Living Limitless–Chante Burkett

What do you love most about yourself––what are you most proud of?

I love my strength and perseverance! Powering through tough times and being able to be the rock for my daughter. I’m really proud of my strength and my vision in life.

Is confidence something that came naturally to you or was it something you had to learn?

I’ve always had confidence, it was one of those things “If I don’t love myself, who else is going to love me”

What does confidence feel like to you? When do you feel the most confident?

For me confidence is all about being comfortable with where you are currently in life. Comfortable being you, comfortable in your skin and comfortable in whatever clothing you choose to wear. I feel the most confident when my life is in balance.

How has your confidence changed with time?

When it comes to confidence I feel like we all have or days when we don’t feel the best and might not be so confident. That's why it’s very important to check in on your mental and don’t be so hard on yourself.

Role models are important for women of all ages–is there anyone in particular whose confidence or advice helped you find your own inner beauty?

My grandmother is my biggest role model who helped see my inner beauty at an early age (7). I would sit and watch her (a plus-size woman) get ready for our family functions. I loved how she carried herself and how all eyes would turn on her she could walk into a room. It was definitely her confidence.

Words are powerful, and they can have a powerful effect on our own personal narratives–what advice can you share on learning how to combat negative self-talk and tap into the power of positivity?

Whenever I feel myself going down the hole of negative self-talk I try to focus on the things I love about myself. We will forever have those days when we just aren’t feeling ourselves but that's what positive self talk is for. I also try to journal my negativity away.

Who do you turn to for support in life? Describe how they bring out the best in you and empower you to live your life without limits?

Believe it or not, my father is the person in the life who I run to for support. He reminds me of who I am and what I can do.

What advice can you share for women on cultivating confidence and self-love?

I think the key to self love is learning to be selfish. Knowing that it is ok to set boundaries and it’s important to take time to yourself.

How do you make time to prioritize self-love and self-care?

Self-love/Self-care is a top priority in my life. I map out time for just me daily and once a month I treat myself. It’s important to not only love on yourself but to also take care of yourself.

Living Limitless–Kristina Zias

What do you love most about yourself––what are you most proud of? 

I love that I truly accept myself, the good, the bad and everything in between. I am most proud of my persistence.  I’ve always believed in myself and am very determined.

What has motherhood taught you––and how has it changed you?

Motherhood has taught me patience, unconditional love and that “balance” is unrealistic.  As a working mom, something always has to give and realizing that I can’t be 100% in career mode and mom mode at the same time has allowed me to be more forgiving and patient.

Is confidence something that came naturally to you in motherhood or was it something you had to learn?

Confidence came very naturally to me.  I somehow knew what I was doing and when I didn’t, I wasn’t afraid to ask for help or admit that I didn’t know what I was doing.  

What does confidence feel like to you? When do you feel the most confident?

Confidence feels like a weight lifted off my shoulders.  Being confident is incredibly freeing.  I feel the most confident when I overcome any challenges.

How has your confidence changed with time?

Confidence is a journey and mine has definitely ebbed and flowed. As a teenager, and even in my early 20s, I was very insecure in my body and am proud that now I look at my body with such respect and appreciation.  

Do you ever have moments where you feel insecure?  What helps you to overcome this?

Of course!  I think a lot of times people view insecurities as the antithesis of confidence but I couldn’t disagree more.  Acknowledging my insecurities and working past them is a form of confidence for me and the first step to overcoming them!  Honestly, I’ve been a bit insecure about my breasts since having my son.  They have just changed so much and I wasn’t really doing anything about it, but, getting virtually fitted by Elomi, and now being in a proper fitting bra is such a game changer!  I noticed a change instantaneously!  

Who do you turn to for support in life? Describe how they bring out the best in you and empower you to live your life without limits?

I turn to my husband, my family and friends!  My husband is a big picture guy.  I am a co-founder of The Confident Collective, a women’s empowerment community, and after a successful launch party (we hosted 80 people), he said we should aim to make our future events like Coachella.  When he said that I laughed but he quickly made me feel like it was totally possible, and you know what, he’s right.

How do we raise confident children? What are some ways we can aim to be a positive role model as a parent?

By practicing what you preach, leading by example and letting them know that with hard work anything is possible. I actually recently heard this parenting tip on tiktok (I know, so deep) but it really stuck with me.  Whenever my son does something new or something I am proud of I say, “you should be so proud of yourself” instead of “I am so proud of you.”  I think this little shift in verbiage makes such a big difference!

Living Limitless–Maxey Greene

What do you love most about yourself––what are you most proud of?

My drive. I’ve always been so passionate about my work and my career. I’ve been working hard for a long time and actually feared being a mom might slow me down, but I’m finding my balance and I’m actually really proud of that! But career wise- I launched a clothing collaboration this year with Hutch & Nuuly. It was a dream of mine for a very long time and it felt amazing seeing it come alive.

What has motherhood taught you––and how has it changed you?

You got to go with the flow. I feel like I used to be pretty rigid before my son. With a kid- you can try all you want to have things go a certain way or a certain schedule, but at the end of the day you kind of just have to roll with it.

Is confidence something that came naturally to you in motherhood or was it something you had to learn?

My instincts kicked in incredibly fast. I actually kind of shocked myself. There are definitely moments where I think “what the hell am I doing?” but anytime I look at him and he smiles his big gummy smile- I know I’m doing something right.

What does confidence feel like to you? When do you feel the most confident?

Confidence feels like freedom. Feeling insecure makes you feel anxious and that you just want to hide away. When you don’t feel that way- you can just feel so free. Free to just be you.

How has your confidence changed with time?

I definitely find myself getting even more confident as I get older. I think it has less to do with appearance and more to do with just being secure with who you are. Looks will keep changing, but when your secure with your core self- you kind of flow with the changes.

Do you ever have moments where you feel insecure? What helps you to overcome this?

Of course. Every one has insecurities- it’s what makes us human. I try not to focus too hard on it. I put my attention on things I don’t feel insecure about.

Who do you turn to for support in life? Describe how they bring out the best in you and empower you to live your life without limits?

My partner, Daniel, is my support. I couldn’t imagine not having him cheering me on everyday. He makes me feel capable of anything. His words motivate me, but just knowing that he’s by my side makes me feel like I can accomplish anything.

Living Limitless–Rochelle Johnson

What do you love most about yourself––what are you most proud of?

I love my heart the most. I’m very empathetic and I automatically think about how my actions and words will affect others. I’m also very independent. It’s one of the attributes I learned from my mother and very grateful for. 

What has motherhood taught you––and how has it changed you?

Motherhood has taught me soooo many things. First and foremost it has taught me to never judge the actions of other mothers. It can be so damaging when that judgement is vocalized. I also have learned how to advocate for my children and trust my instincts.  Which can be hard as a more soft spoken person but I know that If I don’t advocate for them, no one will!

Is confidence something that came naturally to you in motherhood or was it something you had to learn?

Confidence in motherhood definitely has to be learned. I was so scared and unsure with my first baby it took a while to enjoy the moments. It was so hard. This time around I’m so much more confident and know that I have everything I need to handle any situation that comes.

What does confidence feel like to you? When do you feel the most confident?

Confidence is not constantly feeling bad about yourself, more specifically your body and how you take up space. Confidence is walking into a room of people that you don’t know, or that don’t look like you and not shrinking down. It’s knowing you belong and you deserve to take up space. I feel most confident when I have an outfit on that I really love, and that helps give you a boost when you walk into that room.

How has your confidence changed with time?

When I was a teenager I looked different from my friends and no one really wants to be different at that age. I honestly had great friends that never made me feel bad about my size but at the same time was insecure because they were all thin, and I wasn’t.  Now I’m a lot more confident because even though I could be the largest person in the room, and I don’t care. I just don’t think about that.  

Do you ever have moments where you feel insecure?  What helps you to overcome this?

I’m most insecure around people that I’m not familiar with. I normally have to give myself a pep talk before I arrive or once I’m there. I tell myself, you’re supposed to be here. You are worthy. I also try to remind self to be open to new places and new people.

Who do you turn to for support in life? Describe how they bring out the best in you and empower you to live your life without limits?

I turn to my husband who is also my best friend for support. He’s one of the people in the world that really knows me. When I talk to him about anything I know he’s going to give me good advice and if I don’t like his advice I will turn to google, lol.  

Living Limitless–Caralyn Mirand Koch

What do you love most about yourself––what are you most proud of?

I love that I can help transform someone's confidence, that is one of my most favorite skills.
Career wise, I am most proud of the online community I've built filled with supportive, helpful and kind people and the #ProperlyFittingBraClub! It's a movement I started to educate and empower women to get a properly fitting bra. 

What does confidence feel like to you? When do you feel the most confident?

I genuinely used to think that I would wake up one day and just magically be confident. I now know confidence isn’t something that is automatic. You can’t just turn on confidence as confidence is rooted in your belief of yourself at any given time. It is something to be conscious of and work at everyday. Think of being, feeling confident like a muscle memory - the more you use it, the more familiar and stronger it will become.

How has your confidence changed with time?

 If there’s one thing I think we all have in common is that everyone has struggled with feeling confident at one time or another in life. Confidence varies from experience to experience, among genders, and can be fleeting, situational, or rooted. Heck, there are still moments when I struggle with confidence about my body, my career, and life in general... I certainly do not have it all figured out and realizing that allows me to recognize the journey, and hopefully can be helpful to you by sharing. 

Words are powerful, and they can have a powerful effect on our own personal narratives–what advice can you share on learning how to combat negative self-talk and tap into the power of positivity?  

Confidence is rooted in self-love. It is really my job to love me first, before anyone else, and before I can well receive love. True self-love involves showing up for yourself even when you feel unlovable, or shameful. Take steps to listen to yourself, identify what caused you to not be able to clearly identify your needs or boundaries. This helps me to feel good about me.

Something I've learned is to speak to myself kindly and lovingly, like I would to a young child (my sweet niece comes to mind). Would I tell my niece that she is a fat, ugly, worthless person? Typing that gave me shivers. I would never, and I do not think any of you would either. So why should I say that to myself or you say that to yourself? On the days when we are down & feeling low, and we all have them, I am particularly aware of that self-talk and strive to always keep it positive.

Who do you turn to for support in life? Describe how they bring out the best in you and empower you to live your life without limits?

My husband, Brian! He is truly my best friend and teammate through everything. He inspires me to be the best version of myself, challenges me and provides some comedic relief through it all.

What advice can you share for women on cultivating confidence and self-love?

Life is a journey, with confidence being a major influencing factor! We all are traveling on our own path, at our own rate. It is not a sprint but a marathon, and I’m here to cheer you on. Know you are worthy! Feel good about you and be proud of who and where you are. Embrace you, as I do! I know how hard it can be at times so by me sharing my journey you'll know you are never alone!

How do you make time to prioritize self-love and self-care?

I'm a strong believer in setting healthy boundaries for myself, and in my relationships and professional life. Having healthy boundaries allows me to make myself a priority, in self-care, career aspirations, or within relationships. Setting boundaries is about giving yourself agency and empowerment. Honoring our limits helps us to take better care of ourselves which leads to feeling confident.

Need to Read Now: ABC Shark & Investor Calls Out Men Big Time

What else do women have to do to be taken seriously?

Seriously. 

We're still battling egregious sexism in tech and finance. This week made the blatantly clear. And earlier today, Chris Sacca, a former American venture investor (he was an early investor in Twitter and Uber), and ABC Shark Tanker with a front-seat to the happenings in Silicon Valley published the following essay on Medium. (We encourage everyone to click and read the whole thing.)

A crucial except reads:

“In my mind, because I hadn’t acted in a way that exploited an imbalance of power or vulnerability in a VC-founder relationship, I’ve generally considered myself one of the “good guys.

But’s that’s the crucial lesson I am learning right now in real-time: It’s the unrelenting, day-to-day culture of dismissiveness that creates a continually bleak environment for women and other underrepresented groups. I contributed to that, and am thus responsible for the unfairly harder road that everyone other than white men must travel in our industry.

I am sorry.

It’s also become clear to me that I didn’t consistently use my power and influence to call out bad behavior by industry peers. The passive acceptance of exclusionary words and deeds is not okay.”

To this we say YES, but we also want to know why? Is it something we said? Or wore? Or didn’t. Does misogyny and gender-biased investing really run that deep? Yeah, it does and a vital element of what Sacca is saying is that even well-meaning men are part of the sexist hamster wheel. To this we say: work harder. The investor is going on record that “As a white guy, even before I made any money, I benefitted from extensive privilege.” 

A privilege not afforded to women or any minority. 

"Even well-meaning men are part of the sexist hamster wheel."

Tweet this.  

Outspoken entrepreneur, founder and CEO of MakeLoveNotPorn and self-professed “Michael Bay of Business,” (she blows shit up) Cindy Gallop took to her Twitter in praise of Sacca’s words. Gallup tweeted: “Tech world has missed out on many female-founded potential unicorns bc of systemic bias + sexual harassment.”  

It’s a bias that runs through almost every single meeting. Even though, as Austin mayor Steve Adler pointed out at the beginning of June in response to an angry letter about a female-only screening of Wonder Woman, “What if someone thought you didn’t know that women invented medical syringes, life rafts, fire escapes, central and solar heating, a war-time communications system for radio-controlling torpedoes that laid the technological foundations for everything from Wi-Fi to GPS, and beer?”

Yeah, what if. Again, is there something else we need to do to be taken seriously? More beer? Better GPS to steer you away from your sexism?

Earlier this month, Neil Blumenthal, co-founder and CEO of Warby Parker, told the crowd at inaugural Vanity Fair Summit that as his wife, Rachel Blumenthal, was securing funding for her company Rockets of Awesome her experience was vastly different than his. “When my wife was raising money,” the CEO shared with the crowd, “every male VC would ask, ‘How do you spend your time?’ She would say, ‘What do you mean?’ What they meant was, ‘You have kids.’” This was always a deterrent for male investors. Neil went on to say, “When I raised money VCs would use kids as a reason to bond with me. ‘Oh I have a great nanny recommendation.’ It’s insanity.”

Here’s ONE of the many problems woman face: it’s the every damn day micro-aggression (like those that Sacca refers to) that make women question their own competence. Micro-aggressions grind slow, but they grind fine. And they make us wonder if we truly do deserve a seat a the table. Or the money. Or the position. (Yes, we do.) But it’s hard to continually pump yourself up, when the world around you wants to bring you down. Or when we have a sitting President calling out a woman’s supposed freakin’ facelift on his Twitter. Talk matters. 

"Micro-aggressions grind slow, but they grind fine."

Tweet this.

So does putting your money where your mouth is. Investing in female-led and diversified companies IS the future. Those who aren't on board are welcome to fall off the ship. Men aren’t owed a life-preserver at this point. 

Women like 52-year-old former Wall Street maven, Sallie Krawcheck know this. Krawcheck who once ran such elite institutions as Merrill Lynch, Bank of America, and Smith Barney, is leveraging her 30 plus years of professional expertise to help women build and invest wealth and “unleash women’s financial power.” With Ellevest, Krawcheck is on a mission to close what she calls the “gender investment gap,” an extension of better-known disparities such as the gender pay gap and the gender debt gap. “I have become truly convinced that getting more money into the hands of women is a positive for everyone,” explains Krawcheck, asserting that the “gender investment gap” costs professional women hundreds of thousands of dollars, if not more, over their lifetimes. “Closing this gap helps the women themselves, but also their families, society, and businesses. It also solves a lot of society's problems: for example, the retirement savings crisis is actually a women's crisis, given how much longer we live then men (and that we retire with less money than they do).”

Cindy Whitehead, CEO and founder of the Pink Ceiling is on the same mission. “What rips the sheets off in the morning for me is fighting injustices," the CEO shares. "It is an injustice that women get 2% of funding. It’s a ridiculous idea that half of the population only has 2% of the good ideas.”

They say a woman’s work is never done. But not this time. This time men should heed the words of Sacca and put in the work.

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The *ONE* Word These 7 Women Want You to Stop Using

photo by The Effortless Chic

Every woman has her choice go-to 'pause' word.

The phrase that fills in moments when we're filled with doubt. They seep into our speech and glom onto any sentence they can.  

But we're here to suck those bad boys right out. 

Because we want you to be as secure in your public speech as you are in your mirror pep-talks. So we checked in with seven amazing women, CEOs, bloggers, and bosses to find out what words they're officially over. 

1. Nicolette Mason: My one word would be "SORRY."

I think as women we are socialized to apologize for EVERYTHING: for being outspoken, having an opinion, being brazen, taking up space. I'm trying my best to practice saying "thank you" instead of "sorry," as in "thank you for your understanding." It's a small shift in language that I think makes a huge difference! 

2. Liz Plank: "I don't belong here."

Don't fool yourself into thinking you don't deserve to be where you are. Take what is yours. Own it. And then use it to change the world.

"Take what is yours. Own it. And then use it to change the world."

Tweet this. 

3. Iva Pawling: "JUST" stop

“JUST” stop fn using JUST. Hi, JUST want to check in. NO. I still find myself writing it, then going delete delete delete. It’s such a - I don’t want to push to hard - female thing. Dudes NEVER do it.

4. Courtney Kerr: (We've got a repeat offender) "JUST"

"I just wanted to know..."

"I just wanted to circle back..."

"I just think..."

JUST. STOP. Using this word makes us sound hesitant, unsure, and nervous in our communication with people. It's almost like asking for permission for what you're about to say. Instead, speak in absolutes, like the confident, bad-ass woman you are. 

"I need to know..."

"I am circling back..."

"I think/believe..."

"Speak in absolutes, like the confident, bad-ass woman you are."

Tweet this.  

Try it for a day and see how empowering it actually can be. The conversation you're having might shift and you might get a more respectful response! 

5. Brit Morin: "I'm not creative." 

"I'm not creative." -- I hear this phrase over and over from women anytime I try to get them to participate in a creative project with me. In fact, it was one of the reasons I felt so compelled to start Brit + Co! We are all creative beings -- we were literally designed as humans to make and create. The only thing stopping us is our insecurity and inability to embrace failure. This needs to change.

6. Jen Pinkston: "I Think..."

Let's stop using the phrase, "I think," shall we? It's lacking in self-confidence and undermines our knowledge and experience on the subject. Consider replacing it with "I believe" or "my recommendation would be..."

7. Nikisha Brunson: "Can't"

With the word "can't" you are already submitting to self defeat, you're doubting yourself, and creating a barrier. Our attitudes and beliefs are so powerful. They shape our daily lives by creating opportunities and breaking down barriers.

What's one word you're working on removing from your vocab? Share below! 

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