Ugh: Lena Dunham on "The Sting" We've All Felt
If you're on fire, you're gonna burn.
By Megan Conley
Earlier this month Lena Dunham hosted a sold-out event at Housing Works in NYC to promote the launch of the offspring of her uber-popular online feminist newsletter, Lenny Letter. The new brand, Lenny Books, is part of Random House and is the brainchild of both Lena and Jenni Konner.
The night celebrated the first book to be released by Lenny, Sour Heart. Lena took the stage alongside the author, Jenny Zhang, in an evening that was just as entertaining as it was inspiring.
The advice Lena and Jenny Zhang dispelled was relevant to not only female authors, but any female trying to achieve more in their career.
Here are some takeaways from the evening:
Push Yourself
While Jenny’s fictional collection of short stories just hit shelves August 1st, the book has already been deemed both “unforgettable” and “elegant and unconventional” by the press. Such rave reviews make it easy to imagine a scenario where once she’s formed an idea for a story, everything else just flows out onto her page.
Not so.
According to Jenny, in order to get the most out of herself she writes against her ego. She said, “Writing against the worst of who you think you are is my writing process.”
Know Your Unique Value
The dialogue between Lena and Jenny was relaxed and natural, and the event felt as though you were seated next to them at a dinner table.
When describing the experience of developing her own voice in an academic setting, she spoke to the advantages and disadvantages of being continually critiqued. As with life, if we listen and take advice from each and every person we lose our uniqueness. Doing so would cause us to turn out, as Jenny put it, “like a very bland, boiled peanut.”
She also said to develop your voice independently of all the voices speaking around you.
Allow Yourself to Be Mentored
Both Lena and Jenny spoke about having their work edited. They each praised their editors, and mentioned the sting that comes alongside putting your heart and soul into something only to be told it isn’t quite there yet.
No matter what we do for a living, we’ve all felt that sting.
A good editor, as with any coach or work mentor, will take your work and encourage you to make it even better. We should allow ourselves to be mentored and edited by those who are appreciative of our potential.
As someone who’s always been in awe of Lena’s writing and television I wanted to know why, at this point in her career, she’d decided to take launch Lenny Books. I was thrilled* (*Beyonce is to Adele as Lena is to me) when she read that question aloud. Her response:
Lena: A huge part was Jenni. We knew we wanted an imprint with smart, diverse feminist content….The goal is when you see the insignia you’ll know you’ll learn something and feel something. You’ll feel more connected to yourself and less alone. Even if you hate it you’ll step away being like, I had a really powerful experience. And books are the best.
With the next book up being a collection of never-before-published essays about Michelle Obama we know what’s to come will continue to inspire.
What’s the best advice you’ve ever received in your career? Let us know in the comments!
Megan works for Wellness Amplified, where she helps clients develop and execute campaigns with online Influencers. In Megan's free time she enjoys writing, taking spin classes, and experimental attempts at cooking. Her writing has been featured in Social Media Week, Social Media Today, and Brides. P.S. Her New Year's resolution was not to become one of those insanely annoying "just engaged" people. But... if you want, you can check out her proposal video here.
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Links From our Group Chat: TSwift, Single Ladies & Nuclear War
Squad reads.
We had a good run. See you in single hell. (WTF!)
So basically, should we all get T-Swift tattoos? (#assinthebackofmybody.)
The Paul Smith pink wall is good for IG, but is it good for sales? Survey says nah.
Smartphones may have connected them, but they're also destroying an entire generation.
Speaking of destruction. How to build a bomb shelter 101. (Don't trip yet.)
Can't stop, won't stop Channing Tatum from dancing. In gas stations.
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Meet the Platform Giving Fake News the Middle Finger
(And they just raised 20 mil to do it.)
“I taught myself what I could just so I could stay,” says Ana Kasparian host and co-producer of The Young Turks, the largest online news network in the world. They just raised $20 million in venture capital and have plans to double their staff. They’ve been live-streaming 2005,
As a major political voice and specifically one trusted by young people, Ana knows that honesty is crucial during the current political climate. “You don’t see a lot of that in mainstream media,” she says, “and it gets me in trouble. But it also empowers women to share in an outspoken and aggressive way.”
Aggressive is not a tone she shies away from. “I think a lot of people are uncomfortable with the paradigm shift. Women are more educated than men, they’re more ambitious, and there is a new type of competition for men for the types of jobs they’re used to getting. Hearing someone like me? I think it’s intimidating.”
"Women are more educated than men and they’re more ambitious."
Tweet this.
What else would you expect from the little girl who would cuddle up with her mom on Friday night to watch Barbara Walters interview world leaders and public figures on ABC’s 20/20. After finishing her undergraduate degree in journalism, the go-getter immediately landed a job as an associate producer at CBS radio. However, after about six months into the job she knew it wasn’t for her. “The type of journalism produced in that newsroom,” says Ana, “didn’t make me feel like it was was making a difference or doing enough to inform listeners.”
At the same time there was a temp position open at The Young Turks, which, was a “tiny little startup at the time.” From day one Ana says she knew it was where she needed to be. “It was unscripted, uncensored, and raw! The honesty that reverberated through the halls during every broadcast drew me in so intensely that I didn’t want to leave when my temp position was over.” She asked to stay. There wasn’t a position available that spoke to her skills, so she took a job in the marketing department and did everything she could to remain a part of the organization.
Ten years later, as producer and co-host Ana is now an integral part of the show’s success.
She thinks the mainstream media made a lot of mistakes the past election cycle. “They love the drama,” Ana shares. “The biggest mistake was not taking him [Trump] seriously from the beginning. He’s ignorant, not necessarily stupid. And he’s great at manipulation.”
She also thinks Hillary’s calculated actions had little chance in the face of Trump’s “word vomit,” because of Hillary's next level misogyny conundrum. If she had behaved like Trump, it never would have worked. But Ana recognizes the importance of her career, presidential win or not. "She has paved the way for women like me to be aggressive,” the host shares. Ana hopes that post-run she “comes out in a way she never has,” especially for the younger generations who are “drawn to authentic.”
Despite experiencing violent threats, Ana won't be silenced. "I do what I think is right to get the message across to the viewers. We have to not be afraid. We have to fight back against that type [misogynist] rhetoric."
“There are individuals who threaten my life on a daily basis. In fact, 2016 was the first year where I actually encountered a few in-person physical attacks. But I see these threats as an effort to silence me, and women have been silenced for so long. I'll be damned if I allow anyone to silence me and stop me from doing what I love to do.”
And she’s learned to love herself, even when the world is telling her she’s a “terrible person.”
“My career has become a big part of my identity. It represents who I am and what my purpose is. Part of that purpose is remaining true to that voice, particularly in the face of a Trump presidency. “I’ll be just as opinionated and committed to getting accurate information out there. I see my privilege to look out for the disenfranchised and people who are going to suffer under his presidency. I think it’s important to spread a message about what it means to be an America. True patriotism is looking out for your neighbor.”
"True patriotism is looking out for your neighbor.”
Tweet this.
Her other goal is to get money out of politics. “With a vanishing middle class, you’re going to have hunger games. We’re attacking each other for stupid shit instead of attacking the system.”
Female empowerment means choosing your own destiny. It doesn't matter what you want to do, or how you want to do it. Being empowered allows you to make the right decisions for your life, regardless of what others expect of you."
Styling provided by Reservoir LA. Hair and makeup provided by Glamsquad. Photography courtesy of Light Lab and Woodnote Photography.
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5 Badass Celebrities Using Their Platform for GOOD
Reasons to love them even more.
Sometimes being famous comes with a price. What a celebrity posts on Instagram or what we hear through the media can change our opinion about that person.
However, we can tell you one thing. These 5 women are using their platforms for GOOD. Among other things, they are each extremely passionate about the work they do. All 5 of these women are doing something different. These women are using their platforms to help spread the word, and they aren’t stopping here. While they are all talented, it’s their passion projects that make us love them even more….
Alicia Keys- @aliciakeys
Alicia Keys is a force to be reckoned with. Not only can she sing, but she making this world a better place. As an ambassador for the ‘Keep A Child Alive’ organization, Keys travels to Africa and India speaking with orphans whose parents have died from AIDS. Keys is also a spokesperson for the ‘Frum The Ground Up’ campaign, where she works to instill motivation within American youths to achieve success. Her insta bio opens with, “passionate about my work” and @aliciakeys ain’t lying.
Laverne Cox- @lavernecox
Laverne Cox is a powerhouse. As the first transgender actress to be nominated for an Emmy, she has not stopped since. Cox is at the forefront of the transgender movement and a huge advocate for the LGBT community as well. Yes, she is one of the stars of Orange Is The New Black, but Cox has used her following to raise awareness. Her platform is #TransIsBeautiful, and boy is she working it.
America Ferrera- @americaferrera
While we may remember her still from "Ugly Betty" and "Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants," America Ferrera has gone from actress to activist. Even though she is still an amazing actress, she has definitely graduated to activist. Ferrera is passionate about her work with ‘Save the Children’ and received an award at the Clinton Global Citizen Awards ceremony. She is extremely passionate on helping promote women’s rights, and was a key speaker at this years D.C.’s Women’s March. We can’t wait to see what she does next.
Kerry Washington- @kerrywashington
She may be Olivia Pope to some, but offscreen Kerry Washington is your girl for ending violence against women. She is an avid supporter of the Purple Purse campaign, which works to support victims of domestic abuse. Washington spoke at the United States of Women Summit, talking about the importance of female financial independence. This girl has taken a stand and she is not backing down.
Eva Longoria- @evalongoria
We know and love her. Eva Longoria, can always put a smile on our face and she’s given us more of a reason. Through her Eva Longoria Foundation, Longoria works passionately to help Latinas build a better future by bettering education and entrepreneurship. As a fierce Latina woman, Longoria is using her platform to promote what she is passionate about. We couldn’t love it more.
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How This Founder Turned a Major Problem Into 2.4 Million in Funding
How Many of You Have Done the Denim Wiggle?
The jump. The suck and shimmy. Even if you make it into your jeans, it still sucks to have to suck it in. And ordering denim online? Forget it. Without knowing how a certain brand fits you, their respective cuts and rises, it’s almost impossible to tell exactly how the pair you ordered will look on your body. Let's just agree: the return rate on online denim purchases is high.
Until now. Fitcode is a simple answer to a complicated problem. Co-founded by former model Rian Buckley, Fitcode is a fashion data company that walks women through a quick series of 5 questions about their shape. It then displays denim options that would work best based on the users answers, providing denim recommendations from brands like Paige and Citizens for Humanity. Fitcode doesn’t carry product, but works with brands to amplify their customers and increase sales. “We integrate onto partner sites," the CEO explains. "We don’t need measurements, we don’t need body scans, we don’t need anything like that.” The company is focused on fit, not size.
As a former model it’s an answer to a problem Buckley witnessed firsthand. “I was young on set,” the co-founder shares, “and people don’t really talk to you. They think you’re just a model, but it gave me an unbelievable platform to listen. So while I stood on set and I would listen to these clients complain about the problems they were facing with e-commerce and the business going online and how customers don’t know how to shop online.” She says listening to the issues at hand is “what kept me sane for a while.” She also used it to her advantage. “People don’t notice you when you’re the model,” she says. For her that meant, “I could get a lot of information. I could discover a lot of problems and therefore I could create a lot of solutions.”
Three years, $2.3M in funding, and 95,000 users (and counting) later, Buckley is running an innovative startup that’s using technology to solve real problems for some of the denim industry’s biggest brands.
“We have a 94% quiz completion rate on partners sites," Buckley notes. "Which proves people are actively looking for a solution. Normal online surveys are anywhere from 8-9% completion rate and Fitcode is 94%. So women love the solution and want to be told which jeans to buy and want it to be easier.” She’s excited to report that Fitcode users are converting at “at least 4 times the rate a normal customer would convert." Which means, "They are trusting the product, they are returning exponentially less, and it’s just been successful for all of our partners.” And for women. Buckley is determined to take the pain out of the online shopping process.
While the modeling world might not have taken the CEO seriously, she says the industry prepared her to run a company. We're talking thick skin. “I founded this company when I was 25 and we launched when I was 26. I had never worked in tech. I had never run a business and now suddenly I was the CEO of a technology company. And the foundation for that came from modeling because I was so used to being undervalued and overlooked.” That and Buckley had total confidence that she could solve the denim problem. “You know,” she adds, “my mom used to always say, ‘Be like water off the duck.’ Whatever people are saying just keep charging ahead. Let it roll off and charge ahead.”
It also taught her to take criticism. “When you’re looking for investment or looking to scale, people always criticize,” she says. “Because it’s the easiest thing to do— they can point out the places where you’re failing and use those things against you." Unlike the modeling world, where the criticisms she faced about her looks were things she couldn't change, in business she feels "empowered" by them. With Fitcode she explains, "the things you’re criticizing me for I can actually make a change. I can change my decisions.”
Like many other women in tech, being undermined has been a part of her journey. “Women in technology,” Buckley says, “are so underserved and we are always overlooked. It is one of those fields where it’s really male-focused and male driven. I think people underestimate women repeatedly.”
"People underestimate women repeatedly.”
She wasn't deterred, even when she found herself explaining her product to a room of men. “I’ll use an example from a big retailer I had a meeting with, not for investment but for partnership," she says. "I walked into this meeting as a 27-year-old woman who had a lot of experience in the fashion industry and understood the problem of women’s denim fit pretty intimately. And I sat across the table from 11 men. I was the only woman in the room and I had these men explain to me how to get women into jeans that fit and why their solution was better than the one I was bringing to the table. And it was so clear to me in that moment why companies are failing online. Because they have a bunch of men trying to solve a problem for women.”
"It was so clear to me in that moment why companies are failing online. Because they have a bunch of men trying to solve a problem for women.”
She says the next step for retailers is to expand their plus-size business. “There is a huge underserved market of plus-size women. And plus-size women, they’re just women too. But brands don’t think about them that way. What they’re missing is that this is just a woman who wants jeans that fit.” Fitcode's mission includes empowering all body types. She also had another goal. One she met.
Though she raised funding, Buckley says, “My goal all along was to see how little investment I could take to see how quickly I could get cashflow positive. That was a really powerful thing I was able to do. Especially as a woman CEO you have to do things differently because people are always going to come in with a little bit of doubt. That is just the fact of the matter. Now, if I can walk into the room and say I don’t need your money, I make my own money. That is the power."
photo credit: Photography for Fitcode by @tawnieakman
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C&C Classifieds Nø 51: FabFitFun, Anthropologie, Whole Foods & More
You ready to take on the world girls?
Have you ever wanted to compare apples to apples? There's a job for that. This week we have opportunities for ladies who love Whole Foods and Anthropologie-- which, are not mutually exclusive loves. Sometimes you need to buy some organic peaches in your boho babe dress.
Us too.
Peep the jobs they peep your resume. Word to the wise: always look it over ONE more time than you think you have to. The devil is in the details.
FABFITFUN - Los Angeles, CA
SOULPANCAKE - Los Angeles, CA
ANTHROPOLOGIE - Philadelphia, PA
WHOLE FOODS - Austin, TX
EXPRESS - Columbus, OH
5 Non-Committal Book Clubs You Need to Follow Now
You'll never feel like a failure.
Today is national book lovers.
Didya know that displaying books outward so you can see the spine is a *relatively* new addition to libraries. Books also used to be chained down (Game of Thrones style). Even monks used to chain the books to their desks. This was to prevent books from being stolen. (because they are one of the world’s most precious commodities.)
So, in honor national book lovers day we are rounding up some of our favorite IG book clubs. It’s HARD to know what to read, especially if you’ve been out of the mix for a minute.
Florence Welch of Florence and the Machine fame has a book club. The band’s front lady runs the handle @betweentwobooks (clearly inspired by Zack Galifinakas) and posts recommendations from well-read women like Tavi Genvison who most recently recommended 'Too Much and Not the Mood', by Durga Chew-Bose.
This site is curated by @emmaroberts and @kpreiss with the goal of discovering and reading a new book every month. According to their site, when Emma was five she made a wish list. On top of that? To own all the books in the world. We’re with her. The actress also managed to score an interview with one of the more reclusive authors, Joan Didion, about new newest book “South and West.” Head to the site to check it out and then sign up for their newsletter to find out what the #belletristbabe is reading next.
It’s not a requirement to have a name that starts with a B if you want a book club, but studies have shown that you are more likely to have a career that corresponds with the first letter of your first name. Bobby=book boss. (We think that’s his official title.) The co-founder of streetwear brand The Hundreds and founder of JENNIFER, is a forever bookworm. In January of 2f 2016 he started his book club to really learn from other readers and authors. @DeathSentencesReadingClub is his “officially unofficial” bookclub, though Bobby officially loves reading. In July they read “Murder on the Orient Express,” by Agatha Christie. You can unofficially join today by hitting a follow on their IG.
Simply put, this site is about “women who read, for women who read.” They’ve interviewed everyone from the "Bad Feminist" herself, Roxanne Fequiere, to the Wing’s head wing woman Audrey Gelman. Their interviews are illuminating and a testament to the staying and inspirational power of the book. But, in every interview they ask the interviewee to shell out three recommendations. And they’ve got a whole section of Feminist Titles, is that’s your preferred genre. “Harry Potter,” “Slouching Toward Bethlehem,” and “Sister Outsider,” are all on the list.
Emma Watson is another actress with a thing for a book spine. Crack into her Shared Shelf to find out what she’s reading. Watson says, “I decided to start a Feminist book club, as I want to share what I’m learning and hear your thoughts too. The plan is to select and read a book every month, then discuss the work during the month’s last week (to give everyone time to read it!). I will post some questions/quotes to get things started, but I would love for this to grow into an open discussion with and between you all. Whenever possible I hope to have the author, or another prominent voice on the subject, join the conversation.” Everyone is welcome— as long as you’re a reader. The group is currently reading “The Beauty Myth,” by Naomi Wolf. Finish date is August 31st, so if you want to jump on this train get to reading!
What are your favorite books/book clubs that exists online! Whatever you do, wherever you are, we hope you read for pleasure today.
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We Bet You've Never Heard of This Holiday
But it's the perfect excuse to do this.
National Just Because Day is August 27th. It’s a REAL day that exists. Best. News. Ever...
And just because you’re awesome, we want to give you a couple more reasons to love yourself a little extra today. Just because you closed a deal at work, reward yourself! Just because you got your kids to school and yourself to work on time, congratulate yourself! Just because you woke up feeling extra fab this morning, applaud yourself!
UrbanStems’ gorgeous bouquets will cheer you up and make you happy, so why not treat yourself? Today is YOUR day to go out and treat YO’SELF just because you’re AMAZING.
Just Because… I Killed It At Work This Week
You just signed off on a big deal, you impressed your boss, got a promotion, whatever it may be, you killed it this week. Now, it is time to treat yo’desk. You need a little color in your office to keep spirits high. What could be a better way of rewarding yourself than with The Vacay Bouquet? The tropical colored bouquet will have you imagining yourself on a beach sipping your favorite cocktail. Who doesn’t want to feel like they are on vacation?
Just Because… Being a Working Mom is HARD
You don’t just wake up in the AM, down your coffee and head to work. You get the kids dressed. Drop them off (with lunch) and make it to the office before a 9am meeting. Being a working mom can be difficult. Sometimes we need to reward ourselves for just ‘doing it all.’ The bright and whimsical Duet Bouquet is a lovely way to thank ourselves for staying sane through all of the challenges being a working mom has to offer. Don’t be afraid to give yourself a present because you deserve it!
Just Because…. I’m a #Bosslady
Feeling extra fab today? Then you deserve to treat yo’self because it is not everyday you feel like this. Loving ourselves a little extra on certain days is so important. This bright and flawless Glam Bouquet is what you need to remind yourself how #bosslady you really are.
Just Because… I Went From 0-100 Real Quick
We all have bad days. Rough meetings, deals gone bad, and co-worker drama. Just because you are having a bad day does not mean it can’t get better. What better way to make turn your day around than treating yourself with a Babar? It is the ultimate gift to cheer you up. This elephant will bring you all of the happy thoughts and energy missing in your day, so go ahead and brighten your day!
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4 Reasons Your Communication Skills are Really Lacking
Say it ain't so.
Think you’re great at communicating? Recent studies show that you might be wrong. According to PayScale, 46% of managers feel that recent graduates lack communication skills, and 44% feel that recent graduates lack clear writing skills. The difference between how graduates see themselves and how employers see graduates is frightening to say the least, and suggests that perhaps graduates aren’t gaining necessary experience while in school.
How you can brush up on your skills
Make sure that you communicate with your peers, managers, and colleagues to ensure that you’re all on the same page and nothing gets lost in translation. This will not only make your work more synchronized, but it will additionally promote respect and understanding. We’re all human and understand that unexpected events or situations arise, however if you don’t clearly communicate what you’re dealing with and feeling, people will not know and understand. If you don’t make your feelings and your situation clear, no one will be able to help.
Define your goals, priorities, and tasks
One of the best ways to clearly communicate with your peers is to define what you want to accomplish on your own, then relay this information to others. Do a self-assessment and figure out your priorities and tasks for the day, then build from there. Make an outline or a to-do list so you can clearly see what’s on your plate. Once you have figured out what you need to accomplish and how to prioritize each task, you can communicate this plan with others. You can also use applications like Trello to keep organized and keep team members up to date on your progress.
Remember that communication is a two way street
While communicating what you need from others is critical, remember that you need to ask others what they need as well. One of the downfalls many people have when it comes to communication is that they forget to ask what is needed of them. You might be communicating your needs to others, but don’t assume that others are doing the same.
Be sure to ask what is needed of you, what tasks need to be accomplished, and what deadlines need to be made. This will ensure that everyone is on the same page and that all bases are covered. If you know someone is notorious for changing the plan without communicating, get the information in writing. Send an email asking for specifics or timeline information. That way if something does change without being clearly communicated, you can refer back to the email to show the exact information you received.
No one should have to hunt you down
You never want someone to feel as though they have to hunt you down. If you want to cultivate relationships and establish trust, communicate clearly and in a timely manner. If someone feels as though they have to hunt you down to get an answer, they more than likely won’t want to work with you. Be the one to follow through with them! Follow up to a conversation, send a quick reminder for a meeting, or send an email with highlights from your previous phone call. If someone can see your reliability, this will help establish you as a reputable source and a good communicator.
_______________
Between social media, smart phones, and all the latest technology, millennials are often stereotyped for being completely connected, yet almost half of managers feel that recent graduates can’t clearly communicate. This statistic will make you rethink your communication skills, and make you want to be a better communicator. Make communication a priority, and it will help you stay on top of your tasks while also improving your reputation at work.
A native San Franciscan, Michele Lando is a Certified Professional Resume Writer and founder of writestylesonline.com. She has a passion for helping others present the best version of themselves, both on paper and in person, and works to polish individuals' application package and personal style. Aiming to help create a perfect personal branding package, Write Styles presents tips to enhance your resume, style, and boost your confidence.
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Links from our Group Chat
What we did while you were working.
Straight from our texts to you, we're introducing, #linksfromourgroupchat.
This is what we send each other back and forth all day. There's some serious sh*t. Some not-so straight-faced stuff. And some stuff to make you go hmmm.
Curl up on the couch. We've got your Sunday reading.
The most powerful Serena Williams pens a column on how black women can close the pay gap for Black Women's Equal Pay Day.
A hammock for your boobs? Yeah, some of us would wear the Ta-ta towel.
What did you want to be when you grew up? How about Women in Black? Protecting the planet from aliens. Thatsajob.
Have you been regramming photos on IG and not crediting? Read all the rules here.
"My buddy." Patti Smith pens a moving note to her friend writer Sam Shepard who passed away last week.
What '90s brand is making a major comeback and tapping this celeb stylist?
Millennials are going au naturel with their armpits.
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Live a Life Doing This With No Regrets
#noregrets.
As an undergraduate English major, I thought that nothing could matter more than books. I even told my family that books were my life, and it’s one of many things I most regret saying. After all, we read because we desire a connection with other people and saying that books are your life leaves those relationships out of view in a way that isn’t constructive.
Books are immersive, profound and often transcendent. They feature voices different from our own, reveal another’s consciousness and expose us to lives we’ve never lived. But books are only one part of our realities, meant to show us how to walk outside the pages and experience our life stories alongside other people. The connection between reading and real life is undeniable, but if we never use what we learn in books to help others, then we’re reducing our ability to live meaningfully.
Here are four ways to apply the lessons of fiction to real life:
Remember that character is the heart of fiction.
In several writing workshops, I’ve heard this time and again. Quite simply, the beginning of a book sets up a character and a situation that makes you want to continue the story. Regardless of whether you like a character, you’ll stick with them throughout the book if you find them interesting enough.
In real life, you will meet people who are different than you. Maybe you won’t get along with them at first, but every person you meet knows something that you don’t. Take the time to listen, just as you would to a new character in a book that you’re patiently reading. Sometimes we love the characters we read about, but other times we simply listen to and learn from their struggles. Let real life be a similar exercise.
John Cheever once wrote, “Fiction is art and art is the triumph over chaos … to celebrate a world that lies spread out around us like a bewildering and stupendous dream.” Sometimes reality can feel like chaos, but we succeed together when we celebrate the unique characters in our lives. Celebrate those different from you, and be open to meeting people in surprising places.
Bring the empathy you feel for characters into real life.
This study points to the fact that literary fiction improves a reader’s empathy and even undermines prejudices. Reading is so profound that it can even be used as therapy. Literary theorists have often supported this: As Virginia Woolf wrote, “Books are the mirrors of the soul.”
While most of us book lovers report being devastated that a character died, sometimes we don’t give the same care to people outside of books. While it’s okay to spend time in fictional worlds, use the character studies of great novels to remind you that everyone has struggles that are different from your own. Emerging from a book and listening to a real-life story can help you bond with other people and even consider solutions to problems that we still face.
Maybe you won’t get along with them at first, but every person you meet knows something that you don’t.
Use new metaphors to approach your life.
If you love classic literature, one of your favorite things is probably a brilliant metaphor or a carefully constructed sentence. After all, semantics matter and tired clichés don’t always accurately depict our lives. Ralph Waldo Emerson is right: “The world is emblematic. Parts of speech are metaphors because the whole of nature is a metaphor of the human mind.”
In the same sense, what we call people says much about how we view them. Metaphors often impact the way we approach life and decision-making. Labels and stereotypes can be damaging and should be changed to reflect the kaleidoscope of identity. Help others by advocating for the people in your life so they can identify with words that are unique to their experiences. If we bring metaphors outside of books and into the conversation, then they become meaningful tools to help others better understand different viewpoints.
Make time for other people.
Relationships make the world a better place. That’s why it’s okay to put your reading life on hold for your reality. If you can’t finish that book today, set it aside and spend some time with your family. You can always come back to the book later, but you may not get the same chance to be with the people you love.
Sometimes it’s tempting to turn to books as an escape, but instead, let them be your guide to the human spirit. Do this by sharing the books you read with those you care about. This is another way of making time for people.
It is said that art imitates life and life imitates art. But it may be more complicated than that. While books may contain life, they aren’t life itself. Let your love of books meet reality for a literary life that benefits others in return.
What has reading taught you about relationships with others?
The original version of this article appeared on Darling. Written by Kayla Dean.
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You'll Never Guess What Demo Is Running the Work Force
Hint: now put your hand up.
Single working women are the backbone for most professional organizations in America.
According to the Women in the Labor Force: 2015 Databook:
- 59% of women (over age 16) are employed
- 54.3% of employed women are unmarried (never married, other marital status, divorced, separated, widowed)
- Of the 67 million women employed in the U.S.— 74%of employed women worked on full-time jobs, while 26% worked on a part-time basis.
And in honor of National Single Working Women's Day, we wanted to dig into this a little bit more.
According to Hanna Rosin's "The End of Men and the Rise of Women," 2009 was the first year where the balance of the workforce "tipped toward women."
The senior editor at The Atlantic writes, "Women worldwide dominate colleges and professional schools on every continent except Africa. In the United States, for every two men who will receive a BA this year, for example, three women will do the same."
"Theoretically," she writes, "a twenty-seven- or twenty-eight-year-old woman with no children is at the top o the game. She is, on average, more educated than the men around her, and making more money." ("No children" is a key piece here and discussed below.)
What do you know about the American Matriarchy? In her book Rosin cites tech as one of the main reasons for the rise of the woman. "At some point in the last forty years," she writes, "the job market became largely indifferent to size and strength. Technology began to work against men, making certain jobs obsolete and making what economists call 'people skills,' ever more valuable. For the first time in history, the global economy is becoming a place where women are finding more success than men."
In Rebecca Traister's NY-Times best-seller, "All the Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation," she addresses Rosin's findings. "While some women are enjoying more educational, professional, sexual, and social freedom than ever before, many more of them are struggling, living in a world marked by inequity, disadvantage, discrimination, and property. It's crucial to unpack what's true and what's not true about female advancement--and single female advancement-- across classes, rich, poor, and in between."
One of those factors that cannot be ignored is single motherhood. The Times article, the Disestablishment of Marriage, reports that 60 percent of American women who have their first babies before thirty have them out of wedlock. Traister says that, "the economic ramifications of having children are of course felt most keenly by unmarried mothers; a staggering 42 percent of people in families headed by single mothers live below the poverty line."
But single women are upending tradition. And that's power. "Their growing presence has an impact on how economic, political, and sexual power is distributed between the genders." Single women overwhelmingly voted for President Barack Obama. Single women are changing the definition of family, which directly impacts social policy. "Women," writes Traister, "perhaps those who have lived untethered from the energy-sucking and identity-sapping institution of marriage in its older forms, have helped drive social progress of this country since it's founding."
Women living without marriage are more able to be both professionally and economically than ever before.
Cheers to you badasses. Today is your day.
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5 Women of Color You Need to Follow on IG Right Now
You're missing out.
Fact: Women of color are dominating the business world. They represent the fastest-growing group of entrepreneurs in the U.S.
According to Fortune “black women are the fastest-growing group of entrepreneurs in the U.S.” A 2015 report found “women own 30% of businesses in the U.S.” Of that, women of color own 14% of these companies. Hello! The facts are all here. From clothing lines to nonprofits to tech startups, let’s just say these 5 women of color are KILLING the entrepreneurial game. You are going to want to follow them ASAP. Here’s why.
1. Morgan Debaun
Company: CEO and Founder of Blavity
About: @MorganDebaun, the founder of @blavity, is a forward-thinking black millennial who is pushing the boundaries of culture and the status quo. As @blavity’s Founder + CEO, Morgan is disrupting traditional media by creating a (much needed) world class community of diverse creators + influencers.
2. Gabrielle Deculus
Company: Founder of Business Rules for Women
About: @BusinessRulesforWomen is a mega media platform making life easier for the emerging entrepreneur. @Gabrielle.Deculus has created an online business community for women that is guaranteed to help you succeed. Looking to grow and expand your business? Business Rules for Women will give you all the tactics, tools, and connections you need to be successful.
3. Grace Mahary
Company: Project Tsehigh- Clean Energy For All
About: Not only can @GraceMahary rock the runway, but she’s the founder and executive director of @ProjectTsehigh. This nonprofit organization has one goal: to decrease global energy and improve the quality of life for impoverished families. Using her entrepreneurial skills, she has worked passionately over the last four years to help get closer to accomplishing her goal. This powerhouse is a force to be reckoned with.
4. Carly Cushnie
Company: Co-Founder and Designer for Cushnie et Ochs
About: @CarlyCushnie is changing the game of fashion. The co-founder and designer for @CushnieetOchs has been featured on Forbes’ “30 Under 30 List,” and she is not stopping there. According to Complex, Carly is showing us how to “let a woman’s most feminine side shine.” She is bringing her beautiful, most alluring seductive side to the runway making Cushnie et Ochs a forefront in the fashion world.
5. Kitty Cash
Company: Founder of “The I Am Woman Project”
About: A successful fashion publicist and DJ? What more could she do? Well, @kittycash is at it again. The successful DJ Kitty has created a multi-media platform for women looking for some motivation and celebration. The @iamwomanproject is an online community to empower women. DJ Kitty Cash is doing it all, and we can’t wait to watch the @iamwomanproject grow.
These 5 #powerhouse women of color are not only rocking the world of business, but are working to make the world a better place. Now it’s your turn to contribute. Add some daily inspiration into your life and follow the journey’s of these amazing women. We can’t wait to watch their growing success, can you?
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C&C Classifieds Nø 50: The Infatuation, Refinery29, HBO & More
Who's ready to get paid?
5-0 in this case is your lucky number. For our 50th batch of Classifieds we are bringing you some bangers. So if you need some job inspo to get you through this hump day, we've got you.
Scroll through and apply to your dream J-O-B today.
The Infatuation-- NY, NY
Odacite - Van Nuys, CA
Refinery29 - NY, NY
Framebridge - Washington, DC
HBO - Seattle, WA
Go Daddy - Seattle, WA
Sign Language: How to Deal with a Leo Boss
Not DiCaprio. Or DaVinci.
photo credit: Borrelli Illustrations (front); Elle (top)
If you follow J.Lo on Instagram, you know it’s #LeoSeason. But what does that mean for your office? If you have a Leo Boss there are certain traits you have come to expect, but are you adept at navigating the ups and downs of the Lion sign?
Luckily, we speak Leo. And we speak boss.
Date range: July 23rd-August 22nd
Strengths: Loyal, Determined, Confident, Encouraging & Ambitious
Weaknesses: Fragile ego, Gullible, Melodramatic, Stubborn & Vain
Famous Leos: President Barack Obama, Jennifer Lopez, Madonna, Sandra Bullock
Everyone knows that Leos are loyal, but they are also the King of the Jungle (or Queen, depending on your preference). So that means you better be prepared to give your loyalty as well. Leos are known for having big hearts and your back, but that makes them susceptible to betrayal. Some Leos are too kind for their own good, but don’t mistake kindness for naivete. Leos know what they want and feel powerful and strong to go after it.
With a Leo boss this can sometimes come off as bossy or authoritarian. More Scar, less Simba. But if you give your loyalty, you’ll also be given challenges-- those that you’ll be expected to meet. If you do the spoils to the victor go. Meaning, this is where the generosity of the Leo boss kicks in. Though they crave the limelight and might publically take credit for the success, feel secure that behind the scenes your boss will want to take care of you. If you also crave the spotlight, be prepared to step out of the way and let your boss take this one.
You don’t want to take advantage of your boss’ generosity because it can backfire. Leos are also known for their extreme loyalty, but if you do something to betray that loyalty, you’re going to catch the wrong side wrath. However, Leos don’t hold onto grudges. So the best thing you can do in an instance where you’ve taken advantage of your boss’ trust in you is work hard to rebuild that trust. A Leo will give you a second change, but you have to prove yourself just like they would.
They want to achieve the impossible. This can be encouraging and inspiring to people around them. It can also sometimes feel like there is no way to complete a task. Don’t be discouraged by your boss’ go hard or go home attitude. Learn how to navigate their expectations and you will be in Leos good graces.
Taking charge comes naturally to a Leo. So If you’re losing your footing at work, look to your loyal leader. They will always be willing to lead you to safety-- or to the other side of a presentation, but watch out for their competitive side. You don’t need to compete with your boss.
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Nail Your Next Presentation with These 4 Secret Tricks from Experts
You haven't even thought of this.
The gift of gab. Some of us have it, others don’t. Still more elusive is the gift of talking ON STAGE. That’s right, in front of people. Not the mirror. And gabbing is the opposite of what you want to do when you present to a room.
With a mic in hand you need to paint a picture, tell a story, and engage your audience with a straightforward but compelling presentation. How you might ask?
Well, we just went to Spotlight Presentation Academy to find out HOW to create WOW moments.
With the help of the pros at Logitech and TED (you know, those talks you watch at work), we recently got schooled on the art of the presentation. Yes, it is an art. One that is greatly enhanced by Logitech’s Spotlight Presentation Remote, which just so happens to be the preferred presentation remote of TED. It also happens to be the preferred remote of Jaclyn Johnson, Create & Cultivate founder and recent Academy attendee. Why wouldn’t you want to use what the pros do and present like never before?
So we’re dishing (because when we’re not on stage, gabbing about career is so our vibe.)
1. Your speech should be a GIFT to the AUDIENCE.
First things first: the content. You need to make people pay attention. And to do that the first question you should ask yourself is: What are you giving them and what are they receiving? This presentation is NOT about you. Sure it can feel that way when you’re in prep mode, but if you want the audience to take away the magic, you need to take yourself out of the pic.
So get into the audience’s head. Walk out and don’t say hello, simply START. And remember: generic is the opposite of memorable.
2. Moving with INTENTION, means MOVING AROUND without fear.
Energy is crucial, you must walk out on stage and change the energy of the room. (Which, remember, is why you should walk out and START. No “hellos” needed.) At TED, it’s what they call the “TED moment” and it’s when you realize you’re in the presence of something truly unique. To engage during the presentation— you need to be able to move around. But you want to make sure you’re confident, in control, and not stressing whether slides are changing or video links are playing. That’s where Logitech comes in. With their new Spotlight Presentation Remote you have total control. Features include: professional slide navigation control, highlight and magnify buttons, and even a timer with a vibration alert. Below Jaclyn shares her favorite features and why.
Highlight: With this feature you can point to a specific feature, data point, or part of an image and call it out. ‘The best part,” says Jaclyn, “is you don’t have to turn around and point— you can stay facing forward-- and make eye contact with those TWO people in the back-- without losing momentum. The moment you lose momentum you lose the crowd.”
Magnify: if you have a photo with interesting details, or something you want to zoom in on, you can magnify and that will help load up and emphasize the content. “I always want to use bright and bold visuals. Being able to magnify, helps the presentation come alive,” shares Jaclyn.
Cursor Control: if you’re embedding video or links, you can play video with the simple click of the button. “No stress, no fear,” says Jaclyn.
Timing: Jaclyn says, “Timing is everything. And you never want to worry if you’re running out of time or have too much time. That can be a speech KILLER.” With a built-in vibration alert, you’ll always hit your mark.
3. You absolutely have to practice your “body work.”
It’s not only about your content, it’s also about your body language. Which means you need to stand up straight and be confident with your posture in a way that allows people to BELIEVE in what you’re saying. If you don’t believe in you,they never will. Here are four more amazing tips to think about:
Speak from your diaphragm
Try to make eye contact with at LEAST 5 people in the front and at LEAST 2 people in the back
Practice your speech standing on newspaper, the more the crunching you hear the more you are moving
4. Move with intention (speak with intention as well)
You don’t want to use slides as a crutch because then they become the focal point of the presentation. They should ADD to what you’re saying, not distract. They should be the exclamation point to what you’re saying! Here are some ways you can make that happen:
- When picking photos don’t use the most obvious — think about how you can illicit the same feeling without being so on the nose... Ask yourself what’s your data your anecdote, or your metaphor. Metaphors are a great creative tool to push the boundaries and make your presentation stand out.
Always use big, beautiful photography. And stretch the image the full length of the slide. Don’t simply drag, drop, and assume it’s going to look good. This is a great place to use the magnifying feature on the Spotlight Presentation Remote. You can highlight and call attention to specific spots. Same goes for text-- discussed in the next section.
Think about your typefaces and how they’ll look from the audience. You need to make it really clear. You want the audience to be able to see the text-- so stay away from cursive or any typeface that may look cool, but makes your legibility go down. All caps gives off a certain feeling— maybe that’s a good thing, maybe you want to convey anger or excitement. You can also mix up two typefaces and de-emphasize the words that are less important. It all matters.
Have other tips on public speaking that you want to share? Comment below!
photo credit: Ryan Lash / TED
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Exclusive Interview: Meet the Woman Behind a Billion Dollar Biz
Plus a totally exclusive Clinque giveaway.
As the granddaughter of Estée Lauder, the co-founder of the cosmetics company Estée Lauder Companies, Jane Lauder grew up on the front lines of the beauty industry. Today she serves Clinique as Global Brand President.
"It’s my aesthetic," Lauder shares of the iconic American brand. "It’s so simple but so incredibly effective." Working with such an iconic brand can be challenging, but Lauder maintains that “when my grandmother started this company and for her it was always about quality. Quality never goes out of style. Brands come and rise up, but people always come back to quality."
"Quality never goes out of style."
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Prior to her leadership role with Clinique, she oversaw the Origins, Ojon and Darphin brands. Under her leadership, Origins, grew significantly and expanded globally. And yet, she's returned to her Clinique roots, the brand she first worked with when joining the company in 1996.
"It’s always modern. It never feel dated, it always feels relevant," she says. "I've always loved the simplicity. It looks so simple but everything going on underneath is what makes it so impactful. It’s kind of like your iPhone, it looks so chic but it’s all the things behind-the-scenes that make it that simple."
Most recently Clinique collaborated with beloved designer Jonathan Adler on #CLINIQUExADLER, an exclusive new makeup collection styled by the design guru. "We are always looking at brands that we want to collaborate with, Lauder says. "Brands that have the same aesthetic and that are great American icon brands." How Clinique decides on partnerships is fairly simple. "We sit as a team and put down on paper the people we think are incredible and would love to work with. Sometimes it works." Adler was top of the list. Beyond his obvious style chops, Lauder notes that Adler's "tiny treasures, big pleasures," idea is what Clinique makeup is all about. (Scroll through the below album for exclusive pics from our Create & Cultivate brunch with Clinique at Jonathan Adler's Shelter Island home.)
"It’s so important that we’re really listening to what these women want," she explains. "The hardest part about this brand is that people fall in love with a product and they take it super personally if you try and discontinue anything. Even if it’s only 300 people that are buying it, it’s really hard for us to move onto something else. We only discontinue something that we’re sure we're replacing with something better. You never get rid of the classics, but we are constantly thinking about how to make our products better. WE always want to TOP ourselves.”
That includes the collection with Adler. This marks his first foray into beauty. Inspired by '60s pop and Adler's signature geometric and poppy style, Lauder says, the collection includes "A simple silver case that can give you so much pleasure with the right color in it." She also "obsessed" with the brushes, gushing, "I love all the colors and wear all of them, but the brushes, I gotta have those pink brushes." The collection also includes several of Clinique’s best-selling makeup products in standout summer shades. His inspiration? His inspiration? “That iconic Clinique green has always signified freshness,” says Adler. “I wanted the collection to be bright, bold and fresh, and make women feel more glamorous.” Check the limited edition collection out here. (And enter to win a giveaway below.)
As for the brand, Lauder says, "We’re really trying to figure out who the Clinique customer is— every woman has had a piece of Clinique or used it. We’re noticing that the more mature millennial is our sweet spot-- a lot of women who are now taking care of their skin and going through life changes. They are getting married, having children, working, and there is so much going on in their that they want something that is a simple routine but gives them a remarkable result. Quality and effectiveness, but also that’s real.
Admitting that she had acne as a girl, Lauder knows that, "Skin is super personal and really emotional. When you wake up with great skin it’s really transformational."
"When you wake up with great skin it’s really transformational."
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And it always comes back to quality. "For us, whenever we’re creating anything it has to be of the highest quality. They have to be collaborators of the highest quality. Whatever we create has our name on the packages. As a company that is the most important thing.”
5 Super Inspiring Women Share Their Need-to-Read Mottos
Purely positive and kickass.
photo credit: We the People
Are you looking for a some weekend inspo to help you kickass at business and life? We rounded up five our favorite ladies' mottos and words to live by.
TONI KO, Founder NYX & Perverse
Starting a business as a 25-year old minority female without any experience running a company was a huge risk in itself. My life motto has always been, “Go big or go home,” closely followed by “do or die.” A lot of the time, I just go for it! I purposely put myself in situations that force me to face my fears, and by doing so, I’m forced to deal with the repercussions, the founder told Career Contessa.
My father always said he wanted to raise his children “Spartan Style,” where only the strongest survive. He definitely succeeded. I am an extremely mentally and emotionally strong woman who isn’t afraid to take risks. I truly believe that taking risks is the only way to grow as an individual.
MAYA ANGELOU, POET
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life’s a bitch. You’ve got to go out and kick ass.
TINA FEY, WRITER, ACTRESS, PRODUCER
“When faced with sexism or ageism or lookism or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: ‘Is this person in between me and what I want to do?’ If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way. Then, when you’re in charge, don’t hire the people who were jerky to you.” via Bossypants
GRETCHEN CARLON, former FOX NEWS ANCHOR
The lesson in the dream isn’t whether our fight to get to the top is for something big or small. It’s to realize that a good, happy life isn’t just handed to us. We need to work for it. We need to strap on the heavy bags and take the first step forward in the long journey up the mountain. Yes, we’ll all sweat, complain and wish we were somewhere else (maybe on that beach in Nice…). But we’ll also develop the strength to say: “I’ll make it to the top — no matter what.” via Motto
JANET MOCK, AUTHOR
"For me, it’s always been Maya Angelou. Her work, her memoirs, have always been building blocks for me. She’s also been a blueprint to go out and say that #1: My life story is worthy of being heard, #2: I can write it myself, I don’t have to give it to someone else, and #3: There’s more than one book about my life experiences and yes, you can be a memoirist and you can do it in a literary form that is also accessible. She was super important to me." via Medium
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Mandy Moore Is So Over Doing This
We all do it. (And we're over it too.)
In January of this year wearing a blue sweatshirt with the words, "For most of history Anonymous was a woman," across her chest and a pink "pussy" hat, actress Mandy Moore, joined a reported fellow 750,000 women, men, and children at the Women's March in Downtown Los Angeles.
Though the pop "Candy" songstress turned Golden Globe nominated actress has received accolades for her current work on This Is Us on NBC, Moore took the streets as if to say, This, Is ALL of US. "What a way to celebrate the collective energy of so many people unwilling to sit idly by. One for the books," the award nominee wrote on her Instagram. Not what some would expect from a former TRL charter, but crushing career stereotypes is part of her repertoire.
Moore escaped the standard downward spiral of a young-to-fame pop princess. When critics said she was simply “too nice,” she kept working, at times typecast, but steadily building her acting career. Since her debut in role in 2001 as the voice of a Girl Bear Cub in Dr. Doolittle 2, Moore has been cast in over twenty films. She managed to keep her 2015 divorce relatively private. And steers clear of the pomp and circumstance of Hollywood. Maybe it's that angelic smile that keeps her floating above the drama, or the fact that Moore keeps her head as firmly attached to her shoulders as her feet to the ground. “At 32 years old, I feel a comfort in my own skin and a sense of determination in my choices that I thought I had all along but really I had no idea,” the actress admits. "There’s no substitute for time or the wisdom and clarity that comes with it. I’ve been working hard to quit apologizing for things I have no control over or no business apologizing for in the first place.”
Or perhaps it’s the lessons she’s kept tucked in her toolkit from her teen years in a notoriously sexist music industry. “Surround yourself with GOOD people,” she says. “I’m lucky enough to have a stable and supportive foundation when it comes to my family and friends so I’ve always attributed that as being the most critical piece of the puzzle. Beyond that, always, always, always trust your gut. When in doubt, DON’T.”
"Always, always, always trust your gut. When in doubt, DON’T.”
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Those women include a stellar squad of empowered women who, Moore says, have “shown me that there’s so much value in learning how to say no, staying true to your vision and finding the courage to take risks.” And her mom, who sent her daughter a pillow the morning of the Globes embroidered with the phrase, “so believed she could so she did.” That she has.
At present, the low-maintenance performer's risks include making active and bold choices in her life and career, something that wasn’t always the case. “Like a lot of people,” she explains, “I allowed fear to govern my life for a period. I became exceptionally good at making myself and my needs as minuscule as possible as not to disturb other parts of my life. Once I realized that those broken patterns weren’t leading me where I wanted to go, I leaned into the pain, embraced change and started owning my power.” Whether she’s singing, acting, or marching down Broadway, the choices she’s making are her own.
The industry, and the viewers who turned out in droves to watch This Is Us last fall, are taking notice. With a radical 89% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes and a two-season renewal from the network, things are looking sweet for Moore. But she’s not taking any of it for granted. “Having a job that inspires and challenges me as much as this one does is all of the reward I could ask for. Having said that, this is a WHOLE new world to me and it’s equal parts mind-blowing and humbling. I keep reminding myself to be in the moment and that it’s ok to really appreciate it and not write it off too quickly.”
We suggest taking a similar approach to Moore and her career, wherever that particular march may take her.
Arianna Schioldager is Editor-in-Chief at Create & Cultivate. You can follow her @ariannawrotethis.
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C&C Classifieds Nº49: sweetgreen, Leaf Group, Box Fox & More
It's a beautiful day for a job hunt.
photo credit: Word to the Woman
You know what time it is! Job hunt time. We've freshened up this week with new job offerings from a few of our favorite companies. Check out the listings below and if you're feeling friendly, share you cover letter lips in the comments. Good luck!
SWEETGREEN
BOX FOX -- LOS ANGELES, CA
THE CAVIAR COMPANY -- SAN FRANCISCO, CA
DBA -- WEST HOLLYWOOD, CA