All the Things Pregnant and Working Mothers Are Doing Wrong

Photo credit: Pexels 

Photo credit: Pexels 

Written by: Jane Helpern 

Women! If you think they're bad, just wait until they deign to bring a tiny, helpless human into the world and then attempt to receive meager compensation from their employer for it. Whether it's a basic survival tactic like drinking water or a more complicated endeavor such as carrying on a career, they deserve to be exiled. Or worse. Here, a list of 54 things pregnant women and working moms are doing all wrong.

Taking maternity leave

Returning to work too quickly

Eating licorice

Drinking water

Drinking tea

Coloring their hair


Staying home

Def working

Def staying home

Eating fish

Not eating fish

Watching what they eat

Kegeling wrong

Doing kegels. 


Poor sleep


Not breastfeeding

Breastfeeding at work

Owning cats

Being stressed

Being young

Being old

Def being old

Def being young

Being single

Drinking coffee

Earning more than their husband


Using hairspray

Traveling to Mexico

Consuming a single drop of alcohol

Working overtime

Working 32 hrs a week or more

Lying on their back

Being Beyonce

Wearing heels

Wearing Spanx

Drinking Diet Coke

Going to Subway


Being in a heatwave

Being Chrissy Teigen

Eating cereal

Eating organic

Having a night nurse

Exposure to secondhand smoke prior to conception

Wearing makeup

Letting themselves go


Not enough salad

Being Kim Kardashian

Having heartburn.

Jane Helpern is a freelance writer, copywriter, and founder of Jane Says Agency. She enjoys helping brands find their voice, writing about fashion and feminism, and walking-at-an-incline-with-wine™