The 4 Best Ways to Cope with a Panic Attack at Work
No, you're not having a heart attack.
Claire, a new graduate, recently scored her dream job: a junior editor at her favorite fashion magazine. Claire dreamed of this position ever since she flipped through glossy magazines as a teen. Claire spent every summer in college interning for the chance to be considered for this position and her hard work finally paid off! Everything was perfect......perfect until the third day on the job. It was early morning, Claire walked into her first round table meeting, prompt, with a large latte in hand. Eventually, Claire’s new colleagues started piling into the room, including the Editor-in-Chief. As they took their seats and the meeting started, a strong feeling came over Claire. She started feeling as though something was terribly wrong! Within seconds Claire felt short of breath (literally gasping for breath), her heart was racing, and sweat was running down her newly purchased blouse. What was happening? As Claire sat in her seat she thought: Am I having a heart attack? Am I going to die? Everyone is starting at me!
For all of you who have endured a similar episode likely know far too well what Claire experienced (it’s hard to forget if it happened to you). A panic attack occurs abruptly and often spontaneously ‘out of the blue’ as an intense feeling of fear and discomfort that reaches a peak within minutes. If that wasn’t enough, some of the following symptoms also occur simultaneously: chest pain, chest tightness, shortness of breath, trembling, sweating, nausea, dizzy, tingling and fear of losing control or “going crazy.”
Unfortunately, because such episodes occur ‘out of the blue,’ nowhere is off-limits; including your place of work. Panic attacks are gruesome, but can be even trickier to navigate while on the job. Below are 4 ways to cope when your body is hell-bent against cooperating with you!
"HOLY CRAP, I THINK I JUST HAD A HEART ATTACK?"
“Holy crap, I think I just had a heart attack?”
“Holy crap, I think I just had a heart attack?”
Due to the fact that these symptoms mimic many medical emergencies, it is not uncommon for those suffering to feel like they might be having a heart attack or dying. Often, those who endure their first panic attack will visit their local Emergency Room (ER) in order to get checked out….. and wouldn’t we all if we thought we just had a heart attack? Ask your family doctor for a pamphlet at your next appointment and educate yourself on what an attack looks like. Understanding panic is the first step in coping. Although such attacks can be incredibly uncomfortable, panic attacks are short lived and will come to an end.
“WELL HELLO PANIC. I CAN'T SAY IT IS NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN."
Just when you thought that was over (as you hoped it was a one time occurrence), panic has decided to visit once again. Panic may have returned without an invite, but this time you are prepared and ready! Now that you know what your body is experiencing as a result of education (as per above), it is time for the next step: Acknowledgment. Like with all uninvited guests, it is polite to acknowledge any ‘unwanted’ presence. You can give your panic a name to minimize its impact.
"You can give your panic a name to minimize its impact."
Tweet this.
"MAY I EXCUSE MYSELF PLEASE?"
It is one thing to experience an attack in the comforts of your own home, but it is another to have a panic attack at the office. Many people suffer in silence for fear of being seen as ‘weak’ or ‘not cut out’ for the job. Although it is often expected that you leave your private life outside of the office, it can be helpful to let your boss and colleagues know when personal challenges may impact the job (do this carefully, and only reveal details you think are pertinent to your job). Giving your boss a heads-up makes it that much easier to leave a meeting abruptly. Making others aware prior to the next attack is not only helpful for lowering your distress level, but you may get a few helpful tips from others…..as it is highly likely others in the office are faced with a similar challenge.
"PANIC, YOU ARE NOW INTERFERING! GAME OVER!"
What is the different between having a panic attack and having a panic disorder? Panic attacks become a disorder when there is a significant and persistent amount of time (greater than one month) worrying about having another attack or possible consequences of an attack. Additionally, those who fear another attack often engage in significant maladaptive behavioral changes related to an attack (ex: absentee from work) as a way of coping with the fear. If you find yourself persistently worrying about another attack, so much that you avoid things that remind you of previous attacks, it’s time to seek help!
Blare June is a lifestyle blogger from Halifax, Nova Scotia. What makes Blare June's blog unique is that in addition to fashion she writes about mental illness, empowerment, and overall wellness. When Blare June isn't blogging, she is working as a physician specializing in psychiatry in Halifax. You can find Blare June online atwww.blarejune.com or on Instagram: @blarejune.
How These 3 Working Moms Are Handling This Crazy Stat
Kids are so dang expensive.
photo by Could I Have That?
In case you haven't heard Beyoncé is pregnant with twins. What you might not know is that in Jay Z's and Beyoncé’s prenup it states that she gets a cool 5 million for every baby she bears that’s his. Do the math babes. That means Queen B is carrying around 10 million dollars in her uterus. Which is, unfortunately, more $$$ than most of us will see in a lifetime.
Also another unfortunate fact: CNN recently revealed that raising a child to age 18 will costs $233,610-- pre-college. So what is a working mom to do? We checked in with three of our favorite working moms to get their life tips and tricks on saving money, even with baby at home.
Angela Sutherland, investment executive and co-founder of the new organic children's food delivery service Yumi, has two kids and three great tips for saving money-- especially as it relates to your TAXES. If you already filed your taxes this year, take her advice and make this a priority in 2018.
First, she says, "Depending on which state you're in you can actually buy pre-paid tuition, locking in the current rate of tuition, which is actual an amazing deal given the rate of inflation. The only downside is you have to decide early (very early!) which college your kid will go to, however, if you have a very strong state school it could be a great way to save." For those legacy families, look into this.
Second, she shares, "Be a lifetime learner! Few people know that you can claim up to $2k in tax credit every year for the classes you take. That's not $2k off of your taxable income like other deductions, that's actually a straight credit off your calculated taxes owed." And finally, says the mom and business owner, "There's a tax credit that's called the Dependent Care Credit- of which few people take advantage. But you can get up to $3k per child of tax deductions when you use a nanny or someone who cares for your children if you work."
Mom-to-be and writer Jane Helpern shared this practical advice: "Drive a Prius. Bring your lunch to work. And swap your Equinox membership for the YMCA which offers free childcare. Don't have a pool because they cost a lot to heat and don't be afraid to send your kids to daycare."
Postpartum doula Stephanie Matthias takes a slightly more holistic approach to the numbers game. "If you count your rent and gas, everything that costs money," the single mom of two explains, "summer camp, classes, buying birthday presents for kids in the class, or the fact that they want to go a vending machine at school because their friends do, it adds up." But she has some positive ideas on how to flip the script.
For one, "Enlisting family to help with childcare is huge, if it's possible," she shares. "I've chosen to have the kind of career where I work freelance, where I make my own hours. I'm not only doing what I want to be doing, but it's also really conducive to motherhood. I've made very strategic career decisions in order to accommodate being a mother."
She also shares, "I've never been a good budgeter. I'm not a frugal person. Even when I was working four jobs living in a $1000 dollar one-room apartment on the East Side (of Los Angeles), I would still go to Whole Foods and buy water. I used to think of money in terms of scarcity, in terms of what I could and couldn't afford. Now I think about money in terms of what kind of life I want to have. Do I want a life of experiences? What kind of life do I want for my kids? And what do I want to teach them about money? This approach has helped me spend less. It's almost like eliminating sugar. How I want to feel longterm is analogous to what I want my life to look like longterm. This reworking has completely changed the way I think about money. The money that I make during the time that I'm working, that's time that I'm spending away from of my kids. That makes the money more valuable to me and makes me more mindful of what I'm spending on. That money better be going toward stuff that makes our lives great. I'm not gonna work all these hours and spend money on shoes." Half of the time she says she doesn't get home until after her youngest in already in bed and there's an element of mom guilt that kicks in. The voice that says, "I didn't spend the day with you, I'm gonna get you something."
Matthias continues, "It's easy for working moms to feel like, 'I'm gone and I'm making x amount of money, so I can afford these really cute toys and it will make them happy.'" Not true she insists. "All your kids want is quality time with you. The more hours I work, the more money I make, the more that voice kicks in. That's when we do things to placate our kids. That's a massive waste of money. Every fifteen dollar tiara and thirty dollar ballet skirt, that all adds up. That's money you could put into their college fund."
She adds, "From a super practical standpoint, I am super strategic about where I do my food shopping. I want everything to be super high quality, but it's not always practical to only shop at Erewhon. I joined Thrive online. It's an online grocery store that doesn't sell produce. But instead has all of the snacks that go in lunches, etc. Everything is super discounted."
Extra credit pro tip: Babies grow and they grow fast. You're replacing their clothes every couple of months and many of them are barley worn. If you plan on having more than one, buy gender-neutral items so the next child can wear the hand-me-downs. And for new moms who are nesting (that innate desire to get ready for baby) don't be fooled by the marketing world. Babies don't need their own everrrrything-- from body wash to detergent to hair brushes. Don't nest yourself out of a nest egg.
Have more money saving tips? Share below!
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This One Job Hunt Tactic Is No Longer Working
So why is everyone still doing it?
According to a 2015 study done by the National Federation of Independent Business, 48% of small businesses report there are few or no qualified applicants for the positions they are trying to fill. This suggests that many people apply for jobs they aren’t qualified for, which gives hiring managers the idea that qualified candidates aren’t out there.
Studies show that global IQ scores have risen by an average of 20 points since 1950, implying that there should be qualified candidates out there, so why are so many people still struggling to land a job? The answer lies within the job application tactics being used.
The incorrect job hunting tactic that candidates often use
Often people employ the “spray and pray” tactic when applying for a job. This term has become common among recruiters when describing a candidate that applies to tens or hundreds of positions in the hopes that someone will bite. On average, each corporate job opening attracts 250 resumes. This means that your resume has to be outstanding in order to stand out from the crowd. When using the spray and pray tactic, resumes usually don’t hold the specified requirements or keywords, causing them to get turned down immediately. When you don’t customize your resume to each job, it’s clear that you’re using the spray and pray tactic, and this doesn’t bode well for your reputation.
"Your resume has to be outstanding in order to stand out from the crowd."
Tweet this.
Why this tactic doesn’t work well
On top of the fact that your resume is among hundreds of others in the application pool when you apply online, there’s another internal issue which makes it hard to secure a job. Scott Uhrig at Agile.Careers explained that, “Roughly 80% of jobs are never posted–probably closer to 90% for more senior jobs. The competition for posted jobs is insane…the best jobs are almost never posted.” If a job isn’t posted, you’re going to have a pretty hard time applying for it online.
What job tactics you should be using instead
The Beatles had it right when they sang, “I get by with a little help from my friends.” GlassDoor estimates that being referred by someone at the company boosts your chance of successfully landing a job as high as nearly 7%.
Don’t have any direct contacts in your industry? Use your LinkedIn profile to leverage who you know and increase your professional network. You never know who will be able to connect you with someone who can help you develop your career. At the very least, use LinkedIn to connect with recruiters. Research also finds that staffing agency referrals increase your chance of a successful job placement by more than 5%, and in-person referrals — such as meeting a company representative at a job fair and giving them a resume — increase it by about 4%.
Why these tactics work
Referrals generally produce a better hire, and statistics suggest that referrals lower the company turnover rate. 46% of referral hires stay over 1 year, 45% over 2 years and 47% over 3 years. Amy Segelin, president of the executive communications recruiting firm Chaloner, explains how the best (and most unexpected) hires happen: “Out-of-the-box hires rarely happen through LinkedIn applications. They happen when someone influential meets a really interesting person and says, ‘Let’s create a position for you.’” Why? Because it’s much easier to establish a connection and show your personality in person. While you can highlight what you’ll bring to the table and the skills you have, it’s almost impossible to show how well you’ll fit in with the company culture or how well you’ll get along with other employees on your resume alone.
______________
We live in an age where you can apply to hundreds of jobs with the click of a button, but just because it’s possible, (and easy) it doesn’t make it the best tactic to use when job hunting. Why this job tactic isn’t working is because when you apply via online application, you’re one of hundreds of applicants, which makes it hard to give off a lasting impression. Instead, focus on leveraging your network, asking for internal referrals, and using your contacts to get your resume in front of the right person. And when in doubt, remember that quality of your application will always serve you better than the quantity of applications you’re submitting.
A native San Franciscan, Michele Lando is a Certified Professional Resume Writer and founder of writestylesonline.com. She has a passion for helping others present the best version of themselves, both on paper and in person, and works to polish individuals' application package and personal style. Aiming to help create a perfect personal branding package, Write Styles presents tips to enhance your resume, style, and boost your confidence.
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All the Things Pregnant and Working Mothers Are Doing Wrong
They don't want you to be right.
Photo credit: Pexels
Written by: Jane Helpern
Women! If you think they're bad, just wait until they deign to bring a tiny, helpless human into the world and then attempt to receive meager compensation from their employer for it. Whether it's a basic survival tactic like drinking water or a more complicated endeavor such as carrying on a career, they deserve to be exiled. Or worse. Here, a list of 54 things pregnant women and working moms are doing all wrong.
Taking maternity leave
Returning to work too quickly
Eating licorice
Staying home
Def working
Def staying home
Eating fish
Owning cats
Being stressed
Being young
Being old
Def being old
Def being young
Being single
Drinking coffee
Earning more than their husband
Using hairspray
Traveling to Mexico
Consuming a single drop of alcohol
Working overtime
Working 32 hrs a week or more
Wearing heels
Wearing Spanx
Drinking Diet Coke
Going to Subway
Being in a heatwave
Being Chrissy Teigen
Eating cereal
Eating organic
Having a night nurse
Exposure to secondhand smoke prior to conception
Wearing makeup
Not enough salad
Being Kim Kardashian
Having heartburn.
Jane Helpern is a freelance writer, copywriter, and founder of Jane Says Agency. She enjoys helping brands find their voice, writing about fashion and feminism, and walking-at-an-incline-with-wine™
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Why You Should Stop Being Polite & Talk About Your Salary
We got 15 badass ladies to share their salaries.
photo credit: Pexels.
MONEY TALKS AND SO SHOULD YOU.
Today is Equal Pay Day. You know this. We know this.
Women earn on average just 80 cents to every dollar earned by white men. The gender wage gap is more severe for women of color: African-American women and Hispanic women, for example, earn just 63 cents and 54 cents to every dollar earned by white, non-Hispanic men, respectively.
According to the National Partnership for Women & Families, the national median annual pay for a woman in a full-time, year-round job is $40,742, while men earn $51,212 . Overall, women are paid 80 cents for every dollar paid to men. This lowers in management roles, where women are paid 76 cents to every dollar paid to men.
Don't freak. There is some light at the end of this money tunnel.
Here’s where we are at.
There are some rad trends happening in the workplace. Women are starting businesses at rapid rates.
They are doing it with less than men. They feel like they can accomplish more, with fewer resources. (pound.)
They are employing nearly 8 million people and generated $1.5 trillion in sales as of 2015.
And we are organizing and speaking up.
As women, we make up more than half of this country’s population (50.6%). We’re getting a larger share of college degrees, we’re doing WORK (In 2013, over half of managerial and professional occupations in the U.S. [52.2%] were held by women), and we’re birthing 100% of our children.
Give yourself a fn pat on the back.
Here’s where we're not.
In spite of recent gains (and ungains, which is a word for today) millennial women still report that it’s a man’s world. Isn’t that strange? We have made significant gains and have opportunities our mothers and grandmothers only dreamed of, but most of us still hold the same opinion that they did over 30 year ago: 55% say that society favors men over women. Can we get a collective groan?
"Millennial women still report that it's a man's world. Isn't that strange?"
Tweet this.
We see this happen every day. If there are male and female co-founders, people always assume the woman is the creative and the male is the CEO.
The Pew Research Center has also found that: Analysis of government economic data suggests that most young female workers start their careers at near parity with men in wages. However, the analysis found, women struggle to keep pace with men on this measure as they begin to juggle work and family life. That means we need better laws in place for paid family leave. We need laws that protect working mothers. The National Partnership for Women & Families reported that the wage gap is larger for mothers than for women overall. Compounding this issue is that mothers are currently the breadwinners in half of families with children under 18.
That means family leave laws need to be at the top of the list of items we’re fighting for (see below for more on this).
According to the National Partnership for Women and Families if the annual gender wage gap were eliminated, on average, a working woman in the United States would have enough money for approximately:
- Fifteen more months of child care;
- 2 additional years of tuition and fees for a four-year public university, or the full cost of tuition and fees for a two-year community college;
- Seventy-eight more weeks of food for her family (1.5 years’ worth);
- Seven more months of mortgage and utilities payments;
- Eleven more months of rent; or
- Up to 8.7 additional years of birth control.
"When wages are equal, everyone will win."
Tweet this.
We cannot hammer this home hard enough: when wages are equal, everyone will win.
What we can do about it.
Let's make finance the new F word. The only reason money is dirty is because it carries more germs than a household toilet. Gross—we know. But what we’re talking about is pretty gross too. Recently comedian Natasha Leggero shared with us that she and other female comedians share what they make with each other. “To make sure we’re not getting ripped off.” The more you share, the more you can ask for. And remember, the only ones who benefit from hush-hush salary talk are the employers.
According to a press release from the National Partnership you can call your representatives about the following legislation:
“Members of Congress are expected to reintroduce the Paycheck Fairness Act, which would help break harmful patterns of pay discrimination and establish stronger workplace protections for women. National Partnership experts say the bill would help close the wage gap, along with policies like the Healthy Families Act, which would guarantee paid sick days; the Family And Medical Insurance Leave (FAMILY) Act, which would create a comprehensive paid family and medical leave program; and measures that would increase the minimum wage and strengthen pregnant worker protections.”
We can also TALK. SHARE. AND ENCOURAGE OTHER WOMEN TO DO THE SAME. Because until they raise our wages, we should raise a little hell.
So we talked with 15 women who shared what they’re making with us. And we're encouraging you to do the same. Let's call it the 15 for Equality rule. Make it a priority to share your salary with 15 women with the hope that the more we openly talk about making money, the faster the wage gap shrinks.
- Talent Manager, New York, 26, 75k
- Wedding Photographer, 35, Florida, 35k
- Creative Director, Los Angeles, 33, 98k
- PR Assistant, Los Angeles, 31, 47k
- Senior Partner Law Firm, Los Angeles, 55, $950/hour
- Marketing Director, Los Angeles, 32, 90k
- Head of Sales at Boutique Fashion Brand, Los Angeles, 31, 80k
- RTW Designer, Los Angeles, 34, 80k
- Director Digital Content, New York, 35, 160k
- Project Manager, Los Angeles, 27, 50k
- Designer, Philadelphia, 30, 97k-112k, depending on bonuses
- Special Events Manager, Los Angeles, 33, 75k
- Junior Designer at Architecture Firm, Los Angeles, 35, 70k. (This salary was noted as high, and the employee said she actually makes 5k more than her husband who hold the same position at a different architecture firm.)
- SF Ballet Starting Corps, San Francisco, 22, 40k. (This salary was also noted as high in comparison to other professional ballerinas. “They [SF Ballet] have a budget of 45 million dollars. The same goes for NYC Ballet, which has an annual budget of about 64 million dollars. The average salary for a corps dancer is closer to 30k.”
- Assistant Project Manager, Los Angeles, 25, 42k
Feel like sharing? What are you doing today to fight for equal pay?
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Do You Want Just More? RSVP Here for a Panel with our Hawaii Posse
We're popping up again!
GUESS WHAT? the gang's getting back together!
Last month thanks to the creative brains at Richer Poorer we headed to Honolulu on a entrepreneur adventure with five other amazing founders: Jen Gotch, founder and CCO of Bando, Bobby Kim, co-founder of The Hundreds and JENNIFER, Jeni Britton Bauer, founder and CCO of Jeni's Splendid Ice Creams, Iva Pawling, co-founder and CEO of Richer Poorer, and Ellen Bennett, founder and CEO of Hedley and Bennett.
And now we're bringing everything we learned in Hawaii back home. (Like the idea of entrepreneurs sharing assets). Full details below.
Our Founder and Editorial Director are joining the "Just More" panel, hosted by Richer Poorer, on what it really, truly (we're gonna dish all the details and regret it in the morning) means to be the founder of a business. The late nights. The juicy stuff. Yes, there will be some cocktails too.
ALL DETAILS BELOW
WHEN: Monday, April 17th, 2017
WHERE: Hedley & Bennett HQ
3864 S. Santa Fe Avenue
Vernon, CA 90058
Map it here. Don't stress. There is ample street parking.
TIME: 6:30 PM - 8:30 PM
Join us for cocktails and convo starting at 6:30pm. Panel will begin at 7:00, last 45-minutes, and then we will open up to audience Q&A. Bring your questions! Feel free to stick around after to say hi, meet the speakers, and soak in the boss vibes.
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS RSVP BELOW.
The Power of Personalization (And Why It's Not A Fad)
What's your call-sign?
photo by Mark and Graham
Initials. Nicknames. Catchphrases. We’ve all got ‘em.
Maybe it’s a nickname you were given as a kid, and you’ve grown to love. Maybe it’s a motto that you’ve chosen to live your life by. Whatever it may be, there’s a nostalgia that comes along with adopting something that represents you to the outside world.
Back in the day (‘90s babies, we’re looking at you), monogramming was the easiest way for you (and let’s be honest, your parents) to easily identify your backpack in the sea of other Jansport carry-alls.
But as we’ve gotten older (and hopefully more mature…), we’ve brought our desire for product personalization with us. We’ve gone as far as wanting to don our personal branding on denim jackets, leather totes, even bandanas.
What is it that we love so much about adding our personal imprint onto things? Well, think of it like a fingerprint, it’s distinct to you and symbolizes ownership, which frankly, makes us feel special, maybe even a little important.
Mark & Graham, a leather goods and timeless gifts company, recognized the emotional connection we have to adding our emblems on products and capitalized on it, BIG TIME.
Not only do they offer monogramming as an easy add-on to each order, they also make the monogramming options anything but uniform — with over 100 ways to customize each monogram. That’s a whole lot of options and boy, do we love it!
Adding a personal touch to your job application could be the difference between landing the interview and getting stuck in the abyss with all the other generic, predictable resume.
What if we took this same principle and applied it to something maybe a little less glamorous? Say, the job hunt? Or our office? Hear us out for a minute!
Adding a personal touch to your job application could be the difference between landing the interview and getting stuck in the abyss with all the other generic, predictable resumes…. and we don’t want that for you.
So, let’s talk about how you separate yourself from the pack by injecting a little personality! Hint: it’s time to ditch the Times New Roman and shed the frivolous space-fillers.
Jazz Up the Format
Whether they admit it or not, most people are driven by aesthetics. They like things that are clean, curated, and look like a decent amount of thought went into putting it together (it’s why we love Instagram so much). Your resume should be no different. Add personal design touches by mixing up the format, injecting a signature color, or even adding in the logo from your blog you’ve been curating for years.
Want to make design changes, but don’t feel exactly design-inclined? Head to marketplaces like Etsy, where people put their graphic design backgrounds to good use and make one-of-a-kind templates that you can purchase and then populate with your information!
Tailor the Content
You’ve heard it a thousand times, but for good reason. It may take longer, but spend the time editing your resume to best fit the job description you are applying for. Why take up prime real estate on your resume with something that doesn’t pertain to the exact job at hand? Personalize it to the job you are applying for. Everyone wants to feel a little special.
Once, you’ve landed the job…
Personalize your Space
No matter what kind of desk you have -- cubicle, co-working, or corner office, there are ways to make your space say, hey world, this is my little corner of the working universe. Perhaps a Leather Charger Rollup, so no one gets confused about whose is whose. A monogrammed Copper Pencil Cup is also a brilliant idea for making sure you write down your brilliant ideas. (Also serves as a wonderful gift for a co-worker…) And a personal Desk Embosser has the word ‘boss’ in it for good reason.
Tell us, how are you standing out and adding your personal touch to life?
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The *ONE* Word These 7 Women Want You to Stop Using
Sorry? We ain't sorry.
photo by The Effortless Chic
Every woman has her choice go-to 'pause' word.
The phrase that fills in moments when we're filled with doubt. They seep into our speech and glom onto any sentence they can.
But we're here to suck those bad boys right out.
Because we want you to be as secure in your public speech as you are in your mirror pep-talks. So we checked in with seven amazing women, CEOs, bloggers, and bosses to find out what words they're officially over.
1. Nicolette Mason: My one word would be "SORRY."
I think as women we are socialized to apologize for EVERYTHING: for being outspoken, having an opinion, being brazen, taking up space. I'm trying my best to practice saying "thank you" instead of "sorry," as in "thank you for your understanding." It's a small shift in language that I think makes a huge difference!
2. Liz Plank: "I don't belong here."
Don't fool yourself into thinking you don't deserve to be where you are. Take what is yours. Own it. And then use it to change the world.
"Take what is yours. Own it. And then use it to change the world."
Tweet this.
3. Iva Pawling: "JUST" stop
“JUST” stop fn using JUST. Hi, JUST want to check in. NO. I still find myself writing it, then going delete delete delete. It’s such a - I don’t want to push to hard - female thing. Dudes NEVER do it.
4. Courtney Kerr: (We've got a repeat offender) "JUST"
"I just wanted to know..."
"I just wanted to circle back..."
"I just think..."
JUST. STOP. Using this word makes us sound hesitant, unsure, and nervous in our communication with people. It's almost like asking for permission for what you're about to say. Instead, speak in absolutes, like the confident, bad-ass woman you are.
"I need to know..."
"I am circling back..."
"I think/believe..."
"Speak in absolutes, like the confident, bad-ass woman you are."
Tweet this.
Try it for a day and see how empowering it actually can be. The conversation you're having might shift and you might get a more respectful response!
5. Brit Morin: "I'm not creative."
"I'm not creative." -- I hear this phrase over and over from women anytime I try to get them to participate in a creative project with me. In fact, it was one of the reasons I felt so compelled to start Brit + Co! We are all creative beings -- we were literally designed as humans to make and create. The only thing stopping us is our insecurity and inability to embrace failure. This needs to change.
6. Jen Pinkston: "I Think..."
Let's stop using the phrase, "I think," shall we? It's lacking in self-confidence and undermines our knowledge and experience on the subject. Consider replacing it with "I believe" or "my recommendation would be..."
7. Nikisha Brunson: "Can't"
With the word "can't" you are already submitting to self defeat, you're doubting yourself, and creating a barrier. Our attitudes and beliefs are so powerful. They shape our daily lives by creating opportunities and breaking down barriers.
What's one word you're working on removing from your vocab? Share below!
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Sign Language: How to Deal with an Aries Boss
Do you speak boss-strology? We do.
photo credit: KillJoyDesigner
Step 1: Know your boss' birthday
Step 2: Read on...
Date range: March 21 - April 19
Lucky Numbers: 1, 8, 17
Strengths: Courageous, determined, confident, enthusiastic, optimistic, honest, passionate
Weaknesses: Impatient, moody, short-tempered, impulsive, aggressive
In honor of our CEO and founder Jaclyn Johnson’s birthday (shhh it’s today) and our favorite feminist Bobby Hundreds (shhh it’s today too!! yes, they share a bday) we are breaking down how to handle an Aries boss like a boss.
Aries is the first sign in the Zodiac-- a leader and a pioneer. A ram to be reckoned with that doesn't stand for any bull.
So it should come as no surprise that an Aries would launch their own business. They have a go-get-’em attitude when it comes to career and they like to see the same from their employees. They don’t like to lose and they do things with speed.
So how do you impress an Aries boss (or an Aries co-worker) in the workplace? Take notes (they'd like that).
Aries are often highly organized, completing many tasks before most of us have ticked one off the old to-do list. If you lean toward unorganized, take a page from an Aries and write it down and really work on honing those organizational skills. Since Aries' tend to think and speak fast, it’s easy to miss a key detail in conversation. Don’t let important facts whiz by. You have to be on your game when it comes to meetings. Bring a pen. Paper helps too.
Nothing is impossible for an Aries. For instance, problem-solving should always be in the positive. You don’t want to tell an Aries boss “The problem is…” Start with a solution, they will appreciate this approach, even when you're delivering not so great news. The first step to success is "yes."
If you’re looking for a job with work/life balance, be aware that a passionate Aries boss will expect an all hands on deck attitude. You’ll prob get a few texts on the weekend. Don't freak out. Simply answer them. Boundaries are important (and we know you deserve down time as much as the next) but if you fight it chances are you will spend more time thinking about how you don't want to answer a text on the weekend then it would take to answer it. Aries get fidgety with downtime. A simple yes or no will likely suffice to keep everything calm and create a much more positive office environment come Monday am.
That said, be prepared that Aries throw themselves into their work with wild abandon (sometimes, yes, at the cost of balance) but they are incredibly optimistic about outcomes and they truly want everyone around them to succeed. Allow this attitude to rub off on you. Get positive through osmosis if need be, it’s a must-have approach to handling the ups and downs like a pro.
Aries don’t like to wait around for things to get done, they’re doers and they expect others to be doers as well. Inactivity is their hell. Thanks to its ruling planet Mars and the fact it belongs to the element of Fire, Aries is one of the most active zodiac signs-- it's in their blood. This can come across as impatient or impulsive and might prove challenging for employees who haven’t mastered the art of reading their boss’ mind. Get ahead of the game by using your most prized talents-- what you were actually hired to do. If you don't know how your boss will react to a "crazy" idea, impress them with the skills you are confident in.
Nothing impresses an Aries boss like the ability to complete a task.
So get it done girl. Get. It. Done. Just like an Aries would.
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How To Channel Your Inner Spiritual Biz Goddess
She's ready to go.
photo by @crwnmag
This post originally appeared on BlogSociety
Written by Lisa Lynn Adams
When you are starting out being a mother, blogger and/or entrepreneur it can be overwhelming trying to find balance, especially when you are just starting out. While trying to find your groove, the learning curve can be steep. However, rest assured once you arrive, you'll feel a tremendous sense of peace, have gained a wealth of knowledge and knowhow and be able to look back with great pride over your creations.
Even with a background in business, learning the online world is a whole different ball game. Have patience with yourself. Self-love, self-care and self-acceptance are 3 of the most vital elements to success. There will be mountains to conquer and lessons to learn along the way. This too shall pass. Where you are is exactly where you are meant to be. Starting out on the journey of following your life purpose can be scary, so I wanted to outline some key tips and tricks I've learned along the way to help you accomplish the juggling act with ease, so you only drop one ball, rather than ALL.
Acknowledge that clarity is a rarity when you are starting out. You may begin in one place and end up somewhere completely different; only to realize where you end up is exactly where you are meant to be. The universe will use whatever it needs in order to get the ball rolling, to help you act out of faith, rather than fear. This is the beauty of knowing your big picture dreams, creating a plan, yet leaving room for what will be, to be. Accepting that you will be guided to where you are needed, in order to serve others in the most auspicious of ways. You need to have the perfect mixture of faith, trust and strategic PLANNING. If you combine these 3 elements you are surely creating a recipe for success.
At this point you will start to gain more clarity, as though the veil of uncertainty has been lifted from your eyes. You are starting to hear the call more clearly. You are staring straight at your spiritual destiny, gaining momentum and direction, starting to see the bigger picture and the steps that need to be taken. This is the moment to lock down your planning; this is my favourite part after the whole process, the moment of realization of the grand picture. At this point it's time to implement your DESTINY map, outlining each step needed to be taken in order to reach your big picture goals. With research, strategy and faith, carefully detail the very things you need to accomplish in order to get there. Break each step down into smaller steps needed and mark it with a destiny date, placing this on the wall and into your planner. At the beginning of each quarter create a vision board, include your financial projections for the quarter as well and the things that are needed in order to manifest and reach your target. Include pictures and words to best describe the smaller steps that need to be taken, adding as much detail as possible. This will help you gain clarity and visually see what you need to accomplish through the next 4 months. The more you add to your vision board to more successful you will be.
Each morning set aside time to meditate, visualizing your dreams coming true, as well as seeing the steps needed in order to move your vision forward. Then take some time to do some SOULwriting, knowing that whatever comes to you will serve a higher purpose, helping you along. Your struggles will become clearer and you will begin to see solutions to your once obstacles, so they can become opportunities. Then it’s time to check your planner for meetings, clients, content creation and any other elements you may need to include, then input the times you can move onto your destiny map and measure your progress. The measuring part is often skipped, however this imperative in order to know where you are and where you are going. Also creating a learning list is important as well. Growth is constant, so we need to continually invest time in ourselves to gain the wisdom and knowledge we need for advancement. Remember, everything happens one step at a time, don't get overwhelmed with the big picture, just focus on the smaller aspects that need to be performed as you go.
Create a soul contract with yourself, vowing to fulfill your daily practice to accomplish the things you have set out to do.
Create a soul contract with yourself, vowing to fulfill your daily practice to accomplish the things you have set out to do. It is not only your responsibility to yourself, but also to the world, as your life purpose is vitally important to the growth of our planet. Include a commitment to meditation, a “to do” list; or as I like to call them a "To Love & Create” list, as well as creation (we have come to the planet to create - so taking the time each day in order to create content or specific projects needed to fulfill your dreams is an vital step), making sure you take time for your family and self-care as well. These are your daily commitments. If you find yourself feeling frustrated, switch to a different task with a timer (you can use your phone or an app for this), close down distractions and ensure you are slotting time restrictions in order to fulfill each one.
Set aside 3 meditation breaks, as well as intermittent tech breaks (stretch, yoga or go for a walk). Also including Biz Success Affirmations can be very helpful. Even when it comes to time management, one I find very helpful is to repeat, & time is on my side; whenever I'm on a pressing time restraint. This helps to combat the stress and begin working with time, rather than against it. Focus on a specific affirmation that speaks to you daily, once in the morning, once in the afternoon and right before bed. I allow mornings to focus on gaining wisdom, insight and direction. I use my afternoon meditation to unwind, gaining clarity and focus. I use my before bed meditation to dream, manifest and visualize my big picture goals coming true and believing without a shadow of a doubt, that they will! You will find out what works best for you, however you need to take the time to PLAN! :)
Keep in mind you can never plan for everything, or even carve a set path out in stone to living a truly inspired life. Living an inspired life happens by being patient with yourself, expressing love for what you're doing, loving yourself along the way and enjoying the journey not only the destination. Don't forget to laugh daily, love always and dance often. Take the time to create a DESTINY map to guide you along, however, sometimes you need to ride the waves you are given and soul surf your way to success! You truly deserve all of your dreams and desires coming into fruition, never give up, you'll get there.
Shining is your spiritual destiny. Stop playing small and go after your dreams, the time to rise up and SHINE is now! The world needs your light now, more than ever.
Lisa Lynn Adams is a Tony Robbins certified strategic intervention/performance coach, yoga teacher with a degree in social work and business. Author of two books and a highly sough-after Spiritual Success Coach, due to her uniqueness in the field and her wide areas of expertise.
Lisa brings years of business, online marketing and real estate investing experience. She is a passionate prosperity mentor to women helping them create successful and largely profitable businesses. She knew at a young age after witnessing both her parents take their last breath before her eyes, that she had an important mission on this earth and that was helping others see the potential in their pain, overcome obstacles to awaken to their life purpose. Turning it into prosperity, she teaches her students that abundance is our birthright, achievable and POSSIBLE! Lisa is always been a creative genius with a knack for marketing with a million and one innovative ideas, she came to realize that many of those ideas weren't for her, but for the women she was working with to profit from. Many call her the divine mother and nurturing doula to women's DREAMS! You can find Lisa on Facebook or Twitter.
When It Comes to Work, You Want to Be Basic
Hear us out.
We’re not saying you’re average, but on average women spend 2.5 hours per week thinking about their wardrobe.
So how about being basic instead?
If your mornings are spent racing through your closet trying to beat the clock, only to have the clock win every. damn. time, it’s high time you reconsider your work wear and incorporate basics into your life. You shouldn't be late to morning meetings because you spent too much time getting dressed. Appearance at the cost of productivity or promptness, isn’t cool.
“Having a wardrobe full of basics makes getting dressed so much easier,” shares Allie Greenberg, Senior Brand Marketing Manager of Richer Poorer, the Cali-based innerwear brand known for its socks, bralettes, and tees you don't want to take off.
“I get to hit the snooze button at least two extra times each morning," says Greenberg, "because I know I can throw on a pair of jeans with an RP tee and look effortless and still totally put together.”
Hence the tag line: "Goes with Levi's...buys ten of them," in reference to the brand's beloved muscle tank.
There are some rad arguments to be made for an office “uniform.” And no, it doesn't make you boring. Or less creative. It makes you smart.
THIS IS THE NEW DAY TO NIGHT DRESSING
If you’re thinking, ‘I’m creative!’ ‘I need my outfits to be creative,’ maybe you'll heed the advice of Richer Poorer Art Director Katherine Wang. “Our tees and tanks are the perfect anchor for creating outfits that are easy but still are unique to me," explains Wang. "I love wearing the crew pocket tee under all the jackets I wear year-round.”
Tara Rynne, Director of Marketing and Merchandising says she now has to "force" herself to wear different things. "RP tees work with every outfit: muscle tanks under jackets, the scoop V with jeans and fun jewelry, and the crew with cons.”
Sounds like a buncha pros.
THE ENDLESS PERKS
Stepping outside-the-box is important when it comes to business. Without a little discomfort, we never progress. (Think about the first time you spoke up in a meeting or asked for a raise... not easy stuff.) You gotta off-road to make inroads.
But when it comes to how you dress, comfort is key. The first step to feeling comfortable in front of others is feeling comfortable with yourself. How you dress and how you feel in your clothing has a major hand in this.
Other perks to working in the best basics brand out there?...
“Wearing super soft tees all day every day. Duh," says Alex Kirk, Marketing and Merchandising Manager. "Dressed up or dressed down, no one’s judging. Our muscle tank is by far my fave. The functionality of this silhouette is endless. Considering I have a bit of a hard time sitting still… at work, at home, driving too fast on my motorcycle, going a little too ham with friends on a Friday night, trying to beat my boyfriend at tennis, golf-- everything, the muscle tank allows me to be comfortable, feel good, and style to every occasion.”
ALL TEE’D UP (EVEN FOR MOMS)
Stop over-thinking it. Basic dressing at work is your hole-in-one.
There isn’t anything you can’t wear with a tee these days. CEO and co-founder Iva Pawling is living proof that being a boss, a mom, and a fashionable babe are not mutually exclusive. Forget struggle, the trifecta is real. Even with 3 1/2 year old son Ford, who rules her roost in the am.
“My child has an incredible ability to be the vortex of my morning minutes, so having a preset uniform of rotating basics has kept me looking like I still have it mildly together (it’s a lie). My muscle tank is my main go-to, whether it's layered under a sweater, dress or tucked into a pair of high waist pants, I feel good in it and can jet out the house quickly.”
Removing the day-to-day thinking about clothes frees up brain space. You need that-- we all need that.
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This Crazy Statistic Will Change the Way You Apply to Jobs
You can handle the truth.
photo credit: Julia Robbs Photography
DISCLAIMER: This is not meant to discourage you, but to give you perspective when you’re applying to jobs. If you use this to your advantage, this crazy statistic will change the way you apply to jobs (for the better).
According to Glass Door, each corporate job opening attracts an average of 250 resumes. Of these candidates, four to six will be called for an interview and only one will be offered the job.
This means that only 5% of candidates will get a call back, and only .4% of applicants will receive the job offer.
What this means for you:
This means that you have to keep things in perspective. We all have easy access to online job postings, so it’s common to feel discouraged when you find a job that sounds perfect, only to get no response about your application. The problem is that even if you’re completely qualified and would be a great candidate for the position, you may get passed over due to the sheer volume of candidates applying.
Hello, think about what it would be like if you had to sift through 250 resumes! Often it is only one or two people on the receiving end of job applications, so it’s important to remember that while it’s as simple as clicking a mouse to apply, there are real humans on the other end going through your application.
**REMEMBER: There are real humans on the other end sifting through your (and countless others') job applications.**
How you can use these numbers to your advantage:
Don’t apply for every single position you qualify for. Recruiters call this tactic “spray and pray,” and it’s not a tactic that anyone in the hiring industry would recommend. Contrary to popular belief, applying to more jobs is not better. The quality of each application you submit is much more important than the quantity. It’s much better to apply to a few jobs that you really want, and focus on customizing your resume and cover letter to each position than to cast wide net and apply to a lot of jobs with the same resume and cover letter.
Your resume and cover letter serve as your opportunity to rope people in and explain exactly why you’re the perfect candidate for the position. If you’re not giving concrete details and bearing your soul about why you want this specific role and why you’ll do great at it, you won’t be able to become part of that .4% who are offered a job.
When you use the same general resume and cover letter to apply to a plethora of jobs, recruiters and hiring managers can tell. By using terms such as “your company” instead of actually writing out the company name, or not referencing specific aspects of the company and/or job description, it becomes transparent that you’re using that resume and cover letter to apply everywhere.
PRO TIP: When writing a cover letter NEVER use the phrase 'your company.'
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What’s wrong with that? It gives off the notion that you’re too lazy to customize your documents, and that you don’t care about the company which you’re applying for. Make sure you show the hiring manager and/or recruiter who you really are and pour your soul into each application. It may be a pain at the time, but your effort will show through and benefit you.
How you can get around this crazy statistic:
Don’t be afraid to reach out to your connections. According to studies done by Glass Door, referrals are associated with a 2.6 to 6.6 percent higher chance of an accepted job offer. Reach out to recruiters, friends, and industry professionals to put the word out there that you’re looking for a position. Often people won't know that you’re in the market for a new role, and if they don’t know, they can’t help you. It’s a very small world, and you never know who might have an industry connection or information on an upcoming availability.
__________
It sounds daunting, but this crazy statistic will change the way you apply to jobs, and it can actually help you in your job search. Knowledge is power, and being aware of the job market will give you the ability to make your application the best it can be and use all of your resources to their greatest potential. Good luck!
A native San Franciscan, Michele Lando is a Certified Professional Resume Writer and founder of writestylesonline.com. She has a passion for helping others present the best version of themselves, both on paper and in person, and works to polish individuals' application package and personal style. Aiming to help create a perfect personal branding package, Write Styles presents tips to enhance your resume, style, and boost your confidence.
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20 Amazing Mic Drops from C&C Keynotes
How about that #MondayMotivation.
Photo credit: Smith House Photography
We're still riding the wave of Create & Cultivate SXSW and sharing 20 of our favorite moments from last week's popup featuring keynotes: Brit Morin, Brooklyn Decker and Whitney Casey, Hannah Hart and Mamrie Hart, and Kristen Bell.
Enjoy and pass on to a friend who needs a boost!
"I put my name in it because I want people know I'm real about this. I'm a real person. When you Tweet me, I'm gonna Tweet you back. When you Instagram I'm gonna Instagram you back. It's not a brand just trying to be a brand." Brit Morin on incorporating herself into the company.
“I don’t think women brag about themselves enough.” Brit Morin on being a powerful woman in charge.
“Cooperation over domination is going to be the cure.” Kristen Bell on what will move the business needle forward.
"Cooperation over domination is going to be the cure."
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Photo credit: Smith House Photography
“Investors want to invest in people.” Brooklyn Decker on being yourself in meetings and believing in yourself.
“To know your differentiators you have to know the marketplace. Do you research.” Whitney Casey on how to enter VC meetings.
“Be incredibly well-researched on the market that you’re entering. Understand it so well and it will help you prepare for any meeting.” Brooklyn Decker on how to enter VC meetings.
“If I were a young woman right now I would learn how to code.” Whitney Casey on how we change the male-dominated tech world.
Photo credit: Smith House Photography
“Beyoncé, she’s our user, she’s our girl.” Brooklyn Decker on her Finery dream user.
"Good ideas spread, they're the best infections." Kristen Bell
"We want to work, but we also want to create." Brit Morin on the impetus of Brit+Co.
"You can kick down the door but you better be ready to fight when you get in there." Mamrie Hart on breaking down barriers (and kicking down doors above).
"You can kick down the door but you better be ready to fight when you get in there."
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"If you try to please your audience you're not being your authentic self." Marie Hart.
"When I would start to cry I would run to the bathroom to study it." Mamrie Hart on being an 8-year-old asking for an agent.
"We're literally two girls with the last name Hart who started our YouTube channels in the exact same month drinking and making puns and we literally still don't feel competitive. So, there's enough room for everyone." Mamrie Hart on female competition and how she, Hannah, and third "Holy Trinity" member Grace Helbig really do support each other offline.
"We focus so much on being pitted against each other, but we don't think about the social construct that has put us in the pit. That's the thing we should get together and try and change." Hannah Hart on women supporting women.
"It's intention into action. If you're intention is to get a lot of views and be famous, you can study all the strategies and compromise your values, but it might not work. So wouldn't it be better to make something you're proud of?" Hannah Hart of content creators breaking into the crowded space of social.
"Ask for what you want." Mamrie Hart. Keeping it simple and smart.
"This year especially, I just want to be around strong women. And I really want to focus on me and my girls going for it as hard as we can right now. I'm 33 and I really want to hit it hard right now. People are like, 'This is when you freeze your eggs,' and I'm like, 'No, this is when I get a frozen margarita with my bitches.' I feel like women right now need to come together." Mamrie Hart on the "Pussy Posse 2017" bracelets she gave to her friends.
"In this 'climate' I'm worried that we're so focused on protecting our individual 'I's' that we're not listening to other people's 'we's.'' Hannah Hart on the need to be inclusive.
"I believe our give back is the reason we are so successful." Kristen Bell on why she believes in This Bar Saves Lives and why she thinks social responsibility is the move.
Have other favorite moments from the day? Share below!
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How to Avoid the Social Media Comparison Game
Even Selena Gomez just called it torture.
photo credit: Jessica Bordner Photography
You’re on Instagram and notice a photo posted by a fellow creative entrepreneur of a beautiful dinner party filled with people laughing and smiling, a table covered with food and candles and a perfect city skyline in the background. A wave of envy passes over you.
Welcome to the Social Media Comparison Game. In a world where Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, and many other social media platforms dominate, it is trickier than ever to not compare yourself to others. Feeling “not as good as” or “not having enough of” ultimately causes fear and self-doubt, which leads us to staying right where we are. Not ideal. We end up putting our own personal thoughts and projects on hold, and not sharing them with the world.
Even with the best of intentions to connect with new people and share your adventures in business and life, it is often unavoidable that at some point you will find yourself entrenched in this [not-so-fun] game. As someone who works persistently on keeping my eyes on my own page, here are my tips and tricks that help me navigate social media comparison.
GET GOOD AT IDENTIFYING ENVY
Start noticing how you feel when you are on social media. Are there certain people or pictures that trigger feelings of envy and jealousy? What does it physically feel like in your body? For me, I start to feel flushed in the face, a little hot around my neck and chest, and want to withdraw immediately, usually in the form of avoiding my own work. It’s important to know how envy shows up for you so that you can better recognize it and intervene before it stops you in your tracks.
FOLLOW, UNFOLLOW
Once you identify the envy, you’ve got to check in with yourself and ask if following this person on social media is good for you and your business. If you find yourself feeling down most of the time when you see their photos, it is likely a sign that you should stop following this person right now. Sure, they post beautiful photos. Sure they seem great. Sure you love their vibe. But the reality is that it is vital you treat your social media network just like your network in real life. You wouldn’t keep people around on a daily basis who zap your energy, so why allow your social media network to do it? Follow and keep people close who light you up, and inspire and motivate you to keep at it. Drop and unfollow people who don’t.
CREATE WHAT YOU ARE CRAVING
Even when your network is made up of people you admire and love, it is inevitable that you will find yourself feeling envy from time to time as people promote and celebrate their lives and businesses. Even though a part of you is absolutely happy for others’ success, you still may not be able to shake that slight feeling of jealousy. Use that feeling to understand yourself a bit more. What is it that you are craving or wanting? Let’s go back to the dinner party scenario. Instead of feeling down and discouraged after seeing the photo, you could ask yourself in your mind, what am I really wanting? It could be that you want to attend a dinner party just like that. Now it’s up to you to create what you are craving by getting out there and hosting one yourself. The key is to become intentional about the life you want to create by treating your feelings of envy and jealousy as personal-research for understanding your own wants and desires. I know it’s not an easy
process, but with time and practice it is possible to have a thriving, inspiring social media network while keeping your eye on your own page.
Jen Wille is a Certified Professional Life Coach for vibrant women who are ready for more. Her warm approach, unique flair to self-development, and desire to help people bridge the gap from where they are and where they want to be is always at the center of her work. Find her at jenwille.com and on Instagram.
The original version of this article appeared on Blog Society.
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On This Day: 4 Ways Your #TBTs Can Motivate Present-You
Now your #TBTs can matter more than ever.
photo by Allison Norton
This post originally appeared on Shine.
Written by: Felicia Fitzpatrick
It’s 7:45 A.M., and I am squinting at my phone as I turn off my alarm. I instinctively open up Facebook’s push notification in a half-asleep daze to look back on the memories that I’ve apparently shared with 26 different people “On This Day.” Halfway through the scrolling, I cringe.
“On This Day in 2010…”
“On This Day in 2010 my friend and I took an completely awkward photo with a stranger who started talking to us on the bus so I could prove that I was having fun as a freshman in college.”
It terrifies me that on any given day I can stumble upon the Ghosts of Felicia’s Past.
It’s like the virtual version of running into former high school classmates at Target while home for the holidays. These digital time-turning apps have made me run into my first love that broke my heart, friends I don’t talk to anymore, and a version of Felicia that didn’t fully understand herself.
While there’s always something sentimental about naivete, the overwhelming sense of insecurity I felt back then also creeps up. It’s a lot to feel, especially at 7:48 A.M.
In some instances, I get jealous of my past self. “Damn, 2010, 2012, AND 2014 Felicia was seizing the hell out of this day! Oh, but 2017 Felicia had a bad day at work. I’ll never amount to anything.”
How have these apps made me competitive with myself?! And is that a positive or destructive behavior?
Studies have shown that “feelings of envy can then lead to Facebook users experiencing symptoms of depression,” so how do we make these morning reflections of social media nostalgia pleasant and motivational?
Here are four tips on how to use the days of yore to push towards a happy, successful, and fulfilling future:
1. Write Out How It Makes You Feel
If these virtual look-backs have you feeling some type of way, it’s time to break out a journal, scratch paper, or even your phone’s notepad, and get ready to ask yourself (and answer) some questions.
What is your gut reaction to these memories?
Embarrassed? Vulnerable? Angry? Jealous? Sad? Identifying feelings can be tough because it may bring up emotions you’ve been trying to avoid, but writing down a list of the different emotions can help you break through barriers.
How does that make you feel?
Are you embarrassed because you accidentally sent a ‘reply all’ email at work? Are you vulnerable because you opened up in a relationship? Are you angry, jealous, and/or sad because your friends have been hitting their life goals and you feel like you’re still just treading the proverbial achievement-waters?
Write down your current emotions and compare to the list of memory-driven emotions. Note the similarities between the lists, because there may be patterns and habits you have developed.
What do you want?
Making a list of goals can feel lofty and overwhelming, so decide on your framing. Maybe you want to think big picture: what is the one BIG goal you’d like to achieve eventually, and work your way down to one goal you can achieve in the next year that will help you get to the BIG goal, one goal you can achieve this month, and one goal you can achieve this week.
Alternatively, you can start small -- creating basic habits that you can do each day and next thing you know, you’ve created a lifestyle change. Regardless of how you frame it for yourself, determine what you want.
What lessons from the past can use you in the present?
Nostalgia can sometimes help us identify what we crave in our current lives. Do you miss the community feel you used to have with your soccer team? Do you miss the English teacher that pushed you to create your best work?
"All of the experiences you’re having now will help you get to where you want to go".
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All of the experiences you’re having now will help you get to where you want to go.
Think about how you can apply that in your current life. Maybe you become the social chair of your office and plan happy hours for you and your colleagues. Maybe you ask your manager for more consistent feedback, or seek out a mentor. Looking to the past can help you build upon your foundation to achieve what makes you happy.
2. Embrace Nostalgia and Reach Out to Old Friends
It’s okay to think back fondly on memories of your life -- recalling the pure excitement as you embrace future adventures, the pure fear as you stepped into the unknown.
I often see my younger self taking full advantage of days of carefree bliss, before phrases like “student loans” and “apartment security deposit” were in my vocabulary. Moments like this can often leave you sentimental and longing for the past. Instead of a solo wallow sesh, reach out to the people that were surrounding and supporting you at that time.
Acknowledge the people that have seen you through everything: braces and pimples, your Lizzie McGuire phase, your bumper sticker decal obsession. They were most likely the ones that were there when you were building your dreams, and it wouldn’t be surprising if they were looking for support from their longtime friends too.
Who knows, you might create even more memories.
3. Take Note of Your Progress
Sifting through these memories, you may find yourself laughing at inside jokes in the making, smiling at dreams being formed, and head-shaking in that annoyingly all-knowing way at significant goals being achieved.
You have a new perspective. Appreciate your growth by making a list of your accomplishments, because even if you feel like you’re stuck now, a visual list can remind you how far you’ve actually come and how many possibilities are in your future. Hope you still have that pen and paper out.
What goals have you achieved?
If you’ve set goals for yourself in the past, this list will be fairly simple to produce. Did you achieve what you wanted to achieve? Finally got verified on Twitter? Became a council member for your town? Great! If you haven’t been an active goal-setter, think big picture about the life and habits you’ve imagined for yourself.
Were you a small town gal with big city dreams, and now you’re thriving in the Big Apple? Did you hope that one day you would be able to spend weekends hiking with a backpack full of trail mix? Those count, too.
What fears have you overcome?
"Appreciate how far you’ve come and how many possibilities are in your future."
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Appreciate how far you’ve come and how many possibilities are in your future.
This does NOT mean you need to submerge yourself in a vat of cockroaches and reenact an episode of Fear Factor. Can you now give speeches when you used to feel like Anne Hathaway in The Princess Diaries? Have you publicly shared some of your creative work when the thought used to give you hives? You may not have developed specific goals around these fears, but it’s worth noting that you’ve spent time conquering ideas and notions that used to scare you.
What could you not have done a year ago that you are capable of now?
While this list could look similar to the lists above, ask yourself, what would I not have been able to do a year ago? This list may be filled with more unexpected and spontaneous achievements -- maybe it’s bench-pressing a certain amount of weight, or maybe belting a high C. What skills have you developed in the past year?
4. Authentically Live in the Present
My friend Tyree Boyd-Pates has a signature phrase, “trust the process.” You can have an end goal or destination -- but don’t think that there is only one path to get there.
Your journey may be winding as hell, have multiple forks with no munchkins guiding you, but everything you encounter along the way will only strengthen you. Don’t focus so much on the future that you can’t take in life lessons in the moment.
All of the experiences you’re having now will help you get to where you want to go, and perhaps more importantly, where you need to be. And that’s exciting, because I can only imagine what achievements will deserve an annoyingly all-knowing head shake in the years to come.
Felicia Fitzpatrick is the Social Media Manager for Playbill. When she’s not teaching Broadway performers how to use Snapchat, you can find her eating spaghetti, listening to Christmas music and rewatching Gilmore Girls seasons 1-4.
11 Badass Women Share Their Thoughts on International Women's Day
Stay woke.
Future is Female poster designed by Kimothy Joy
We asked 11 women the following question in anticipation of International Women’s Day (today!!), a global celebration of the social, economic, cultural and political achievements of women.
Q: If you could steer the conversation around International Women’s Day, what would that dialogue be about?
These are their badass answers.
LAUREN MILLER ROGEN
Oh man, so many important things! I think there are many conversations worth having. But, I think one of the biggest issues that women still face is breaking gender stereotypes that have been laid out for them for generations and generations, so for me I love to celebrate women who really broke the mold whether it be Eleanor Roosevelt, Malala, Beyoncé, or Kamala Harris. Women are doing AMAZING things and I think that there are so many worth highlighting to inspire women everywhere by examining the choices trailblazers made along their way.
DAYA
As women, we need to focus more on building each other up rather than tearing each other down. We need to lead the way to change and we are not going to make progress unless we focus on bringing other women with us so we can rise together.
FRANCHESCA RAMSEY
I'd encourage more women to be intersectional in their activism. It's important to acknowledge our privilege and remember that there are all types of women from a variety of walks of life that face challenges that we do not. If you're truly committed to advocating for women you have to be willing to stand up for all women regardless of race, sexuality, physical ability, religion, class or gender identity, not just ladies that look like you.
CONSTANCE ZIMMER
Equality. I find it unbelievable that a woman doing the same job as a man is not making the same amount of money. That's mind boggling to me.
SANAA LATHAN
I want us to focus on anything around mentoring and empowering young girls-- from body image to cultural pride to self-esteem and self-worth.
NICOLE BYER
That all women are beautiful, smart, strong as fuck and special. We also have to listen to each other and remember to be inclusive. There's feminism and intersectional feminism.
LAUREN CONRAD
I think the progress we've made in recent years is fantastic, but we still a lot of work to do. As women we should do all we can to support each other and continue to move in the right direction. We are always stronger together.
LAUREN PAUL
I would hope that the conversation is well rounded and that it would make every woman feel celebrated. Whether you are a politician, CEO or a mother. There is no specific definition to what a strong, empowered woman looks like because that varies for each person. To define that, ultimately creates exclusion because we are all different. In this beautiful chapter where feminism and girl bosses are highlighted (yay!) I really want stay at home mothers to feel celebrated and reminded that they too are hard-working HEROS.
PIERA GELARDI
The world is sitting on a huge untapped natural resource: billions of women who have not been able to reach their full potential. I’d love to create a vision statement and paint a picture of what the world would look like — what greatness we could unleash by bringing Women’s Equality and Empowerment to the forefront. And show that there’s a huge business case for doing this.
MANDY MOORE
I hope the dialogue continues around gender equality and recognizing the need for a larger political, cultural and social shift when it comes to pro-women policies on a global level. When women and girls are empowered, educated, healthy and free of violence, they can recognize their full potential and make an enormous impact on their communities and ultimately the world economy.
SARAH MICHELLE GELLAR
I hope to see more women supporting other women. I have always believed that when women work together we can do anything. So often we are pitted against each other instead of remembering we are a big tribe.
What do you hope for today? Share below!
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Wondering What to Send? There's a Bouquet for Every Career Occasion
Bloomin' freakin' brilliant.
Florals have been adorning tabletops for years, but bringing a little bloom to your career is also a good look. And not just for spring.
There are plenty of career occasions where flowers not only spruce up a space, but might even help you get ahead.
And if you’re thinking about sending flowers to a boss, a colleague, or your #workwife, but don’t know where to start, our friends at UrbanStems, the floral brand with fresh blooms delivered to you in minutes, are dishing on the best bouquets for every career occasion.
There's a flower for every occasion.
THE INTERVIEW FOLLOW-UP
Worried that you’ll seem overeager? You don’t need to send the biggest bunch your potential employer has ever seen, but a unique arrangement that shows you pay attention to trends but are also able to think “outside the bouquet” might just be the edge that gets you the job. And if it doesn’t you will have left an indelible impression, that might lead to something down the road. .
Opt for: The Blanc: Striking a balance between memorable and professional is key and super chic tulips are always a safe bet. The wow factor gets upped a bit with an unusual variety: “peony” tulips — lush, fluffy blooms that are the spitting image of their coveted late spring namesake.
THE CONGRATS ON YOUR RAISE
Haven’t you heard? The energy you put out is the energy you bring in. If a friend gets a promotion or a raise, congratulate them with a beautiful arrangement that includes a “thriller” flower, because a flower-filled celebration is in order.
What says congrats best: The Tango. Bold colors are the best way to get the party started! The Tango is full of fiery shades of orange and red, and funky stems like ranunculus and parrot tulips make it feel extra special.
THE BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME
It’s inevitable. There are career highs and lows. But when a colleague or good friend really takes a hit, opt for a thoughtful gesture that will be much appreciated when they’re in the doldrums. Send your pal flowers and a note to remind them that you don’t get flowers without a little rain.
Keep ‘em smiling through the pain with: The Dino. A good laugh is the best way to beat the blues and this quirky dino succulent planter pretty much guarantees a smile. Succulents are easy to care for and super sturdy, so they’ll outlast any rough patch.
THE 'THANKS FOR THE OPPORTUNITY' GIFT
If someone goes out of their way to facilitate an intro, an interview, or patch you in on a deal, a thank you bunch goes a long way. Especially if it’s someone you don’t know very well. They will be all the more willing to help you out next time if you show your appreciation.
Make yourself memorable with: The Mimosa. Garden roses are absolutely fabulous in their own right, but striking colors like yellow and green are completely unexpected. Mixed with feather eucalyptus and dainty wax flowers, it’s sweet and earnest — just the kind of gratitude you want to convey!
THANK YOUR BOSS WHEN THEY DO A GREAT JOB
It’s not as easy to be the boss as it seems. You have a company and salaries and bringing in dollars to worry about all the time. And when you’re the boss, you don’t have someone above you patting you on the back when you do a good job. In fact, it’s a little thankless.
Make your boss smile with: The Cathy. Your boss has enough to worry about, so an ultra low-maintenance air plant is the perfect way to show them some love without adding to their to-do list. Air plants can take a lot of neglect and need almost no water to stay fabulous-looking.
Want more? Head to UrbanStems to find the perfect floral for any function.
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5 Quick and Easy Ways to Hack Your Work Week
Giving you a case of the Monyays.
photo credit: Sarah Derweiler
Sure, it's Sunday night and the work week ahead doesn't look appealing. But we want to give you a case of the Mon-yays with a few easy hacks that will start your week off right.
They're simple, take virtually no time to implement and allow you to get right back to your regularly scheduled evening.
1. SET YOUR ALARM WITH AN AFFIRMATION
It's easy to moan, groan, and snooze when your alarm goes off Monday AM. After a lazy weekend of sleeping in and waffles at noon, a 7am wakeup call can feel, well, like torture. But you need to head into your week with a positive outlook-- that's the first step to positive outcomes. So, set your alarm to go off with an affirmation. Something that makes you excited to start the day. It's super easy, especially with an iPhone. Instead of keeping the "Label" as "Alarm," fill in a positive saying that gets you rolling out of the right side of the bed.
That's what we call #mondaymotivation.
2. LOG OUT OF YOUR PERSONAL INSTAGRAM BEFORE YOU GO TO SLEEP
The endless Instagram scroll is a hard habit to break, but adding a second barrier between you and the social media time suck might be the pause button you need to not waste time on Monday.
We all do it. Especially when we're supposed to be getting back on our grind. But try something different and start this week not lost in the IG black hole. It's hard to pick up the momentum lost.
You can log back in Monday night. We promise, you won't have missed anything massive.
3. DON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT MONDAY
The energy you put out is the energy you get back. If you want to have a bad work week, go ahead, complain. We suggest that instead, you jot down a quick list of items you're looking FORWARD to attacking this week. Not all tasks are fun, but pay attention to the ones you feel connected to, and train your focus there. When we accomplish items we are emotionally connected to it gives us the fuel we need to make it through tasks that are mundane or daunting.
4. MEAL PLAN YOUR WEEK
It's all too easy to fall into the weekly rut of waiting to eat until the last moment possible. But just as sleep is crucial to productivity, so is food. Without brainfood, you've got brain mush. If you're used to Postmating your meal at the last minute, this is for you. Spend 15 minutes planning out what you want to eat for lunch this week. Reports show that only 1 in 5 workers are taking adequate lunch breaks, but it's not making us better workers.
The way you spend your lunch break affects how productive you are for the rest of the day. When you're eating, do nothing but eat. Multi-tasking when you're supposed to be refueling is the wrong way to go about it.
5. TRY GOING COLD TURKEY
If you find yourself easily distracted by the internet and all its wiles, you're hardly alone. But there is a difference between checking something for work and checking out entirely. If your concentration level on Monday falls between zero and zero plus, consider using Cold Turkey. It’s a website that temporarily blocks you from going to sites that are distractions and is highly customizable to your needs.
Have other hacks? Share in the comments below and give everyone a shot a wonderful work week.
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Write That Down: One CEO’s Major Hacks for Managing the Hustle
First she drinks the coffee, then she does this.
photo credit: May Designs
When Mica May, CEO and founder of May Designs, couldn’t find a pretty and practical notebook to take to client meetings she started making her own— literally stapling pages together. A woman’s gotta do what a woman’s gotta do. The designer did it so well that her clients starting asking where they came from, giving May the confidence boost that she was on to something good.
Now, May Designs offers customized notebooks (and more!) that easily fit into your purse. It’s a lifestyle brand that believes in the power of writing it down to get it done.
Here’s why:
HOLD YOURSELF ACCOUNTABLE & WRITE IT DOWN
You may not be surprised to learn that CEO and founder of May Designs, Mica May, abides by the write it down policy— a habit many of us have abandoned. The abundance of apps, notes in our phones, and the landscape of the multi-screen economy may have you thinking, paper? Who needs it?
But don’t give up on pen and paper just yet. When you write something down, it not only helps you commit that task or goal to short-term memory, but it keeps you accountable to yourself and others. It also helps you manage the day-to-day minutiae. After all, the devil isn't in the details, the devil is the details. Luckily he doesn't like notebooks.
"The devil isn't in the details, the devil is the details."
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Part of that management strategy includes determining what you need to handle over the course of your day and the tasks that you can let others handle. For a long time, May Designs was a one-woman show, but now the CEO makes the point to ask herself, “‘What is on my list today that is something that only I can work on?’ Then I do those things first,” she shares.
That requires writing said “things” down. If you don’t have something to check-off or cross off, you’re using up valuable brain space attempting to keep track of it all. It may be impressive that you can remember everything, but it’s not using your talents wisely. Free up your thinker to come up with brilliant ideas, instead of keep track of tasks. May says, “Writing things down clears your mind and allows you to set clear priorities.”
DECIDE WHAT YOU ARE EMOTIONALLY CONNECTED TO
Speaking of priorities…
There are *obviously* parts of every job that don’t tug on your heartstrings and there are tasks throughout the day that no one will feel an emotional connection to (does anyone LOVE going to the bank?), but finding the joy in your job is an important part of success. There have to be points in your day where you get excited or you will burnout.
“Writing things down clears your mind and allows you to set clear priorities.”
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Mica May, founder and CEO May Designs.
“When I only had a couple of employees and three babies and my husband was still working full time, we asked ourselves, ‘How are we going to get through a single day?’” May recalls. “So, I wrote down literally every single thing that had to happen on each day of the week—get the kids dressed, take them to school—and put a name by it. I asked myself, ‘Am I emotionally connected to this task? Someone needs to drop Madelyn off at art class at 3 on Wednesday. Do I care if that’s me? Nope, but I want to pick her up because she’s excited to show me what she did, and I can stay and chat with her art teacher at the end of class.”
Consider it finding the joie de vivre in your work day. YES! It exists. The happier you are, the better your work.
DON’T REINVENT THE WHEEL
Overcomplicating the process is not going to get your anywhere. The point isn’t that “writing it down” is new advice, it just so happens to be a crucial step we skip. Getting back into the habit is the hardest part.
May advises blocking your time in 15-minute increments or using a paper calendar paired with a digital "Google Calendar" to help you provide a visual representation of your days and week ahead.
She also says sustainable habits are the key to success. “Truly look at your current habits and be honest with yourself,” shares the CEO. “Do you love the way you are spending your time? What small changes can you make that will maximize your work time vs. your personal life?”
We call that working the write way.
To see everything that May Designs has to offer, click here. And then tell us what your goals in the comments below! Consider it your first step to holding yourself accountable.
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This Bed Can Talk to Your Fitness Tracker
And that means something big for you career.
If there was something that could make you smarter, healthier, and happier, you’d be into it, right?
It’s what we’re all in search of: the secret life hack that gets us on track and well on our way to greatness. So what if we told you that secret was in your sleep?
The connection between sleep and productivity has been documented by multiple studies. But what if there was something that could take you beyond good sleep? Something that would help your career goals long term...
UP IN YOUR ROOM, WORKIN’ ON YOUR SLEEP
During all stages of sleep, your mind is hard at work, processing new memories, placing them into long-term brain storage, and integrating the new knowledge with past experiences. It’s during this downtime when we allow ourselves to rest that so much crucial brain work gets done. During deep sleep our brains actually drain toxins that have built up over the course of the day. They also consolidate memories, restore energy stores, and solidify knowledge.
And we all know, knowledge is power.
The short of it is: If you don’t downtime you won’t download— which is a critical cog in your internal career machine. Without sleep you aren’t as likely to come up with creative ideas, problem solve, or focus.
“If you don’t downtime you won’t download.”
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A lack of good sleep means a lack of good ideas.
BUT ALSO, WORKIN’ ON YOUR FITNESS
Countless athletes credit sleep as one of the most crucial parts to their success. In fact, many sports professionals have sleep coaches in addition to their regular coaches. For those of us who don’t have a #sleepsquad at our beck and call, there are options.
The “it bed” by Sleep Number is smarter than your average bed. Beyond using its proprietary algorithm and predictive tech to figure out what your sleep “number” should be, it can talk to your fitness tracker. Why does this matter?
It can give you insight into your workout that will allow you to sleep better, which in turn will allow you to function better throughout the day. For instance, if the it bed sees that you ran 5 miles but didn’t sleep well, it will tell you how to improve your workout, which will in turn, improve your sleep. It is constantly sending data to a SleepIQ app you can download. Pete Bils, VP of Sleep Science and Research at Select Comfort says, "Our research found: people who used SleepIQ technology experienced improved sleep quality and more restful time in bed."
Consider “it” the sleep coach you can’t afford.
GET YOUR BRAIN OUT OF FIRST GEAR & INTO FIRST PLACE
The research is in: the link between sleep and productivity is real. Why do refuse to believe it? No one is the sleep outlier. It’s not the enemy and you certainly shouldn’t do it when you’re dead. Romanticizing the notion of not sleeping is a cultural epidemic. It’s time you shut that idea down and shut your brain off.
If you’re sleeping less, you might *technically* be getting *more* done, but if you’re not sleeping you’re not operating at max capacity. Getting a good night's sleep improves health and thinking. Not sleeping impairs cognition, attention, and decision making. Bils shares, "Quality sleep affects every aspect, every role of your life. Better mood, disposition, attitude and outlook."
So make a great decision and opt for 7-8 restful hours per night. Your career (and workout) will thank you.