strengths to bring to the table and by god nobody is going to make me lose my pink.”
"It’s a ridiculous idea that half of the population only has 2% of the good ideas.”
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When she says people use “pink” and the stereotype it conjures as a means to dismiss an idea, those are conversations she tends to run towards, as breaking preconceived notions is what will ultimately create change. “It’s why I showed up in blazing pink to the FDA. Every time. Unmistakably I was there to have a conversation about women because we weren’t listening to them.” She’s had her critics, sure. But thinks women embrace an unapologetic approach. “When I showed up [to the FDA] talking about sex in all pink, there was a healthy dose of underestimation. And then I’d surprise them with all the data I know.” This piggybacks on her favorite piece of advice: “Prepare to be underestimated. And then show up and kill them with competence. I say it over and over again because underestimation as a woman in business is inevitable. It is going to happen. That can either force you to retreat or you can harness it and surprise them.”
The Pink Ceiling is not a classic VC. It is Whitehead’s own investment post Sprout.
Inbound proposals abound and Whitehead and her team take an active role in the companies they choose to move forward with. “We make decisions based on bandwidth and our ability for real impact.” Can she help a woman in fashion tech as much as she could help someone in the health tech? With the fundamentals of business, yes. With her rolodex, no. She thinks “below the belt for women” is an untapped area. “It is the last taboo in health. Even as women we don’t talk about the things we haven’t been ‘given permission’ to. If it’s below the belt it comes to me.” However, she says The Pink Ceiling teams works really hard with the companies that make it through the vetting process to find them a home. Admitting, “It’s not always with us. We have 11 companies that we actively work with every day. About another 4 that we’re about to go into. And we’ve taken 50 women through the 3-month mentorship program thus far.”
"Underestimation as a woman in business is inevitable. It is going to happen."
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The company’s battle against injustice is happening on two fronts. First, the lack of access to capital.“It requires an extra step and requires them [investors] to do their own homework with the audience that [the product] effects,” she says of why male investors aren’t funding female-focused companies or female founders. “My career has taught me the unconscious bias runs deep. I don’t think when [men] are sitting across the table that they’re intentionally thinking, ‘oh well this is for women I’m not going to fund it,’ but they’re sitting there not connecting to it.
She continues, “If I’m going to go up for investment dollars tomorrow, I have the highest probability that the entire table seated across from me will be men. And if I’m pitching an idea that is uniquely suited to women, I’m talking to an audience that fundamentally doesn’t relate. And I think the human nature component of that is that I’m less likely to invest in things that do not particularly impact me. Hopefully we’re catching up. But it’s why at the Pink Ceiling I equally look at men doing great work for women.”
To point: Undercover Colors, founded by four men. It is a nail polish intended help wearers detect the presence of date-rape drug. For Whitehead, that company is the sweet spot. “It’s not just a tool, it’s a conversation,” she says. “I’m always going to love health tech. I like the geeks that are innovating, creating a real tool-- one that creates a social conversation.” At the time we speak, she’s got at least one eye on Lauren Weiniger's “The Safe Sex” app. “We’re not yet invested, but I’m closely watching." SAFE let's you show your verified STD status on your phone, and know your partner's status.
The company is also fighting injustice with the “Pinkubator” program, The Pink Ceiling's way of addressing the lack of access to female mentors. It’s an integral part of the business that tackles the need for more straight-talk amongst female entrepreneurs. "The conversation that I’m going to have woman to woman is different," Whitehead says. "There’s nothing wrong with a climate of encouragement, I agree with that wholeheartedly. But we have to be careful that we balance that with candor,” she says.
And while she marks the powers of observation and empathy as a “superpower” of women, particularly when applied to business, she believes "data, in particular, is informed differently through the lens of empathy.” When combined the two have immense power and potential. Totally solo however, they might make for risky business.
“Oftentimes we’re delivering news that people don’t want to hear,” she explains. “But here’s my worry: If I’m a young woman coming out of college today and I know by the numbers that my chances aren’t as good in a classic corporate world and I have this idea of entrepreneurship from Shark Tank, which has given me the moxy to go out and start on my own, that’s great." The danger lies in blind encouragement. “If nobody talks about the scalability or sustainability of her business, here’s what’s going to happen: she’s going to fail. And when she fails, I fear that we are going to reinforce a narrative that women don’t have what it takes.”
Mentorship is so crucial to the process that it’s part of her team’s investment consideration. If you look at the numbers, she says, women are not only starting businesses faster than men, they're also often starting businesses alone. "One truly is the loneliest number in entrepreneurship. When we look at investments, I’m looking to see if they’ve been resourceful enough to find that network of other women who are going to help propel them.” She says resourcefulness is as easy as Google, where you can find conferences (*cough cough*), programs, accelerators, and the access to people who will push you. “Sometimes we have a paralyzing fear when it’s not going the way we expected that there’s no fallback. There’s always a fallback. And I hope that when women feel that way they can push through the moments of the deepest fear of entrepreneurship."
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C&C Classifieds Nº42: The Narrative Group, Modway Furniture, Framebridge & More
Your new future is only one application away.
Still on the hunt for the job that's perfect? Newsflash: there's no such thing as a perfect job. There IS however, a job that's perfect for you. So we're bringing you some great midweek opportunities from companies that we'd love to work at.
Check out the below and then click-thru for access to our full Classifieds listings.
Modway Furniture, Cranbury, NJ
The Narrative Group, Hollywood, CA
Framebridge, Washington, DC
Outdoor Voices, Los Angeles, CA
Food52, New York, NY
Soul Pancake, Los Angeles, CA
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ITK: How to Use Affiliate Links the Right Way
The money is out there. Do you know how to get it?
Where do content and commerce collide? “In a beautiful space,” said Amazon Fashion Director Kate Dimmock to a crowd of hundreds of women at Create & Cultivate NYC at the Knockdown Center in Brooklyn. “What’s important for you to know is that every piece of content that you create is shoppable and able to be linked to affiliate links,” she added.
And then the influencers took to Amazon Fashion’s "Content Meets Commerce" panel to share their tips on affiliate linking, how to navigate the content world, and what it means to be a successful blogger.
First they broke down some myths. The blogging world is “overcrowded.”
Or is it?
This is something we hear time and again, and what many members of our audience ask-- how do they break into an overcrowded market? How do they stand out from the pack?
Mary Orton, creator of Memorandum and co-founder and CEO of Trove, took a moment to break down the “so crowded” myth of the blogger world. “There are a lot of bloggers and content creators,” she shared, but then mentioned how many new restaurants open up in Manhattan. “Every time a restaurant opens on your block, you don’t say, oh no annoooother new restaurant. If you are being yourself. If you are presenting a unique POV, people will find it compelling. There is room for everybody. That’s important to keep in mind and don’t be discouraged by.”
Cynthia Andrew of SimplyCyn added, “Content is king. It’s really about what you bring to the conversation. “Every day I’m finding someone new and I’m following them and adding them. I wouldn’t say that it’s too saturated. But you have to understand that there is competition and it is harder to get eyes. Which is why you have to be consistent. You have to care about quality, more than quantity. There are people who post four times a day who aren’t adding anything to the conversation.”
Courtney of Color Me Courtney got her MBA young, at 21, but says she looked like “a numbers nerd on paper.” So she started her blog to break into the fashion industry in a less nerdy way. She told the audience, “Have true intent. The blogging game has changed in the last two years-- it has become a major monetization opportunity. But you shouldn’t start out to hit a bottom line. You should start to create content and to create community.”
"Have true intent. The blogging game has changed in the last two years-- but you shouldn’t start out to hit a bottom line."
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Lauryn Evarts of The Skinny Confidential advised the audience to “Think of a niche. I see a lot of girls get into blogging and they’ll email me and say, ‘I wanna be a lifestyle blogger.’ But that’s not where I would start. It’s so broad. Lifestyle blogger is the long-term play. Start niche. Like farming sea-monkey niche. And expand from there. You need to think about your niche as an upside-down triangle. The tip is your niche and the wide-part that you grow to is ‘lifestyle blogger.’ I think that is the trick to being a successful blogger.”
Content meets commerce-- it’s a relationship that goes hand-in-hand, but how do you do it?
This was the main question of the day: How do platforms work together to drive sales and earnings?
Mary Orton took on the big picture. “A lot of social platforms started out as a place that allowed quality content to thrive and content creators to be discovered. We’re seeing a lot of people struggling with that because these social platforms follow a similar life cycle. So ownership of your content is critically important,” she shared. “Be smart about where your content lives and that your business is diversified. You don’t want to become too dependent on a social media platform whose algorithm can change on a dime.”
So while you can make $ on sponsored IG posts, monetizing content on your platform with affiliate links and programs like Amazon Fashion’s are vital to the longevity and success of your business.
“My Instagram can go away tomorrow,” Evarts noted. Which is why she continually works on growing her audience on channels that aren’t beholden to someone else’s platform. “I didn’t go into blogging solely to monetize,” the outspoken blogger explained. “I went in to provide value. That’s one of the most important things. You need to establish value and trust with your readership before you think about money.” Orton echoed this sentiment saying, “Monetization opportunities will come. Any time you focus on monetization opportunities only, that’s when it comes across as commercial. It’s not only important to know this in the beginning, but throughout your journey.””
It was three years into blogging for Cynthia Andrew, who is attorney by day, blogger by night, when someone mentioned to her, “You should be using affiliate linking.” Andrew said it sounded like a “headache,” but then realized how much earning potential there is. Today she tries “not to overlink. I link to things I like. But I use it as an additional tool because brands want to see the information.”
“No one knows if you’re actually able to drive sales,” said Courtney, “but with affiliate linking you can show proof of concept to brands who want to see those numbers.” The colorful blogger also shared, “Now if I wear anything over a hundred dollars, I also link to something similar that is under a hundred dollars.”
"With affiliate linking you can show proof of concept to brands who want to see those numbers.”
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It all ties back to providing the most value and creating community among your followers. It’s not about selling out. “No one wants to be sold to,” said Lauryn. “Talking about something organically on your platform is so powerful.” Don’t forget it.
To learn more and sign up for the Amazon Fashion Influencer Program, please email fashion-influencer-program@amazon.com.
photo credit: Becki Smith/ Smith House Photography
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Sign Language: How to Deal with a Gemini Boss
Twin bosses! Twin problems!
graphic credit: Chloe White
Does your boss leave you to figure it out on your own? But then also, not…? Does she feel like a moving target that you can’t seem to hit? But wouldn't want to because she’s also the sweetest, most fun-loving boss you’ve ever had? Oh girl. Your boss must be a Gemini.
The twin sign that is both quick-witted and sociable but can switch on a dime to her more serious side. For a worker bee, it’s hard to know which boss you’re going to get come Monday (or any day) morning, so we’re breaking down a couple ways to deal.
Date range: May 22-June 21
Element: Air
Lucky Numbers: 5 - 14 - 15 - 18 - 26 - 31
Strengths: Enthusiastic, witty, intellectual, great communicator
Weaknesses: Lack of consistency, superficial, anxious, lack of decision making
The best part of a Gemini is that she is considered the best at seeing both sides of the situation. Highly-intelligent and communicative, she is ruled by the motto “I communicate,” which means she is going to want to talk things out. She is ruled by logic, but since she is able to see both sides, she can also argue both sides. When people say don’t fight with a Gemini, you’ll lose— they’re often right. In the workplace this can be hard.
The safest way out of a disagreement is to use the fact that “the twins” of the Gemini sign are never idle. Use this to your advantage and don’t expect to take up too much time belaboring one issue. When talking to your boss, know what you want to say, present it, and move on. You’ll both be in a better headspace.
Ruled by Mercury, the Gemini boss has a first rate mind with unique and original ideas— probably what landed her in the boss seat. However, a fast mind often leads to an “on-to-the-next” approach. She can get bored if she’s not being WOW’d and needs to be challenged. If you see her eyes glazing over during a presentation, chances are you’ve lost her. This can feel like a blessing and a curse. Use this trait to you're advantage and present out-of-the-box ideas. We bet she’d be willing to take a risk on an idea you think is too out there. She’s a little impulsive. Not always great when it comes to feedback… but more fun when it comes to saying ‘yes.’
A little wild in the working world can be difficult. Inconsistency is part of her nature, so if she loves an idea one moment and hates it the next, don’t feel discouraged. Find a way to update it. Expand it. What she’s doing is challenging you to make it better. So you always need to be game. Don’t get too attached to one idea, because it may very well not play.
The Gemini boss can get a little restless, so you need to keep her in the loop on what you’re doing. It may feel like overkill to always be sending updates, but it’s a way to give her peace of mind and also keep her off your back. The best way to avoid feeling micromanaged is to stay one foot ahead of the email. Quick bullet-point updates at the end of the day are a good way to let her know, you’re on top of your tasks.
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Dream Big, But Abandon These 4 Dangerous Expectations
Aim a little lower, would ya?
image credit: Jenna Peffley
There's nothing wrong with holding onto your dreams and doing your damnedest to make them a reality, but expectations are the root of all failure. Mainly because there is no way for reality to hold up against them. Reality is messier. Reality is murkier. Reality keeps you real.
This year, we want you to dream big. But we want you to ditch these expectations that only lead you down the rabbit hole.
1. THAT YOU'RE OWED SOMETHING
You're not "owed" anything.
It's tough to accept that simply because you work hard, hard work doesn't always pay off-- at least in the immediate. But it's true.
There are plenty of other busy bees working equally if not harder than you. It's why every creative or successful entrepreneur we speak to tells us the same thing: work, work harder, and then by golly! work some more.
You're not owed a raise, a promotion, or a job. It's hard to argue with hard numbers. But in order to get a raise or advance your standing, you need proven metrics. You need case studies. You need to be able to not only show but prove your worth. Don't work for the congratulations, but because you enjoy it.
2. NEEDING TO "WIN"
Never take a deal you can't afford to lose. If you're expecting that your career or business rests entirely on closing ONE deal or making ONE sale, it is a one-way ticket to failure. Why? The energy you bring to the table will likely not be one of composure or clear-headedness, but they'll be able to smell that insecurity on you. People don't like insecurity because it makes them question not just you, but themselves as well.
"Never take a deal you can't afford to lose."
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More so, an obsession with winning can prevent you from doing so. You become so focused on advancing that you don't pay attention to what's in front of you: the small, over-looked details that will trip you up and allow others to get ahead. And when you do get tripped up... it's time to ditch this next expectation.
3. THAT YOU ARE THE SMARTEST
Self doesn't always know best. And most successful people will tell you to surround yourself with people smarter than you are. There is always something to learn, and if you think that you're the smartest person in the room, either look harder or find another room.
The expectation that you will be the smartest, the fastest, the [insert any est here], can actually be more detrimental than beneficial to your well-being. This article on women who regained their confidence after graduating to Harvard speaks to this. The three women describe the daily difficulties and high expectations as such: “Succeeding was the baseline. There were fewer opportunities to excel and do something praiseworthy.” It gave each of them a complex to get over, before they were able to get ahead.
4. THAT YOU NEED TO WRITE A "WAY WAY TOO LONG" GOAL LIST
Tina Wells, CEO and founder of Buzz Marketing Group says, "Know what you're going to do," and that "goals are important and you need to set targets that also have deadlines associated with them."
However, the marketing guru warns, "You should not have more than three goals." The why of these goals are equally as important. "For every goal you set, you should have a reason for why you want to accomplish that goal," say Tina. "If you don’t have a reason, then it shouldn’t be one of your goals!"
If we set too many goals, we have the expectation that we will and can achieve all of them. But overreaching is the first step in over expecting. You don't have to aim low, but aim just slightly about where you want to go. That way, if you fall slightly below your expectation, which is common, it doesn't feel like a failure that stops you from moving forward.
You can land on your feet and your dreams stay alive.
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You'll Never Guess What This Top Blogger Says Is More Valuable Than Being #1
"I am the opposite of an overnight success."
Photo credit: Keiko Lynn
Before Live Journal, there was Open Diary. A platform that OG, now Brooklyn-based blogger Keiko Lynn, used as a personal outlet. Today her blog KeikoLynn.com is a space where the self-proclaimed "restless adventurer" shares her take on fashion, beauty, and her daily life.
We caught up with Keiko to chat all things influencer and why you have to be willing to put in the time, without any immediate return.
After more than decade in the blogosphere (shout out to your 1999 Open Diary) how have you been able to stay true to yourself?
Since the primary focus of my blog started out as a personal diary, it's actually pretty difficult to not stay true to myself. I named my blog "Keiko Lynn" before I ever intended for it to be more than just a personal outlet, but it still maintains that personal feeling. If I ever strayed from my true self, I'd have a lot of friends and family and loyal readers to answer to.
You didn’t set out to build a brand, but that’s what you’ve done. How do you feel about person as brand? Did you ever have any hesitation?
It happened so gradually that I didn't really contemplate it, before or as it was happening. I am the opposite of an overnight success. It was little things here and there, starting with blogging for Cingular when I was on LiveJournal, or having a magazine featuring me in a photo shoot, etc. I would just think of them as solitary opportunities that I couldn't pass up, not as stepping stones in my career path. It was years before it became a career, and by that time, "Keiko Lynn" had been my online (and real life, of course) identity for long enough that I didn't think I should change it. I still don't think of myself as a brand. I never think, "Is this on brand for me?" I just know what I do and do not like; I know myself.
"I never think, 'Is this on brand for me?' I just know what I do and do not like; I know myself."
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Do you consider yourself an early adaptor? What are some other important traits to have as a blogger and influencer?
When I started my current blog, I was a young and perpetually broke independent clothing designer, so everything I wore was handmade or from a thrift store, and most of my photos were taken with a self timer. That was what blogging was like, back then. We were remixing what we had in our closets. Now, we have bloggers who are starting out with a whole creative team behind them; they're coming in with photographers, beautiful web design, and a closet full of current, contemporary and designer clothing. I think that's amazing, and if you have the wherewithal or creative contacts to start a blog as a legitimate business platform, why not?! That's what's so cool about modern blogging -- you don't always have to go through the awkward growing stages that many of us went through. But I probably wouldn't have had a fighting chance, with my wide-angled, self-timer photos and second-hand clothing, if I weren't one of the early adopters. Even now that I have an actual closet (I didn't, back then), at least half of what I wear is vintage or thrifted...and I still take many of my own photos. I'm in a very particular niche, and I'm well aware that I was lucky to have early exposure.
The most important trait to have as a blogger is tenacity. I've known many people who started blogging and gave up after awhile, when they didn't see immediate growth. Overnight success stories usually only look like overnight successes. You have to be willing to put in the time without any immediate return, and keep going until you build yourself a base. It will come, but you have to keep going.
"You have to be willing to put in the time without any immediate return."
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What are some shifts you’ve been hesitant to adopt, but eventually jumped on board?
I am famous for being late to just about every social media platform. My very first tweet was something along the lines of, "Let's see how long this lasts..."
Do you ever feel like, enough! No more apps, no more sharing, I can’t possibly add one more “must” to my social lineup?
I feel like that almost every day of my life. I drew the line at Periscope. I won't do another one...I can't!! Although Instagram just added their very Snapchat-like feature, and I might end up giving that a try. I'm trying not to be the last one for that.
We’ve talked to a few bloggers about unexpected difficulties and the BTS realities, but what are some BTS unexpected joys?
I have made some wonderful friends through blogging, whether bloggers, readers, or people in the fashion and beauty industry. When I moved to NYC, I barely knew anyone. I had one friend and a LiveJournal friend, and my roommate and I had only met a few times before living together. Making friends in a new city is so difficult, and the blogging world really opened me up to a whole community.
How do you come up with creative ideas?
With style, I look to the past. With makeup, I look to both the past and the runways. But mostly, I just garner inspiration from everyday life, whether it's someone I pass in the streets or a page from a current read.
What’s a business aphorism you live by/what’s one you don’t think rings true anymore?
As trite as it sounds to "stay true to yourself," it's something I live by in both work and in my personal life. But I also think it's important to let yourself evolve naturally; the two are not mutually exclusive. 31 year old me is not exactly the same as 19 year old me. Part of staying true to yourself is allowing yourself room to grow and evolve. What doesn't ring true anymore is that you have to always be number one. Staying power can be just as valuable.
"What doesn't ring true anymore is that you have to always be number one. Staying power can be just as valuable."
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What do you think you’d be doing without the advent of social media?
I think about this often, because when you're in this sort of career, you have to be on your toes. What if it all went away, tomorrow -- what would I do? I imagine I would go back to my roots and start a new clothing line or invest in starting a makeup line, which is something I've always dreamed of doing.
How do you feel about the term influencer?
What do you think is the future of influencer? I prefer the term when referring to other people, and don't mind when others use it to describe me -- but referring to myself as an influencer feels strange and boastful. The truth is, we're all influencers in some way. Some just have a larger audience.
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Exclusive Tour: This Company President Just Completely Revamped Her Office
Can we say #officegoals?
Michelle Newbery, who leads the team at online home furnishings retailer The Mine (née ATGStores.com), is fast becoming a recognizable player in a very competitive market niche. In the fast-paced world of interior design, where bright ideas often burn out as fast as they’re born, the new President's star is on the rise.
And, thanks to this experience, Newbery’s got some amazing tips on how to navigate the executive arena. (Find those here.)
But she also knew that when it was time to take on her new role, new office digs were in order as well. We chatted about the redesign and the most productive color (according to Google).
Q: What was the design plan for Michelle’s office?
A: We were really trying to achieve a space that had multiple “zones” that felt more like a home office than a business suite. We wanted to create a calming place with soft blues and greenery.
Q: Tell us about the zones.
A: We organized zones by use. We wanted to create two separate workstations; one stand-up area to facilitate movement and action, and a tech-free seated area to serve as a more contemplative, creative space. The former is outfitted with Michelle’s computer, phone, etc., and the latter offers open desk space where she can spread her work out, look over documents or just take a break from the flicker of the monitor.
Q: Is there a meeting space or lounge area?
A: We chose a lovely conference table that anchors the room where Michelle can host meetings, but it’s also a great place to enjoy a casual lunch, which is in keeping with Michelle’s inclusive leadership style. And yes, there’s also a lounge area with comfy chairs and a coffee table that also promotes a relaxed vibe.
Q: Was promoting a “relaxed vibe” really important?
A: Definitely! Like most of us, Michelle appreciates a serene environment, so we incorporated calming blue hues to create a more soothing atmosphere. And, blue is “the most productive color” – according to Google, anyway – so it feels like a win-win.
Q: So, the room is blue?
A: Ha ha! No, not all. The dominant color is white, and we accented with blues. We also added greenery into the mix, to offset that cold tech feel that seems to come standard in every office building. We think staying connected to nature helps dial down the static in our otherwise tech-obsessed lives.
Click on the photos to shop some of our favorite pieces from the story below!
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Beauty Brand Founder's Favorite Emails Are From Women Who Don't Wear Makeup
Find out why.
Who: April Gargiulo, Founder, Vintner's Daughter
Where: March, the first stockist of her product, Lower Pacific Heights
Favorite spot to find the perfect chair: Hedge Gallery or Almond Hartzog
Where she'll grab a glass of wine with a career peer: The Progress
The facialist to whom she entrusts her skin: A Facial Massage from Julie Lynge. Her hands are magic.
Where she'll take a client dinner: Octavia
Favorite spot to grab coffee with a friend: As Quoted
If she could choose to sit and be still anywhere in the city, it would be: Wood Line. An installation by artist Andy Goldsworthy in the Presidio.
Tourist attraction in SF she's never visited: I’ve never walked across the Golden Gate Bridge.
She's a designer, wine maker, and now skin care expert, but the through line of April Gargiulo's career has always been "businesses that are focused on quality and expression at the highest level."
April founded Vintner's Daughter an active botanical face oil "designed to be a powerhouse of multi-correctional activity." She calls it her desert island product (and has the skin to prove it). "It address all of my skincare needs (acne, discoloration, elasticity, tone and clarity) at the highest levels and without toxins. It's the product I would never go without. Interestingly, because we addressed my skincare needs at such a foundational level, Active Botanical Serum is able to correct a multitude of skin issues; from rosacea to acne."
"I love helping woman feel confident in their skin. The best emails I ever receive are the ones that say 'I have stopped wearing makeup.' It might sound silly, but there is a lot of freedom in that."
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The best emails I ever receive are the ones that say 'I have stopped wearing makeup.' It might sound silly, but there is a lot of freedom in that."
It's also a face serum for the busy working woman who doesn't have the time for a multi-step skin care regime every night. 6-8 drops, 30 seconds of pushing and pressing per the serum's instructions, and you're glowing. "I am a business woman," she notes, "who is focused on creating the most uncompromisingly effective skincare made from the world’s finest ingredients."
"The most surprising part of entrepreneurship in the beauty space is how intimate it can be. When talking about skincare, you cut through so much artifice so fast."
photo credit: Andrea Posadas